eat pray love. elizabeth gilbert.

i had no desire to read this book when it first came out. i also had no desire to see the movie. i knew that i wouldn't enjoy it because a) i would be jealous the whole time and b) i would be super sad that i was not traveling. but when two PDC dance moms (cassie and colleen) and i decided to start a dance moms book club, we copied colleen's friend's book club and started with "eat pray love." but i was right, i was jealous but was more inspired than sad when it came to the traveling.

i hate to admit this, especially since her book was inspiring travel-wide, i thought elizabeth gilbert was annoying and a horrible person. at the risk of sounding like a bitch, i understood why she had some many problems, she was neurotic. when i first started reading i couldn't take her seriously, with her bathroom crying and notebook writing to herself. maybe she it was all hyperbole for the book but it was a bit overdramatic. and i know she addressed this but i am always very skeptical of people who turned to god only in a time of need, i mean he is there when good things happen too. (and please know i am guilty of this too and always feel silly due to it.) and i get it, life is hard but deal with it, just don't throw yourself a pity party. i hate to be insensitive and i understand that depression is a disease but gilbert didn't appear to be pro-active about getting herself better but simply wanted to wallow in her self pity. and i know that this book was about her change, kudos to her. but it felt like her prior life was filled with #whitegirlproblems and #firstworldproblems. and again i know that not all people have grandiose and serious challenges in life and that a challenge is a challenge but her complaints of life were not equivalent to her actual challenges. i could not stomach her whining. okay you are getting a divorce, you don't want to have kids like you thought you did and you suffer from depression, these things are survivable. all gilbert was going through was her return of saturn, the point in everyone's life where they re-evaluate their lives and values, it is not the end of the world. in retrospect it had to be hammed up for the book, because anyone good friend would have given her a good swift kick in the ass and told her to get over herself.

i feel like a mean girl for being so judgmental but gilbert was extremely selfish, and the proof is all in the india portion. when she explained that the ashram had an application process my first thought was how the hell did they let you in. seriously thought how did she get in? with a history of mental illness and just going though a divorce? i knew she was going to be a negative energy and i was right. and i understand that the point of the ashram is to challenge yourself to center yourself but she didn't seem ready for that challenge. the girl was still mopping over david (don't get me started on that relationship) and had not come to terms with her divorce. and i understand about personal growth but i was scared that her negative energy would interfere with the growth of others. thought it seemed that her neediness presented opportunities for other to aid which helped with their personal growth but even then it felt like people were stating the obvious to her. i took a history of religion course in college so i was familiar with most of the concepts she explained. and so when richard (who i adored) explained things to her i thought to myself, seriously this is like hinduism 101 and how did they let you (gilbert) in?!?!?

i think the incident that epitomized her selfishness was the gurugita. i was appalled by her writings about it. she is in india and the whole point of her trip is personal growth and change and she is going to bitch about a prayer?!?!? being righteous in any religion is a challenge. god didn't make things easy for humans, he wants them to work for their salvation. his demands are simple which leads many to think they are easy but that is not the case. and her inability to see this still left me questioning how the hell do you get in?!?! again hope it was hyperbole for the book, she could not have been that clueless.

sorry that was a really a mean rant but but i could not handle her. but that aside, i did love reading about the people that she met on her journey. i sincerely enjoyed them and enjoyed her tales with them. she met some amazing people.

i was also seriously inspired to travel. ask my sister she received a number of texts asking her to go places. i want to go to italy and eat! and of course to rome to see the foundations. and my bucket list now includes getting pizza from that place in naples. i was also inspired to learn italian, so i requested a book from the library.

i also want to go to bail to have ketut liyer read my palm. (i googled it and you can get a session with him for $28!) this is a possibility because my family is looking to go to singapore next year and if it happens i am going to fly over to bali too. so in the end this book was inspiration and may ultimately lead me on a new path if i get my palm read. lol

and i will say that i did value this book for all of its theological thought. i was raised mormon but after taking that college course, i had a fondness of eastern religion due to the emphasis on balance versus goodness. and i have always had this theory that in christianity, god and satan are one, for if god is all knowing and all powerful that means he must also know all that in terms of "evil" which would therefore make him satan. god is like a beast with two heads. and so when ketut shared his beliefs of heaven and hell it made sense. and this made sound odd but i am not one for religion personally, however i have always had a deep appreciation of the rituals and theories of religions. i love learning about religions but from an anthropological or historical viewpoint. i am also tolerant of all religions (except for fundamentalists) and have take on a viewpoint from the novel "what dreams may come" by richard matheson which accepts all religions as true. in the novel, it is realized that your faith calls into existence the afterlife you end up with, so the christian gets heaven, the buddhist gets nirvana, even the viking get valhalla. at the end of the day, what's important in life is one's faith and not what is true. as seen in "eat pray love" it's about finding what works best for you personally so that you can be the best version of you.

so in the end, this book did inspire me so i guess i would recommend it. just don't hold it against me when elizabeth gilbert annoys you.