the witch of blackbird pond. elizabeth george speare. (317)

after seeing the goosebumps movie, i went looking for goosebumps books at the library.  unfortunately, they didn't have any, but fortunately the word witch caught my eye, so i decided to check out the witch of blackbird pond.  though it wasn't exactly the kind of horror show i was looking for halloween, it was a wonderful book!

sadly, i never read the witch of blackbird pond, as a kid, but glad i did as an adult. set in the 17th century, the novel tells the story of a young girl, kit.  after the death of her grandfather, she left barbados to live with her aunt and her family in a colony in connecticut.  in barbados, kit lead a life of luxury, but she must adjust to the spartan life style of the purtians. god and work lead life and kid initially has a difficult time adjusting.

the witch part of the books comes when kit befriended the town's "witch", hannah tupper, who lived by blackbird pond.  hannah was a quaker and since their beliefs did not align with that of the purtians, she and her husbands were branded and sent from their previous town.  the people of kit's colony, regarded her as a witch, and people were forbidden to interact with her.  one day, kit sad about getting her cousin  mercy in trouble, ran out toward the pond crying.  hannah took her in and gave her advice. kit, then began visiting hannah regularly, after learning her friend, nate from her voyage to america, was hannah's friend as well.  

things started to go well for kit, the wealthiest boy in colony, wanted to marry her.  she and mercy continue with their school.  however, it all fell apart when kids began to get sick and die and hannah was blamed. kit helped hannah escape only to end up on trial for being a witch!

in the end, it all worked out because hey, this is a children's novel.  there was even a double wedding kind deal and a third engagement, which i found odd, but it was a different time.

this book is a must read for any and every girl.  kit is a wonderful role model for girls, she goes to the beat of her own drum, regardless of the scrutiny of others.  kit, also, has a heart of gold and demonstrates we should always do what is right versus what religion or society may tells us.

this book also gives an important lesson religious tolerance.  someone may not have the same beliefs as us, but that does not make them evil.  also organized religious can do a lot more harm then good when corrupted by those wanting power.

lastly, this book is a great introduction to the topic of the salem witch trials for kids.  it got me interested in the topic and i plan on reading more about these crazy accusations.  it was shocked with the novels initially introduction of witch like behavior. not seemed so silly for people to freak out because kit can swim.  no one was logical and assumed she could because it was customary in barbados.  furthermore, it was crazy to see the accusations that came up in trial, people accused of bewitching animals?!?! i know it made me grateful to have not been born in that era, because i would have definitely been labelled a witch!  it's sad though to think of the women that were burned at stake or drowned on these false accusations. 

this book is a truly great read and a must for everyone, especially women of all ages! 

lila. marilynne robinson. (264)

i picked up lila because it was on everyone's best of 2014 list and it won national book critics circle award as i was reading it, yet it didn't speak to me like it did to everyone else. it took me three weeks to read this book and it's only 261 pages.  i honestly thought i would quickly read it so i could get started on another book but i couldn't get into the story.

lila was the story of lila, who as a child was kidnapped (though her family was not doing a good job of caring of caring for her) by a woman, doll who cared for her.  she ended up in the town of gilead, which is the subject of other books by robinson) and married a minister, who was very much her senior.  it is then through flashbacks that we learn of lila's life, her time with doll, her suffering during the dust bowl era, her time in a whorehouse, and doll's arrest and disappearance.  lila had a rough life and as a result is bitter and lonely.  her relationship with the minister helped her grow as person and to learn to love.  it also allowed a raising of insightful theological questions like why does god allow people to suffer? the minister answered but nothing to truly satisfy lila or the reader, the usual trust in god's plan for us.  it was an interesting story but was slow in its development, it's only 261 pages but the first half is all lila

not ready to be honest with the minister. this slowness caused me to become bored with the book, which made it easy to put down.

and there is no denying that lila was beautiful written but i also had an issue with the sequence of the story, i constantly had to go back and forth to figure out if the present or the past was being referenced. and i never understand half of the things that were suppose to be inferred because descriptions were so vague. for example, the child's birth at the end, there were complications but it read as though the child had died though he didn't, so i was confused as to what had happen during child birth but it was never explained.  this vagueness plagued the book as well, but primarily due to lila not being very certain of anything that happen in her life, which is sad now that i think about.

lila was not for me, i think i will revisit it when i am a little bit longer in the tooth, but as of right now it, i didn't enjoy it.

brown girl dreaming. jacqueline woodson. (260)

i checked out jacqueline woodson's brown girl dreaming after i read that it won the national book award for young people's literature.  i remember seeing articles about someone making an offensive joke at the awards ceremony but regardless was still excited for

it's win and couldn't wait to read it.

this book was truly amazing.  it is a collection of poems which made me weary, because i am not good with poetry. however, it was free verse and read more like prose then poetry.  as a whole, the poems are a memoir, sharing woodson's life growing up in both the north and south during the civil rights era.  the poems also share woodson's childhood dream of becomig a writer.

i initially considered getting this book as a gift for my friend tiffany but figured i should read a book first before i gift it.  i really wish i had just given it to her.  the beginning of the book reminded me of her parents.  her father grew up in the south and her mother in california and just like jacqueline's parents, their experiences with discrimation and racism in america differed.  papa gibson is always telling us stories about how it was in the south and mama gibson shares how she never experienced any of that.  woodson's father's family in the north lived in a very different america then her mother's family in the south. it was inspiring to see how woodson's family from the north had a long string of professionals in their family which fueled a desire for success for the younger generations.  yet at the same time it was frustrating to see her mother's family still suffering from discrimination due to jim crow laws. 

brown girl dreaming is more then just a memoir because through her poems woodson tells a part of america's history that normally goes untold or unstudied.  her poems covered the meetings held by marchers, the training necessary for lunch counter sit-ins, the rise of the black panther movement, choosing to wear one's hair natural, there was even a poem about angela davis.  woodson gave voice to the black experience in america. 

her poems also shared woodson's personal history, her time as a baby in ohio, then in the south when her parents divorce and finally in new york.  due to this i connected to the poems personally. since woodson was raised by her grandparents in the south, i related to the poems about them.  some of her poems reminded me of my grandma bea and grandpa jimmy.  "the blanket" woodson shared how when her mom first left for new york, they were not sad because:

. . . the weight 

of our grandparents' love like a blanket

with us beneath it

safe and warm.

though my mother was a single mom, i never felt at a disadvantage because my grandparents' love was greater than i would have had from my father.

"two gods, two worlds" reminded me of my grandpa jimmy.  he was a muslim and i was raised mormon.  as i have shared before, i didn't understand why we would be separated in heaven simply because of our faiths shouldn't our love for each other be more important?  in this poem, woodson who is jehovah wondered what will happen to her grandfather based in lessons she learned about armageddon.  the poem ended with

but i want the world where my daddy is

and don't know why

anybody's God would make me

have to choose.

"bubble-gum cigarettes"

this is exactly how i felt when i realized that my grandfather and i could never be sealed together as the lds church believes is the way for families to stay together in heaven.  i couldn't believe god could be so heartless in dividing up families when we have no choice in who we are sent to and then develop love for each other only to be split up in heaven based on faith.

and since jill was technically my grandpa's favorite all of the poems woodson shared about her grandpa reminded me of my sister and my grandpa.  

the other poems i enjoyed were:

"south carolina at war" in which her grandfather explained to woodson and her siblings why the protesting was going on in the south.  it closes with 

Because you're colored, my grandfather says.

