the heart goes last. margaret atwood. (323)

the heart goes last is the first book of margaret atwood that i have read.  i know as a feminist i should really read the handmaid's tale, and it's been on my to-read list, but haven't made it happen.  i decided to put myself on the wait list for this work, assuming it would be a while before my turn came around, but i got it quickly. 

i wasn't sure what to expect from atwood.  i know she is a sci-fi writer and that isn't a genre i would consider my self a fan of.  however, everyone was excited about it online, so i decided to give it a try.  i was pleasantly surprised by how much i enjoyed this work.  to start, i had no idea what the book was about, from the cover it looked as if it was about prison like in the future we would all be prisoners.  and i guess this could a great one sentence summary.

the heart goes last is set in a distant future in which the economy has collapsed and the middle and lower classes are left to live in their cars and rummage for food and money.  the upper class have not been effected and still have wealth.  the novel is about a married couple, stan and charmaine, tired of living out of their car and scared of the crime that could occur.  they decided to sign up to live in consilience, a project based on the prison system.  since prisons create jobs and help sustain a community (i know i live in a town with two prisons), members of this community live as a prisoner for one month and then live outside as a civilian for next, and alternate back and forth.  they are given jobs both in and out of the prison.  they share homes with alternates that are in prison when they are home and vice versa.  they are not suppose to communicate with their alternates.

however, charmaine had an affair with her alternate and this caused a series of events to unfold because the man's wife was a woman that worked in surveillance and was assistant to the head of the project. using the affair as a cover, she then pressured stan into helping her stop the project by taking information into the outside world.  it turns our that the project originally was an actual prison and they began to kill off prisoners that were disobedient and harvested them for body parts.  this business started to become lucrative business, and so they started killing of people.  in addition to this, their biggest export were sex bots, which then lead to them operating on brains so that the first thing a person saw post-opt they imprinted on and basically became their sex slaves.  stan was to expose all of this, but to get him into the outside world, he had to fake his death by charmaine killing him.  

sounds like an exciting book, yes?  well it was until the end.  there was all this great build up but then it was like atwood wasn't sure how to end it.  there was some mission that took place in vegas which reminded me of ocean's 11.  and the outside world learned of what was occurring but unsure if anything really stopped.  and the head of the project turned into a sex slave due to the operation. charmaine had the same operation and imprinted on stan, only to learn that she never had the operation.

this twist at the end felt odd, and i wondered what atwood wanted us to take from it.  that love is not real but a construct of our minds like everything else in life. that the heart does goes last but not due to love but because it is a muscle and simply is the last to complete its function.  it feels cold for an ending but seems true.  we place all this emphasis on following your heart, but really your heart is guided by your brain, so it's your brain all along!

another lesson could be that of obedience, in which today especially, we so blindly follow what is presented to us that we don't question it and just believe.  so many times i see individuals post articles on facebook, only for me to google and find they are not true.  it reminded me of the study in which people were instructed to shock individuals and though they knew it was wrong, they did it since an authority figure instructed them to do so.  the members of the community worked in this prison and just followed instructions without realizing what they were actually contributing to.  this leads to the usual lesson of futuristic tales to question your government and to not conform.

lastly, since the story centered around prisons it reminded me of the stanford experiment.  that study dealt with the conforming of roles to that of authority and inferior.  though there did not seem to be any abuse of authority within the prison, we did see it from wife in surveillance.  since the prison was set up as a business, i wonder if atwood's critique would be that of how we criminalize individual to sustain this business, which i would counter, i have seen these prisoners after their release and they deserve to be there.  i will say it is horrible the amount of funds that is put into our prison system, especially in california, and if atwood was advocating that i am with her.  i will have to google to see what she says on the matter.

all in all, a great novel with a weak ending but definitely worth reading. 

barbara the slut and other people. lauren holmes. (321)

i decided to read barbara the slut and other people, after seeing it all over instagram. also, i loved that the cover had slut in hot pink sprayed painted across it.  it looked a feminist manifesto!  and since i judge books by a cover, i had high expectations, and sadly this collection of short stories did not meet them.

i hate to be mean because holmes is a published writer and i am just some no name reader, but these stories didn't move me like the blurbs on the books claimed would happen.  i felt as if i was part of some writers workshop (see:  hbo girls season four). in fact, it was as if holmes was hannah, basically just writing her life.  don't get me wrong, i mean i get that all authors use their life as a basis for the life, but at least there seems to be some value other than just the story.  

barbara the slut read like that one co-worker's random life stories, it was interesting to her, but you are wondering as you listen to the recounting, so what is the point of this story?!??  and i know this sounds harsh, but i just felt the stories lacked any real depth.  it really felt like she just took incidents from her life and turned them into stories, which is fine, but just wasn't for me.  i mean i have always thought of doing just that but always figured the stories that no one else would find them interesting. 

i should also say that not all the stories are horrible, i did enjoy two of them.  the title story "barbara the slut" should be required reading for high school girls, though maybe edit out barbara's logic about sleeping with a guy only once to have to not deal with trust issues.  i should add that was a huge issue i had with the story, barbara was intelligent and a compassionate kid (she was helpful with her autistic brother), yet her logic about sex was horrible.  anyway, i did appreciate its lesson on slut shaming, mean girls need to read this and realize they need to stop hating on other girls.  and why can't they get that boys lie?!?! anyway, i felt bad for barbara, but luckily she was heading to college, so wouldn't have to deal with any of the pettiness of high school, though i hope she learned that sex with trust is a real thing.

another story, i was surprised that i really enjoyed was "my humans".  i was surprised, because i do not like dogs, but i loved reading a story from the perspective of a dog.  i thought that was very clever.  way to go, holmes.  i also loved that the dog discovered the cheating first, when jenna came home smelling different.  i have to add once a cheater, always a cheater.

a couple of other thoughts, that kid in "jerks" was a real jerk.  i also hate parents that are in denial about their kids being horrible.  though the mother in that story was a jerk, so its only logical that she was raising one.  i can add another horrible parent was the mom in  "i will crawl to raleigh if i have to", trying to blame her child's stealing on another kid.  really?  i have to add most of these stories had bad mothers, wonder what holmes is trying to say there?

last but not least, i know i should have been all about "desert hearts", a lawyer that gives up the corporate world to work in a sex shop posing as lesbian.  i mean i guess it could have been cool, but really i think the world has revolved enough that straight people can work in LGBT sex shops without it being an issue.  i mean, this would have been a cool story if it was like the early 90s.

i hate to be a hater, but though enjoyable this book wasn't as exciting as it's front cover claimed it would be.

