peter pan. j.m. barrie. (124)

before i start, i have to say this is a horrible cover.  what was borders thinking?!?!?  i doubt this cover was cool back in 2003 when it was published.  i mean who were they targeting then?  tween nickelback or creed fans? i mean seriously?!? that hot topic tink shirt.  this cover was so horrible, i was embarrassed to check it out and looked for a better cover.  however, i checked out this one because it was the expanded version.

with the occurrence of my 30th birthday, i kept on alluding to my peter pan syndrome but having never read "peter pan", i decided that i should, to make my suffering legit.  so what the general public knows as "peter pan" (thanks to disney) is actually "peter and wendy".  i learned on wikipedia that the first appearance of peter pan was in barrie's work "the little white bird", the chapters devoted to peter were republished as "peter pan in kensington gardens".  from "the little white bird" came a play about "peter pan" and from that came "peter and wendy".  the extended version, i read had "peter and wendy", "peter pan in kensington gardens" and "the blot on peter pan". i couldn't find any information on the last one, so not sure where it came from.

random but before i go on, i have to say that thanks to the film "finding neverland", i saw the narrator as johnny depp playing j.m. barrie.  especially "the blot on peter pan" which read an autobiographical tale of barrie (i think it was).

i wish i had read "peter and wendy" as a child, well actually had it read to me.  the story is written as if the narrator is speaking directly to you.  he breaks the fourth wall and also the wall that prevents narrators from talking to characters.  my wish to have read it as a child is that as an adult i found the story quite sad.   there were clever little parts and the narrator made witty little epiphanies but even with all the tiny smiles it gave me, i was still sad.  if i was a child, i would have focused on all of the adventure and nonsense, a dog as a nanny, flying, the lost boys, the redskins and pirates, and of course i would have wanted to follow peter pan to neverland.  instead, i pitied him, how sad that he would be young and ignorant forever.

my only exposure to peter pan prior to this was the disney movie.  and i know that disney softens things up but i mean "peter and wendy" is pretty edgy for a children's story.  as child we are supposed to admire peter pan as this great adventurer but as an adult i thought he was, to borrow a direct quote from tink, a "silly ass"!  (yes tink really said that.  it was like her go-to expression).  but really peter pan was an ass, like the mean kid in school who is oddly popular.  even though i would classify peter as a jerk, the lost boys revered him.  peter was bossy, always forcing the lost boys to pretend according to his guidelines, and they just went along with what he said.  i found it quite unfair how often they would pretend to eat because he wanted to though often times they were actually hungry and needed a real meal.  i know this might make me sound like a horrible person (though i recognize he was a lowdown cheat) but i understood why captain hook hated peter because of cockiness.  i found the cockiness out of control.  peter made a handful of situations more difficult ie saving tiger lily because he let his ego get the best of him.  it was quite annoying to read.  i also could not forgive him for his absent-mindedness.  i get it, as someone who suffers from peter pan syndrome, i recognize that we are quite selfish and often only focus on ourselves but i am not as bad as peter. it was quite sad to read how he would forget about coming back for wendy for spring cleaning.  and i guess that is the point of peter pan (and also what i recognize is my flaw when it comes to relationships) peter is great for adventures but no one really wants to spend the rest of their life with him because his adventures make his life so reckless.  (seriously this just turned into a #thirtysomethingsinglegirlsproblem moment, don't worry i will save you from reading me working out my issues in this blog).

and just as i saw peter as an ass, i saw tink as a total mean girl.  she was so catty for being a fairy, i mean aren't they sweet by nature?  i remember tink being mean to wendy in the movie and perhaps i blocked out some of the things that were shown in the movie but she was horrible in the book.  for example, having the lost boys shoot her down like a bird (i think that happen in the movie), luckily that acorn saved wendy's life.  and i know that tink wasn't all that bad because she did save peter's life but she was more mischievous then she was helpful.

quicknote:  but when i saw gaga in concert, she did this whole tinkerbell thing where we had to cheer for her so she wouldn't die.  i didn't get it until i read about tinkerbell's death. i also enjoyed the audience interaction.  when i read "peter and wendy" to my future kids, i am going make them clap to save tink.

but even though i found the characters more negative than i anticipated, i felt bad for peter more than i hated him.  it made me sad to imagine the world moving on and peter staying the same.  and what makes it worse, is the fact that peter is complete ignorant that the world is progressing.  he takes wendy's daughter and granddaughter back to neverland for spring cleaning, three generations of women grow up and peter does not take any real notice of the change, just accepts the child.  it broke my heart how peter did not experience the joys and pain of growing up, he would never truly live.

but let me clarify, this was a sad read because i am now an adult.  if i read it as a child, i would have absolutely loved it.  and like i said before there were so many cute and clever parts.  for example, i loved the part when wendy tells peter that a thimble is a kiss and a kiss is a thimble.  adorable.

i also enjoyed "peter pan in the kensington gardens."  i loved how it was narrated, again like listening to a storyteller versus reading a book.  i loved finding out peter's back story.  it was quite tragic.  as a baby, peter decided to return to kensington gardens and lived with the birds and faires.  he had such a grand time that he stayed and sadly it was too long.  when peter, finally decided to return to his mother, she had given up hope and barred the window and had another son.  poor peter.  given this context you can forgive him up for his issues.

in "kensington gardens", you also get all the insider scoop.  the narrator give us a tour of the garden's highlights along with funny little anecdotes.  and the best story of the garden is that of maime, wendy's predessor, the original thimble kisser.  sorry wendy, but i loved maimie, she was more adventurous and more of wild and crazy side.  when her older brother chickened out she decided to hide and sleep in the gardens!  as a result, maime befriends the fairies and then becomes friends with peter.  she stays for a while but decided to go back home but she promised i visit peter and even gave him a goat! so peter could ride around and plan is flute.  just like his namesake, pan. 

i should add that pan was not the only allusion, for queen mab was the queen of the faires of kensington gardens.  

i really enjoyed "peter pan in the kensington gardens" but "the plot on peter" not so much.  it was a poorly written bio. it lacked all of the piazza of the first two pan stories.  barrie tried to hard to be colorful and it resulted in a pathetic narrative.

but all in all.  it was great to finally read "peter pan".  if you haven't read it, you should.  as i read, i realized that i am no longer suffering from the peter pan syndrome because i pitied peter instead of admired him.  i do want to grow up and live and not just be ignorant of the world moving on around me.  i want to grow up!