And just as good and bright and beautiful and free as anybody.

and nobody colored in the South is stopping,

my grandfather says,

until everybody knows what's true.

"ghosts" which shared how "whites only" signs were painted over in greenvills except for the bathrooms when a lot of paint wasn't used so the words were "like a ghost standing in front still keeping you out."

"lessons" about how woodson's mom never learned to cook because instead of learning, she wanted to play outside like the boys.  mama realized it wasn't fair that the boys played while the girls were inside, a step forward for feminism though a step back for mom (because know she doesn't know how to cook.)

"stevie and me" in which at the library, woodson discovered stevie which featured characters that looked like her.  she shared:

I'd never believed 

that someone who looked like me

could be in the pages of the book

that someone who looked like me

had a story.

"learning from langston" in which woodson demonstrated how she mimicked hughes' poems to learn how to write.

"music" which shared how woodson's mom didn't let them listen to songs that had the word funk, so they listened to white radio stations.

how too listen #8 

do you remember . . .?

someone's always asking

and someone else, always does.

"the revolution" which likens the revolution to a merry-go-round.

"every wish, one dream" in which woodson wishes on everything to be a writer. (which we all know comes true!)

reading this book was a wonderful experience and i learned so much from it, i can only imagine what young adults will gain.  i highly recommend this book and hope you enjoy it as i much as i did.

blankets. craig thompson. (253)

blankets has been on my to read list for a very long time.  however, when i saw it on time's 100 best young adult books, i decided to finally check it out.

i really wish that i had read this when it first came out in 2003.  i identified with craig and would have enjoyed reading this closer to when i went through a similar experience.  blanket is an semi-autobiographical graphic novel about thompson's experience growing up in a religious household and his first love.  what i identified with was craig's questioning of his faith and the church leaders insistence on following christian path.  my questioning of my religion, as i discussed before was due to the church views on homosexuality and how i thought it was unfair that families were separated unless they were sealed in the temple.  for craig it was contradiction in the bible and the realization that though the bible may be the word of god it had been filtered through men.  also reading his pastor advise him against going to art school due to the possibility of exposure to nude models and the risk of becoming a homosexual, reminded me of an conversation i had once with a girl i went to church with.  (i may have shared this before in another post, so i apologize for being redundant.  a girl i went to church camp asked me where i was going to school, and i told her ucla.  she then asked me what i was going to do.  i explained study history.  but she asked again, but you go to byu to get married, how are you going to get married.  i think i just smiled as a response.  though i will say that i am grateful for being raised mormon.  as child growing up, we did not fear god, but saw jesus as a loving savior, and were not made to be scared of hell as i saw with craig.

but college was an eye opening experience for me, like craig.  i wasn't born in a completely rural area like him, but being exposed to the big city of los angeles, allowed me to realize that there was more out in the world.

the story of his first love was sweet and like should happen with all first loves, he grew as a person.  he was able to see the world for as it was and not for what he was told it was.  i think the greatest thing was that he reconnected with his brother after seeing how close raina was with her siblings.  it was nice to see them become friends in the end.  (i should also note know it was really difficult to read about his brother's molestation as a child.  craig should have done something, but easier said then done because he was a child himself, but still sickening to read.)

i also found it disheartening to read about raina's adoptive siblings.  i think it was wonderful that her parents decided to adopt two children with disabilities, however, their reasoning behind it seemed unsound.  they adopted the ben and laura as a thank you to god for blessing them with two children.  a beautiful gesture, but neither one were equipped to take care of them.  and in the end, resulted in their divorce and the responsibility becoming that of raina.  i might sound insensitive, but you should adopt to truly help a child not to prove a point about how blessed you are. 

but a wonderful coming of age story and beautiful illustrations.  i also loved that the library was a tool in helping craig discover the world and who he was.  definitely a top young adult book!

  

like no other. una lamarche. (225)

unfortunately, once again, i don't remember the website that recommended una lamarche's like no other but the premise, an hasidic girl falling in love with a west indian boy after a chance meeting sounded interesting.  just like i am racist reader in the sense that i like indian authors, i do the same thing with jewish characters, which is one of the reasons i decided to check out this ya novel.  i was intrigued, because i had no idea how the orthodox girl was going to make this relationship work!

the novel switches back and forth between narratives from the star-crossed lovers, devorah, a 16-year-old, goody two-shoes, hasidic girl and jax, a nerdy yet responsible, west indian boy.  they met one night when trapped in an elevator at a hospital.  devorah was at the hospital to help her older sister, rose, who was in labor.  jax was there because his friend was injured skateboarding.  however, the trouble with their relationship started right off the bat, with their chance meeting.  being trapped in an elevator with jax was a violation of devorah's religion, it was a violation of yichud.  females are not allowed to be alone with another male.  the law also restricts talking to males, so devorah tried to not talk to jax but being trapped in an elevator she decided to, to not be rude.  they actually had a great talk, devorah explained her religion and they even flirted a bit.  their meeting ended with them listening to the shirelles on jax's phone.  this was also a violation because devorah's parents did not allow her to have a phone, watch tv, or listen to music.  when the power came back on they went their separate ways not thinking anything more would happen between them.

however, they both can not stop thinking about each other.  devorah was actually the one that saw to their meeting again.  she stopped by jax's work while running an errand for her father.  this meeting was the beginning of their sneaking around to see each other.  devorah had to keep it a complete secret due to her religion.  jax lied because in order to see her he had to miss work, thus lying to his boss and mom about where he was.  it was difficult at first because they did not have any means of communication because of devorah's family's no technology rule.  however, she snuck onto facebook to message him and jax later gave her phone.  it was difficult but they managed as best they can. 

in the end, they are caught while trying to runaway for the weekend.  devorah's brother-in-law, jacob, who in my opinion was an asshole though i have to recognize that he was just following his religion so i can't hate him too much.  and this is no disrespect to hasidic judasim but his behavior seemed outrageous because i am an outsider.  i can't imagine my husband not being allowed to touch me after childbirth because my body has bleed, i get it for periods but not for childbirth.  and his racism though inexcusable was due to his culture.  however, his beating up jax and then lying about it was extremely uncalled for and i was shocked that jax's mother did not go after them.  

due to their discovery, devorah's family sent her away.  she believed that it was to rehabilitate her and make her more faithful but in fact, they had sent her to be matched for marriage.  jax then went off to try to save her.  in the end, devorah realized that though she loved jax, they could never be together due to her religions.  she could not give up her faith for him.  

i admired this ending, because it felt real.  as much as i wanted everything to work out for devorah and jax, it was impossible.  and though devorah cared for jax, she didn't want to sacrifice her religion and family for him and that is understandable.  she had to do what was best for her and she made the right decision.  i also admired how devorah and jax were very mature about their break up and left the relationship as better people.  i think that is an important lesson for young adults to learn.  not all relationships work out, but instead of being bitter and upset, one should recognize how that person helped you become a better version of you. (and if that relationship was toxic then how you are a better person for leaving it.)  

from devorah, jax gained the self-confidence to be honest about his feelings and also learned how to be a good boyfriend.  from jax, devorah learned that she was capable of more than what her religion alloted for her.  she could be more than a wife and a mother.  she could go to school and she could learn.  her education could be a goal for her instead of marriage.  i admired devorah for asking her family to allow her to continue to her studies.  and i think this ending was better than one that would have been about true love.  it's refreshing to see that the girl did not need the guy for a better life.  