brooklyn. colm tóibín. (320)

i picked up brooklyn because i had seen advertisements for the movie based on it all over goodreads. and given the title and my hipster tendencies, i decided to check it out.  it had to be about williamsburg, right?!?  lol. wrong.

brooklyn tells the story of a young irish girl, eilis that immigrated to america in the early 1950's.  unable to find work in ireland, eilis' sister arranged for her to move to brooklyn and live in a home for irish girls that had immigrated. eilis moved out on her own and dealt with the issues of adjusting to a new country and being on her own.

i really wanted to love this novel, given the setting and that it is historic fiction, but i didn't get completely lost in the story.  i admired eilis for her independence, especially considering it was the 1950s.  she moved to a country on her own, supported herself with a job in retail.  at her job, she did not discriminate against african-americans when the store she worked for being to sell stockings for them.  when she began dating, she dated outside of her ethnic group, dating an italian.  she also did not suppress her sexuality and had premarital sex.  as a feminist, i would name eilis as one of my book sheros, but i wasn't on board for her love story.

her love story goes that she fell in love with an italian boy named tony.  everything was going well when her sister suddenly died due to a heart condition.  upon her returning to ireland to visit her family, she and tony secretly married.  upon her return to ireland, since she had been to america, her status was different.  instead of being a social outcast, everyone was interested in her.  eilis then began to be courted by a man that had previously ignored her, jim.  eilis was then caught in a dilemma, she could stay in ireland, live a comfortable life with jim, and take care of her mother.  or she could return to tony.  in the end, she was confront by a woman she used to work for that was going to expose what she had done and so she returned to brooklyn and tony.

i have to admit i thought she should have stayed in ireland, but to each their own.  i guess she ultimately chose the life with the most freedom.  there is a parallel there.  anyway, though enjoyable the story didn't grip me.  i mean i am not sure why they turned it into a movie.  however, i will see it because nick hornby adapted the screenplay and i love

him!

the thing about jellyfish. ali benjamin. (318)

i picked up ali benjamin's the thing about jellyfish because it is national book finalist in the young adult category.  i wasn't sure what the story was about, but liked the title and figured since it was nominated, it should be good.  and it was.

the thing about jellyfish was the story of a young girl, suzy, that recently lost her best friend.  the lost was sudden, her best friend, franny, died on a beach, her heart just stopped.  as a result, suzy went mute a couple of months after her friend's death.  losing a best friend is difficult at any age, but to have lost your best friend at 12, is even more difficult.   however, age isn't the only factor, as it is slowly revealed, franny and suzy had grown apart.  franny had become one of the "cool" yet mean girls, and their last incident was when suzy froze pee and put it inside franny's locker.  suzy was never able to apologize and this guilt only add to her difficulty to cope.

frozen pee was extreme, but when suzy explained her reasoning for it, it made sense, though it was still awful.  suzy was a socially awkward kid, i actually read her as autistic, but when i googled to see if that was the intent of the author, i can not find anything on it.  i assumed that she was because it was noted when she was younger on a report card that she wasn't adapt at making friends.  also, the way that she fixated on subjects ie jellyfish, i assumed that she was autistic.  however, i mean everyone is awkward at that age, so that could be it as well.

so the thing about jellyfish in this novel is that suzy became fixated on the theory that franny died after being stung by an irukandij jellyfish.  her obsession about the jellyfish fueled by her need to understand what happen to her friend.  the novel (which i absolutely loved) was set up like a science project with the following sections:  purpose, hypothesis, background, variables, procedure, and results, and we see suzy test her theory and ultimately come to terms with the lost of her friend. i have to add that the novel is also very informative, i learned alot about jellyfish and other great facts.  for example, that the average middle school student has about 20 billion atoms from shakespeare, which means that suzy has some of franny's atoms, and we have atoms of any of the people that we lost.  (what a great lesson for kids to learn when dealing with a loss.)

i also loved how in the end, suzy found friends that understood her and didn't think she was "weird".  

this novel is really great and i highly recommend it, especially if you have a young reader.  it is helpful not only with grieving the loss of a love one, but also helpful with those awkward years.  it shows kids that we are all a little weird, and that you will find friends that will love you for who you are. 

nimona. noelle steveson. (319)

i checked out noelle stevenson's nimona after seeing it listed as a national book finalist in the young adult category.  since i liked lumberjanes, i decided to check it out.  

nimona is the story of nimona, a spunky, girl with the ability to shift shapes that becomes the sidekick of the evil villian, ballister blackheart.  ballister was not really looking for a sidekick, and though she proves to be more than he bargained, he grows to love her.  this book is delightful because nimona is witty, always ready with a great one-liner and always up for adventure, though she usually its up destroying more than helping.  though she would argue that her role as a villain calls for her to destroy.

this comic is great because though it started off as a tale of evil vs good, it proves that is not how the world always works.  as it turns out, ballister, the evil side has a higher morale than the good side, the institution.  the institution that is suppose to protect the people is actually working to destroy them and nimona and blackheart inadvertently help save everyone when they seek to destroy the institution.  

in addition to this there is another storyline woven into the mix, blackheart and his archenemy, goldenloin.  at the beginning, they hate each other, but in the end they became friends, possibly lovers, if you read it that way.

i am glad i picked up this book.  first, it has a great female character, which young girls need!  second, it teaches kids the importance of questioning the current systems, we have in place.  third, it demonstrates that not all good is good and not all evil is evil.  fourth, it proves that the most important thing in life is to have good friends and to care for one another.  fifth, if you read it that way, heroes are not just homosexuals.  

a great comic and i look forward to reading more about nimona (i hope stevenson has more in store for her.)  

the witch of blackbird pond. elizabeth george speare. (317)

after seeing the goosebumps movie, i went looking for goosebumps books at the library.  unfortunately, they didn't have any, but fortunately the word witch caught my eye, so i decided to check out the witch of blackbird pond.  though it wasn't exactly the kind of horror show i was looking for halloween, it was a wonderful book!

sadly, i never read the witch of blackbird pond, as a kid, but glad i did as an adult. set in the 17th century, the novel tells the story of a young girl, kit.  after the death of her grandfather, she left barbados to live with her aunt and her family in a colony in connecticut.  in barbados, kit lead a life of luxury, but she must adjust to the spartan life style of the purtians. god and work lead life and kid initially has a difficult time adjusting.

the witch part of the books comes when kit befriended the town's "witch", hannah tupper, who lived by blackbird pond.  hannah was a quaker and since their beliefs did not align with that of the purtians, she and her husbands were branded and sent from their previous town.  the people of kit's colony, regarded her as a witch, and people were forbidden to interact with her.  one day, kit sad about getting her cousin  mercy in trouble, ran out toward the pond crying.  hannah took her in and gave her advice. kit, then began visiting hannah regularly, after learning her friend, nate from her voyage to america, was hannah's friend as well.  

