i requested adam after seeing it on flavorpill's must reads for june. the premise sounded interesting, adam, a teen visiting his sister for the summer in new york became immersed in the lgbt community and mistaken for a trans person. i imagined a book in which a sheltered young man learned an important life lesson of tolerance and acceptance. this did occur but not in the way that i had expected it.
as i read and definitely once i was done, i wandered how the trans community felt about this work. as an individual outside of the community, adam was very informative, i learned about how trans people identify themselves, the various procedures and methods they use tontransition and during transition and the political issues they support. but at the same time, this teenager lied to an entire community and no one seemed to notice. i mean that can speak to how truly accepting the community is that one can define themselves as they please and no one questions it. however, it can also be framed as adam exploiting the community which is extremely intolerant.
i felt very uncomfortable reading about adam lying, to the point where i had to put the book down. i know that in the end, gillian knew the truth all along, but that does not make adam's lying acceptable. i was completely shocked that adam had sex with gillian without him telling gillian that he was not trans. i felt that adam violated gillian by not telling her the truth about his identity. and i know people lie all the time about other factors ie wealth, relationship status, love, etc. to have sex with others, but i think one should be aware of their partner's gender prior to their having sex. even though adam used a dildo, i still felt that he took advantage of gillian. call me old-fashioned, but i do believe that you should be honest with the people you have sex with.
and i guess this is what schrag wanted to bring into question. after i read adam. i googled to see how the trans community felt about this book and came across and article on book slut. in it, the interviewer brought up the fact that he (i hope i am using the proper pronoun) does not feel the need to disclose that he was trans before having sex with someone, however, after reading adam, the interviewer needed to rethink this. i personally believe that a trans person should reveal that they are trans. i know that it's insensitive to request it since they are the gender that they identify with, but i think the other individual should know. i know there is the risk of rejection due to this knowledge, but ideally we should have sex with people who accept us for who we are. and i mean this for everyone, trans, cis, straight, gay, call me old-fashioned (again), but sex should be with people that appreciate you for being yourself. (sorry that got really preachy). i have never dated or had sex with a trans person so i can not say how i would react if i met a guy that i really liked, only to go home and found out he was born a girl. if i really liked the guy, i would hope that i would be okay with it, but to be honest, i probably would be weirded out by it. i don't know how i would react, but i would be glad that they were honest with me, instead of penetrating me with a dildo. the dildo penetration, which i thought of as penis, i would view as a violation of my body. i am not sure where it would fall on the spectrum of sexual violence, but to an extend, it would need to be frame so because i was consenting to having sex with a man and not a woman with a dildo. i mean if it as a cis man that penetrated me with a dildo without my consent, i would definitely frame that as rape. and this is essentially what adam did. i don't know. i hope i am not being insensitive, i just don't know what i would do if i was in gillian's position. i guess to certain extent, your intuition would tell you, but still. i know i would not be as cool about it as gillian. i think i would be insulted more about being lied to then anything else in terms of identity.
and i have to add, adam was annoying at times. i felt bad for the guy, i mean he was a teenager and they are that horrible, but sometimes i was like some trying so hard kid and be yourself. in the end, he did learn to be himself. i did think it was great that he became interested in gender identity. all in all, an interesting read and a look into a subculture that the mainstream is not familiar with. i also highly recommend reading the book slut interview after reading the book.
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