metamorphosis. franz kafka. again.

i am a bad blogger.  this google doodle informed me that july 3 was franz kafka's birthday.  i then wrote the following blog not realizing i had already done a post on it.  but decided to leave it because though it has the same idea, i do make some better points.  enjoy a rehashing of "the metamorphosis":

i originally read "the metamorphosis" my senior year of high school.  and i actually did read it.  i found the premise interesting, a man that morphs into a cockroach.  the only thing that left a real impression on me was the apple that got lodged in gregor's back (when he was in roach form) after someone threw it at him.  it made me sad to imagine him stuck with an apple in his back for the rest of his life or until it rotted.  and imagine the kind of infection an apple could cause!   i remember drawing a roach with an apple in his back for a project in which we had to draw what was going on in gregor's mind.  in addition to the apple, milk comes to mind when i think of this book but because i think he was fed it.  i mean do roaches find milk appetizing?  but other than that i don't recall any deeper meaning.

upon my re-reading as an adult, the lesson that i learned from this novella, was not to be a slave to your job.  work can alienate you from the people you love and can lead to lonelieness.  this interpretation can also be my millennial point-of-view on work looking for validation.  work should be something that adds to life not takes away from it.  in "metamorphosis", all gregor had was work and that turned him into a monster, literally.  i mean how else can you interpret cockroach?  though i learned on wikipedia that a better translation for the word kafka used is vermin, so maybe gregor isn't supposed to be a roach?  but i think it works best for imagery purposes, so i am okay with the translator that chose cockroach.

prior to gregor's metamorphosis, his life centered around his work.   gregor was a traveling salesman and worked towards paying off his family's debt.  as a result of his traveling, he had no social life or identity beyond his occupation.  gregor realized that his work did not allow him to have friends and all he really had was his family.  his loneliness is demonstrated by his framed magazine picture of the woman in furs.  he is like a teenage girl filled with love but with no real person in her life so it is directed toward whatever teenage heartthrob is popular at the time.     though gregor was lonely, in his human form he could have changed his life, but sadly as a cockroach that was not possible.

the sadder realization is that gregor's life as a human was not much different than his life as a cockroach.  the only difference is that there was a physical manifestation of his alienation versus the immaterial one of his job.  as a roach, his interaction with his family was limited based on his appearance as a bug. his mother was scared of him, his father was worried, though his sister was in tune with his needs, overall they were primarily concerned by how his condition affected their income.   however, this would have been the same if he was a human, his job limited his interaction with his family since he travelled. also the emotions of his family would have been the same, since gregor was the breadwinner of the family, they saw him more in terms of their income versus a person.  this is demonstrated by the parents immediate fear of the cockroach versus his sister who still considered the cockroach as gregor.  

gregor's sister was the only person who saw gregor as a person in his human form.  this is demonstrated in her giving him milk in the beginning, which was his favorite drink and which he did not like as a cockroach (so to answer my other question, roaches do not like milk). however, even her opinion of him changed because she started to treat gregor as a cockroach.  she fed him scraps and garbage and moved furniture so it is easier for him to crawl around.  it seems sad that his sister's

opinion changed but gregor and his sister's relationship would have probably become estranged even if gregor remained in his human form.  all relationships take work even the ones that we assumed are givens like family relations.  if gregor continued to work as he did, the physical distance would have caused gregor and his sister to grow apart.  gregor initially was happy to work to support his sister however i could imagine him becoming resentful

of it later.  

i think kafka wanted us all to realize that work is not the means to happiness in life.  one needs social interaction with people to be happy. in a sociology class i took at ucla, i read excerpts for the book "working" by studs terkel.  from what i can recall, people's self-identity is very much intertwined with their occupation even though they may not enjoy working.   i remember discussing how the expectation of work as something enjoyable is ridiculous since by definition work is hard physical labor.  the point was made in the book or maybe the class that in the bible, work was initially a form of punishment.  adam was casted out of the garden of eden and focused to labor for taking a bite of the forbidden fruit.  from the very beginning (if you believe in a judeo-christian religion) work was a punishment.  therefore, since work is not a source of joy, it should not be the main focus of our lives.  