things started to go well for kit, the wealthiest boy in colony, wanted to marry her.  she and mercy continue with their school.  however, it all fell apart when kids began to get sick and die and hannah was blamed. kit helped hannah escape only to end up on trial for being a witch!

in the end, it all worked out because hey, this is a children's novel.  there was even a double wedding kind deal and a third engagement, which i found odd, but it was a different time.

this book is a must read for any and every girl.  kit is a wonderful role model for girls, she goes to the beat of her own drum, regardless of the scrutiny of others.  kit, also, has a heart of gold and demonstrates we should always do what is right versus what religion or society may tells us.

this book also gives an important lesson religious tolerance.  someone may not have the same beliefs as us, but that does not make them evil.  also organized religious can do a lot more harm then good when corrupted by those wanting power.

lastly, this book is a great introduction to the topic of the salem witch trials for kids.  it got me interested in the topic and i plan on reading more about these crazy accusations.  it was shocked with the novels initially introduction of witch like behavior. not seemed so silly for people to freak out because kit can swim.  no one was logical and assumed she could because it was customary in barbados.  furthermore, it was crazy to see the accusations that came up in trial, people accused of bewitching animals?!?! i know it made me grateful to have not been born in that era, because i would have definitely been labelled a witch!  it's sad though to think of the women that were burned at stake or drowned on these false accusations. 

this book is a truly great read and a must for everyone, especially women of all ages! 

one more time. carol burnett. (315)

i decided to read one more time after reading about carol burnett's life in gumption.  offerman discussed burnett growing up poor and on welfare, something that surprised me.  the bibliography mentioned her memoir and so i put in a request.

as i may have discussed earlier, i spent one summer, home on vacation, watching the carol burnett show.  my grandma said she used to love it and so i started to watch reruns and of course fell in love.  i didn't become a fanatic but did spend that summer loving her show.  my grandma also shared how she would give her ear a tug to say hello to her family.  

with how successful burnett is, i was surprised to learn about her childhood on welfare.  i would have never thought of her as having such humble beginnings but burnett is a true example of the american dream.

burnett's home life growing up reminded me of my own.  we both had absent fathers though hers was an alcoholic, and we were both very close to our grandmothers.  her being her grandma's shadow reminded me of my grandma bea.  i wasn't as clingy as burnett, but i also did everything with my grandma and had anxiety over the idea that she would die when i was little (both of our grandmothers lived into our adulthood).  

burnett was under the care of her grandmother because her mother had moved out to hollywood.  her mother was in and out of work and later on in carol's life suffered from alcoholism as well.  due to her parents lack of employment and disease, her grandma and she were on welfare. though poor, burnett's childhood was exciting.  she and her grandmother moved out to hollywood.  it was interesting to read about her live in hollywood and picturing the streets and corners she talked about.    it was fun to read about her growing up and being a teen in hollywood. 

this memoir covered burnett's life up to her big break into the entertainment industry, but it's was sprinkled with stories from her recent life. sharing how people from her past reappeared.  i like the story of her giving a grandmother and her granddaughter $50 to take a cab after she saw them waiting for a bus and was reminded of waiting with her grandma and how much she hated the bus.  i also liked when one of the popular girls from high school came to carol's table at dinner to say she was a fan and didn't remember carol from high school.

the other tales that stand out where how she was truly lucky when it came to her success.  for example, she had applied to UCLA but could not afford the tuition. however, on the day her fees were due, $50 showed up in her mailbox, with her name on it, but no return address.  thanks to this surprise, she went to UCLA.  also, i had no idea she was a fellow bruin!

another great story was her benefactor. after performing in honor of one of her mentors, she spoke with a man about her future plans.  she explained that she needed to be in new york to make it big, and he asked what was stopping her and she explained money.  he then set up a meeting with her later in the week.  at the meeting, he loaned her $1000 to be paid back in 5 years.  with she moved to new york, struggled a bit, but as we know made it!  her benefactor never was named, but as we learned in a story, was very proud of her success.

it may seem like luck, but burnett wouldn't be as successful if she wasn't such a hard worker.  she was determined to make it and took chances and due to it became the wonderful comedienne genius that she is!  

this memoir was a delight and i look forward to reading her other one.  i have to add this memoir reminded me of the importance of persevering our own stories.  this memoir was written for her kids to know her life story, which is something everyone should do.  

days that i'll remember: spending time with john lennon and yoko ono. jonathan cott. (314)

i picked up jonathan cott's days that i'll remember: spending time with john lennon and yoko ono, after reading nick offerman's yoko ono profile in his work, gumption.  cott's work was listed as a reference and as a further reading on more about yoko, so i decided to check it out.

as i mentioned in the gumption post that i adore yoko ono.  yes, i did hate her for a while due to rumors that she broke up the beatles, and once i discovered her art, my opinion changed.  i'm not sure when i first learned of her art, but remember being amazed by the performance piece, in which she allowed members of the audience to cut away her dress.  if you know me, i am all about participation in art and this piece, i found profound because its interesting to see how people cut, whether they were timid or aggressive, if they cut away a lot or a little.  if her art was this cool, no wonder john fell for her.  the first interaction i ever had with her art was wish tress in pasadena.  i always said when i finally have a home of my own, i will set up a wish tree for my guest to leave wishes on.

back to the work.  i will start by saying that had times, i didn't want to know about what was going on with cott, but what was going on with john and yoko, but then i realized that if i knew them, i course i would write about myself.  and of course, it is about his time hanging out with them, so i shouldn't be so judgmental.  cott also interviewed lennon three days before his death and that is interview is in here as well.  cott explained how after lennon's death, he couldn't bear to listen to the tapes so hit them away. however, when rolling stone was doing an anniversary issue, he looked for the tapes to share.

the reason i picked up this book was to learn about yoko, but of course, john was the primary focus in this case, which is understandable.  he's john lennon.  however, to be completely honest, i didn't enjoy his interviews, because at times he came off as pompous.  but it isn't his fault, we search for answers to life from our celebrities when really they are just people.  i mean he spoke truth when it came to peace and love and life, but other times i was like really john?  what are you talking about?  but i guess the same thing goes on with kanye west for me today.  i love his music, but he doesn't always articulate himself that well, i think the same was for john lennon.  he is only human and not everything he said needed to be certain.  there was one thing that lennon shared that i found very profound.  he shared how there are only two people he has chosen to collaborate with and that paul mccartney and yoko ono.  he brought paul to the quarrymen, paul brought geroge, and george brought ringo, but it was only paul that john initially sought.  that is some food for thought.

