bark: stories. lorrie moore. (191)

bark is the third book i have read by lorrie moore for my personal goal of reading all of her books.  it is also moore's most recent book.  and though i am not familiar with her entire catalog, so far this is my least favorite.  i didn't enjoy this collection of short stories as much as i did self-help and birds of america.  the stories are melancholy, but then again my favorite story in birds was, so i am also going to blame it on age.  moore's characters are divorced or in trial separations, or struggling to connect to their teenage kids or connecting too well.  i couldn't relate to them because i haven't been through their life experiences (btw, i need to google but with all of the divorcees in this book, i wonder if moore went through one.)  though i must admit that that wasn't the complete problem for the most part i felt that moore's witty that i enjoyed in her previous works was missing in this one.

i will give her kudos for the clever title.  bark, a multiple meaning word, is utilized in every story somehow.  my favorite use of bark was in the last story, thank you for having me, in which it is explained that the bark of the brain (which does look like bark) is grey but the inside is white.  i never knew that the outside of layer of the brain was called bark! 

of all the stores, i enjoyed "the juniper tree" the most.  it is the story of woman who does not visit her friend, robin, on the eve of robin's death.  i was disappointed with that character for not going, it was extremely selfish of her to not put forth the effort.  as result of her not seeing robrin before she died, she then has a dream in which she is reunited with robin's ghost.  an obvious display of her needing to settle her conscience.  the exchange with the robin's ghost and the friends was odd.  however, what stood out for me was the story at the end.  the woman shared how she visited robin at her home one day and when she left, robin smashed her own face into a pie.  robin explained "i always wanted to do that, and now i have."  i admired robin for that, you have to do what you want in life regardless of how silly or messy it might be.  better to live than to regret.  this story is also dedicated to nietzchka keene, who i hope did the pie thing in real life.

and i guess the overarching theme of bark is regret.  all of the characters are dealing with some form of regret and guilt.  and i guess moore wants us to know that is tarnishes the soul, which explains why i found these stories depressing.   one of moore's characters addressed regret directly in the story, "subject to search". the story is a conversation between a spy and his lover before he leaves for a mission.  i didn't find the story particularly interesting but there was a great quote in the flashback at the end of the story.  at a christmas party when the spy and his lover were still with their spouses (actually they might still be with them), the woman tells the spy "unless you have a life of great importance . . . regrets are stupid, crumpled-up tickets that has already left town."  and i think this is the heart of this collection.  we are to see the errors of the characters and their regrets and learn to not regret and to move out.  all of these individuals are stuck somehow and holding onto something that can now never be realized and instead of moving on, they simply stay wallowing in their regret.  though i should clarify that i think moore wants us to regret what we never did not regret what we have done.  we should hit ourself with the pie and regret, not regret that we never hit ourself with a pie.  actually maybe instead of a divorce, moore just went through a mid-life crisis like the gentleman in the first story.

in this light, i appreciate the life lesson that moore is expressing but at the end of the day, i just wasn't entertained by her stories.  

other than the brain bark, the circus/regret quotes, the only other entertainment i found was in foes, the exchange between the elderly couple in the story: 

"let's make a dash for it now!"

"let's scream 'fire!'"

"let's fake heart attacks!"

"do you have any pot?"

"we flew here--remember? i wouldn't bring pot on an airplane."

"we're losing our sense of adventure. in all things."

"this is an adventure!"

"you see, that's what i mean."

how great is that?  that is the moore wit i love but was absent in this book.  i mean maybe i will read it in 15 years and i will be in tears but right now, it wasn't for me.  but i will take the pie lesson to heart and do what i always want to do.

oh and ps i was totally grossed about by the mom and son in debarking.  ewwwwww.

birds of america. lorrie moore. (188)

after reading lorrie moore's self-help earlier this year, i decided to read the rest of her works.  i then saw that bj novak mentioned birds of america in an interview, so decided to start there for my next read.  and yes bj novak aka @picturesoftext totally liked my picture on instagram (he follows me!)

i must admit that birds of america did not wow me right off the bat like i had expected.  i was really wow-ed by self-help, and though the writing is great but spoke to me.  

i valued the mother-daughter dynamic of which is more than i can say about some people, i allowed me to step back and see my mother as a person versus an annoyance.  that sounds harsh but it is true, we are often overwhelmed by our parents that we forget that they are human too with fears and needs.  we, children are so selfish assuming that they are their simply to provide for us since that is the role they have had since birth, we never think of their life before their title as mother.  

i enjoyed the raccoon story of dance in america:

"we have raccoons sometimes in our chimney," explains simone . . . "and once we tried to smoke them out.  we lit a fire, knowing they were there, but we hoped that the smoke would cause them to scurry out the top and never come back.  instead, they caught on fire and came crashing down into our living room, all charred and in flames and running madly around until they dropped dead." simone swallows some wine. "love affairs are like that," she says.  "they are all like that."

so true about love affairs, sometimes people tell us they don't want us and yet we go crashing full head into heartache and rejection.  i am usually the raccoon, professing my love that someone doesn't want, but still tries to pursue them and ending up killing my heart.

i adored the introduction to community life because up until high school, i would mispronounce library.

"when olena was a little girl, she had called them lie-berries--a fibbing fruit, a story store--and now she had a job in one."  and how cute, a story store!  i also enjoyed the tom swifties (which i had never heard of prior to this story) that olena and her co-workers came up with:

"i have to go to the hardware store, he said wrenchingly."