i know that this must sound like selfish millennial talk but whereas my generation's view of work is rooted in the fact that everyone got a participation reward regardless of their effort growing up; kafka's novel is a warning of not allowing work to crush the human spirit.  regardless of gregor's physical appearance, he was still gregor.  his mind was not effected by the metamorphosis, he still thought like a human.  granted gregor couldn't communicate like a human as a cockroach (though i think that was to demonstrate how as a human, gregor was never communicated how he actually felt), he still had a sound mind.  and perhaps that is the real lesson of "metamorphosis", regardless of the fact that work can change one beyond recognition, it can never truly change one's soul.  though gregor changed physically he was still the same

person spiritually, he still cared for his family and felt guilty about being a burden to them.  there was still something human about gregor especially since he responded to the music that his sister played.  therefore, gregor serves as a warning to what can happen if you allow work to consume your life.  one must find time to develop their soul and not just work.  i think it is important to point out that kafka didn't view all work as evil.  when the family began working for themselves there was an improvement in their lives.  so maybe kafka just wants us to find a nice balance, work is fine just do not become consumed by it.

stanley kubrick retrospective. lacma.

if you are an avid reader of this blog (thank you if you actually exist!) then you know that i have spent the last couple of months checking out as many kubrick films as i could in preparation of this exhibit.  prior to this exhibit, i was a huge fan of "a clockwork orange" (i loved the book as a teen) and "full metal jacket", but after watching his catalogue, i became a fan of his work.  i did not see all of his films but luckily i did see the ones that were featured in this retrospective.

the retrospective covers his early career as a photographer, his films: the killing, paths of glory, spartacus, lolita, dr. strangelove, 2001: space odyssey, a clockwork orange, barry lyndon, the shining, full metal jacket, eyes wide shut, and the never made, aryan papers.  there was also a portion dedicated to the film A.I. which i skipped because i didn't see the film nor have a desire too.

as i watched and researched about kubrick's films, i learned that they were based on literary works.  as a result, there were so many amazing bookish pieces in the retrospective.

letters between vladimir nabokov, author of "lolita" and kubrick about the screenplay.

bookcase filled with books for research for "barry lyndon".  he really wanted it to be true to the era and did an extensive amount of research for it.

kubrick's copy of "the shining" filled with his notes.  these pages demonstrated kubrick's attention to detail, he had notes for the set based on the setting from the book.

the books that "full metal jacket" were based on.

i loved kubrick a little bit more based on his bookwormness.

here are some of my other favorite parts of the exhibit:

mitchell mbc camera.

i was so excited to see this camera.  i had read about it on wikipedia after watching "barry lyndon".  this camera was engineered by kubrick and his team, i am not sure how it works (they had some lenses from NASA) but i do know it resulted in a beautiful film.  all of those beautiful scenes lit by candlelight or daylight, all thanks to this camera.

continuing with the "barry lyndon" room:

a letter from audrey hepburn.  kubrick had asked her to be in "barry lyndon" but sadly she was unable to act in it.  marisa berenson ended up with role and was beautiful as lady lyndon.  my friend shawn pointed out the letter to me and we both decided that the film was better off without a big name like hepburn in it.

"a clockwork orange" was the first kubrick film i saw.  so was excited about all of the props from that film:

love the eyeball cuffs!!!!!

in the clockwork orange room, i attempted to give my friends, shawn and chrissie, a quick tidbit about kubrick's adaption of the novel but forgot how it went.  i googled to refresh my memory.  so here it goes:  kubrick's film omits the ending of the novel.  burgess had this whole theory about cycles and numbers and wrote the novel as three cycles of seven chapters.  however, american publishers did not think americans would buy the ending in which alex reforms of his own will, so they omitted it. the version that kubrick read was the american was so his adaption does not have the compete ending.

"the shining" room was seriously creepy with all of its props.  though i have to admit that i was disappointed that the big wheel was not in there.

if you read my shining post, you know i loved the fashion in it.  so was excited to see this:

dr. strangelove:

this picture is from a pie fight scene that was cut.  even though this photo is amazing, i do agree that the pie fight would have caused the film to lose some of its edge.

full metal jacket:

and last but not least, "eyes wide shut":

i also made some instavideoes which i will post later.

but as you can see the exhibit was amazing and i hope you were able to see it (if you live in la).

are you there god? it's me, margaret. judy blume.

thanks to a flavorpill post, i learned that june 17 is blumesday, a day to honor author judy blume.  it's a play on june 16 which is bloomsday, a day to celebrate author james joyce; his work "ulysses" is set on june 16, 1904.  

