the unamericans. molly antopol. (198)

i first heard of the unamericans from my friend, lisa.  molly antopol is her friend's daughter, and lisa attended a book party for it.  then, i saw it listed on flavorrpill, so i decided to check it out.

as i mentioned before, 2014 has become the year of the short story for me and i can honestly say this is the best collection of short stories, i have read this year.  yes, i dare say, even better than lorrie moore, well bark, on par with self-help.  in fact, as i read, i had the same feelings of awe and love as i did when i read jhumpa lahiri's interpreter of maladies.  i, became invested in every single story, and each story felt complete.  i read somewhere that each story felt like a novel and that is an excellent description of the unamericans (sorry i feel bad for plagiarizing someone, but i honestly don't know where i read that, but i am letting you know it was not my original thought.)  but this collection was truly great, it will definitely be in the top 5 (it's currently in the top 3) greatest books i have read this year.

surprisingly i enjoyed every story in this collections.  usually, there is one that is awkward and you wonder why it was included, or one that ended too abruptly, or took an odd turned that ruined the story, but this was not the case.  every story was extremely well-written, as i mentioned before, i became invested in every character and their stories.

though there was not a bad story, i will admit that the opening to "retrospective", the final story, worried me.  i thought i was going to become bored, but luckily eva's daughter played a small role.  by the end, with the mention of eva's smile in her paintings, i knew this tale had a tragic ending.    

but again every story was enjoyable in their own way and i as i looked through to find my favorites, i want to list them all.  but i will narrow it down.  highlights for me were "my grandmother tells me this story", "the quietest man", and "the unknown soldier".

"my grandmother tells me this story" is exactly that a story told by a grandmother to a granddaughter that is meddling in things she is too young to be worried about.  the grandmother shared about how she escaped from a uniform factory in nazi-occupied poland and met a young boy who would become the young girl's grandfather.  the grandfather was the leader of a gang of boys, yiddish underground, and though they derail trains and steal, he has a moral compass and only took what was needed.  i do not want to give too much away, but in an attempt to prove herself, the grandmother does something that she regrets and that will haunt her forever.  it is a sad, tale but the one of the boundaries that humans were pushed to during the holocaust.

"the quietest man" is the story of a young playwright and her father.  the father was nervous because his daughter wrote a play about their family and since he was absent during her childhood, he was worried that it will reveal him as a deadbeat dad.  he did not want to be ridicule though he knew that it would be a true portrayal.  however, in the end it was revealed that the daughter's play is actually in tribute to him.  he was part of an anti-government movement in prague and he and her mother along with two others published a journal.  when he was called in for questioning, he did not reveal anyone's name thus earning the nickname "the quietest man."  his daughter hoping to make herself a part of this important event, asked him if she was there during the meetings of those in charge of the journal.  sadly, he lies to her, which broke my heart and just demonstrated what a horrible father he was.  ironically he should have just kept quiet.

"the unknown soldier" is the story of an actor that was blacklisted and served time during the mccarthy era.  he is fresh out of prison and wanting to reconnect with his son.  i won't go into too much detail (i feel like i did on that last one and i really want people to read this collection.)

i can't stress enough that this is the best collection of short stories i read this year.  antopol was national book foundation's 5 under 35 honoree.  she is very deserving of this title and i look forward to seeing more from her.

island of the blue dolphins. scott o'dell. (197)

i decided to finally read island of the blue dolphins because the 4th grade class i was subbing for had read it and their lesson plans included watching the movie and an compare and contrast essay.  since i never read it as a kid, (though grandma bea always tried to get me to read it.  she loved it.  she also wanted me to see the movie, which i never saw), i decided now was the perfect time. plus it helped with my newbery medal mission.

as you can see in the picture, i read an ebook version, but not just any ebook, but one that i checked out via the library!  i went out of town friday, so i didn't have time to go to the library to check it out on saturday.  i considered buying it for my kindle but didn't want to spend $4 when i know i could find a used paperback for $1 (what can i say, i'm cheap.) so i looked for it on overdrive (the app the library uses) and they had it!  so the island of the blue dolphins is the first ebook i checked out from the library.  exciting, i know!  i will always love a physical book but its nice to have ebooks as an option.