and one last thing about the beatles, as john shared, if you listen to the white album, they are no longer the beatles, but in fact, four individuals artist with a back up band.  and this is the reason for the break up.  it was not due to yoko.  there was a story shared about how ringo felt excluded, but when he went to the other beatles, they expressed the same feeling.  this story also went on to share how octopus's garden came to be, when having squid, the captain of a boat shared with ringo about how octopi would take shiny rocks and put them in front of their caves like a garden! cute story huh, though ringo did share how a couple of tokes helped him out as well.

but back to yoko.  i really read this to learn about her.  first off, i have to share with a strong spirit, she had.  when she and john got together, she was had to deal with a very harsh backlash by everyone, her looks, and race were criticized.  for her to have endure that demonstrates what a strong spirit she has.  not to mention the fact that the love her life was murdered and she still continues on and shares his message of peace and love.

though i had read about it in offerman's work, it was nice to read about how they met at an exhibit of yoko's art.  i loved how either one hadn't heard of each other, yet it was great to see how john got yoko's art.  for example, john wanted to hammer a nail in the piece painting to hammer a nail and since the show wasn't open yet, yoko said no.  the art dealer told her to let him because he was a billionaire and could buy the piece.  yoko then offer to sell him an imaginary hammer and nail.  john found that clever!  this section then went on to describe other works by yoko ono, which i had the privilege of seeing at the moma at her recent show.  though sadly i didn't get to touch any of the pieces.  

though i am a big fan of yoko and john as a couple, i will say i was a little upset about their cheating on their spouses.  both were married, the first time they had sex.  granted then ended up divorcing, it was kind of disappointing to see that their love came with infidelity.  (i know i'm so old fashioned!)

(quick john story, i really dug his piece for "you are here".  he tagged balloons and set them free.  the balloons were tagged, so that they would be mailed back to him.  it was inspired by a time he found a tag balloon from australia.)

i thoroughly enjoyed reading about her avant-garde pieces for example whisper piece, which was like a game of telephone in which every member of the audience participated and the last person went on stage just for yoko to say, "don't tell me".  my favorite was her first public solo concert that took place at carneigie rectial hall and it all had to do with silence and darkness.  it focused on what we think we hear when it's quiet and what we see when it's dark.  she did things like put live crickets around the theater.  she had a person stand in the bathroom, to give off that fright of someone else being in the room. i found it very clever and interesting.  i also loved that she shared about her bag piece because i participated in that when i went to the moma.   it was really great to read about her art.  it was also interesting to read about how influenced she is by the sky, especially since the new piece she had for the moma, was a single stairway up to the top of ceiling of the moma, where it was window and you could see the sky.  her art is amazing.  

it was also interested to learn about her background.  she is the descendant of an emperor.  she does have a very privileged background, but also suffered due to the bombings of world war II.  i enjoyed reading about her first memory which was a recurring dream she had.  she was in a cave when a tiger appeared and roared, and then she went through a tunnel and was in a hospital room.  she believes it to be a memory of her birth.  really, how cool is she?!?

i really enjoyed this book because i was able to learn more about yoko ono.  hopefully, she will write a memoir.  i have to check to see if there are biographies on her.  i really would love to learn more about yoko the artist then yoko, john lennon's wife.

just kids. patti smith. (313)

patti smith's just kids has been on my to-read list forever.  i even have a copy of it on my kindle.  however, i never got around to reading it, even thought everyone was raving about it when it first came out.  however, with her new book m train, coming out, i decided it was time for me to finally read just kids.

i hate to admit this, but i'm not familiar with any of her music.  i do know that her first album is horses. and i did hear her once at the santa monica pier for a free concert (we were on the beach, so i didn't see her).  sadly, i can't name one of her songs, nor recognize any.  actually, i can recognize, "because the night", but that is only because my boss played it for me once, when i told her i was reading this memoir.

even with a lack of music knowledge, and i apologize, because i know it makes me a total poser, but i absolutely loved this memoir and adore patti smith.  so much so that i got a ticket to see her talk next month for lapl's aloud series.  her story is amazing and she has such a beautiful spirit, one can not help but love her after reading this work.

oh and i have another faux pas, i didn't know who robert mapplethorpe was prior to reading this as well.  i know i am an terrible soul.   i did enjoy learning about his life and work in this memoir.  though i have to admit i'm not sure i would have the stomach for some of his s&m photography.  though i loved the tie rack that he had made for patti, it was beautiful.  i am sure i would have loved his necklaces, as well.

what i loved most about "just kids" was that patti smith was in new york during a very exciting time.  this memoir is filled with incredible stories.  patti and robert lived at hotel chelsea. prior to this work, i only knew it as the place were sid stabbed nancy, but it has a richer and less graphic history.  the people that she ran into while living in that hotel was incredible.  i loved reading about her interactions with william s. burroughs and salvador dali at the chelsea hotel.  and it's crazy because majority of the people she mentioned in her stories are people that i admire and think of as living in the past, but really it was not that long ago, i mean dali was alive during my lifetime.  granted, 6-year-old me was not a fan of his work when he died, it's odd to think we were on the earth at the same time.  this type of realization is what made patti's adventures in new york, so exciting for me.  the same went with her and robert's visits to max's kansas city and hanging out with people from warhol's factory.  what a cool scene to be apart of, though patti never felt she belonged until she got her keith richard's hair cut.  she was right in the heart of all of the exciting art and music that was being created in new york during that time.

here are some of my favorite stories that patti shared:
-when allen ginsberg mistook her for a boy and hit on her by offering to give her money for a sandwich
-hanging out with janis jopling and telling her that she looked like a pearl
-talking to hendrix outside of an art opening

but it wasn't just the celebrities stories that were incredible, but just being in new york.  it's incredible how patti came to new york with absolutely nothing and made it work.  i wish i had that kind of courage, but now i am too old to know better.  i should have moved to new york when i was young.  though i don't know if i would have had what it takes to survive in new york.  patti shared how her first days in new york were spent living on the street and searching for a food with a man she met.  i don't know if i could have done that. the memoir was also filled with her scraping money together to eat and pay rent.  it wasn't easy, but then again i think that was a part of being new york at the time (and to some extend that holds true today).  quick digression, it was also a very different new york.  a much grittier place than it is now.  it was funny to read about times square as a place for gigolos, considering how commericalized it is now.  i mean on one hand, it's great, but sad to think that CBGB's is now a john varvatos boutique!

i feel like i'm doing a poor job describing why this work is so amazing, but you really have to just read it for yourself.

i guess what makes just kids outstanding is her relationship with robert.  it reminded me of my twenties with my best friend.  he and i would roam around los angeles, looking for open bars, and always finding adventure.  it took me back to a carefree time of just enjoying life.  furthermore, it reminded me how important it is to have a friend that understands you.  it was beautiful to read about how patti and robert inspired each other with their art.  they produced their best work when they had each other in mind.  their relationship was special and i am glad that patti smith decided to share it with all of us.