like no other contains wonderful lessons not only demonstrating how we should be tolerant of other cultures and religions but that also girls do not need to be restricted by cultural and religious gender roles.  i hope that young adults pick up this novel, it's a wonderful story that will help them become more thoughtful adults. 

i know why the caged bird sings. maya angelou. (202)

with maya angelou's recent death, i sadly realized, i had never read any of her works.  i did have a copy of i know why the caged bird sings in high school, however, i never read it.  in fact, i'm pretty sure that it is packed away somewhere, i knew it was an important book which makes my deal in reading it even disappointing.  i truly regret not reading it though, i think a better age to have read it would have been 18, considering the episodes of her life that she shared.  but i must add that it is a truly amazing and interesting book, and if you haven't read it, you should.

i have to add that this is the first book that my friend julianna, who is in new york, and i have read together as part of our "long distance book club".  she also admitted to have never read it before either.  our plan was to skype about it last sunday but since skype wasn't working on my computer, we have yet to "meet".  but we will!  i promise.

i was really shocked by what occurred in i know why the caged bird sings and consequently angelou's life since it is an autobiography.  in my head, she was this proper elderly black woman with a great sense of humor (as seen in the chris rock documentary good hair).  due to this image, i imaged her with this very proper (sorry for the lack of an additional adjective, but it is what fits best) upbringing, with access to a education that was uncommon due to the era she was raised in and the color of her skin.  however, this was not the case.  and though shocking angelou's life was to me, it did make sense, the wisdom she had could not have been gained with a silver spoon in her mouth, but rather by the suffering that one has the unfortunate luck of having to encounter in life.

angelou did have a proper upbringing, due to her grandmother, momma, and her devotion to the church.  momma was so devote, in fact that she beat angelou for her use of the slang phrase "by the way" which turned out to also a phrase used to refer to christ.  i was very confused as i read this episode, not knowing that "by the way" was taking the lord's name in vain.  momma was strict but it was just this type of structure that helped make angelou the great woman that she was.  momma was, in my opinion, her saving grace since both her parents were unable to be proper parents (i will get to this later) to angelou and her older brother, bailey.  angelou and bailey were raised by their grandmother and their disabled uncle and given their dedication to the church and hard work, provided a stable home for the two of them.  this is not to say that angelou and bailey did not get into trouble, they did but it was the trouble typical of kids (though bailey's sexcapedes ,when they were older, behind the store are not included here. lol)

angelou's living with momma proved to be the best situation for her and her brother.  when given to the care of her parents, angelou experienced traumatizing incidents that strengthen her will as a person but would have destroyed a weaker person.   i, being an example of such weaker person, as i read what angelou encountered, i thought to myself, i would have never been able to survive.

the first traumatizing experience that occurred when angelou and bailey went to live with their mother.  i was surprised to discovered that she was raped by her mother's boyfriend at the time.  angelou's recounting of the episode was completely honest, sharing how she even longed for the comfort that being held by him provided her.  being a child, she had no idea the intention of his hugging, simply wanting to be held by a father figure.  it makes her raping even more heartbreaking because she was simply looking for love, not knowing how she was going to be taken advantage of.   luckily and thankfully, her family discovered what had occurred and the mother's boyfriend was put on trial, though he only served a year and a couple of months.  outrageous considering that he raped her!  but he ended dying, by angelou's uncles, i am assuming, as how the episode is shared.  though she did suffer a bout of depression and withdrew from the world, and stopped talking.  she ultimately overcame it, thanks to mrs. flowers, a family friend, who shared books with her and helped her find her voice again.  

the other traumatizing experience that occurred was when angelou went to live with her father.  his girlfriend at the time was very young, and disgustingly jealous of angelou.  they ended up physically fighting and as a result, angelou ran away and lived with a bunch of homeless teens in a junk yard.  i was impressed by angelou's ability to survive on her own.  i mean there was no way that i could have ran away from home and taken care of myself. i mean she was part of a little community but still.  

the last thing that surprised me was that i had no idea that angelou was a teen mother.  as angelou shared, she became determined to lose her virginity.  since she did not have a boyfriend, she decided to ask her neighbor to have sex with her.  he consented, they had sex, and she ended up pregnant!  she had the child, a son, and i know why the caged bird sings is dedicated to him.

i always knew maya angelou was an amazing woman, but she truly was!  to endure all that she did and to grow and become a better person from it as a opposed to become a victim, demonstrated what a strong heart she had.  

the stranger. albert camus. (199)

the stranger has been on my to-read list forever now.  i had a third grade teacher recommend it to me once and people are always praising it.  but what persuaded me was a book i purchased for "california bookstore day" which took place may 3.  (i will have to do a post on it because my purchases were adorable.) i purchased depressed, repressed, obsessed: 3-panel book reviews by lisa brown.  after reading the review for the stranger, i decided to read it.

this is an excellent review.

and now for my review, i am not sure to make of it.  i at first read camus as a nihilist since menursault didn't care about anything.  but then i read on wikipedia that camus was like anti-nihilism, but this work was suppose to promote his philosophy of absurd, in which the wikipedia page described as "the conflict between the human tendency to seek inherent value and meaning in life and the human inability to find any." since i got this analysis from wikipedia, i will discuss my initial thoughts after i had finish reading and then my thoughts with this knowledge.

to start, i wasn't sure how to read menursault, i thought maybe he had aspergers because his social and communication skills were poor.  he was unable to articulate how he felt or what he meant, which the reader sees via his conversations and his testimony during the trial.  he had good intentions he was just unable to manifest them in his speech and actions.  for example, he did love marie, but it was as though she was asking him the wrong questions, he was answering her questions sincerely but he was too literal.  he also seemed to lack social graces as demonstrated in his behavior at maman's funeral which was later used against him at trial.

i also do not know how he got involved in the mess that he did with raymond but he did.  but i guess that is the demonstration of the absurd.  things happen and we don't know how or why but there is no need to look for deeper meaning but just take them as the way life turned out.

as horrible and indifferent, menursault sounded throughout the work, he was right.  nothing really matters, well more like everything do not matter.  i get it.  i was disappointed at first because i didn't have this profound "wow" moment like i thought i was (based on others' love of this work), but my lack of one could because my view of life has absurd tendencies.  every time i stress out about something especially regrets, i have to remind myself that in the grand spectrum of things, it doesn't matter because one day i will die and will cease to exist.  its sound horrible and makes me sound depressed but i think it's just a real outlook on life.  especially since i am an insignificant nobody in the grand spectrum of life.  i mean i have meaning to those around me but after my grandchildren die off, no one will really know me, so the decisions that i make day to day don't really matter.  i mean why do i even have this blog.  why do i even read?  i enjoy it so that should be reason enough.  but i think what camus is trying to address is this need to give significance to actions for this an idea of afterlife.  i don't believe in an afterlife, and i admired menursault for refusing to see the chaplain.  i mean he was going to die, god wouldn't be able to save him now.  and really should god be accepting last minute conversions like that?  i feel like god should be more strict about who he forgives and allowed into heaven especially since these conversion come from fear of death versus remorse of actions, but that is a whole other story.