island of the blue dolphins is the incredible story of a young girl, karana, that survived on a island by herself for about 18 years.  it is based on an actual person.  prior to my reading, i learned from my friend julianna via her goodreads that the woman this story is based on his buried at the santa barbara mission.  i also learned from my friend thomas that the island of the blue dolphins is one of the channel island.  i am hoping i can take a books and landmarks picture for the island of the dolphins.

karana, was left on the island by herself after a group of aleuts lead by a russian explorer, killed her father and majority of the men from her tribe, after a dispute over payment.  the explorer and aleuts came for otter pellets and then tried to cheat the tribe out of their payment for the hunting.  karana's father was the chief, after his death, the new chief decided to sail to another island for the tribe to migrate too.  he sent ships and the tribe left, but after karana discovered her brother was not on the boat, she went back for him.  i love my little brother, but i don't know if i would be this brave.  she found her brother and they were left stranded together.  then sadly her brother was killed by wild dogs, which left her completely alone.

before i go on, i will add, that i felt there was a lack of emotion in this book.  there was no display of sadness when her father or brother died.  i mean there was big expression of her emotions due to these  these events, everything was stated very matter of fact.  karana, moved on with life rather quickly.  she did want to get revenge on the dogs but i just found it interesting that o'dell did not dwell on these events though they completed changed her life.

karana was extremely resourceful.  though it was forbidden, she had enough common sense to ignore the teachings of the tribe and created her own weapons.  i was also impressed with her ability to hunt and gather for herself.  if  was left on the island i would have died after a few days.  i actually would have probably drowned myself.  it was amazing to see what she endured and how she survived.  its even crazier when one realizes that this was based on an actual person and that woman lived off the land like she did for almost 20 years.  granted it wasn't that much of a change of life for her, unlike if it happened to someone today, but i mean the fact that she didn't go crazy from being by herself is what amazed me.

in the end, she is discovered by a priest and taken to live at the santa barbara mission.  if i was child, i would have been happy for her, but as an adult, i know what mission life entailed.  sadly, i learned via wikipedia that the real woman died after only seven weeks on the mainland.  

still an incredible story and a must read for all kids.

the movie on the other hand was a poor adaption.  i am actually shocked hollywood hasn't done a remake.  i mean that girl from that whale movie a while back would have been perfect. the movie cut out a lot of interesting parts like the elephant seals and devilfish.  i am assuming they were missing because they didn't have trained animals or the technology to fake it.   but yes a remake should happen that is truer to the book.  i am shocked after the success of "castaway", this wasn't made for an kid audience.  hmmm.  i wish i knew someone in hollywood to pitch this too.

all in all, read the book and avoid the movie.  the 4th grade class i subbed for voted this way as well.

fresh off the boat. eddie huang. (196)

i remember seeing fresh off the boat at barnes and noble when it first came out, but didn't considered reading it.  with that cover it seemed like something i should look into but i didn't give it much thought after that initial sighting.  

i then saw a trailer for the new abc series based on it.  here, watch it on youtube.

after seeing his mom's hair struggles,  i decided to check it out.

if you thought that trailer was hilarious, you have no idea what you are in with this book.  fresh off the boat is beyond amazing and definitely in my top 3 books i have read this year.  if i hadn't read americanah this year fresh off the boat would probably be number 1.  eddie huang is also my new celebrity chef obsession.  i could kick myself for not picking this book up when i first saw it.  if i had, i would have gone to baohaus on my last nyc trip, boo to me!

i feel like a loser and am not as hip as i think i am because i hadn't heard of eddie huang or baohaus prior to my reading of this book.  i have no idea how he was not on my radar.  he also has a shown on vice, fresh off the boat, (which the book and now abc series evolved from) which are his random, food-related adventures around cities.  eddie is like a younger, chinese, hip hop version of bourdain.  my facebook friend, che, told my friend danny about the vice show.  i looked it up and of course watched the episode with roy choi.  it was hilarious yet deep, i will definitely play catch up on that series.