this memoir really is great and i highly recommend it, even if you aren't familiar with her music or her poetry.  this work will fill your heart and have you smiling to yourself.

again i'm sorry for this bad write up, i feel like i didn't capture what made this memoir great without recounting everything that happen and in that case you just need to read it.  i will close with one spoiler, where the title came from.  one day, patti and robert were in washington square, when a woman told her husband to take a picture of them, thinking they might be artist. and his reply was, "oh, go on . . .they're just kids."

fortune smiles. adam johnson. (312)

i picked up fortune smiles after seeing it on carrie brownstein's instagram and i am glad i did.  it's a wonderful collection of short stories, all heartwrenching yet witty.  i had never heard of johnson prior to this, even though he is a pulitzer winner. however, i now plan on reading his pulitzer-prize winning novel, the orphan master's son. this collection was that good.

johnson is an excellent storyteller, and though each story was enjoyable, my favorites were "interesting facts", "nirvana", and "dark meadows".

"interesting facts" was interesting because i wasn't sure if it was autobiographical. the novel opened with the narrator had a book reading and being obsessed with breast.  initially, you assume he was some pervert, but it turns out she was a woman that had lost her breast to breast cancer.  it is then revealed that the narrator's husband was a pulitzer prize winner for a novel about north korea, just like adam johnson! i had to google to see whether or not his wife battled cancer, it turned out she did.  i also discovered that johnson explained in an interview that this story was a "violation of his family".  and knowing that his wife had cancer made this story a little difficult to read.  the reason being that it's a little sixth sense, in the way that you realize that the narrator was a ghost. if written by johnson's wife, it would be a sad yet beautiful story that demonstrates the stress and worries a mother has when her death comes earlier than expected in the form of a disease like cancer.  however, written by johnson himself, it seems awkward for him to imagine her dead and then as a ghosts however, one can see it as an exercise in which he deals with the possibility of losing his wife and how he would move on yet still remain loyal to her.  a beautifully written story and my favorite of the collection.

in "interesting facts", the wife was angry because her husband stole a character that he helped developed for her novel and turned him into the narrator for his own story, "dark meadows". "dark meadows" was another favorite of mine, disturbing yet intriguing.  "dark meadows" was about mr. roses who reminded me of dexter.  he was filled with knowledge of computers and child pornography. though he didn't out right destroy sexual predators, he did help a cop figure out a way to track down people that downloaded child pornography.  he also helped protected his neighbors, two young girls, from a peeping tom, though he also had to safe them from himself.  though creepy, at his very essence, mr. roses was not a bad guy, he too was a victim, raped as a child by his sea scouts leader.  his child

pornography obsession fueled by the need to find photos that his rapist took of him.  this story was disturbing yet hopeful, kind of like watching an episode of law and order: svu, you are exposed to sick and twisted crimes, yet are hopeful that these people will be stopped.  mr. roses was a tragic character that i hope got help and started using his computer skills to help

stop child pornography.

in "dark meadows", there was this great moment when the girls sing themselves a lullaby, though mr. roses did not recognize it initially, i saw it was nirvana's "where did you sleep last night?"  this was kurt's second appearance, in this collection, his first came in the story, "nirvana".  in this story, a man's wife was suffering from guillain-barré syndrome, which left her bed ridden and immobile.  the only comfort she found was listening to nirvana and smoking pot.  the husband was plagued by a promise he made to help her commit suicide when it all got too much.  to help him cope worn this, he created an app, he reconstructed a recently assassinated president that could converse with him and was a hologram via an iprojector.  the hologram was able to talk via a library of speeches and interviews.  he then decided to create one of kurt cobain for his wife.  this technology seemed like the opening of pandora's box, though comforting, it would do more harm, in the long run. it's seems amazing to think that our love could live forever, but it's not really them, just the shell of the person they once were.  we are currently a society obsessed with recording our lives, but the technology in this story is too extreme for me.

all in all, this collection of stories was great and i highly recommend it.  and i definitely plan on reading more books recommended by carrie brownstein.

the danish girl. david ebershoff. (311)

after i saw the trailer for the movie version of the danish girl, starring eddie redmayne, i decided to read the novel.  the movie looked interesting so decided to read the novel, before i saw the film. before i go on, i have to say redmayne makes a beautiful woman.

based on the trailer, i learned that the movie and the novel are based on a real person, a transgender woman from the 1930s, lilli elbe.  i was hoping to learn more about this person, but unfortunately this novel is a fictionalized record of her life versus one based in some truth.  due to this, i have to add that i did have issues reading this work because i kept on wondering what was true and what was made up.  if i had read the author's note at the end, first, it would have made my reading experience, a little more bearable.

i should give one compliment to this work, i did appreciate that it got right to the action.  the novel opened with the incident in which einar dressed like a woman for his wife, greta's painting, which led to his cross dressing and later transition to a man.  it was great that the novel dove right in and then we learned of the characters' pasts in flashbacks.

i will add that i did enjoy the characters greta and carlisle.  i loved how supportive both were of einar/lilli.  however, this is where my compliments end.

the issue that i had with this novel that though it was about a transgender individual it was insensitive to the transgender experience.  i can't speak for the community, but i doubt they were happy with this work.  the first thing that i disagreed with was the feminizing of einar's body, once he realized he enjoyed  wearing women's clothes.  all of a sudden his lashes were long and his breast plump.  this was an issue because there are no physical attributes that reflect one gender, even genital is not an indication because if that was the case, transgender as a category would not exist.  i thought it was insensitive of the author to describe einar as such, as though to say of course, he was transgender, he looked like a female to begin with, though that is just bad stereotyping.  effeminateness in men and masculinity in women is not an indication of gender or sexuality and for ebershoff to imply that our physical body is a reflection of our gender identity made me think him unqualified to write about a transgender character.

another issue, i had was the duality he created in einar was more akin to dr. jekyll and mr. hyde, then to a person coming into oneself.  again, i thought he did a disservice to the transgender community by presenting einar as two different characters.  it was difficult to believe that einar would have no recollection of his time as lilli nor lilli unable to recall any of einar's memories.  if einar's brain switch on and off like that, he would be a schizophrenic or have multiple personalities.  it was too literal of an example for the conflict that einar had. instead of giving the reader insight on the stress one has in determining their gender indentity, it reinforced the fact that society only finds female and male as definitions of gender.  