"would you like a soda? he asked spritely."

"this hot dog's awful, she said frankly."

"she's a real dog, he said cattily."

"i like a good sled dog, she said huskily."

so clever!

real estate was an odd little story but i did love that one of the characters sang "you are my lucky star" from singin' in the rain which is my favorite songs from that musical!

great writing but nothing that truly wow'd me . . . until i read people like that are the only people here.  a tragic yet beautiful story of a mother and father dealing with their infant son's cancer.  throughout the story the father tells the mother that she should take notes since she is a writer.  due to this, i googled to see if this was based on moore's actual life (i know, i know, all novels and stories are semi-autobiographical) and it was based on her life.  after i learned this, i recognized that the beauty of this piece is due to its honesty.  the mother, father and baby are called just that which makes the story relatable and less specific to moore though it is a story straight from her life.  she captured the confusion, pain, stress, and emotions of having a loved one in the hospital.  i had flashbacks to when my grandma bea was in the heart hospital as i read.  it really makes you wonder why we suffer so much as humans, how god can put anyone through any of this.  not only the person that is ill but their family members as well.  it seemed insensitive when the surgeon's explained that the mother would suffer more than the baby during this time, but it is true.  i am not a mother but was able to empathizes with the mother in the story since moore did not shy away from all the thoughts that a mother in this situation, good and bad.  thankfully the baby comes out of this story well.  though i did feel as though moore sold her soul a bit with the ending, in which the story closes with "there are the notes.  now where is the money?"  which i mean if moore was being completely honest, let her sell this story for money for her son, i would contribute.  and though it is difficult for anyone to be completely honest, i am glad that moore shared this story.

all in all, an enjoyable collection and look forward to reading more from moore.   

self-help. lorrie moore (168)

i picked up self-help by lorrie moore because it was featured in flavorpill's 20 books every woman should read in her 20s article.  i was very disappointed with myself because being 30 years old, i have only read 3.  i decided i needed to change that asap and requested self-help because i liked the cover featured:
 

 it reminded me of damien hirst's medicine cabinets.  unfortunately, i did not get that cover, but as you saw, that bad 80s cover.  and it was even more unfortunate because it was a bit embarrassing to reading in public, i imagined people finding it sad that i was reading out-dated advice.  though i have to admit i was being a little tongue-n-cheek with my reading.  i figured i needed to end the first month of the year with self-help since new years are always about self-improvement.  and flavorpill was right again, saying:

i did love the structure of the titles stories ie "how to be the other woman", "the kid's guide to divorce", and "how to talk to your mother (notes)".  

the story that looked up at the ceiling and commiserated with me was "how to talk to your mother (notes)" for those of you who know me, you know this is something that i do need help with.  my mother and i fight like cats and dogs and her number one complaint is that i don't know how to talk to her properly.  which is true my mom can be passive aggressive times which drives me crazy.  but back to the story, it's the tale of a woman and the life that she has lost.  the story moves backwards in time. we start at the nearest present and move our way back with each paragraph, finding out the cause to the effect we had just read. the narrator starts out/ends up childless and alone without her mother, by moving backwards we discover her mother was sick and moved in with her, she fell out of love, she had three abortions, she lost her father and her grandmother.  we also return to when she excited and still hopeful about life.  ultimately we end up at the beginning of her life when she was able to communicate with her mother without words.  for me, this life made me aware of how things never end up as we had planned.  i look at my life and when i was 18, never thought i would end up where i am but i have.  there is no one to really blame but myself.  am i happy to certain extent yes, but do i want more success? yes.  how does ambition dissolve? i used to have so many goals in life and then i started to settle on just being okay.  when and how does settling happen?  this sorry though sad gave me comfort, letting me know that i am not alone in being disappointed with my life and i am still young enough to change things around.

all the other stories are sad, tragic tales of women trying to sort out life; a woman dealing with being the other woman and the opposite the insecurity of thinking your husband is cheating, a daughter learning the importance of love within a marriage from the mistakes of her mother, a woman with a terminally ill disease planning her own death, and a woman you who appeared to have it all, wanting more and then ending up with nothing.  but all help in the sense that one can see what to avoid or correct their behavior on what they see.  i think the majority of lessons taught is that you must do what is best for yourself versus live in the façades of what society deems appropriate. you also need to be honest with yourself because that is how your life becomes a façade.

aside from these life lessons, i think the true beauty of these stories is moore's prose which reads like poetry.

so many great metaphors:

that is what is wrong with cold people. not that they have ice in their souls - we all have a bit of that - but that they insist every word and deed mirror that ice. they never learn the beauty or value of gesture. the emotional necessity. for them, it is all honesty before kindness, truth before art. love is art, not truth. it's like painting scenery.

love drains you, takes with it much of your blood sugar and water weight. you are like a house slowly losing its electricity, the fans slowing, the lights dimming and flickering; the clocks stop and go and stop.

on on being a mistress:  it is like having a book out from the library.  it's like constantly having a book out from the library.

but perhaps the best advice from these short stories is:  

after four movies, three concerts, and two-and-a-half museums, you sleep with him. It seems the right number of cultural events.

okay i am just being cheeky but this is good advice!

but a great book and a wonderful start to me refocus for 2014.  also this is a great book for a woman to read at any age.