bad feminist. roxane gay. (234)

i, first came across roxane gay's collection of essays, bad feminist, via flavorpill.  i didn't give it much thought but after she was all over my instagram feed (i follow a lot of bookish accounts), i decided i needed to check it out.  and i am glad i did!  this is a must read for every woman  . . . and man too.

i consider myself a feminist, i believe that women are not the weaker sex and should be treated the same as men.  women should not be restricted by the boundaries that society had deemed appropriate and acceptable for them.  i took a women studies course at ucla and did very well in it (i should have minored in women studies.) i have made it a point to read more women authors this year.  it's not a title, most people associated me with, but feminist is one that i would proud about if labeled it.  (and this is prior to bey making it cool to be a feminist.)

however, i do realize that like gay, i am a bad feminist.  and like gay, i embrace that title.  as gay shared,

i embrace the label of bad feminist because i am human.  i'm messy.  i'm not trying to be an example.  i am not trying to be perfect.  i am not trying to say i have all the answers.  i am not trying to say i'm right.  i am just trying--trying to support what i believe in, trying to do some good in the world, trying to make some noise with my writing while being myself:  a woman who loves pink and likes to get freaky and sometimes dances her ass off to music, she "knows" is terrible for women and who sometimes plays dumb with repairmen because it's easier to let them feel macho than it is to stand on the moral high ground.

this felt spot on.  i do believe in equality between sexes but love it when men open doors for me and if on a date, i do expect them to pay for dinner.  if i am carrying something heavy and with a male, i expected him to carry it for me.  it doesn't make me less of a feminist, just human.

the term bad feminist allows for these inconsistencies not only with us as humans but also feminism as a movement.   feminism, like all movements, covers a variety of concerns and issues, gay's point is that in order to be a feminist you don't need to be true to everything, but simply believe in the progression of women's rights.  she does point out that feminism is flawed with its lack of concern for women of color and homosexuals.  however, though it is flawed, gay is hopefully that her voice along with others will help create room for everyone within feminism.

before i go, i must add that as i read the intro, i felt bad about my judging of beyonce.  my dislike of beyonce came with an anthem that i should have loved, "run the world (girls)."  i felt like she was stealing other artists' thunder, the cool funky part of this song was actually major lazer and then she performed that billboard awards she totally copied another artist.  all this left a bad taste in my mouth.  then, the whole feminist thing seemed more like a marketing ploy than anything else.  i mean it was great that she sampled chimamanda nogzi adichie, because the world needed to hear that ted talk and read her novels.  i read americanah because of "flawless". however, i felt like adichie's words were being bastardized by the context beyonce put them in.  how does "my man made me feel so god damn fine, i'm flawless!" align with the discussion women not fighting for or finding worth in the attention from men.  and as my cousin kristel pointed out, doesn't "bow down bitches" go against adichie's words that women should not be in competition with one a other.  for these reasons, my dislike began to grow.  also the music video for "pretty hurts" was so self-righteous, yes i am sure beyonce struggled with her body and it not finding into the model mold, but lets get serious, she now has designers creating for her, so can she not preach about the world putting pressure on women to be pretty in her couture.  the fashion industry she shows off via her dazzling outfits is the beast that feeds these high standards of beauty.  however, gay made me realize that i was being a bad feminist for critiquing bey like this.  it is ignorant of me to expect her to be perfect, so bey, i am sorry.  also, i should be grateful that she has made it so that girls and women today are not afraid to be labelled a feminist.

just like i don't always agree with beyonce, it was the same with gay.  for the most part, i agreed with points she made however, i did reach some points where i lost interest in what she had to say.  but regardless of how i felt, i was engaged, i loved her writing style and her witty little quips made me feel like we could be friends.

the essays are divided into the following sections:  [me], [gender & sexuality], [race & entertainment], [politics, gender & race].