back to the memoir.  to start fresh off the boat made me hungry.  the memoir opened with a story about soup dumplings and eddie's ability at a young age to recognize that the ones he and his family had were bad because of the cheap soy sauce the restaurants used.  and of course, all i could think about was how i wanted soup dumplings (but some legit ones, i need to have my friend joann take me!!)  the memoir covered chinese/tawianese  food; what is mother makes and from a trip to taipei he took when he was in high school.  he discussed staples like minced pork, tomato and eggs, and beef noodle, all of which made me hungry!!!!  to the point where i googled minced pork to see where i could get some (sadly i was in delano and the closest was bakersfield, i had to settle for the chinese food place we have in town, thankfully i didn't have to go with panda express.)  but yeah minced pork is on my to-eat list, if anyone has a place to recommend, let me know. 

the book has some great food-related stories.  i especially enjoyed the story, eddie shared of returning to a dan-dan mian cart with his father.  his father was part of a gang in taiwan.  he learned from the owner that though his father was a hoodlum, he was very moral (this was exemplified when eddie was punished for stealing).  eddie discovered that his father looked out for this cart owner and the owner did the same for him, and one day saved his father's life.  

another story, i enjoyed was the story of eddie on the food network's ultimate recipe showdown.  i need to look for it online.  he sadly didn't win because reality tv is a joke, but he was the best, everyone off set agreed so.  i loved how he came up with his recipe while stoned. actually the meat he cooked reminded me of something my grandpa used to make called red meat. and i love the irony of guy fieri encouraging eddie to not give up cooking.

it was great to read about how baohaus got started up.  again i could have kicked myself for not being in the know.  i mean i should have been more serious about moving to nyc back in 09, i could have found one of his craiglist listing.  oh well.  but definitely happy he found success and i can't wait to try baohaus on my next trip.

the book wasn't all food.  with a title like fresh off the boat, culture and race were discussed.  i enjoyed learning about his family history, especially his parents backstory.  his mother being the loudmouth and always speaking her mind and his dad's gang background.  though it was cruel, i have to admit that i thought his parents' put-downs of eddie and his brothers were hilarious.  it's wrong to laugh and their comments were borderline verbal abuse but they were funny and honest.  i mean i admired his parents for keeping it real but the physical abuse did go to far.  i understand why people spank their kids but his dad did border abuse, and like eddie i am glad that the police went to their home to at least lessen the beatings they got.  though eddie was bad and deserved some of them (i know its horrible to say a kid deserved an ass-whooping but sometimes they do.)

what shocked me the most about this memoir was eddie's compete honesty about all the trouble he got into growing up.  he put everything out there.  i mean i was a nerdy kid and so i was shocked to read about all he did.  he reminded me of my friend larry, i always said if we knew each other in high school we wouldn't have been friends, i was too much of a goodie two shoes.  but like eddie, my friend larry, got his shit together and became a better adult as should happen in life.  your younger years are for fucking around.

i was also shocked by how intelligent eddie is.  the guy went to law school!  his intelligence is demonstrated best when he discussed the racism he encountered in life.  from the kids in elementary school making fun of his lunches, up until his boss at the newspaper making a comment about his face.  i especially enjoyed learning about his teachers and professors gave him the tools he needed to be able to question the society and  recognize the racism that he was encountering.   his theories on race and stereotypes were well-written, articulate and revealed many truths.  it was refreshing because it was not something i was expecting.

fresh off the boat, not only schooled me on race but pop culture as well.  eddie is very much into hip-hop, and his memoir is filled with lyrics and thankfully footnotes for the unhip like me.  he is also into

sports, so i enjoyed those analogies as well.  it was also an eye opener for me in terms of sneakerheads and street culture.  i had to google to see what shoes he was talking about but they were very cool.  i also enjoyed the lesson on polo, i looked up the sweatshirt that he referenced.  it was a great lesson that subculture for me.  oh and it was definitely cool that he made those obama shirts!  i wish i knew about them cos i would have copped one.

as you can see this book covered a variety of topics:  food, race, culture, hip hop, sports, etc.  i mean it was highly entertaining and informative.  eddie huang is an amazing person, he is more than just a chef or fun tv personality.  he has a depth that i would not have expected.  i admire him immensely and can't wait until i get to eat baohaus!  and if you are going to read a book this year, make it this one.  you will laugh, you might cry, you'll have an ah-ha moment about racism in america and learn some hip hop lyrics as well.  oh and you will definitely get hungry!  lol

a wrinkle in time: the graphic novel. madeline l'engle and hope larson.

