the house on mango street. sandra cisneros.

the kern county library has a program called one book in which i am assuming the community reads one book and there are a bunch of related events. in celebration of national hispanic month, sandra cisneros' "the house on mango street" was chosen as the one book for september-november. and even more exciting cisneros is giving a talk for the program! when i found out about the talk i decided to reread "the house on mango street" in preparation if i attend the talk.

i think i read "the house on mango street" in high school. it was assigned and i actually read it. (it is short). but i bought a copy after i read in then. i actually read my own og one versus checking it out, though i did notice that the library had new copies due to the one book program. (random: i recently came across another copy with a different cover at a $1 bookstore and purchased that one because i sadly do judge books by their covers.)

i remember loving this book in high school. the part that stuck with me all these years is when the discussion of her name "esperanza". i loved the metaphor of her name as silver chewing gum wrapper because its hard to pronounce. the actual line goes:

"at school they say my name funny as if the syllables were made out of tin and hurt the roof of your mouth."

i remember being so impressed with her imagery. i have difficulty pronouncing spanish names and words and it does feel like chewing tin. since i have a name that is always mispronounced, this part left such an impression on me.

this line also exemplifies what i love about cisneros, her poetic flair. cisneros really is a poet. each chapter reads like a poem instead of a short story. her book is filled with clever and beautiful imagery:

"our laughter for example. not the shy ice cream bells' giggle of rachel and lucy's family, but all of a sudden and surprised like a stack of dishes breaking."

"in english my name means hope. in spanish it means too many letters. it means sadness, it means waiting. it is like the number nine. a muddy color. it is the mexican records my father plays on sunday mornings when he is shaving, songs like sobbing

"you can fall asleep and wake up drunk on sky, and sky can keep you safe when you are sad."

her words really are lovely.

i also connected with this work, culturally. thanks to grandma bea i am 1/8 mexican but a very americanized one. a coconut. however thanks to growing up in delano, i am mexican culturally. people are always shocked that i can cumbia, know about the cucuy and eat elote. growing up in delano, you are inevitably mexican. and though i didn't grow up in the slums of delano, i understood how esperanza felt growing up. the insecurity of not having the right shoes at a family party, understanding the power of rubbing a egg when you have a fever and feeling safe in the dingy part of town. and though there were some things i do not know first hand, i can empathize because i know someone who has. (well maybe not the sexual abuse part.)

the part that had a bigger impact on me now than in high school was the chapter "papa who wakes up tired in the dark". the reason for the change is that my grandpa jimmy passed away in the time between my two readings. in this chapter, her papa told her that her grandfather passed away and she saw for the first time her father vulnerable and sad. this reminded me of how at my grandpa's funeral i was struck by the thought that though this was difficult for me, i could not imagine how my mom and aunts and uncles felt because that was their dad. and that it is sad to lose a grandparent, losing a father is greater lost. cisneros described it as:

"and i think if my own papa died what would i do. i think if my own papa died what would i do."

and i guess this is what i loved, is that she captured life. there is an openness and honesty in her work. it felt very autobiographical (all fiction is in some way or another). but she wrote about life and how it is not alway ideal but the human spirit perseveres.

(if you are in delano or bakersfield, pick up a copy. it's a short read. and check out her talk this thursday, 11.8.12 at csub.)