last, but not least, though i have no insight on their marriage in real life, it was outrageous to assume that greta would be supportive yet so uncommunicative. it seemed so odd how she and einar would not discuss how he would dress up as lilli.  for her to be so forward thinking and have a "western backbone", it would be assume that she would discuss this with her husband, but they both pretended as though it did not occur.  this aspect of the story made no sense to me, their conversations could have been an excellent discussion on acceptance and tolerance yet it never occurred.

i also do not believe that hendrik's would have been so understanding.  i am not saying that transgender people can not find love, but for it to be the 1930's and for him to be fine with lilli's past, seemed a little too clean cut for me.

i am glad i read this book because i was able to learn about lilli elbe, though this novel does not give an real insight on her life.  i did feel that it was insensitive to the transgender experince and could have been written better.

in the country. mia alvar. (310)

i was excited when i learned of in the country, because mia alvar is filipino and being filipino myself, i had to read her book.  i must add that though racially i am filipino, culturally i am more american, a blend of all of the cultures in my household and that i interacted with growing up.  due to this, i was not anticipating identifying completely with alvar's characters but being able to recognize their experience.

reading this collection of short stories, i realized that i know nothing about filipino history.  as i read "old boy" and "in the country", i was confused by the politics i read.  i know that the philippines like most southeast asian countries had a dictatorship, however, i don't know who it was? was it marcos? i only know imelda because of her shoes and that david bryne album.  i really need to study up on this.  i would like to think that i will study of the history of the philippines but i probably won't.  i have some much to read already, and not the biggest fan of non-fiction, but will try.  

it would have be nice to know if the senator in "old girl" and "in the country" was based on an actual person.  i enjoyed both stories though i really did not like the senator, reading about his arrogant ways and his selfless wife, i was frustrated as i read. i also expected him to die in a bombing since he was set to run the boston marathon, but this was a different time.

before i go on, i have to admit that filipino males are not protrayed in the greatest light in these stories, which unfortunately i can related to.  my father is filipino, and though without him i would not be here, he was a dead best dad.  furthermore, he too had a shadow family, a term i learned of in a story of the same name. the story goes that my dad wanted to marry my mom when she was pregnant with me, yet, i have a half sister that is about a year younger than me, so you do the math.  in the stories, the men are greedy, dominate, drive by sex, lazy, and selfish.  yet oddly enough, and sadly, the women in the stories allow them to be as such.  i haven't read any of the author's interviews, but i wonder if this was intended.

another thing that this collection covered was filipinos working in the middle east.  i learned of this a couple years ago, when i worked for a saudi family that had two filipino nannies.  they, of course, took a liking to me, because i was filipino as well and once shared adobo with me.  reading this collection, it was interesting to see how long this has been occurring. it was also interesting to see why filipinos are nurses, i didn't know that the government had called for them to be educated as such to help supply the world with nurses!

so my favorite stories were "in the country", i think it demonstrated how corrupt the government was and how it crushed the spirit of the people

of the phillippines.  i sympathized with the milagros and it was sad to see how her son's life ended.

"the miracle worker" was enjoyable story because it demonstrated that though you can everything money can by, the most valuable thing is hope.  it was also disheartening to read about what the maid did to the baby.

i really liked old girl in "old girl", though her husband was a monster.  i was happy that she became president in "in the country".

overall, this collection of short stories demonstrated just how hardworking and how truly dedicated the women of the phillippines are.  they support and care for the men and as we see help keep the country great. 

i hope to read more form alvar in the future and am happy there is a female filipino writer, i can read!

gumption: relighting the torch of freedom with america's gutsiest troublemakers. nick offerman (308)

i learned of nick offerman's gumption:  relighting the torch of freedom with america's gutsiest troublemakers at bookcon.  i knew he had written another book but assumed it was autobiographical but discovered at his panel it was about americans he admired for their gumption.  i have to add that he brought out both john hodgman and paul rudd during his panel, and yes, rudd was a huge distraction for me.

to be completely honest, this work did not live up to my expectation.  i had expected profiles of some great americans, but what i really got was some interesting facts, offerman gushing about why he loved them, and then some random discussion on politics, life, social media, etc.  i mean the points he made were interesting, but after a while it just got too redundant.  although i love ron swanson, i don't feel that close to offerman, as say, amy poehler or aziz ansari, so all of his random jokes where more awkward than funny. or maybe i am being mean, i just didn't literally laugh out loud as i read, though i am sure there was an the expectation that i did.

that being said, i learned a lot, just wish i had learned more and plan on doing some further reading with the books he suggested for further reading. 

my absolute favorite profile was yoko ono, perhaps because she was the person that i was the most familiar. i loved how offerman started off with admitting how he was judgmental about her, believing in the music folklore that she had broke up the beatles, but thanks to his wife, megan mullally, he saw the light.  and can i just add way to go mullally for purchasing some yoko art, i would have purchased a piece if i could afford it.  anyway, it was lovely to read about how she and john met through her art.  something that i didn't know, but i recognized the pieces because i attended her one woman show at the moma this past may.  i knew of the apple that john was intrigued by and was frustrated when i couldn't climb the ladder to read the message on the ceiling like john did.  but yes, it is amazing that her message was one of positivity and not negativity.  i should add that the book closes with a photo of this piece.  i like offerman found it amazing how she still lived in the dakota.  i am also amazed by her continued activism for social progress.  i really want a poster that says "war on women is over (if you want it)" or maybe a shirt.  but yes i loved the chapter on yoko ono and will be doing some further reading on her.

i also plan on reading more about eleanor roosevelt.  i had no idea that she and franklin d. were distant cousins.  i also loved reading about how she stuck to her beliefs regardless of what her husband supported.  eleanor lobbied for a bill that made lynching illegal in the south, even though her husband was worried that he would lose southern support.  she was also against imprisoning the japanese americans in internment camps after pearl harbor.  again i would have loved to read more about her, but am glad that offerman pointed me in the right direction to read more about her.

maybe it's the feminist in me, but i also plan on reading more about carol burnett.  i used to watch reruns of the carol burnett show, as a kid.  my grandma turned me on to her.  i remember laughing though i don't remember any specific jokes.  i would really love to revisit her show.  it was extraordinary to learn of her humble beginnings and to see that she is a fellow bruin!

the other woman that sparked an interest in me and one that i had never heard of was laurie anderson.  her music and art sounds amazing.  also i loved that she ordered a grilled cheese and bourbon when she and offerman met up.  i did like her idea about reverse boot camp, i feel like we do need to help our servicemen and woman return back to civilian life.  i didn't put in a request for her work, but will later on down the road.

i loved the conan o'brien chapter.  who knew he was so intelligent? and i have to admit it made him really sexy.  it was great to read his thoughts especially about how we view these times, i agree that we romanticize the past and the world is really not as bad as we think it is.  also conan knows his stuff, i mean he is a harvard grad and a history major.  i mean i would love to read books about history from him or even just a book about his life.  why hasn't that happen yet?  also since sadly there are no books, about conan, his further reading section, included books that he mentioned in his chapter.  i think i will read his books just for fun!