since i loved reading judy blume books as a preteen (we didn't have the term "tween" back than), i decided to read "are you there god? it's me, margaret" to celebrate blumesday.  (and the copy in the photo is my original copy that i read when i was a preteen!)

as hopefully you all know from your own reading, "are you there god? it's me, margaret" is about a girl in sixth grade, margaret, and her journey through the tougher parts of being a girl: shopping for a first bra, waiting to get a period because everyone else already has theirs, discovering how catty girlfriends can be, and realizing the cute guy in class is not necessarily the best guy.  though, margaret has one other issue which is where the title comes from, a lack of religious identity.  margaret's father is jewish and his mother is catholic since their parents did not approve of their marriage, they decided to raise margaret without a religion and let her chose when she is older.  regardless of the absence of religion growing up, margaret still turns to god to help cope with the stress of growing up.

i think i read this book when i was in sixth grade, which would be prefect because it was the same age as margaret.  i believe it was sixth because i didn't have my period yet (i started in 7th).  as a result, i had to asked my mom and aunt about the whole sanitary napkin belt that maraget discussed.  they told me about the belts they had to use but thankfully i didn't have to worry about all that because my sanitary napkins would come (and still do) with adhesive so they would stick to my undies.   i mean tampon commercials demonstrate all the things you can do thanks to tampons, imagine all the things you couldn't do thanks to that belt.

and i am glad i read this book pre-period because sixth grader me needed the life lessons blume gave in this book.  blume gives such a honest portrayal of growing up that this should be required preteen girl reading.  i must admit that i when i read this book as a preteen, i dwelled on the parts about making your boobs grow (my breast came in high school, i can admit that i did "i must, i must, i must, increase my bust" a handful of times) and periods but i got that the girls were being catty for no reason and that the hot boy was a jerk, but i didn't take those stories to heart like i should have.  but i mean i was still young, life would see to it that i learned those lessons.  and in retrospect, it's sad because as a preteen you learn these lessons, but people don't really change.  at thirty, i still see women being catty and in all my years of existence, i have only met one hot guy who was actually nice.  i take back my earlier statement about this being required preteen girl reading, it should be required female reading!

a big portion of the book that went over my head was the religious part.  i got why  margaret didn't have a religon but i didn't really get it.  for one thing, judaism was an abstract idea for me then, i didn't met a jewish person until i was in college. i knew catholics so knew how their church went but didn't really get all of the parts about margaret's temple experience.  i did understand the importance of marrying within one's religion, but have never felt the pressure to do so. my family members have married all religons and ethnicities so i never felt the need to marry a specific kind of person.  for example, my grandfather was chinese-arabian and a muslim (he was really strict about the pork eating) and my grandmother is mexian-filipino who was raised catholic but converted to mormonism.  our family is one big melting pot (which i love) so if i married a jew or a catholic, no one would have an issue.  as a result, i probably was able to understand what was going on in but didn't really identify with margaret.

as an adult, looking back i that blume presents important points about spirituality versus organized religions for preteens.  even though margaret does not have a religion, she still has a relationship with god.  this provides two importance lessons.  first that ones relationship with god can and should  be personal and defined by onself.  growing up mormon, i believed that there was only one correct way (as instructed by the church) to worship god but as i grew up i realized that what is important is one's faith in god versus the rituals of organized religion).  the second lesson is one of tolerance, every time margaret goes to experience a new religion she speaks to god as a being that watches over all things and not restricted to one religion.  margaret is right in addressing the same god each time because essentially the jewish, catholic and christian god are the same god.  this is an important point to make so kids will not be prejudices against others due to their religion because at the heart of it all, judeo-christian faiths believe in the same god.

i am glad that i reread "are you there god? it's me, margaret" because it reminded me of what a wonderful author judy blume is.  i will have to reread some of her other books i read as a kid.

new york, i love you.

while walking through central park, last saturday, my cousin apollo and i started talking about the vignette in "new york, i love you" with the boy that takes the girl (the bff in "juno") to prom and she is in a wheelchair.  they have sex thanks to a belt in a tree in central park.  and in the end, it turns out that she isn't in a wheelchair but just a method actress!  we couldn't remember any other ones other than the one with natalie portman and the odd one with shia labeaouf.  i mentioned hoping that netflix had it so you can imagine how happy i was when it was at the library! so of course i checked it out!