[me] as expected discussed gay, her work and her hobby, competitive scrabble.  yes, competitive scrabble, that essay was a hoot and gay is good!

the first essay in this section discussed her work as a professor and what she encountered as an advisor for a black students association.  she also explained how a co-workers remark about affirmative action drove her to work hard, ultimately gaining her ph.d but still worried she isn't good enough.  

the second essay, "peculiar beliefs" made the interesting point of everyone neglecting to recognize their privilege and only wanting to focus on their oppression.  though i am a person of color, a female and came from a single parent home and lived in a rural area, i was aware that i was privileged growing up.  this knowledge came via kids pointing out the material goods (aka nike shoes and guess jeans) that i had in elementary school.  we weren't rich but i was privileged for the area.  i also had a family that was very involved and cared about my education.  now i am not saying that i life the high life, but just demonstrating the fact that i never saw myself as disadvantaged.  as gay called out her readers at the end, "if you are reading this essay, you have some kind of privilege . . . if you cannot recognize your privilege, you have a lot of work to do; get started."

[gender & sexuality] cover just that.  the first essay, "how to be friends with a another woman" is a definite must read!  i wanted to copy it and share it with all of my friends, primarily to thank them for being just great friends!  just great sound advice.  i even instagramed my favorite:

the second essay "girls, girls, girls", as i was anticipating, discussed hbo's "girls" and i understand all of gay's critiques, but still think "girls" is the best,  gay's brings up the color issue which i have discussed before, but just add some food for thought because gay also discussed how women need a television show that shows women with their act together.  to which i say but that is not the point of "girls".  dunham created the show to demonstrate what life is like for twentysomethings now and i think she is spot on.  i am a thirtysomething but see my past messy self in the girls of "girls".  secondly, it's unfortunate because the lack of diversity on show is not due to dunham's racism but probably from the lack of diversity in her action life.  and i don't hate her for it, it's just a reality of life.  i have always had very diverse group of friends, but not everyone is like that.  people tend to stick to their own race, it's unfortunate but it happens.  also growing up, i never new any jewish people so a depiction of my life would exclude jewish people but it shouldn't make that work anti-semitic, it is simply a reflection of the reality that i knew.  gay recognized that it is unfair to expect "girls" to be everything to everyone and that we have put an unjust demand for it to be inclusive.  and that the real issue is that programming as a whole needs to change.  i have to add that gay mentioned "girlfriends" in his article, and how it showed women of color being responsible and having jobs.  i really need to start watching it, i hope netflix or hulu pick it up to show.

in "i was once miss america", gay plays tribute to the girls of "sweet valley high". i read part of that series but was not into like gay was into it.  and though reading the novel as a haitian girl, she was able to identify with the twins of sweet valley.  as she explained, "some experiences are universal.  a girl is a girl whether she lives in omaha or sweet valley."

in "garnish, glorious spectacles", i recognized how bad my television guilty pleasures, bravo's housewives and all of the celebreality vh1 shows, truly were, not due to it being bad television, but the horrible, female stereotypes it upheld.  gay loved these shows too, so i don't feel as bad.  but it is horrible how we watch these shows to feel better about herself and be thankful that we aren't such train wrecks.  and in the end, gay points out that perhaps we watch it because its actual a reflection of ourselves.  

in "the careless language of sexual violence", i was appalled to learn about how the new york times framed the gang-raping of an 11 year old girl as the victim's fault and sympathized with the rapist.  i'm not always up to date on current events, so this was not on my radar when it happened.  however, i did google and read the article and other posts about it.  i still can not believe that the nyt allowed for this story to be ran.  i will add that i am thankful to life in an each in which i can google a story and also see all of the critiques of it as well in a search.

another thing that i did not agree with gay, her love of the hunger games trilogy.  though her love for these works, kind of makes me want to actual finish all three books.  i read the hunger games on the advice of friends before the movies and all the hoopla around it.  i, for one, did not enjoy it.  there was a lot of living going on for something that was suppose to be a fight to the death.  i mean i get it, its a young adult novel, but i was still disappointed that it turned into some kind of weird love story.  so i saw the first movie, and actually enjoyed it more.  then just stopped caring about the hunger games.  however, now i feel like i should read it, because katniss is a good role model for girls, as gay pointed out.  so i feel like i should read them in the name of girls that rock!

i am so thankful that gay wrote "dear young ladies who love chris brown so much that they would let him beat them".  i, for one, do not understand how chris brown is still famous and how women still love him.  this article addresses my confusion.