when i posted my old copy of a wrinkle in time on instagram, my friend joann informed me that a graphic novel version existed.  and of course, i had my mom and brother get it for me for christmas.  it sat on my bookshelf but after reading, when you reach me, which referenced it, i decided to give this a read in honor of children's book week.

a wrinkle in time is brillant and if you are trying to adapt it and make it into a graphic novel, your illustrations should be just as brillant.  i'm sorry hope larson, but i was very disappointed with the illustrations of the novel.  the illustrations were boring and unimaginative.  larson could have let her imagination run wild but sadly she didn't.  nothing was more incredible then what i imagined in my head as a fifth grader when i first read it.  the illustrations were really bad.  at one point, mr. murray didn't even look like a person but some weird octopus head, but not like cool pirates of the caribbean octopus head.  i wanted to see some crazy sci-fi illustrations but nothing.  it was really disappointing. 

also the book lacked meg's heart.  meg was really two-dimensional, literary and figuratively.  she just seemed awkwardly angry all the time.  i mean i know she was but there was more explanation in the novel that made you understand why she was the way she was.

i hate to be such a downer, but i wouldn't recommend this book, especially to someone that has never read it.  it frightens me that this book is out there because i see how kids love graphic novels nowadays (they are always the go-to book when the class i am subbing for goes to the library).  and it saddens me to think that these images will be what the kid sees as they read instead of what their imagination would conger on it's own.  the greatness of a wrinkle in time is that the reader is travels to other dimensions and planets, which allows their imagination a fun adventure, sadly this novel does away with that fun and takes away from the greatness of the novel.  i hate to be so harsh but with illustrations that boring, a child needs to read it the novel and create their own planet and dimensions!

the fun parts: stories. sam lipsyte (195)

this cover is too dark for a good picture. i'm sorry.  i picked up sam lipsyte's the fun parts because bj novak endorsed it on his instagram.  though i am heartbroken that he no longer follows me on there, i will continue to read the books that he recommends via it.  

i hadn't heard of lipyste prior to bj's post, but i learned from the front cover that he is a writer for time magazine and has written for the new yorker, the paris review and playboy.  a nice variety and make sense because his work is witty and very tongue-in-cheek.

the stories were very interesting and twisted.  i enjoyed "deniers", the story of a daughter of a holocaust survivor that wanted to connect with her father who refused to tell her about it.  in the end, she ended up dating an ex-nazi, in an attempt to help reform him. i enjoyed the premise of "the republic of empathy", it demonstrated six degrees of separation, how we are linked in life, though i didn't get the ending.  or maybe i just wasn't intelligent enough, maybe it's supposed to be that all humans are connected but in the end it doesn't save mankind, it just an odd series of coincidences.  so that story was actually very deep as well.  i liked the idea of the male doula and imagined morgan from the mindy project as the doulo.  i also enjoyed snacks and exploration of how shitty it is to be fat.  also it demonstrated of how violence and hate is really just self-hate.  

the rest of the stories were well written but not my cup of tea.  lipstye is a great writer as demonstrated by the list of publications he worked for.  i enjoyed his references post pop culture and literary.  my favorite one was from "the republic of empathy", "she has nice, soft-looking hair, which is a tell-me-about-the-rabbits-george thing to say, but what can you do?"  lol.  well played!

enjoyable read, didn't completely wow me, but since this is the year of the short story, glad that i read these.

a little princess. frances hodgson burnett.

a little princess was one of my favorite books as a child.  the 90s movie based on it was a favorite movie of mine, as well.  a little princess was on my to-reread list for three reasons:  1) it is on lena dunham's ideal bookshelf, 2) esperanza rising reminded me of it, and 3) i was kind of bored by the secret garden and wondered if i had made up my loving of a little princess as a kid.  i finally reread it when i discovered, may 12-18 was children's books week and thought a little princess would be the perfect way to celebrate!

it was a perfect celebration because i loved a little princess just as much as i did as a child, maybe even more.  quick summary, sara was a sweet and wealthy child that is sent to boarding school in london.  she had a very loving father, captain crewe that sent her away to be raised properly since they lived in india, her mother died when she was young.  her father indulged sara, he gave her everything her heart desired but sara wasn't a spoiled, unbearable. self-centered brat, in fact she was a well-mannered little princess (hence the title) that always thought of others.  sara had a decent time at boarding school where she was star pupil.   the headmistress was sadly jealous of her wealthy and of course there were mean girls, but sara befriended a pudgy girl, a young little monster that she pretended to be mother to, and a servant girl named becky. 

