so this work is categorized as a memoir but i feel like it's more than that. each chapter starts off with an event from moran's life but the lesson learned can be applied to all of us.
there is so much for me to write about, maybe i will go through chapter by chapter. well maybe just favorite chapters.
"i become furry" in this chapter, moran discussed when her pubic hair began to grow and how she would shave it because she was scared of growing up and of course it. this segues into a discussion on how we women work so hard to be hairless. she shares how so much planning occurs when women go to a party via a conversation with a friend, which made me laugh cos it is so true. her friend uncertain if she is going to sleep with this guy after a party, doesn't know if and when she should get waxed. seriously it's such a bitch to have to deal with pubic hair. you know my hurt hand? it's from me trying to wax my upper life by myself before meeting up with a boy i thought i was in love with. i mean i have given up on daily maintenance for my bush that only gets spruced up when i think someone is going to see it. (if i was in a committed relationship, it would only get spruced up on special occasions, hence why i might still be single.) but i feel like i should have pubic hair, i'm an adult woman not a prepubescent child. i refuse to be completely hairless down there, i mean i do clean it up when it needs to be but for the most part i let it be. also nipple hair, i used to be so embarrassed by mine, but then now i just shave it when i need to. i am a person, we have hair. i mean the one on top of my head is quite lovely. i think that should be the main focus. and just like moran shared at the end, when she lost her virginity, the man did not care what the state of her pubic hair was. its like my friend peter would always tells us in college, guys don't care if your underwear matches your bra, its just going to end up coming off anyway.
"i don't know what to call my breast". this of course discussed finally getting breast and how they are referred to as. this lead into a discussion on what to call your vagina. i for one use vagina. as a child growing up, our family didn't give it a nickname it was just our private part. but what caused my decision to use vagina as the term to refer to my vagina was that one time at my work, a little girl told one of my tutor's that her vagina hurt. the tutor was so surprised by her use of vagina, but i mean the girl was right that was what she had. we told her mom, it turns out she had been having some urinary issues and the mom also explained that she didn't want her daughter to use some silly term for her vagina so had her call it that. i decided to do the same.
"i am a feminist". so i have been on a bit of feminist kick since last year, after reading bad feminist, i have always seen myself as a feminist, but i feel like i am truly embracing it and this book reminded me why we need to reclaim this title. as i shared on my instagram page:
love her for this!! but seriously this book isn't some feminist agenda, well it kinda is, but it's really just some good ol' girl talk about women issues. though i will say i didn't always agree with what moran wrote, but then again, i don't have to, part of this new feminism is allowing acceptance of all ideas as long as progress is being made for women. but if you are a woman and you want to be treated as an equal, then guess what, you are a feminist!
"i am in love", caitlin shared her horrible boyfriend that she thought she could change and from which she took abuse because she thought it was love. we all have had this type of situation. i blame romantic comedies for making us think we can change men that really aren't good for us.
"i go lap-dancing". i felt guilty when i read it, because i have always been a bit of a "cool" girl, a guy's i mean strip clubs are gross, its a place men go to have women dance for them.
"i get into fashion" fashion is expensive and i like moran don't spend a lot on handbags. she did once and it was stolen. though i am glad she wrote about how horrible heels are. i really wish i could walk in them. i recently discovered that my arch doesn't rest completely on the arc of the shoe so this might be why i can't wear heels. or maybe i am flat foot, i don't know. i need to go see someone to verify this.
"abortion" what i admired about this piece was that moran was completely honest about having an abortion. she didn't have one because she was too young, or unwed, or even sick, but because she knew she could not handle having another child. that sounds horrible and insensitive but its honest. she discussed how there is a notion of "good aids" ie someone getting it via blood transfusion and "bad aids" someone that gets its via drug needles. the same kind be said for abortion. moran got what some would consider a "bad abortion." it appears selfish, but not all women are mothers, trust me i have worked with kids my whole life and some people are truly unfit to be mothers. why bring a child into the world if you can not care for it like a mother should? i know it sounds insensitive because life is life, a baby didn't choose to be born, but at the same time there is so much suffering in the world, why add to it. at the end of the day, it's the pregnant woman's choice, she is the only one that can make the right decision for herself. it might not be something that everyone agrees with, but then again are only truly responsible for ourselves.
moran discussed a handful of other topics as well, pornography, childbirth (her first birth really grossed me out, i couldn't read it), bras, role models, and plastic surgery. oh and growing up in the nineties, she writes alot about the riot grrl movement, which i need to revisit. my roommate samira introduced me to bikini kill and bratmobile, so i have a taste but i need to get some more!
i just realized that this blog is about how my life relates to what she wrote about versus analysis of what she wrote. but you need to read it and enjoy it yourself! and all in all though it does explain how to be a woman, in the end, we learn that moran just wants to be a human, just one of the "guys" (which i think discredits her notions of feminism, because it still holds up equality on male terms. but hey you can't win them all. and regardless, this was funny book to read, so i forgive her!
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