"blurred lines, indeed" made me feel so bad.  i absolutely loved "blurred lines" when it came out.  it was my jam, i once had a dj play it for me twice in one night.  i loved the beat and it was catchy and the lyrics were funny.  however, i did not realize just how misogynistic it was, okay, maybe i did, but i still loved to dance to it.  i like the music but i i hate the message.  i know i can solve this problem by not listening to it, at the same time its just music.  though gay points out that this "lighten up" mentality does not alleviate these problems.  i guess i can just hope for a future in which misogynistic undertones in pop culture will go away because it has gone away in our culture.

gay discussed the 50 shades of gray trilogy, and all i can say, is how did women read that crap?  i mean i am glad that women were reading, but seriously there was nothing sexy about a controlling man.  controlling in the bedroom, if you are into bdsm life style yes.  but controlling as in buying the company you work for and wanting to know where you are all the time, is just frightening and women should not tolerate it just because the sex is good.  i have never read it, and now i never will.   i will add, this essay discussed how prince charming is just an illusion and that women need to understand that they can not change men and if a man is not treating you as he should be, you need to get out of that relationship.

on last note about this section, in it gay discussed in pieces, how she was a victim of sexual violence as a young girl.  at the risk of sounding insensitive or using the wrong words, just wanted to share that i appreciate her allowing the reader into such a private matter.  her writing on it felt therapeutic though i can't speak for her.  i will add that she did create an environment in which her readers that are victims of sexual violence can feel comfort in knowing that they are not alone. 

[race & entertainment], this collection of essays, is where i disagreed with gay the most.  primarily, because i see movies as entertainment and though it is insensitive of me, just felt like sometimes you have to take movies just as an escape then rather analyze everything.  and i know that movies influence how we frame the world and also reflect how we frame the world, but i felt she was being too critical in this section,

[politics, gender & race].  her article "when twitter does what journalism can't" gay demonstrated the power of twitter.  again i am bad with the current events, but so i learned about senator wendy davis' filibuster the next day.  however, gay learned of it via twitter thanks to one activist that live tweeted the filibuster.  gay also explained that the larger networks did not cover it, but there was a livefeed via youtube, where she was able to watch it.  it is shocking how much of our news gets shared via twitter and facebook.  i have mentioned before in post that i always get my celebrity death news via twitter.  oh and just wanted to add kudos to senator davis for being an amazing woman!!!

"the inalienable rights of women" is another must read for women.  it was one that got my blood boiling because of the little control, we women have over our bodies.  and i think what is even more frustrating that there is so much discussion about birth control, yet men can just walk down to the corner store and pick up condoms whenever they want.  where is the regulation of that?!?!?  it was so upsetting to read about some states requiring women to get ultrasounds before receiving an abortion.  virginia went so far as to require transvaginal ultrasounds.  i have discussed it before, i have never been in a position in which i needed to decide whether or not i wanted an abortion.  however, i can not imagine being in that position and not only having to struggle with my making the right decision for myself but then having the government add in their ignorant two cents.  at the end of the day, it is my body and i need to make the decision that is best for me.  women need to be allowed to chose for themselves without the government interfering.  furthermore, i do agree with gay that if the government does continue to limit women's right in regards to abortions, women will go underground to take care of the situation as they have throughout history.

these are just some highlights from the essays.  gay covered a variety of issues and gave me a lot of food for thought.  this was an excellent read not only for giving voice to issues that are often ignored but for simply encouraging the reader to question the world we live in.  this novel doesn't have all the answers or solve the problems we face as society, instead it adds dialogue to ongoing discussions of gender, race, sexuality, politics, in hopes that the world will improve.     