then sadly one day, sara's world is turned upside down.  on the day of her big birthday party, it is discovered that captain crewe died from stress of a business venture that had to do with diamond mines, leaving sara an orphan and penniless.  instead of being sympathetic, the head mistress is outraged that her star pupil was worth nothing especially considering all that she had just spent on her extravagant birthday party.  (i personally was disgusted by the head mistress' behavior, the poor child lost her father but all she cared about was her money!)  sara then became a servant at the school, since she was so intelligent her work included tutoring and running special errands.

since sara was raised so well by her father and had such a sweet spirit, though it was tough being a servant, it does not destroy her.  she used her imagination to make her living conditions more bearable.  she also befriended the rats that lived in the attic with her.

then one day a gentleman from indian moved in next door to the boarding school.  sara met his ram dass and his monkey. the ram dass then told the gentleman of sara and they begin to make sara's dreams come true by providing her with food and proper bedding and clothing.  the ram dass would sneak in while sara did her chores. one day the monkey ran into sara's window and she went next door to return him herself.  and then its is discovered that the gentleman was her father's business partner and he had been looking for her (he was searching for her in paris then russia when she happened to be next door the whole time!).  the diamond mines were real and she was rich!!!!  of course the head mistress heard and tried to make it seemed like she cared for sara but the ram dass and seen how sara was treated and told the gentleman.  in the end, sara lived happily ever after and was a real little princess.

okay, so the story cleans up a little too nicely at the end but it's a children's book.  sara was so caring and loving that you wanted her to have a happy ending.  it really is a lovely modernish fairy tale for girls and once that will remind them the truly rich are those girls of good character.

bartholomew and the oobleck. dr. seuss. (194)

i checked out bartholomew and the oobleck because it was a caldecott honor book.  i expected to be wowed by the pictures, they were great (you'll see below) but the story was better. i dare say this might be my favorite dr. seuss book.

bartholomew and the oobleck is the story of a king and his servant, bartholomew who helped saved the kingdom.  the king was bored by what fell from the sky, rain, sunshine, fog, and snow, and wanted something new to fall.  bartholomew warned him he was asking for trouble but one can't really argue with a king, so he summoned the king's magicians.  the magicians then created oobleck.

the oobleck started to fall from the sky.  the king was ecstatic and called on bartholomew to let the kingdom know today was a holiday.  however, bartholomew discovered that oobleck was actually a horrible substance, sticky and glued people to whatever they touched.  bartholomew ran around the castle trying to warn everyone but it is of no help because soon everyone is covered in oobleck.  he then found the king calling for help because he was stuck to his throne. the king was trying to remember the magic words to stop it and wanted bartholomew to call his magicians.  bartholomew would not be able to reach them because of the oobleck, so he suggested that the king use the magic words "i'm sorry" to stop the oobleck.  being the king, he was at first unwilling to apologize for it is a sign of weakness and very unkinglike.  in the end, the king apologized and the oobleck disappeared,   teaching everyone the power of an apology.

what a great story with a very important moral.  the life lesson is why this book is the tops when it comes to dr. seuss books.  i plan on reading this to my future kids.  if you haven't read it, make sure you do!

here are the pictures:  

(the fish from the cat in the hat!)

we have always lived in the castle. shirley jackson. (193)

the library book i checked out is kind of ho hum so thought i would share the over that penguin did for it recently:

eerie, right?  and perfect for the novel.

i picked up we have always lived in the castle because shirley jackson was flavorwire's author's club month selection for march.  though i feel flavorwire did a bad job of promoting the club, i never saw updates on their fb wall, i am glad they introduced this book to me.  (and yes i didn't read this until may, but in my defense, i had to wait for it from the library and then i didn't see any updates so it went lower on my to-read list.)