back to the work.  so yes, i do believe in philosophy of absurd, i do have a tendency to be the opposite and also look for signs from the universe, but i recognize that it is absurd.  we shouldn't put some much value and meaning into things that do not have them but there needs to be a balance, you need to find something that makes you happy and it's okay to give that meaning and value, just not everything.  i don't know if this makes sense, but i guess i shouldn't worry because it doesn't really matter if this blog as value or not, since "existance is meaningless."

the butter battle book. dr. seuss. (189)

i picked up the butter battle book in honor of dr. seuss' birthday.  i know, i know, his birthday was back in march, but i am barely getting around to blogging about this book.  what can i say i lagged.  but an accidental book fee (i thought i renewed it online but i hadn't) was the push i needed to finish this blog.

so prior to rereading this as an adult, i remembered the cartoon based on this book versus me reading the actual book. i am not sure where i saw it or how old was, but i do remember that i was really impressed how it was a children's story but also had this deeper meaning (i was unaware of what a metaphor was at the time.)

rereading it as an adult, i recognized the butter battle book as a metaphor for the arms race during the  cold war.  one does not need to dig deep to see that but for a child, it would be something that went over his/her head.  children probably see the lesson of the book as war or fighting being silly, which is correct read as well, and ultimately the message dr. seuss wanted to get across.

the battle of the butter battle book is between the zooks that butter their bread down and the yooks that butter their bread up.  in terms of the cold war, it is a great example of how capitalism and communism are two views that appear to be different but at the heart of the matter simply are a means of economic prosperity.  though i like to see the zook and yooks' buttering as a metaphor for religious ideologies.  at the end of the day, we all believe in god, or eat our bread and butter, we just use different ways of serving him or it.   

there is a wall (see:  berlin wall, iron curtain) that separates the zooks and the yooks.  there is a border patrol that guards both sides of the wall in an attempt to keep the enemy out.  to protect their walls and ideology on bread buttering, both sides build bigger and better weapons, (see:  cold war arms race) though they always ended up creating the same weapons. in the end, they both create a bomb to annihilate the enemy.  the book ends with the guard of the zooks and the guard yooks facing off, allowing the reader to reach their own conclusion about how the battle will end.  i imagine as a child, i was certain that they would not drop their bombs and make peace.  and though the cold war ended up being resolved, the skeptical adult me believes that they will both throw their bombs and end the world out of selfishness.  (i should add i am ready for the apocalypse, not so much because i have lost faith in humanity but because it would be kind of cool to life through the end of the world.)

the butter battle book is an excellent book not only for children but adults as well due to its anti-war message.  it demonstrates how silly (for lack of a better word) war is and how in the end we only end up harming ourselves.  

  

the grapes of wrath. john steinbeck. (144)

 

i follow the penguin truck online and was excited to discover that it was coming to bakersfield!  it would be joining a group of people that will be retracing the route taken by the joad family from john steinbeck's classic, the grapes of wrath.  i am so excited to be able to purchase books from the penguin truck, we know my love of food trucks, now imagine the bookstore equivalent of one!  since the truck would be in bakersfield for an event for the grapes of wrath, i decided i should read it.

as i mentioned in my post for of mice and men, since steinbeck writes about okies, i perceive his book as being lowbrow, in addition to that i figured it might be tedious and boring at times due to its discussion of the dust bowl but how i misjudged.  the grapes of wrath is a beautifully written novel and well deserving of the pulitzer prize.  i was thoroughly surprised how much i enjoyed it but then again steinbeck is an excellent storyteller.

the thing that surprised me was how much truth was in this book.  there were a handful of topics that steinbeck discussed and shed an interesting light on.  i will discuss each topic as they appeared in the book.

first, since tom joad was an ex-con, steinbeck discussed prisons.  growing up in delano and being a frequent rider of the greyhound (they send prisoners home on it), i have very solid opinions on the prison system.  in a nutshell, i think prisoners have too many rights and luxuries.  furthermore, i believe prisons have become a cesspool of corruption and promotes the same immoral lifestyle the prisoners are supposed to be rehabilitated for.  it is often discussed that prisoners become accustomed to prison life and are therefore unable to function in the "real" world.  steinbeck expressed this same idea and i found it interesting that 50 years ago prisons were considered too comfortable for prisoners and that there has been no call for reform.  about 20 pages later, joad explained that he wasn't rehabilitated in prison but would commit the crime just the same if he situation arouse again.  (he killed a man who had started a right with him, the killing was done as self-defense.)

but again a critique of the US prison for not rehabilitating people.  and before you say, but wait tom joad was an honest man but he had that heart the whole time, he didn't gain it in prison.

another character with a heart of gold was pastor casy, he was filled with wisdom and truth.  i valued what he said about sin in a discussion with uncle john.  uncle john wanted to know if it was a sin that he let his wife die.  casy said "well, for anyone else it was mistake but if you think it was a sin--then it's a sin.  a fella builds his own sins right up from the groun'."  this is true, we can not judge our neighbor and label their wrongdoings as sin.  we can only be responsible for ourselves, and we are the only ones who truly know what our sins are and are the only ones that can ask for forgiveness for them.

there was also a great point steinbeck made about bad mouthing parents.  in today's world, there are some many single parents and one thing that happens is the bad mouthing of the other parent.  i have talked with friends about the negative effects of it on kids.  steinbeck wrote that "it ain't good for a baby to grow up with folks a-sayin his pa ain't no good".  if kids do they will internalize what they hear and think themselves to be no-good as well.

another thing that steinbeck wanted to make clear was the fact that when people are in need it's poor people who will help them out.  ma joad told the store owner, 

"i'm learning one good thing.  learning it all the time, ever'day.  if you 're in trouble or hurt or need--got to poor people.  they're the only ones that'll help--the only ones."  

the reason for this is that poor people understand the need.   they have been down and out with no alternatives so when they see others in that situations they try to help.  my mom was homeless for a while because our house went into foreclosure, and she always tries to help others because of that situation.  Steinbeck further demonstrated this by the story of the family and their little boy that died while traveling.  the family did not have enough money to bury him, but the other poor families that were travelling gave what they could to help bury the little boy.  poor people are often seen being needy but in fact they are usually the most charitable. 

in addition to discussing class, steinbeck also discussed gender roles as well.  towards the end of the novel, ma begins to tell pa what needs to happen in order for the family to be safe.  upset by being told what to do, pa said

funny! woman takin' over the fambly.  woman sayin' we'll do this here, an' we'll gothere.  an'i don't even care. 

to which ma responded

'women can change better'n a man . . . woman go all her life in her arms.  man got it all in his head.

later on in their talk she explained, after pa said that life was over and done:

it ain't, pa.  an' that's one more thing a woman knows.  i noticed that.  man, he lives in jerks--baby born an' a man dies, an' that's a jerk--gets a farm an' loses his farm, an' that's a jerk.  woman, it's all one flow, like a stream, little eddies, little waterfalls, but the river, it goes right on.  woman looks at it like that.  we ain't gonna die out.  people is goin' on --changin' a little, maybe, but goin' right on."

maybe i'm must biased because i am woman but we are more flexible than men.  we are more easily adapt to adjust to a new situation than men.  i am not sure why this is and will save that analysis for another day.  and of course our ability to go with the flow, i'm going to say has to do with our period.  if you can endure that once a month, that you have the ability to get on life filled with hope!