i didn't see "new york, i love you" in theaters, i either rented it or caught it on tv.  i love "paris je t'aime" so had high expectations for this, though it wasn't as good as "paris" i still enjoyed it.  i will say i forgot how many good and newish actors were in this:  justin barba, bradley cooper, orlando bloom, christina ricci, rachel bilson, james caan, blake lively, maggie q, and ethan hawke.

i won't discuss all the vignettes, just my favorites.

the prom one is definitely my favorite.  and i forgot james caan was in it! he was the perfect new york dad, i mean he is sonny.  i loved when the kids are rushing back and stressed cos it is way past curfew but all he is concerned with we're the yankees!

i loved the one with natalie portman as the hasidic jew and her hindu business partner and their fantasies of marrying each other.  all of the banter on diets was  funny.  also discovered thanks to wikipedia this this vignette was directed by mira nair who directed "monsoon wedding" which is a favorite of mine!

the shia labeouf, though confusing, there's a yahoo answer about it.  i still think it is beautiful.  my interpretation is this the older woman was going to attempt suicide by jumping out her window but labeouf was her guardian angel, preventing it from happening.

i also adore the one with cloris leachman.  that little old couple is too cute trying to get to coney island to celebrate their anniversay.  i hope i find someone that i can grow old with.  

i enjoyed the orlando bloom one for its references to the dakota.  i made sure to go pay my respects to john lennon by going to the dakota and listening to my favorite beatles songs.  i also loved the literary references.  note to self:  i need to read "crime and punishment" and "the brothers karamazov".  also what is with bloom and falling in love with girls over the phone (see: "elizabethtown").

and last but not least loved how the ethan hawke one was so tongue-in-cheek.

also loved all fillers.  i want a boyfriend like justin barba that will surprise me with a trip.  i laughed every time bradley cooper got in a cab.  also maggie q at the cleaners hilarious.

i will add the ending was cheesy.  i liked the paris ending more.  but a great complication and i will check it out anytime i miss nyc.

catcher, caught. sarah collins honenberger.

i first saw "catcher, caught" on amazon's daily deal and the houseboat which i thought was a trailer, didn't intrigue me (who wants to read about white trash?) so i didn't read the description of it.  then, it reappeared in the kindle store and i read it was the story of a boy with only a year to live that runs away to new york inspired by "catcher in the rye", hence the title.  due to my love of" catcher in the rye", i was disappointed with myself for not buying it when it was a 1.99 on amazon.  but as luck would have it, when my mom took my brother to the san juan capistrano mission, i opt out of paying to see the mission, and went to the library.  where oddly enough i spent more money on books than my mission admission, and one of the books i purchased for $1 was "catcher, caught".

since i just finished "the catcher in the rye" and was going to new york, i decided to read "catcher, caught" since i would be in the right setting.  of course i didn't have any time to read in nyc and fell asleep on my flight there but that was fine because sadly the running away part was at the end and not the whole story.

i was disappointed because i thought "catcher, caught" would pay homage to "catcher" by being the story of a boy trying to find himself by retracing holden's stops in new york.  i mean that is what the back cover claimed, but it wasn't about that.  the setting for majority of the story is virginia, where the main character, daniel who is dying from leukemia, lives with his family in a houseboat.  daniel does read and analyze "the catcher in the rye" throughout the book but i was less interested because i wanted him to be in new york, trying to be holden.

to be honest, i didn't care for this book. one reason being that daniel did not seem like a 16 year old boy to me, but more like an older woman trying to sound like a 16 year old boy.  i have never been a 16 year old boy nor have i ever been faced with dying in a year but there are still some things i expect a teenager to act like regardless.  there were times where his thoughts were too sensitive for an adolescent male.  and the way he talked about meredith's body was way too mature for a 16 year old boy, don't they just want see tits?  also who has sex for the first time and it be this amazing experience?!?!  daniel was a 16 year old boy from the backwoods of virginia, i mean he would have lasted like 3 minutes if he was lucky.  and they did it twice? i mean they went through two condoms, and i am going to assume that one of them was broken because they didn't know how to put it on versus having sex twice. and yes, daniel was dying but meredith gave it up quite quickly.  i mean don't kids experiment with oral sex before they have actual sex?  also who lets their 16 year old twin daughters stay out til 1 am?  other than parents of teen moms.