regardless, i am glad that flavorwire promoted this book because i would have never read it in my own.  i am not one for horror movies so horror books are not my thing either.  horror movies i don't watch partially because they are usually poorly written and the acting is normally the only truly scary thing.  however, horror books i avoid because i am scared of the ideas they will leave in my imagination.  for example i will never watch the series "american horror story" for fear that i won't be able to sleep at night.  i mean the "portlandia" skit of "american horror story" was almost too much for me.  i say i don't believe in ghost but i always freak myself out sometimes with thoughts of ghost.  so shirley jackson is definitely an author i would have overlooked.  however, i absolutely loved we have always lived in the castle, i was on the edge of my seat the entire time and became engrossed in the story.  

before i go on, i must warn you there are spoilers.  so if you have not read this book, i suggest you stop here and go read it.

we have always lived in the castle is the story of two sisters, constance and mary katherine (merricat) blackwood, that live in their family's home with their uncle julian.  the rest of their family is dead.  they live in seclusion, and as seen from merricat's weekly visits into the village, are hated by the outside world.  the reason for their seclusion is subtly and slowly revealed throughout the novel.

this novel was beautifully crafted by jackson,  it is not outright frightening but as bits and pieces are revealed in the slow build up to the climax, you are shocked and appalled by what has occurred.  the secrets of the family are cleverly revealed through a conversation with a nosy visitor.  constance, merricat, and uncle julian are the surviving members of a horrible homicide that occurred in their home.  one evening, the other members of the family, constance and merricat's father, mother, and brother and uncle julian's wife were poisoned, arsenic was put in the sugar bowl.  constance was the prime suspect but was acquitted.  

through foreshadowing, the reader knows who the culprit is though it is not said outloud until later as the climax of the work.  the pieces start to add up, merricat has this pagan/wiccan-ish view of the world, finding safety in words and turning objects into shields against evil, she is also not allowed to help with food prep, and lastly she was an unruly child that was sent to her room without supper on the night of the deaths.

though merricat is a little off, it isn't until cousin charles showed up that the reader sees what she was capable of.  the interesting thing is that though the reader knows merricat murdered her family, one is on her side during her confrontations with cousin charles.  in fact, i went ad far as wishing her to harm him.  which is kind of horrible but brilliant that jackson created this character that we know is crazy yet makes perfect sense.  does that then make me crazy?!?! 

cousin charles appeared to be a voice of reason at first but then showed his true colors brainwashing constance so he could get their money.  i was disgusted by cousin charles and glad that merricat saw through him.  i was outraged by the way he spoke of uncle julian, trying to put him in a home.  so though it was horrible that a fire was needed to rid the house of charles, i am glad it happen, though they did lose uncle julian.

in the end, the girls do find happiness.  they cut themselves off from the world, but not completely.  the village sees the error of their ways and bring the girls meals as forgiveness.  the girls also become a sort of urban legend.  to a certain extend, i wish they had ran off with their money and found happiness outside in the world, but in the end, their castle was their haven and i am glad they kept it.

we have always lived in the castle is a wonderfully written and very intriguing book.  once it gets started, i couldn't put it down.  even though i am still not one for horror, i do plan on reading more of shirley jackson's works, hopefully they don't give me nightmares.

taipei. tao lin. (192)

i forgot what inspired me to pick up taipei  but i did.  i have read other works by tao lin but wouldn't call myself a fan.  as i wrote in my post for his work richard yates, i am not sure how i feel about lin.  on one hand, i am never fully engaged in his work, i read it like i read things online, half-focused, but then he is pretty spot on when it comes to the hipster culture.

taipei, is another novel that is actually an autobiography that is framed as a novel (see: shelia heti's how a person should be?) which as i said before, thanks for the honesty but i can't help but feel cheated.  i mean why not just say it's a memoir?

in any case, in taipai, i discovered that tao lin did a shitload of drugs.  i mean a shitload.  and the sad part was that he did them because he felt like he functioned better in the world with them.  to quote the ever wise cher horowitz (which i think i have quoted before for this blog) "it is one thing to light up a doobie at a party, but it's quite another to be fried all day."  doing the occasional drug is kosher in my book but i can't imagine to the point of recklessness that lin did, having memory loss and vomiting all over union square from snorting too much heroin.  though in lin's defense he wasn't too fucked up because he did keep his google document of notes and of course all the videos which helped him create this work.  i am assuming all of the videos were real, i tried to look up the mcdonalds one but saw on his website the listing of the MDMA videos under his work.  i mean in the end he was able to do all of those drugs, not die, and still created a novel. so kudos to him.