perhaps the most famous quote of the grapes of wrath, was tom's joad's speech, he gave when he left his family.  he said,

then, i'll be aroun' in the dark.  i'll be ever'where--wherever you look  wherever they's a fight so hungry people can eat, i'll be there.  wherever they's a cop beatin' up a guy.  i'll be there.   if casy knowed, why, i'll be in the way guys yell when they're mad an'--i'll be in the way kids laugh when they're hungry an' they know supper's ready.  an' when folks eat the stuff they raise an' live in the houses they build--while, i'll be there.  see? god i'm talkin' like casy.  comes of thinkin' about him so much.  seems like I see him sometimes.   

in my high school history class, my teacher was so excited when he shared the rage against the machine song, the ghost of tom joad*.  at the time i loved me some rage against the machine, i even had a band shirt with thequote, "who controls the past now, controls the future . . ." (which i learned found out was actually from 1984, god i was such a tool in high school, lol)  but even then i didn't get the hype.  i mean i thought it was cool that rage decided to be literary in their songs but didn't see why mr. myovich was so excited about sharing it to us, to be honest, i don't recall studying the dust bowl, when he presented the song to us.  however, now as an adult and having read the grapes of wrath, i see how interesting it is that a rap rock band from the 90s decided to have such a politically charged message. 

but back to tom joad's speech, that small speech embodies the greatness of steinbeck.  his words are so simple just they speak volumes (i apologize for being so cliché but it is the best way to define his writing!)  his words are so simple but provoke profound thoughts.  if you look back through the quotes i shared, it reads like hicks talking but there is so much more to the words.

this book is truly a masterpiece and truly deserved the pulitzer.  not only is it a beautiful tale of a family and what they endure to survive, but it works on a whole other level politically about how we treat the lower classes.  this work can applied to all farm workers.  as i read, i was reminded of my grandfather and what he had to endure, not only being a farm worker but also one of color.  the migrant farmers from the midwest had to endure so much hatred that i can't imagine what the mexican and filipino farm workers had to endure since they had to deal with addition of racial prejudices.  i also tried to contextualize it for myself right now.  growing up in delano, which is a migrant farmer worker community, i can admit that i do discriminate against migrant farm workers.  not so much for taking my jobs, this may sound horrible but i always say that my grandfather toiled in the fields so that we didn't have to (meaning we should have a better life because that is what he wanted.)  but for abusing the systems that are in place to help those in need.  being in the school systems i see the amount of aid there is now for the poor and there needs to be reform.  when steinbeck wrote the grapes of wrath, there was nothing to help those in need, however, everyone now just gets a free ride from the government.  if he were to rewrite this today, it would be a different story.  yes, the joads utilized a government camp, which we saw, but we also read how they wanted to be able to make it on their own without the help the government.  if the joads were around today, they still hold tight to their morals and use government assistance to help them get on their feet as opposed to making it their lifestyle and means of income.  there is nothing wrong with working in the fields there is something wrong with abusing government assistance.  my grandfather worked kn the fields and both my grandparents worked to help support my mother and her siblings without any government hand-outs.  aide is fine as long as it is helping those that need it.  the grapes of wrath was not a call to take complete care of the lower classes but rather not to discriminate against them and allow them the opportunity to achieve their american dream. now that i think about it if steinbeck were to write this today it would be a tale of the 99 percent against the 1 percent.  

but politics aside, this is a truly wonderful book and if you have not read it, make sure to pick it up!!!

also it's banned book, for god knows why?  maybe the call to stand against a unjust government and unfair economy?  not sure, but it should not be banned but read and studied as a part of american history.  

*i just now, thanks to wikipedia discovered that this song is actually by bruce springsteen

are you there god? it's me, margaret. judy blume.

thanks to a flavorpill post, i learned that june 17 is blumesday, a day to honor author judy blume.  it's a play on june 16 which is bloomsday, a day to celebrate author james joyce; his work "ulysses" is set on june 16, 1904.  

since i loved reading judy blume books as a preteen (we didn't have the term "tween" back than), i decided to read "are you there god? it's me, margaret" to celebrate blumesday.  (and the copy in the photo is my original copy that i read when i was a preteen!)

as hopefully you all know from your own reading, "are you there god? it's me, margaret" is about a girl in sixth grade, margaret, and her journey through the tougher parts of being a girl: shopping for a first bra, waiting to get a period because everyone else already has theirs, discovering how catty girlfriends can be, and realizing the cute guy in class is not necessarily the best guy.  though, margaret has one other issue which is where the title comes from, a lack of religious identity.  margaret's father is jewish and his mother is catholic since their parents did not approve of their marriage, they decided to raise margaret without a religion and let her chose when she is older.  regardless of the absence of religion growing up, margaret still turns to god to help cope with the stress of growing up.

i think i read this book when i was in sixth grade, which would be prefect because it was the same age as margaret.  i believe it was sixth because i didn't have my period yet (i started in 7th).  as a result, i had to asked my mom and aunt about the whole sanitary napkin belt that maraget discussed.  they told me about the belts they had to use but thankfully i didn't have to worry about all that because my sanitary napkins would come (and still do) with adhesive so they would stick to my undies.   i mean tampon commercials demonstrate all the things you can do thanks to tampons, imagine all the things you couldn't do thanks to that belt.

and i am glad i read this book pre-period because sixth grader me needed the life lessons blume gave in this book.  blume gives such a honest portrayal of growing up that this should be required preteen girl reading.  i must admit that i when i read this book as a preteen, i dwelled on the parts about making your boobs grow (my breast came in high school, i can admit that i did "i must, i must, i must, increase my bust" a handful of times) and periods but i got that the girls were being catty for no reason and that the hot boy was a jerk, but i didn't take those stories to heart like i should have.  but i mean i was still young, life would see to it that i learned those lessons.  and in retrospect, it's sad because as a preteen you learn these lessons, but people don't really change.  at thirty, i still see women being catty and in all my years of existence, i have only met one hot guy who was actually nice.  i take back my earlier statement about this being required preteen girl reading, it should be required female reading!

a big portion of the book that went over my head was the religious part.  i got why  margaret didn't have a religon but i didn't really get it.  for one thing, judaism was an abstract idea for me then, i didn't met a jewish person until i was in college. i knew catholics so knew how their church went but didn't really get all of the parts about margaret's temple experience.  i did understand the importance of marrying within one's religion, but have never felt the pressure to do so. my family members have married all religons and ethnicities so i never felt the need to marry a specific kind of person.  for example, my grandfather was chinese-arabian and a muslim (he was really strict about the pork eating) and my grandmother is mexian-filipino who was raised catholic but converted to mormonism.  our family is one big melting pot (which i love) so if i married a jew or a catholic, no one would have an issue.  as a result, i probably was able to understand what was going on in but didn't really identify with margaret.

as an adult, looking back i that blume presents important points about spirituality versus organized religions for preteens.  even though margaret does not have a religion, she still has a relationship with god.  this provides two importance lessons.  first that ones relationship with god can and should  be personal and defined by onself.  growing up mormon, i believed that there was only one correct way (as instructed by the church) to worship god but as i grew up i realized that what is important is one's faith in god versus the rituals of organized religion).  the second lesson is one of tolerance, every time margaret goes to experience a new religion she speaks to god as a being that watches over all things and not restricted to one religion.  margaret is right in addressing the same god each time because essentially the jewish, catholic and christian god are the same god.  this is an important point to make so kids will not be prejudices against others due to their religion because at the heart of it all, judeo-christian faiths believe in the same god.