the awakening. kate chopin.

i decided to reread kate chopin's the awakening for banned book week.  i came across it while sharing a link to the american library association list of banned/challenged classics.  i have a huge tbr pile right now and decided the awakening would be a fast read, so i decided to squeeze it for banned books week.

i read the awakening in college.  i think it was for a women's studies course.  however, i didn't remember much from it other than the protagonist drowned herself in the sea over a lover.

i hate to say this considering the awakening is an example of early feminist writing, but i did not enjoy the story.  the issue i had with edna, was the same issues that i had with anna karenina.  i just can not sympathize with women that abandon their duties as a mother.  i also can not tolerate women who abandon their duties as wife via infidelity.  in the awakening, edna abandoned her husband and children because she fell in love with another man, robert.  also, robert unleashed all of her inner desires which resulted in her having another affair with a different gentleman.  if edna was single, i would be in full support of her multiple lovers but the fact that she was a mother and a wife caused my dislike of her.

i am normally in support of women not being restricted by gender roles, however, when you decide to become a mother or a wife, there are basic duties that you agree to by assuming these roles.  so for the most part you must meet the most basic duties, care for your children and care for your husband.  there is flexibility within these roles ie women should not be restrict to the realm of the home, but if you can't handle that you shouldn't have assumed the role in the first place.  and i know that i am writing this as a 20th/21st century woman, and it is easy for me to critique because i have the freedom to choose when i want to be a mother or a wife, but i can not sympathize with women who abandon their families, past or present.   it is selfish versus feminist.  

before i go on, so i don't sound completely ignorant, i do realize that at the time chopin was writing, women had only one option in life, marriage.  most women married for financial stability versus actual love and most women did not have a choice when it came to marriage, so many women found themselves in the same situation as edna.  so for that reason i do admire this work for addressing an experience that women encountered but could not discuss.  and to be perfectly honest, if i was in her situation in that time and place, i am not sure what i would have done.  but suicide seems extreme, i mean both edna and anna karenina decided to kill themselves then lead a life without love, which sounds brave but is actually cowardly, especially considering that they had children.  i seen no romance in leaving your children motherless.  i guess chopin wanted to demonstrate how women in these situations have no real options, and rather then life a lie, some women wished for death.

it all seems bleak but it is tough being a women, especially due to the expectations that society places on us.  and i guess i should be sympathetic toward edna because she wasn't the mothering type yet became a mother out of society's expectations.  and i can not hate her for that, some people just don't have a mothering instinct.  okay, maybe i was a little two harsh on edna earlier, but in my defense, it's difficult to seperate my modern mind from the historical context, especially considering how women issues are pretty much the same throughout all of history.

for me, personally, it comes down to the fact that i believe women should not be restricted by their gender, we should do what feels natural to us.  yet, at the same time, i am old-fashioned and conservative when it comes to marriage and motherhood.  to me, marriage vows should be upheld, one should keep the promises that they have made.  and i know that people fall out of love, and sometimes the person your married changes, or you change, life happens.  i am fine with divorce, but i think once you start to feel uncertain about your marriage, you should discuss it with your partner versus cheat.  i know edna didn't really have this option but i hope a modern day work like this would have the protagonist going that route.

and though i do not agree with the infidelity, i must praise chopin for writing about female sexuality.  though i wish edna's awakening came before marriage rather than after but it could have never really been the other way.  the sad truth is that women are expected to be the virgin bride, especially back then.  it is also unfortunate that edna's husband did not awaken her.  but this work is important for women to read (then and now), so that they can see that it is fine to be a sexual person, that you are not abnormal for desiring sex. 