but i mean reading about someone on drugs gets old quickly which resulted in my half-focus as a i read.    because in the end, regardless of how interesting these moments were to lin and his friends, they are all "you had to be there moments" for everyone else.  i have often thought that my life could be a tv series (after seeing mtv's "my life as liz") or a novel, well maybe more a collection of short stories, but i feel like i can never recreate the magic of what happen to me because for it to truly be great, you had to be there.  i could describe it but it was only truly worthwhile in that moment.  taipei was just one big, you had to be there story.  paul and erin's filming of tawian's first mcdonalds was great but i am sure it was 100% funnier if you were on drugs and there.  the same can be said for the #xmenlivetweet, i can imagine how incredible it all was for lin but to read it secondhand it wasn't all that amazing.  and i know because i have had ridiculous drunken (not drugged) incidents like lin, but i recognize that i am the only one that truly gets their magic.  like all the times i have snuck booze into the theater, for example my friend cody and i took in a bottle of rum when we went to see "pirates of caribbean" and i turned to him and in what i thought was a whisper asked for the rum, only for him to knock over the bottle and everyone heard the clank of the rum bottle.  or the time that my friends larry, peter and i went to see "jackass" and drank too much, and i had to pee so i decided to run out during an old person skit, and i ran straight into the mens room, apologized to a man peeing and bolted out the door while the concessions stand workers just stood their and laughed at my dumbass.  hilarious but would people want to read it?  my version of taipei would be called cahuenga and would be all about the drunken fun my friends and i had on cahuenga blvd circa 2008-2010.  but i mean other than my friends, who would anyone truly appreciate it or get it?  i mean lin has his celebrity clout to keep his readers reading but i am a nobody.

oh and before i drop all the drug talk (though it is like the defining theme of the novel), i did appreciate the irony of paul's disgust with erin taking prescription drugs.  erin started taking a pill as prescribed by her doctor and paul lectured her on not needing it and her becoming dependent on it.  this fight then escalated to the point in which paul left.  it was brilliant because the druggie recognizes the harms of prescription drugs.  society condones the recreational use of drugs yet drug companies are constantly trying to fix ailments that a) either don't exist or b) manageable without drugs.  i mean the number one side effect of most prescription drugs is death.  might as well take drugs for fun then.

though i have to add lin does not believe in drug problems as seen in this excerpt:

“They began talking about a Lil Wayne documentary that focused on Lil Wayne’s “drug problem,” which Lil Wayne denied. Paul felt it was bleak and depressing that the filmmakers superimposed their views onto Lil Wayne. Calvin seemed to agree with the documentary. Paul tried, with Erin, who agreed with him, he felt, to convey (mostly by slowly saying variations of “no” and “I can’t think right now”) that there was no such thing as a “drug problem” or even “drugs” – unless anything anyone ever did or thought or felt was considered both a drug and a problem – in that each thought or feeling or object, seen or touched or absorbed or remembered, at whatever coordinate of space-time, would have a unique effect, which each ever-changing person, at each moment of their life, could view as a problem, or not, for themselves.”

this is an interesting reasoning, everythinf outside of this notion of "self" is essentially a "drug" because it has some effect on us.  so i guess drugs really aren't a problem just another stimuli of life.

aside from drugs, there is also paul's relationship with erin, his wife.  i still don't know how that marriage happen though i will say i have, at least twice, tried to get two sets of my friends to marry when we were in vegas.  sadly it didn't happen both times.

erin and paul's relationship interested me because it reminded me of my best friend and i during my cahuenga years (maybe i should write this book).  we had alot of fun together but we also had these random fights.  my friend was also passive aggressive like paul, expecting someone to read his mind when he was upset instead of communicating or saying he wasn't upset when he was.  but part of the issue for us was just like erin and paul was that most of the fights happen when we were really drunk so that caused alot more drama than was necessary.  for me, it was interesting because i didn't know how authentic paul and erin's feelings truly were, everyone likes to believe there is more honesty when one is on drugs but at the same time your mind is so fucked that it might be true but it's definitely askewed. in the end, it just demonstrated how drugs can ruin relationships in addition to people.