i am glad that i reread "are you there god? it's me, margaret" because it reminded me of what a wonderful author judy blume is.  i will have to reread some of her other books i read as a kid.

the perks of being a wallflower. stephen chobsky. (81)

"the perks of being a wallflower" has been on my to reread list ever since i saw the movie. i have been hunting for my copy from high school (well not too seriously, i think it's in storage) so that i could read it for nostalgic reasons. however, i recommended allison (one of my adventure day kids, i take a couple of kids from the dance studio to the library on tuesdays) check it out. and since she is in a middle of a book, i borrowed it so i could reread it. right now i am in the middle of "les miserables" but took a break to read this. it took me 6 hours to read.

like i gushed in the blog post about the movie, i absolutely love love love love love this book. for proof check out that post.

even though i read it a handful of times in high school, i forgot a lot of things. i forgot about charlie's friend michael's suicide, sam's molestation as a child, his sister's pregnancy, and charlie and sam's talk on her last night. furthermore, i realized that the movie really did do the book justice. paul rudd made an excellent bill, i seriously have a huge book crush on bill. i also plan on reading the books and watching the movies bill gave charlie.* (maybe i should look for a nice high school english teacher to date?) i have to add that my rereading was greatly askew by the movie because i saw all the characters as their actor counterparts. sadly i can not remember how i imagined them before. however, all of the actors did fit, so it was fine. overall, i realized that i may have been a little harsh on the movie version, it was not as horrible or disappointing as i said. it was true to the essence of the book. however, i have to reiterate my disappointment in the christmas poem not being recited in the film.

my rereading not only made me realize how harsh i was on the film but also why i didn't love it like i loved the book. the reason being that as a reader you really get to know charlie, as a viewer your relationship is superficial. charlie is a great character and the best way to get to know him is through his letters. the ramblings in his letters paint a better picture of who charlie is versus the tales of his high school years. yes the stories were great but the true beauty is his musing and thoughts on life.

here are some examples:

his thoughts on old photos and how people happier people look in them:

"i just hope i remember to tell my kids TJs they are as happy as i look my old photographs. and i hope that they believe me."

when he discovered his grandfather once beat his mom when she was a child and received bad grades:

"i don't know if that's good or bad. i don't know if it's better to have your kids be happy and not go to college. i don't know if it's better to be close with your daughter or make sure that has a better life than you do."

on mixed tapes:

"i has an amazing feeling when i finally held the tape in my hand. i just thought to myself that in the palm of my hand, there was this one tape that had all these memories and feelings and great joy and sadness. right in the palm of my hand. and i thought about how many people loved those songs. and how many people got through a lot of bad times because of those songs. and how many odious enjoyed good times with those songs. and how much songs really mean. i junk it would be great to have written one of these songs. i bet if i wrote one of them, i would be very proud. i hope the people who wrote those songs are happy. i hope that they feel it's enough. i really do because they've made me happy. and i'm
only one person."

i just realized that i will end up quoting the whole book so will stop. but the point is that what makes charlie so great is his selflessness, his ability to think beyond himself. i try sometimes to think about the lives of strangers, wondering what they have experienced and when i do, it humanizes them and then it easier to understand and then eventually love thy neighbor. charlie was just as described, a wallflower and an observer but what made him different was his empathy. as i read about charlie, i thought of another boy who felt too much, douglas from "dandelion wine". i didn't discuss it in that blog but at the end of "dandelion wine" douglas became ill because he takes on the suffering and feelings of others. it's kinda jesus-y but not in a cheesy way. but both saw the world in a ego-less way which resulted in novels with great life lessons.

the ramblings of charlie get one thinking about their life and that is what make this book so great. charlie's inner thoughts were lost in the movie. it's probably because these thoughts would have been too random in the movie but make sense in the book. like when charlie's mother told his brother to watch his language in front of charlie. his brother used the words "faggot" and "high" and charlie realized that he is the only one in the car that has a gay friend or has done drugs. he also realized that maybe everyone is in family has been high and they just don't say anything. and he's so right. i bet a lot of people who know have toked up but we just don't realize it. its random thoughts like this that make you love charlie.

as i was reading, i wondered what it was that made the younger me fall in love with this book. i know for one it was the music. i actually made a mixed cd version of the tape charlie gave patrick as his secret santa gift (i listened to it as i wrote this blog). and to this day i am hopeful that a boy will gift me a copy of the beatles' "something" because it reminds him of me. i also love the idea that certain moments soundtracked with the right song can makenone feel infinite.

so quick digression. in the movie, the infinte song was "heroes" by bowie. but in the book it's simply a song about a boy. i thought maybe pearl jam's "jeremy" but that song came out in '92 and that moment took place in '91. i tried googling songs about a boy in 91 and no luck. even looked through list of top songs of 91 and found nothing. curious about others theories on what song it is. though i did discover that the love song they heard while searching for music that had the word "baby" had to be amy grant's "baby, baby" that came out in 91.

the poem that charlie gave patrick for christmas had a profound effect on the high school verison of me. i thought it was really deep. i had the same reaction as the rest of the group at the christmas party. i was in awe of it. now as an adult, the poem is sad but less profound, i guess the difference is that i have lost my naiveté about the world. when i read it as a teen, i was starting to question my world as i knew it. i was realizing that not everything is black and white and that though i may have strong morals, it doesn't mean the world does. i always mentioned my religious upbringing but i remember the priest part because i was starting to realize maybe religion wasn't capital t-truth. and that maybe things done in the name of god where not always the right thing. the ending of the poem never seemed a solution to any problems i had as a teen, it wasn't profound because i had thoughts of sucide. though it did make me sad for kids that did. i lived in a bubble, i never suffered any kind of abuse, and lead a straight-edge life. so did not connect with the story because it was a shared experience.

reading the perks was a voyeuristic experience for me. i never did drugs or had sex in high school, i was such a good mormon. so "the perks" was how my high school years could have been if i released my inner party-er at a teen. i would have done everything except the lsd. and no coincidence that one of the first things i did in college was attend a midnight "rocky horror" showing. i loved reading about their performances. (i always say myself playing columbia versus dammit janet. i would get down in those tap shoes!). so maybe i was charliesque in that sense, i didn't "participate" in that crazy lifestyle but enjoyed reading about it.

"the perks of being a wallflower" will always be one of my favorite books. these characters have always felt like my friends and even as i grow older, i won't lose my connection. they are like high school friends, you may outgrow each other but you will always be friends because of the experiences you had together.

last random note: the lowercase-ness of the title is why i stopped using capital letters.