i was raised mormon and though i planned on saving myself for marriage as the church instructed, i must admit that i saw nothing wrong with masturbating though i should have according to the church.  i have no idea where i got the notion that masturbation was okay, maybe it was from the novels (the perks of being a wallflower mentioned masturbation) and the teen magazines i read.  one of my friends and i openly discussed masturbation and i remember encouraging other friends to explore, not by in a "let's have a circle jerk" way,  but in a "hey, don't be ashamed to explore your body" way.  sorry, i just got really honest.  but i guess i am demonstrating how i could have been edna in this modern day.  i am not saying that the standards of the church are wrong, teens should not have sex lives, but their sexuality shouldn't be denied.  i mean i didn't grow up to be this sex-crazed slut because i masturbated in high school.  and even if i did, oh well, it is my body.

wow.  this post kind of went all over the place, but there is a lot of layers to the awakening.  it simply as a story was not for me, i did not sympathize with edna.  however, the issues of motherhood, gender roles, and sexuality that arose from it were important for me to contemplate.  i think the later reason is why this book was banned.  it awoken in people the idea that not all women fit into the mold deemed appropriate by society.  for this, and it's feminist significance, the awakening is a must read for every woman . . . and every man too!  

the vacationers. emma straub (233).

i had originally checked out the vacationers back in july because it was on everyone's summer reads list, however, i decided to wait until my vacation to hawaii to read it.  i figured it would be the perfect setting for it.  since the wait list was long for the book, i decided to check out the ebook but i received it before my trip.  i ended up canceling that and requesting it again.  luckily, my turn occurred just in time for my trip.  seriously, though with a cover like that i couldn't sit on my couch and read it at home.

the vacationers is the story of the post family's summer trip to mallorca.  the vacation was off to a rocky start before a single plane even took off due to all the extra baggage everyone brought along with them.  franny and jim post are on the verge of seperation due to jim sleeping with an intern from his work and consequently his resignation from work.  ironically, the trip was suppose to be celebrating their anniversary. their daughter, slyvia, was dealing with her own drama, losing the boy she liked to a friend and having embarassed herself at a party, was happy to leave on this trip and had a goal of losing her virginity.  their son, bobby, unaware of father's infidelity, brought along his much older girlfriend, carmen (which the family did not approve of) , and his financial troubles from miami (which the family was unaware of.) and rounding out the group, was sylvia's best friend, charlie and his husband, lawrence (who was oddly jealous of their relationship).  charles and lawrence's extra baggage was they are in the midst of adopting a baby, though charles still seemed on the fence about the idea of being a father.

of course, with all of this drama, chaos does ensue, but it is hard to pity any of them because they are on a luxurious vacation. lives were falling apart but at least there was beaches, a pool, and a mansion to distract them. furthermore, it's a family trip, of course there is going to be chaos.  and in the end, everything worked out for everyone and for those of you who are curious, sylvia lost her viriginity!

to be perfectly honest, i am not sure why this was on everyone's must read list for summer.  i have definitely read more entertaining and delightful books this summer.  i mean it was a perfect beach read since it was light and all the drama was kept me reading, but for the most part i think it was chosen due to its cover.  that cover is adorable and screams summer.  it is definitely a book i would have picked up on cover alone.  but would have been disappointed with myself for choosing a book by its covef,especially  since i am normally so good at it!

if you haven't read this yet, i would wait until next summer because it would less disappointing if read on a beach somewhere.  

and the heart says whatever. emily gould. (232)

while looking up the blurb flavorpill had written about emily gould's friendship, i came across another article titled "could emily gould be the voice of our generation"? i didn't read the article, because i wanted to read the book first, but i would have to say yes, gould could be the voice of our generation.  (i have yet to read the article, i want to write this post first.)

as i read this collection of essays, i couldn't help but think of how it reminded me of hbo's "girls" and i am shocked that flavorpill did not put it on their list of books to read to fill the the girls' void in your life.  

this work was published in 2010 and the series started in 2012 and they do feel a lot a like.  so i wonder why it was excluded.  (actually i just googled thinking that maybe gould and dunham were friends, turns out they are not.  a feud started between them during the time gould's book came out.  how sad.)

