lord of the flies. william golding.

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surprisingly i was never assigned to read "lord of the flies" in jr. high or high school. (in my defense, i was an honors kids so not sure why i never had to read it.) but being on the flavorpill's "30 list" (see: "their eyes" entry for the list) and june being my 29th birthday month, i was inspired to read it. also it was on my list of children's/young adult books to read from rebecca makkai's "the borrower" (see that entry for that list).

plus my sister's copy is constantly around asking me to read it so i finally did.

i have also never seen the movie. i have a memory of seeing the opening scene in a classroom but i think i left early and didn't see it. i have seen "the simpsons" episode based on it, so kinda knew what to expect. but even then i had no idea that this novel was so intense.

i think what made me most nervous was when i first met piggy. as soon as i discovered he was fat, wore glasses and had asthma, i knew the rest of the boys would eat him alive. as i read the book, i worried about him and was fearful that he would die at any moment. (spoiler alert) and when it eventually happened, i was devastated, i was hoping that the boys would prove me wrong. but like they say boys will be boys.

when i was done reading, i realized that i am extremely grateful i am a girl. sure we can be catty, back-stabbing and cruel (see: "mean girls", "heathers") but our gender expectations are more manageable than that of boys. in addition to this we are not constantly required to prove our "womanhood" as boys their "manhood." rarely do we hear as child growing up, "be a woman!" but "be a man" is a taunt we are all familiar with. also its easier to become a "woman" than it is to become a "man." for girls, we simply get our periods and then hear from everyone "you're a woman now." whereas boys, aside from physical markers via puberty, are required to demonstrate traits to prove their manliness.

this requirement of "manly" appearance, reminded me of something said on oprah after the columbine shootings, "boys don't cry tears, they cry bullets." meaning that the demands to appear masculine results in boys suppressing their true feelings which then becomes manifested through violence. this need to appear brave and strong versus admitting their fear is what unleashes the savage in all of the boys in "lord of the flies". their need to kill and dominate is a result of their need to exert power over something since they feel powerless. and when the boys becomes savages they do turn ruthless, however i don't recognize this as a demonstration that man is innately evil, but instead it shows how in a society where being scared is not consider a masculine trait, man will resort to violence as a means to express his repressed fears.      

this is demonstrated best in ralph.  ralph at first views the island as a place for adventure and fun minus adult supervision.  he is too preoccupied with having fun and is essentially in denial about them being stranded.  (he holds onto hope that is father will save them.) however, when he spots a ship and realizes that the fire (which was to be constantly burning as a help signal) was not being maintain, he finally confronts his fears that they might not be recused.  once he accepts that he is scared and  accepts the facts that a) they may never be saved and b) that he longs for home, then he becomes a rational thinker.  ralph then becomes the leader they need, but by that time it is too late for the boys have turned into a savage tribe with jack.  (by the way, i really wish someone would have killed jack.  if they were grown-ups, jack would have been shot instantly for his selfishness and desire for power.)

i understand that "lord of the flies" has many overaching themes like civilization vs savagry, war, evil vs good, rational thinking vs natural instinct.  however, i saw it more as a warning as to how we are raising our sons.  as i was reading it, i kept thinking to myself, i hope i never raise a boy that would be that cruel or insensitive.  and maybe it is unfair to say that only males can fall prey to these dangers.  but we women have our own burderns to shoulder like the pressure to be sexy or beautiful and have to suffer the cycle of menustration.  however, i still feel it is easier to be a girl in our society.  though i am not one, i can't imagine how tough it must be growing up as a boy.

so should it be read before you are 30?  yes, i am sad that i did not read it earlier.  and i am glad that our kids today read it in school.  i also hope that they recongize in piggy that bullying is inacceptable and cruel