*charlie's reading and watching list:
to kill a mockingbird
this side of paradise
peter pan
the great gatsby
a separate piece
catcher in the rye
walden
on the road
naked lunch
the stranger
halmet
the fountainhead

the graduate
harold and maude
my life as a dog
dead poets' society
the unbelievable truth

two from galilee. marjorie holmes. (80)

after his death, i checked out a collection of essays by gore vidal. i didn't have time to read it (i was bombarded by requests from the library). but i did read part of an article, "the top ten bestsellers according to the sunday new york times of january 7, 1973". for the article, vidal read all ten and wrote about them. this is how i discovered marjorie holmes' "two from galilee"

vidal was a witty, no-nonsense, tell-it-like-it-is kinda writer. he must have been the perfect sitting at a bar and shooting the shit partner. i loved his wit and feel guilty for not reading his essays but will redeem myself in the future. anyway, this is what he wrote about "two from galilee":

…what about a love story starring the mother and step-father of our lord? A super idea. and marjorie has written it.

seriously, how could i not be interested?!? we all know that i'm not religious but i love jesus-y things (unless they are forced upon me by christians to save my soul, i don't like that).

the novel is just as it is subtitled, "a love story of mary and joseph". it's like christian fan fiction though they think jesus is real so i guess more like christian historical fiction. however you label it, i had to read it, it's like a prequel to the christmas story. and yes i did save it until now to read right before christmas.

according to her bio on the back flap, marjorie holmes isn't a certified jesus expert, no mention of a theology degree nor religious studies, all we get is that she graduated from cornell college of iowa and she taught a writing class at catholic university in maryland. however, her other works include "i've got to talk to someone, god" and "who am i, god?" so she is some type of god expert? i mean she did get me to pick up a bible for the first time in about 5 years (to see what exactly was written about mary and joseph, surprisingly not much) so she has to be some sort of vessel for the work of god.

but in all honesty, i think it's a clever premise for a book. i mean if someone were to claim what mary was claiming today, we would think she was bat shit crazy. we can only assume that it would have been the same back then. and that is something we don't see in the bible. seriously it's bare bones in the bible, angels appear to bring messages from god and she gives birth. no real insight on the whole being pregnant and a virgin or the whole giving birth in a manager. just like men to gloss over that when they are recording the life of jesus, way to go matthew, mark and luke.

so "two from galilee" let's us know about mary and joseph, b.c. before christ. according to holmes, mary was this great beauty that everyone wanted to marry. but she was in love with joseph who was six years her senior. by the way, their ages: mary 13 and joseph 18, which in modern times ewwww, but back than, prolly like whatever, but holmes paints it as something odd. however, her mother (who vidal described as the epitome of an overbearing jewish mother) did not approve of joseph because he was poor and his father was an alcoholic. (good thing jesus wasn't joseph's kid cos we can't have the son of christ with those genetics).

however when mary becomes a women aka gets her period, she than takes fate into her own hands and manipulated her parents into letting her marry joseph. this part felt far fetch to me.

all is well in the world until an angel appeared to inform mary, she was the chosen virgin to birth the christ child. i am disappointed with god on this one, given the gravity of the matter, god should have appeared before mary himself to tell her know what was going on. furthermore, i find it interesting how god and jesus found the time to appear before joseph smith, of mormon fame, but not the mother of jesus.

then she had this weird body experience, which seemed like the ulitimate orgasm the way holmes described it (there was sweat, ultimate bliss and screams of "oh god"), when god impregnates her. again this seemed weird to me, no need for mary to feel anything physically, you're god, just fertilize that egg. in this regard, i find zeus the better god, he had the decency to take on forms like swans to impreganate women.

so mary told her mom, who thought she was bat shit crazy, which i think is a reasonable reaction. her father who always knew mary was special, believed mary but then mom convinced him otherwise. and joseph was just confused because he loved her. anyway, like all premarital pregnant girls, mary was sent away to a cousin. and that cousin was elizabeth who the angel told mary would be pregnant as well. i didn't undertstand why mary didn't tell her parents about elizabeth as proof of her immaculate conception. holmes had mary keep silent for fear of sounding really crazy, unmm too late. also for some odd reason, the part about the john the baptist jumping in elizabeth when mary arrived stayed has stuck in my brain all these years. no idea why. also all of these art pieces with john and jesus playing as babies, are they a sham? they never hung out as toddlers, right?

with mary away, galilee became a buzzed with gossip about what was going on with her and joseph's marriafe and she brought shame to everyone. the rumors were that a) joseph couldn't keep his penis in check or b) mary commited adultry. joseph had to decide what to do, everyone wants him to divorce her but than an angel appeared and he decided to marry her. mary returned because elizabeth gave birth and it's not good for pregnant women to be near. then ceasar put out his tax rules and mary and joseph travel to bethelem. and everyone knows the rest, well christians do.

i did appreciate how holmes did give details about the birth. because no one thinks of mary sweaty, bloody and near death as she gives birth. we just think of her in this cute little manager with sweet animals around her and a glowing christ child. in the story, holmes used the birth as a metaphor for the suffering that jesus would eventually take upon himself. which got me to thinking, if he was the christ child, shouldn't he have taken on the most pain during his birth? shouldn't marry have felt nothing? and once again, where was god? couldn't he have helped with the easing of pain? i get that he don't help jesus on the cross but jesus is god while mary is human, he could have cut her a break. maybe teleport out the baby like i hope will happen in the near future before i give birth.

so on to my critiques. my first is the view of female and male sexuality in this book. i understand it was an indication of the times but there was a double standard because male sexuality was accepted even if it was taboo back then. the only form of acceptable sex for women is one that comes from true love, which i guess mary and joseph would eventually have one day. other than that sex was scary and unenjoyable for women. helene, mary's mother, was scared of sex when she was first married and kept on warning mary of its pain. and then after the wedding of her cousin, mary wonders to herself

"and the bride and the groom. were they growing eager for their hour? how soon would deborah be led to her couch, stripped of her finery and made to lie down to await her husband in the still throbbing music of the darkness? and the groom, slightly drunken, flush and persirpring garland askew, his pudgy hands outstretched."

what nice imagery a woman stripped and waiting for drunken husband to have his way with her. this sounds like rape's first cousin. (thank god i live in modern times where i can be just as drunk as my husband.) and to top it all of mary's cousin was a little risqué wanting to kiss and thinking she should have done more before marriage. yet on her wedding night forced to be the virgin.

and as the double standard goes, men get to spread their seed like no other. no one bats an eye at cleophas who is rumored to have many lovers at ports but everyone wanted to shame mary for possibly committing adultery. furthermore, mary's
father actually felt bad for joseph for having to wait to have sex until their marriage especially after their betrothal. after a discussion with his wife he though to myself:

"hannah had no idea what it was like to be a man--this waiting. no women could comprehend physically passion. . . [mary] but was a child; she did not have the faintest concept of the demon-god that entered a youth's loins at puberty and gave him no peace after. that drove him, a whip goading, lashing him sometimes beyond all reason and honor . . . six months could be an eternity to when you were enflamed by a woman and already bound to her."

disgusting, according to this, it would have made sense if joseph knocked her up before he should have. and once gain the virginal woman not knowing anything about passion.

another critique i had was the talk about marriage for love. it was silly how fortunate mary and joseph felt because they were actually in love and how they talked about how in the future more people would marry for love. it was as if jesus would show people the folly of their ways. no offense but jesus had more important issues than marriage like maybe the whole love thy neighbor, turn the other cheek, repent of your sins, and stop with the temple sacrifices, to take on marriage. plus we all know the christian right aren't for love in marriages, they don't believe in love because if they did, they would let gays marry.

there was also a lot of period talk in this book. and if you follow my twitter i like to talk about periods. as i reading about mary explaining to her mom that she was pregnant because she missed her period, i realized i was a naive preteen and my mom failed on the period talk. i didn't get the correlation between period and pregnancy until i had been bleeding for a good three years or so. if i was 12 and the chosen virgin, i would not have gotten the whole, hey i have no period something must be up. i wouldn't know i was pregant until i started showing.