and the heart says whatever covers gould's early twentysomething life.  it is just as curtis sittenfeld's (not sure who he is) words on the front cover share:  "these smart, poignant essays about being young and literary in new york city are like a twenty-first century version of the bell jar but with more pot, sex, technology, and (thanks goodness) a different ending."  gould shared with us her shitty jobs, bad break-ups, even worse rebound relationships, depression and bad discussions in life.  as i read about her time working at a publishing house, gawker, i can see how she gleaned from her life for friendship.  the same can be said for the relationships she had.

this collection felt like life, i mean it was, but it wasn't a forced life.  in the introduction, gould shared a story about how after a work thing she went to see her boyfriend's band play.  it turned into a late night when his band became the headliners.  her boyfriend was elated but she was tried so went home.  she realized that this was the moment their relationship shifted and they eventually broke up.  she has looked back at the moment wondering if she would do it different.  she goes on to question all the mistakes she has made. however she admits that "i would be lying if i said i was a different person now.  i am the same person.  i would do it all again."  it sad but its true.  i mean we did end up where we are now because of these mistakes and we would probably make them all over again.  i'd like to think i would do things differently but that is not how it ever is.

my favorite essays were "and the heart says" and "the lens".  "and the heart says" captured the difficulty and confusion of break-ups.  how one looks back on the period when it was good and realize that those feelings were not fake but only temporary as gould described.  it is also scary to think how someone we are so intimate with can suddenly be a stranger.  it also made my heart sad to know that that recording of joseph singing to her is lost forever, but at least she has the memory.  i enjoyed the ending to "the lens", the story of nan goldin's photo of cookie mueller and her husband at their wedding and sadly his funeral.  gould explained that "but [cookie] looks into the coffin with the same expression she'd worn at the wedding:  love and sadness, twined together so tightly they are indistinguishable.

gould's collection was just her life, but it felt more real then other similar works i have read, how to be a person or taipei, which attempt to do the same thing.  due to this, i would have to put a vote in the column for voice of a generation, but definitely need to see what else is out there.

goodnight june. sarah jio. (231)

i wish i could remember where i heard about sarah jio's goodnight june. ifi did, i would avoid their recommendations in the future.  okay, that sounds harsh, but this book was corny like hallmark movie corny.  the whole time i was like this would never happen in real life.  in the end, it just got ridiculous and everything cleaned up way too nicely.

i decided to read goodnight june because i had read its story centered around margaret wise brown's goodnight moon.  i was not sure what the premise was exactly but anything involving this classic children's books deserved a read.  in the author's note, jio explained that goodnight moon is her family's favorite and due to this she began to research brown's life.  based on what jio learned about brown, she felt the the two were kindred spirits.  jio explained that there is no information about what inspired goodnight moon and so goodnight june is her fictional background for the beloved classic.  (and in all honesty, i am unsure of brown would have found this charming.  i just read on wikipedia that she was engaged to rockefeller jr. and had a relationship with john barrymore's ex-wife.  this would have been too low-brow for her.)

spoilers alert! but don't worry, you will be happy you read my version versus the actual book.  unless you love hallmark movies, then stop here and read it.

goodnight june opened with june anderson, a thirtysomething, new yorker, in the hospital due to anxiety and stress.  her work was the primary cause of the stress, she worked in finance on foreclosures.  she had no real life other than her job.  she also has no real family.  she no longer speaks to her sister (we don't discover why until the last half of the novel but you know it's because she stole away june's fiancé) and her mother was a single-mom that liked to party so she kind of resents her.

june's aunt ruby passed away, which she had no knowledge of.  this seemed a little ridiculous to me since ruby practically raised june and her sister, giving them some kind of stability.  how did she not call of check up on her in this modern age of technology?!?!  anyway, ruby owned a children's bookstore in seattle, bluebird books, and left it to june.  june flew to seattle intend on selling the store. however, june met a man, gavin and discovered via a quasi-scavenger hunt that ruby was bff with margaret brown wise and helped inspired goodnight moon.  with this new knowledge and love, june decided to keep the bookstore but then is faced with the new dilemma of the store being foreclosed.

