after reading and loving "paris, i love you but your bringing me down", i decided to read baldwin's debut novel. though i did not find it as delightful a read as "paris" (this subject manner was heavier), "you lost me there" was still a good book.
"you lost me there" is the story of a neuroscientist, whose research focus is alzheimer's, and his struggle to remember the details of his now-deceased wife and their marriage. it's ironic because as much as victor studied memory and the brain, he misconstrued the past and created false memories of his wife. his misconstruction also leads the reader to wonder if he has fallen victim to the very disease he is trying to cure/prevent. the book moved randomly through victor's inner thoughts to present life to memories, which also make a reader weary of his mental health. and of course, his meltdown episode on the rockerfeller's boat was a red flag (his dead wife did speak to him from beyond the grave).
random digression while we are discussing memory loss/mental health. but one night victor's goddaughter cornelia brought up a case study H.M. that she studied in school. H.M. was a gentlemen who suffered from epilepsy as a child. in an attempt to cure him, scientist removed parts of his brain. though his epileptic seizures did stop, he lost his short term memory. he could not not remember the present. his memory was restricted to twenty seconds. something would be taught to him but twenty seconds later it would be gone, his mind unable to create new memories. a extreme version of "50 first dates". i was familiar with this case study because i saw a wonderful video installation of this case study at the whitney in nyc. the piece was by kerry tribe. tribe created a film, which she ran simultaneously side by side as a duplicate, but with a twenty second delay (the time frame of H.M.'s short term memory). at inital watching, i did not understand the delay, but once i discovered the biography behind the man feature in it the film, it was quite profound. it was sad how quickly he lost what had just occured to him, and how he was unable to create new memories. luckily, his long term memory was not effected so he still had those memories and was not completely alone in his mind. it makes one realize how much we take our memories for granted because life without it would be sad, lonely, and scary. (to read more info on H.M. click here. to learn more about the video installation click here.)
back to the novel. i think why i lacked a connection to this work (and an indication of baldwin's great writing skill) was because victor was cold and distant. he was a very difficult character to sympathize with because he was cut off from everyone. all of his relationships seemed superficial (even his marriage) because he never was 100 percent there for the other person. i often became frustrated with him because he never seemed completely focused when interacting with others (this could also be a sign of his alhezimer's). he would balantly ignore others that were having conversations with him. it was rude and i could not imagine how his wife survived this or why regina put up with it. and sadly he was often forgiven for it because of his brilliance.
i will add that this book does hold a valuable lesson. it demonstrates that regardless of how brilliant a mind can be, our minds create biased or flawed memories. incidents in one's history may not have been accurately recorded by one's mind. victor thought he knew his wife but in fact he did not know her at all. and that is because at times we take bits and pieces of stories that better fit the perspective we want. when i think of all the arguments i have ever had, i can always restructure it so that i am the victim, even though i am the one at fault. every memory we have, which we may want to call capital t truth, is in fact something that has been framed by our perspective.
it's interesting because victor shares how he had an epiphany one day of how he and his best friend may have different perspectives of the world. this inspires him to study neuroscience, yet he is unable to apply it in his actual life. he can't understand how his actions effect others or understand others may have a different point of view from him. and as one becomes frustrated with victor's narrow-mindness, the reader discovers that they should strive to be more open-minded.
before i close, i will say that as i read this, i casted the movie version in my head (every book is turned into movies now). as i read about victor, i pictured colin firth especially scenes where he was in his lab. regina would be played by olivia munn (she kinda played regina in "magic mike"). and his wife would be rachel weisz.
as a special treat for reading this, i included a came victor played with his wife. they would describe a movie with just three sentence. i got the first two but can anyone help me with the last?
southern lawyer has a way with kids. can't get an innocent off the hook. boo.
vito shouldn't buy fruit. michael won't talk business. diane keaton?
men embark on spaceship. spaceship disembarks men. sorry, dave.
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