jesus' son. denis johnson

denis johnson's "jesus' son" is a flavorpill 30 before 30 book.  i had heard of it prior to my reading because of the film based on it starring billy crudup but never saw it or thought to read the book.

and since thirty is a week away, i ordered it on abebooks.com (for some odd reason the library did not have a copy) and read it in about two days (due to the quick-paced momentum of the stories).  "jesus' son" is a collection of stories told by the same narrator, a small town junkie.  there is an epigraph at the begging quoting lou reed's "heroin", "when i'm rushing on my run and i feel just like a jesus' son", which is where the collection gets its name.

to be honest, "jesus' son" wasn't for me.  flavorpill said that it would knock you down regardless of your age.  and yes johnson's writing is amazing.  it's just that the content wasn't for me.  i grew up and currently live in a small town (which is how i knew even before the narrator said it that his "work" would be stealing copper wire from buildings and selling it, people actually do this in delano) and don't like the druggies here so reading about one similar to them was of no interest to me.  i think individuals like the narrator are what is wrong with the world today and so i spent most of my time disgusted by what i read.

and i get it.  if i read "jesus' son" back in 92 (more like 99, i was only 9 in 92), it probably would have knocked my socks off.  i did read "trainspotting" when i was in high school circa 00/01 and that knocked my socks off back then.  but whereas i enjoyed reading about mark, sickboy and the gang, i was repulsed by the narrator of "jesus' son".

i tried googling to find an analysis to help me better understand my disapproval

of the content and found a quote in a new york times article:

The narrator "lives in a random world, a certain part of America where wildness is actually expressed rather than depicted," Mr. Johnson said. "Some of us go to the movies to see everybody shooting each other, and then there's another bunch who actually shoot each other." 

and perhaps this is it.  maybe i am

just tired of the lowlives in delano to have the openmindness to find this profound.  i just have no sympathy for people with drug addictions, its not a sickness, cancer and luekemia are.  and to clairfy,  i did grow up in an extremely sheltered househoild and do not know any actual junkies in real life.  but i did lose an uncle (that i never met) to heroin and perhaps that is where my prejudice against junkies comes from?  and due to these prejudices, though johnson didn't intent it to be, i read "jesus' son" as romanticising addiction.

but as i mentioned before denis johnson is a wonderful writer, it was just his subject matter that turned me off.  he did  have many beautiful lines.

"[the bartender] poured doubles like an angel, right up to the lip of a cocktail glass, no measuring. . . . you had to go down to them like a hummingbird over a blossom."

"she wanted to eat my heart and be lost in the desert with what she'd done, she wanted to fall on her knees and give birth from it, she wanted to hurt me as only a child can be hurt by its mother."

and though i didn't approve of the stories told, johnson is a wonderful storyteller. i loved the inconsistency of it all, the memories of the narrator were all jumbled just like a junkie.  but it's hard to appreciate good writing when you can't stomach the narrator.  however, i do plan on reading johnson's other works, "jesus' son" just wasn't for me.