i enjoyed reading about james madison, we really do owe a lot to him.  i had no idea how crucial he was to the creating of the constitution and the bill of rights.  also, love that he was a big reader.  (actually alot of people featured were big readers.)

speaking of big readers, the stories in theodore roosevelt's chapter was awesome.  i mean he got shot during a speech and continued on with his speech! talk about impressive!

the chapter on frederick law olmsted was really interested.  thanks to my friend ivan, i have learning about new york, and how it came to be, so loved learning about olmsted and the designing of central park.  it was great to know that olmsted wanted the park to be one everyone and not just the rich.  i also learned that the entrances are labeled different, next time i am in nyc, i'm looking for the strangers' entrance and the warriors' entrance.  another central park bucket list item for me is to eat at tavern on the green.  i also plan on going to prospect park, which is supposed to be he and his partner, valux's best work.  i have been to the brooklyn museum but never explored the park.

i did enjoy micheal pollen's chapter, i would like to read his work, the omnivore's dilemma but am worried they may change my diet.  but i love my food! i will check out the rest of his works, i just don't read much non-fiction, but will add him to my to-be read list.

i sadly wasn't familiar with the writers mentioned, though i did recall coming across george saunder's congratulations by the way on california bookstore day, but didn't buy it.  however, i think i will given it read.

last but not least, i enjoyed read about george nakashima, a furniture maker.  his story was incredible because he was in an internment camp during world war II, after which, he started marking furniture and became successful.

the individuals that offerman wrote about were interested, again i would have liked to see more about them, versus offerman's opinion of them or thoughts he inspired by him.  if you like offerman, check it out, but just know that you there will much left to be desired, so hit up that further reading list.

further reading (for my personal reference):
 the autobiography of eleanor roosevelt eleanor roosvelt
days that i'll remmber: spending time with john lennon and yoko ono joanthan clott
all we are saying: the last major interview with john lennon and yoko ono david sheff
one more time carol burnett
this time together carol burnett
stories from the nerve bible:  a twenty-year retrospective laurie anderson
king lear shakespeare
the beatles:  the biography bob spitz
the soul of a tree george nakashima
congratulations, by the way geroge saunders
a clearing in the distance witold rybczynski
and michael pollan's works

emma. jane austen. (307)

i decided to read emma, because,  the movie, clueless, was loosely based on it. i i recently read as if, and didn't get any of the emma reference, so figured it was time for me to read austen's classic.

to start, i have to add that the movie did mess with my head as a i read.  i kept on trying to sort out who was who based on the movie.  though i did not see any of the characters as the actors.  i did start watching emma, the mini series, so started to see jonny lee miller as mr. knightly.  also i knew that mr. frank churchill was engaged due to a quote i read in as if, so the big surprise at the end was not a big surprise.  i was also shocked at how blinded emma was to their relationship.  i must add i knew the piano was from frank because really he ran into town for a haircut?!?!

i have to admit that it did take me a while to get into the novel.  it was quite a struggle from to read this novel, especially since all of the good stuff happens in the last fourth of the novel.  other complaints included was mr. woodhouse's neediness, poor miss taylor indeed for having to listen to him whine. how horrible that he could not be happy for her but instead lamented about she was no longer in their service.  i have no idea how anyone put up with that.  and though i might be guilty of miss bates' blabbering on and on, but just reading the descriptions of her talking, bored me.  and maybe it's just because elton was so "so sweet that he gave me a toothache" in clueless (i would listen to the cranberries all day with him), but felt bad that mr. elton married such a dreadful woman!  ps kudos to amy heckerling on the picture fiasco which was a great mirroring of the painting mix up.  also love love loved how heckerling had tai burn her belongings from elton just like harriet did with her mr. elton things.

back to the novel, so though i was bored, i have to admit that just like emma, an darted through my heart when it came to mr. knightley.  austen created the most sensitive, noble, morale, loving men and mr. knightley was rather quite knightly.  she created these moments when her leading men confess their love and her readers sit there wishing it would happen to them! i mean what a dreamboat mr. knightley was when confessing his love for emma.  so sweet was this ending to the novel that i forgave austen for how bored i was in the beginning.

i will close in saying that even though i didn't love it straight off the bat, emma is like the quintessential girl novel, reminding us how naive we were when we were young and when it came to love and life.  how often we fall in love with men we can not have, and at the same time can be blinded to affection of someone else.  or we try to give someone advice and we really should just keep our noses out of their business.  i guess its best to say that, emma reminded me of how when i was younger, i though i knew everything, but really i was just clueless.  

the improbable theory of ana & zak. brian katcher. (306)

i decided to check out the improbable theory of ana & zak, after seeing it

posted on epic read's instagram

post of books for geminis.  i started following epic reads after i got a free tote from them at bookcon.  anyway, this was the post:  

i decided to read the improbable theory of ana & zak because i liked the title.  i had no idea what the book was about but the title sounded cute.  and i guess you can judge a book by its title because this book was cute.

the back cover broke down the story for me perfectly:

i figured this would be like a geeky nick and norah's infinite playlist, well sci-fi geeky, since nick and norah were music geeky.

as epic reads shared, this work would appeal to my dual nature and it did! the book flips back and forth between ana and zak's perspectives.  ana was this overachiever, do anything for college applications girl (totally me!), and zak was this slacker, sci-fi, convention-attending boy.  their paths crossed when zak, to make up for plagiarizing a report, joined the quiz bowl team that ana spearheaded, she was the unofficial captain of the team.  they get off to a rocky start when at the tournament, zak took ana's place for one round, this totally pissed her off.

the weekend of the tournament, sadly conflicted with washingcon, a convention that zak attended every year.  however, both are in seattle and miles apart. zak was disappointed but graduating was more important.  with the con being so close to the tournament, he did considered going.  however, he and ana end up at the convention when clayton, ana's little brother, took off to the convention after listening to zak's stories.

having never been to comic-con, but having attend hello kitty con and book con, i could imagine the chaos of washingcon. though reading this made me wish i had attended a comic-con.  

ana and zak went on a wild goose chase looking for clayton to avoid getting in trouble with ana's parents.  ana was super uptight and as it was revealed, because her parents kicked her older sister out because she got pregnant in high school.  this caused ana to stress about being perfect.  though she was annoyed with zak at first, she started to see that zak was a great and helpful guy.  