another issue i had was daniel's relationship with his kid brother nick.  nick was younger and competitive (this adjective was used every time this character was mentioned, we got the point collins honenberger) and obviously having issues with his brother dying but daniel didn't try to help him cope with it.  he just got annoyed with him wanting pizza all the time.  daniel was having deep 40 year old woman thoughts about life but couldn't demonstrate any sent sensitivity towards his brother.  phoebe was so important to holden and daniel recognized that but sadly didn't apply it to his life.  a nice story plot would have been daniel seeing holden's love for phoebe as an example of how he should treat his brother.

another thing i could not handle were the hippie parents.  they made no sense to me as characters. first and foremost, the mom does not send him to school for fear of germs but they live on a houseboat!  how sanitary can a houseboat be? especially one docked on a river, shouldn't she be concerned about malaria carrying mosquitos?  and i am all up for alternative methods of medicine, i mean i take garlic cloves over cough syrup to stop a cough but your kid has a couple of years of life and you don't opt for chemo? i don't know what year this was suppose to take place in, maybe the early 90s (there was a cellphone but no mention of internet) and i know organic food is a recent trend but i would have like to have seen hippie mom with some illegal garden and feeding her kids from that.  also i wish the dad had a backbone, i mean he obviously wanted daniel to have chemo.  

in the end, daniel runs away to new york and discovered that holden's new york is  no longer there.  he also discovered how rich holden probably was.  it's funny co as a kid, i didn't noticed but when i reread as an adult, i got it.  i thought the whole scene in trump tower was kinda bogus.  it was the 90s, era of heroin chic so maybe they saw daniel's luekemia-ridden body and thought dope fiend.  but a kid has a nosebleed don't you help versus kick him out of your building, wouldn't donald be worried about a lawsuit?

the story comes to an abrupt ending in which yay! daniel gets chemo thanks to the state of new york!  and by the way, the person i liked the most was the nurse in the er, she was the only one with common sense.  she was also the only believable character.

in closing, just like i said in my goodreads review, if you are want to read this based on your love for "catcher" don't, just reread catcher instead.

the giving tree. shel silverstein.

as i mentioned in my previous blog from today, brother bear has started a summer reading program.  the first book on his read list was "the giving tree" by shel silverstein.  

i love love love love love love "the giving tree".  it is my favorite book of all time.  ok, so it might be tied with "where the wild things are" but i do get more emotional when i read "the giving tree". it makes me cry every time i read it. it's a wonderful story of the greatest love of all (even greater than whitney's).  the tree gives all she has to the boy simply because she loves him.  i also admired the trees innovative thinking because she might not have what the boy needs but finds a way to help him.

"the giving tree" is beautiful metaphor for parental love.  the tree loves the boy and helps him through all stages of his life.   furthermore, the tree expects nothing in return for her help.  due to this, one may think the boy is selfish but he is a child and as children, we are so focused on our own needs that we tend to neglect our parents and may not always express gratitude.  however, this lack does not mean a lack of love.  we just we get caught up in our lives but will always love our parents in return just like the boy returned to the tree.

this interpretation of "the giving tree" is why i get emotional because it reminds me of my grandma.  grandma bea is my giving tree.  her love is selfless and all she wants is for her kids and grandchildren to be happy.  she may not always have the means to aid her family but she will make do with what she has and provide what she can.  and in the end, regardless just knowing that she loves you is enough to get you through your low points in life.  my grandma has given me so much, just like the tree does for the boy  that i will never be able to repay her but i know she knows how much i love her and that is payment enough.  also as selfish as it may sound, i know the happiness of her kids and grandkids is enough payment for her as well.  and that is why she is so amazing.

delano library's summer reading program.

reading is delicious!!  

before i go on this picture reminded me of book it! i really wish that pizza hut would bring this program back!  when i was a kid, the highlight of my week was eating my personal pan pizza thanks to book it!  pizza is a great motivational tool for reading, i mean maybe it's why i am a bookworm now.  lol

today i took brother bear to join the summer reading program at the delano library.  just like my grandma took me as a kid and my mom when she was a kid.  keeping the tradition alive!  oh and it's a full family tradition, found out today my cousin bria also signed up for summer reading!

the program requires kids to read 10 books and at the end of the summer they get a paperback book at the ice cream social.  however, in addition to this i have challenged my brother to read more books than me!  if he does, he gets a 

lego.  if i read more, he buys me a pizza! (this deal was made before i saw the picture of the summer reading log, lol). but i think he's excited for that challenge because he read two books today! hopefully he keeps it up. i am excited for him because i have great memories of the summer reading program.  i mean this blog is proof of that!

oh and if you are reading this and have kids, so sign them up!!