as i mentioned earlier, lin is spot on when it comes to hipster culture.  i will admit that i loved the random asking of "do you like rilo kiley?" (for these that are curious, i do).  i also loved that marina abramović's "the artist is present" was mentioned because i sat with her for that piece.  goodreads was also namedropped though i don't think it's hipstery, i just use it.  but i guess everything felt very relevant but then again it was just his life.

i read it, not sure i would recommend it but at least i can say i read it.  which i guess is the point of reading tao lin.

bark: stories. lorrie moore. (191)

bark is the third book i have read by lorrie moore for my personal goal of reading all of her books.  it is also moore's most recent book.  and though i am not familiar with her entire catalog, so far this is my least favorite.  i didn't enjoy this collection of short stories as much as i did self-help and birds of america.  the stories are melancholy, but then again my favorite story in birds was, so i am also going to blame it on age.  moore's characters are divorced or in trial separations, or struggling to connect to their teenage kids or connecting too well.  i couldn't relate to them because i haven't been through their life experiences (btw, i need to google but with all of the divorcees in this book, i wonder if moore went through one.)  though i must admit that that wasn't the complete problem for the most part i felt that moore's witty that i enjoyed in her previous works was missing in this one.

i will give her kudos for the clever title.  bark, a multiple meaning word, is utilized in every story somehow.  my favorite use of bark was in the last story, thank you for having me, in which it is explained that the bark of the brain (which does look like bark) is grey but the inside is white.  i never knew that the outside of layer of the brain was called bark! 

of all the stores, i enjoyed "the juniper tree" the most.  it is the story of woman who does not visit her friend, robin, on the eve of robin's death.  i was disappointed with that character for not going, it was extremely selfish of her to not put forth the effort.  as result of her not seeing robrin before she died, she then has a dream in which she is reunited with robin's ghost.  an obvious display of her needing to settle her conscience.  the exchange with the robin's ghost and the friends was odd.  however, what stood out for me was the story at the end.  the woman shared how she visited robin at her home one day and when she left, robin smashed her own face into a pie.  robin explained "i always wanted to do that, and now i have."  i admired robin for that, you have to do what you want in life regardless of how silly or messy it might be.  better to live than to regret.  this story is also dedicated to nietzchka keene, who i hope did the pie thing in real life.

and i guess the overarching theme of bark is regret.  all of the characters are dealing with some form of regret and guilt.  and i guess moore wants us to know that is tarnishes the soul, which explains why i found these stories depressing.   one of moore's characters addressed regret directly in the story, "subject to search". the story is a conversation between a spy and his lover before he leaves for a mission.  i didn't find the story particularly interesting but there was a great quote in the flashback at the end of the story.  at a christmas party when the spy and his lover were still with their spouses (actually they might still be with them), the woman tells the spy "unless you have a life of great importance . . . regrets are stupid, crumpled-up tickets that has already left town."  and i think this is the heart of this collection.  we are to see the errors of the characters and their regrets and learn to not regret and to move out.  all of these individuals are stuck somehow and holding onto something that can now never be realized and instead of moving on, they simply stay wallowing in their regret.  though i should clarify that i think moore wants us to regret what we never did not regret what we have done.  we should hit ourself with the pie and regret, not regret that we never hit ourself with a pie.  actually maybe instead of a divorce, moore just went through a mid-life crisis like the gentleman in the first story.

in this light, i appreciate the life lesson that moore is expressing but at the end of the day, i just wasn't entertained by her stories.  

other than the brain bark, the circus/regret quotes, the only other entertainment i found was in foes, the exchange between the elderly couple in the story: 

"let's make a dash for it now!"

"let's scream 'fire!'"

"let's fake heart attacks!"

"do you have any pot?"

"we flew here--remember? i wouldn't bring pot on an airplane."

"we're losing our sense of adventure. in all things."

"this is an adventure!"

"you see, that's what i mean."

how great is that?  that is the moore wit i love but was absent in this book.  i mean maybe i will read it in 15 years and i will be in tears but right now, it wasn't for me.  but i will take the pie lesson to heart and do what i always want to do.

oh and ps i was totally grossed about by the mom and son in debarking.  ewwwwww.