and last but not least, i have to critque how holmes christianized the story especially since jesus was not born yet so the whole christian spin on the world didn't make sense. for example, in the end, when joseph realized all the suffering that his child would endure being the christ child, he discussed how jesus would have the ultimate cross to bear. joseph was right, but this idea of a cross to bear seems to me more of a christian idea than a jewish one.b plus i am pretty sure it's popularity came with jesus' crucifixion, though i know jesus is not the only person to ever be crucified. i also thought it was odd how they discussed the men studying scriptures at home. i am not an expert on this but if in the story joseph couldn't afford to send a reed letter to mary, how could he afford torah scrolls for the home. furthermore, weren't most people illiterate? the novel had both mary's father and joseph not going to school yet they both study scriptures at home? and this isn't saying that jews don't study at home, i just think back than they probably did it at temple. also maybe it's just cos i was raised mormon, this whole study your scriptures at home was a daily task. and last but not least there was talk about mary seeing joseph at the synagogue. i thought the sexes would have been segregated but turn out after googling there is no indication architecturally that there was a divide between the sexes. so holmes got it right.

all in all, a wonderful spin on the christmas story. and if i was a christian i would probably love it. i did love it for purely blasphemous reasons and will probably go to hell due to my life, but that is only if this tale of a virgin giving birth to the christ child turns out to be true.

oh and seriously this was the best part of the whole book:

[deborah, mary's cousin, said,]"his lips--they're like kissing a sausage."

mary gasped, shocked if amused. a sausage was heathen food.

the secret book of frida kahlo. f.g. haghenbeck (78)

this book is another example of library kismet. while amazoning for a frida kahlo doll, i came across this book and made a mental note. later that day i went to the rabobank arena in bakersfield to buy tickets to barry manilow. since we were by the beale library, i decided to visit it. and i kid you not, this book was waiting on a shelf right where i walked it. it seemed too perfect. so i checked it out.

though i dressed up as frida kahlo for halloween:

and i have seen her art at the lacma. both from their permanent collection and their recent exhibit on women surrealists, "in wonderland". i would not call myself a frida expert. in all honesty, most of what i know about her i learned from her biopic starring salma hayek. i didn't even know about her accident until the movie. i am a bit of a whimp when it comes to blood/injuries so i skipped that part of the book because it made me nauseous. the idea of her accident made me so squeamish that had to be down the book when i started reading about it. also after reading this book and the bits of her real life, i now want to read a proper biography or autobiography (i requested her diaries from the library.)

so in addition to this being a novel, it is also a cookbook. each chapter contains frida's "favorite" recipes which related to the story that was told in the chapter. we all know i can't cook but i plan on trying some of the recipes like horchata and pumpkin tamales. (so look for a post about that in the future).

and it doesn't stop there! the book also
had book club questions at the end! i think it would be cute to read this as a book club and have each person make a recipe for the meeting, maybe i can convince the PDC dance moms! we'll see.

since there are book club questions i thought i would utilize them for this blog. there are 13 but i chose my top 3. so here we go:

1. the novel begins when frida is close to the end of her life. why do you think haghenbeck chose to order the narrative this way? how does beginning the story with death affect the rest of the novel?

when i first started the novel, i thought that haghenbeck decided to start off with frida's death because it was more theatrical than starting with her birth. however, when her death did arrived at the end, i saw that he did it to give some "it's a wonderful life" flair actually more like "click" flair (yes the adam sandler movie). because you realize what you had read did not actually happen but was a peek into the future, a session with the ghost of christmases to come. and though it is very cliche (see: twilight breaking dawn part 2) in this novel it worked. i thought it was very clever, i was not expecting it. it reinforced the idea of life as suffering.

2. after the accident frida must convince her godmother to allow her to continue living. what is frida's deal with death? what would you do if you were offered a similar deal? discuss what you think about the warning frida's godmother gives before she wakes up: "you will always wish you'd died today. and i will remind you of this every day for your life." (61). at the end of her life, does frida regret living past this first death?

frida's deal with death is that she will paint a self-portrait (which explains her painting of self-portraits in real life), that will hold her place in the afterworld so she can return to life. however, death can still take her, she is not immortal. i would strike the same deal. i don't believe in an afterlife so once i die i will be worm food. since i think death is the ultimate end, i would make the same deal with death. better to be alive and suffering than dead. frida's godmother's warning just demonstrated that no one can truly cheat death because you will always be haunted by the fact that you could have died. in my opinion, death did not make frida suffer more, what magnified her suffering was that it was now filtered through a "if i died this would have never happened to me" lens. also wishing for death is not something limited to just frida (we see in this in the story with the section about dorothy hale). when times get tough most people probably do wish for death to end their suffering. death as a relief is nothing new, suicidal tendancies is more than just a band. and euthanasia does exist. frida did not regret living past this first death. if she did, she would have committed suicide earlier in the story.

9. frida is in a constant struggle to continue living her painful life. why does she choose this painful life over an easy death? think about the words "have the courage to life, because anyone can die." (7, 95, 129) how do you interept this maxim?

i think this is kind of a dumb question. why does anyone choose a painful life over death? because death is forever and life is short, so thus more valuable. she didn't chose to have a painful life, she simplt chose life. no one is exempted from pain in life, jesus, buddha, krishna, mohammad, all founded religions as a means to escape pain and suffering of their lives. why should we mere mortals be any different? and isn't that the goal of all religions, to stop the pain of life? i do believe in the maxim, anyone can die but not everyone can live. in the novel, death explains to frida that it is a true communist because regardless of class, race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, and age, death will take you, it is blind to your status. also death is easy it takes much more effort to life that it does to seize being.

sorry, just realized all of my questions were about death but those questions were the most interesting one.

one last enhance activity:

1. look up one of your favorite frida kahlo paintings and find a passage in the novel that you feel relates to the painting. discuss how the aesthetic of the painting aligns with haghenbeck's reimagining of frida's life.

one of favorite kahlo painting is "two fridas":

i saw it this summer at the lacma. and i
originally wanted to dress up as the frida in white for the halloween (bleeding heart included) but it didn't happen. what i love about this painting is the heart. it reminds me of the glowing crowned heart that is in jesus paintings. also as a gemini, i get the whole twin thing. i do feel like i have two personas, so i enjoyed seeing frida pay homage to hers.

to be honest, as i read about the godmother and frida, i had a feeling that "two fridas" would be referenced. and i was right! in the end, the veil of the godmother is removed and the painting of "two fridas" is described:

"the women removed her veil. frida the tehuana took the hand of her godmother, who was frida the death and connected the atery to her heart so that it would beat again."

i think the later half of this question is not well thought out. all and every kahlo's paintings are capable of being described as aligning with haghenbeck's reimagining, because they are art and opened to intereptation. however, i do believe that this painting does align well. since this is a favorite of mine, i was ecstatic when it received a shout out. it was interesting how he interepted one of the fridas as death especially since she did have that early brush with death. i am not sure of the actual motivation behind the painting. and though i think of the two fridas more as a discussion on how we as
individuals some contain binary options within ourselves i.e. lover/hater, virgin/whore or just different titles i.e. sister, daughter, one's occupation, etc. we are all so complex, it's like the Fiona apple song, "i'll make the most of it, i'm extraordinary machine".

there were other paintings that were alluded to and i had to google because i did not know them. though i have seen the dorthy hale painting in person it was interesting to learn the history of it via the book (wikipedia backed up the story though there was some embellishment).

the book was very enjoyable and i look forward to learning about her life in her diaries than reading it again. i feel that there are probably a bunch of inside jokes that went over my head because i am not as familiar with frida's life.