i totally would have had a crush on zak in real life, though the goatee would have to go! that goatee was the only thing that ruined my book crushing on him.  i hope ana got him to shave it.  zak was this sweet and easy going guy, friendly to all.  though his life wasn't perfect, it was revealed, his dad died of cancer, and he didn't get along with his stepdad.  however, his issues didn't effect how he treated ana, unlike how she treated him.  her meaness at the beginning is even more upsetting given how zak kept on getting beat up, thanks to ana.

since the setting is a con, a bunch of craziness happened, a vampire ball, a run-in with a strawberry shortcake cosplay player (is that right?), a battle, and like i mentioned, some fights. there was this weird twist, when zak found a bag of cocaine.  he was held hostage with a gun, this felt too extreme for me.  but the same thing happen on an episode of a different world, so i guess it could happen? i personally would have liked to have seen that part edited out because it felt too ridiculous to me.  it just seemed unrealistic, and excessive.

in the end, zak and ana of course, fell in love.  they found clayton, survived the drug dealer, and made it the tournament. i have to add i was anticipating that monte cristo question in the final round. the novel, being ya, cleaned up nicely, in the end, zak and his stepdad got along and ana finally stood up to her mom.

a cute book that i could totally see being turned into a movie.  however, i am too old to know who plays teens now, so can't give a dream cast. this was an enjoyable read and if teen me had read it, i would have totally gone to comic con because of it.  adult me might make it happen.

my cousin momo. zachariah ohora (305)

my cousin momo is the story about cousin momo, a flying squirrel, and his visit to his cousin's house.  his cousin were extremely excited about his visit.  however, momo's odd behavior, made them upset about the trip.

for example, momo, wanted to be a muffin man when they dressed up as superheroes! (i thought his costume was amazing!):

and then while playing hide and seek, cousin momo got distracted by the mushrooms and had to take pictures:

though we were not told this, it's obvious that cousin momo is a hipster flying squirrel visiting from williamsburg.  i mean i totally wanted to be his friend!  however, his cousins not so much.  there was an awkward moment where momo was about to head home but the cousin see that is fun, not weird.  so they all played together:

pastry power!

and accepted cousin momo for the hipster that he is!

a cute story with great illustrations! i highly recommend it!!

kitchens of the great midwest. j. ryan stradal (303)

after seeing kitchens of the great midwest all over my instagram (granted i do follow it's publisher's account), i decided to check it out.  also people had been posting pics of bars made from a recipe in the book, and with my new insta account @booksandsnacks, i figured i should read it.  being a lover of food and books, i was excited to read this book, but was also a little wary about how food would be portrayed.  but all my worrying was for nothing because j. ryan stradal knew his stuff!

kitchens of the great midwest chronicled the life of eva thorvald that ended with a meal that a culmination of her life that reminded me of a final challenge for top chef that would have made tom colicchio proud.  each portion of the meal related back to a story, the reader read about her life.

the novel opened with her father lars thorvald, an awkward but loving man and a great father.  he was a chef and was so excited to feed so much so that the doctor warned him about introducing things to early to eva.  i mean he wanted to give her pork shoulder at like three months, which is alittle extreme. however, helped provide eva with an extraordinary palette.  oh, i should add that lars was really a lovely person, it was so sweet to learn of his dedication to his family and he made the best lutefisk.  sadly, however lars passed away and eva was raised by her aunt and uncle, though she did not know it during her youth. i forgot to mentioned, by this point, eva's mother had abandoned her and lars.

the story then jumped to eva as a tween.  she was obsessed with peppers and after getting in trouble with at school ran away to her cousin, braque, who was away at college.  quick sidenote, eva had the coolest cousins (via her aunt by marriage/"mom"'s side) that had great taste in music, braque got her a bikini kill shirt and randy listened to nine inch nails.  anyway, braque and eva went around hustlin' people to make money, eva due to her high tolerance of spicy food, would shock adults with the spicy food she ate.

the next chapter of eva's life introduced, will prager, a boy who was her first sweetheart.  i have to add i loved will prager's taste in music as well (okay, stradal's amazing taste in music.)  i even listed out all the songs, which i youtubed as i read to help soundtrack the chapter:

"where is the love"

"super bon bon" soul coughing

"car" built to spill

"in an airplane over the sea" neutral milk hotel

"fade into you" mazzy star

"why (mtv unplugged version)" annie lennox

"reason to believe"

their first date was at a fancy restaurant and it reminded me of when i first started fine dining, how unsure i was about the procedures and of course how much i would be spending.  it was a nice little stroll down memory lane.  anyhoot, it is her that the reader and will realized that eva had a special gift when it came to food and she began working in that very restaurant.  i have to add that eva moved away and though i hoped that will would come back into her life and they would end up lovers, but this did not happen.

the next part of eva's life revolved around dinner parties, which reminded me of the dinner parties that my friend danny used to host.  they weren't potlucks, he did all of the cooking, nor were they as catty. thought it was probably just octavia that was catty.  i mean she was horrible person and had a bad life because she made bad choices.  but back to those dinner parties, eva was so nice and her caesar salad sounded amazing!

i have to admit that was a little bored by the storyline that introduced jordy.  i am going to say that that part was just to introduce venison into the menu.  odd, but i read it.  i think the novel would have been better if the venison was included a different way that related more to eva.

i was very excited about pat pragar's section, mostly because i made those bars and they were delish.  also that new woman was so mean.  and i wonder what happen when she got pulled over.  also, those vegan people were the worse, but i guess if you were vegan, you would be angry and hungry too.

the last part of the book, reintroduced cindy, eva's mom that abandoned her.  her life though enjoyable was not great, which felt kind of like karma for abandoning her daughter.  by this time in the story, eva was a successful chef.  she started out by hosting these random dinner parties around town, well the town she lived in.  she then decided to start a pop-up dinner party.  i had seen something like it on top chef, but have sadly never attended one of those.  she was so successful that she began doing her dinners in even more exotic places, and the waiting list was years longs.  anyway, cindy decided to get on the wait list so that she can meet her daughter.  it is from cindy's perspective that we learn of the dinner of eva's lifetime.  it's pretty amazing, i was impressed by the courses and everything related back to the stories, we had read.  it was brillant, as a lover of food and good storytelling, i couldn't imagine a better way to end a great novel.  also, all of the people from eva's life, were there as well.

it really was the perfect ending to a great book! i really can't get over how great it was that the meal related back to her life.  well, done stradal.  this book is definite read if you love food. i highly recommend and as an added bonus, there are also recipes in it, so you can make some of what you read. i recomend pat pragar's bars!

here is pat's recipe:

here are some of the recipes i want to try:

mom's chicken wild rice casserole:

mom's carrot cake

barn ramstad's kraft caramel bars 

last celeste's mississippi mud bars which reminded me of something my grandma would make, but we called them brownies.