i enjoyed reading about june on her little scavenger hunt.  i also enjoyed the correspondence between ruby and brownie (brown's nickname.) i, especially, enjoyed how the letters were hidden in first edition books alluded to in the letters.  it also made realize that brown is more than just the runaway bunny and goodnight moon and that i have a lot of catching up to do when it comes to he works.  i must add the operation sisterhood got a bit preachy and redudent.  and towards the end, the goodnight moon suggestions from ruby seemed a little ridiculous, ie "there should be a phone to demonstrate the connection between the  inside world and the outside world" or "instead of porridge you should consider the word 'mush'".  i also how did june not noticed that the inside of bluebird books looked like goodnight moon, especially she it was her sister's favorite.  the first mentioned of those green and yellow curtains, i knew where this story was headed.  

if the story was just the letters and june saving the bookstore, i would have enjoyed it the story.  however, there were other subplots that were just absurd.

first, gavin.  amy needed a love interest but seriously one that told her i love you after three weeks?!?!? if i man did that i would be on the first flight back to seattle.  and then the fact that he still owned a business with his ex-fiancée?!?! which isn't that bad but as a means to help out june he offered to turn his restaurant next door into a joint cafe with the bookstore.  can he stop mixing business with pleasure?!?!  gavin though sweet seemed too perfect, too perfect.  i mean when when june becomes a mom (yes, just wait for that story!) he was all ready to settle down and be a family!  he broke off an engagement and now wants to play house??!?  did not seem realistic! the only thing i liked about how was his ability to make pasta.

so yes, june became a mom.  get ready for this whirlwind story that took place in one chapter.  so while reading about operation sisterhood, june thought about her relationship with amy.  she was hurt and could not forgive her.  gavin got in contact with amy and with the help of june's mom, they finally informed june that amy was pregnant . . . and had cancer!!!  i kid you not!  so they rushsd june to the hospital where amy was.  june forgave amy, and then amy asked june to be her baby's mom when she dies.  june said yes and somehow un-iced her heart and started being super affection calling amy, honey. i get it, i always say that sisters can fight like no other but then make up like nothing.  but seriously this plot was introduced and cleaned up so quickly and too nicely.  oh and i should add the baby was from one-night stand not from june's ex-fiancé.  the whole time i was reading, i was like omg this can not be happening.  serious hallmark movement moment.  and it was so random, it came out of nowhere and then it was tidied up, amy died and june had a new baby, ruby and the story went on to get more ridiculous.

in the letters, ruby revealed that bluebird books was bought for her by her lover.  this rich guy anthony that was married with a kid.  jio spun the story so that anthony was truly in love with his mistress, ruby.  when june discovered this, she sent an email to anthony's daughter, may (yes, their names hold significance, though i would have preferred if it was just as i originally thought that jio was unimaginative).  i thought june was an idiot for sending that email because a) what if may fought her for rights to the store and b) why stir up the pass when all parties are now dead.  but she visited with may which felt odd and even talked with anthony's widow, like there was absolutely nothing wrong with bringing up her husband's lover.  like everyone would be so willing to talk about something that ruined their lives.  from this visit, may told june that ruby had a child.

june then went on a search for ruby's child.  she posted online to try to find them and even met one man but since he was black, it was not a good lead.  also here is probably the best example of how bad jio's writing is, the man was described as a "young denzel washington."  i kid you not.  no one other character was given a point of reference description.  just the black guy.

okay, and here is when i almost stopped reading . . . in the end, it was discovered that june was ruby's baby!!! gasp!!  what? yes! and if i was june, i would have felt like an ass for neglecting my mom/aunt all those years.  but yes that is what happened in the end.

in the end, the bookstore was saved.  based on the goodnight moon connection, june held a fundraiser.  the local newspapers feature a story, then the news and even cnn. bill gates and clive cussler (don't know what he wrote) showed up at the fundraiser.  but still not enough money.  then, june's old boss saved the day! hooray!

goodnight june, was too cheesy to be a great read or for me to recommend.  but i mean if you love hallmark movies please check it out.