gone girl. gillian flynn. (140)

***warning:  this blog has spoilers***

last year, when "gone girl" was everywhere, my hipster tendencies kept me away.  but my cousin brandy recommended it, so i decided to read it.

i must add that my friend, dustin, told me that he loved it up until the end, which made me skeptical.  i assumed that the author may have cleaned up the story too nicely and quickly, realizing that she had so many pages, so i expected the writer to disappoint me.  

as i read, i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop . . . but i loved the writer!  after reading the first chapter, i texted brandy that i loved the references to the heat miser (nick's hair, "snow miser" is one of my favorite christmas songs) and cat from "breakfast at tiffany's" (i have always wanted to name my cat, cat, but i hate animals).  the only thing that bothered me was amy's first diary entry, so annoying!!! it was like she was trying too hard to be interesting.  i also texted my cousin that "the tone of amy's journal is too poppy but that could be cos it's prolly how i write! lol. i write like i talk but am annoyed with authors do that.  lol." to which she wrote that it would make sense later.  it did.

random digression but i have to praise flynn for turning "the giving tree" into a verb:  "he giving treed me."  seriously genius! i wish i had thought of that!!

so i rarely read mysteries, as a kid i read nancy drew books but that was more because my mom used to read them.  the reason i can't do mysteries is because i want to be smarter than the book, i want to solve the mystery before the author gives me clues to point me in that direction.  i blame television, specifically, "law and order".  "law and order" has turned every average watcher into a whodunit expert.  but it's all probably some mind trick, they make the episode easy to solve which makes us feel smarter and as a result watch more to enjoy your our faux smug intelligence.  well played, dick wolf.

due to this "law and order" effect, i had a bunch of theories about what happened to amy.  first i thought it was nick, like after the first page, it was one of those mind tricks.  it was so obvious that you were like it can't be him, and then it turned out to be him!  i also thought amy was a drug addict or faked her journal after reading her first entry.

other theories (the actual texts i sent to my cousin):

-my next theory.  nick's dad killed her!  lol. i am only 60 pages in.  get ready for more random theories. or it's all some hoax set up by her because she was feeling neglected and it was their 5th anniversary? lol

-last theory before bed . . . a crazed "amazing amy" fan that is obsessed with the series and can take the fictional one getting married!  (this was before the introduction of hilary and desi, but i am not that smart, 2 pages later, they were introduced)

-so i am in page 140 and the book we are reading "gone girl" is actually "double lives", nick's book proposal.  (a book within a book kinda thing)

as you can see i really got into the book.  lol.  but i must admit that though i wasn't surprised by amy's faking her death, i was shocked by how bat shit crazy she was.  the woman was insane.  nick was an asshole, he cheated, took the last of her money and forced her to live in middle america, but still nothing compared to what she did, and not only to him but to hilary, tommy, and desi.  i mean i am still in shock over what she did.  it's funny because when amy was robbed by jeff and greta, i felt bad for her, but then i added up all the evil things she had done and realized it was her just desserts. i mean amy was a sociopath, nick made mistakes like a regular person but amy was demonic, pure evil.  though i was frightened of amy, i loved reading about how sick and twisted, she was and of course, her outrageous and extravagant plots against people.

and i mean the plot against nick was nothing compared to desi.  she killed a man!!! i was nervous and worried for nick that entire time.  i was so excited to find out how the book ended that i skimmed some of the last chapters.  when nick started choking amy, i was triumphant, i was happy that bitch got her ending.  i thought it would have been perfect, he, initially accused of killing her, then being cleared, only to end up killing her and saving the world from evil.  a sad ending for him but a just one for her.  but flynn didn't kill that psycho bitch!  then i thought the book i were reading was nick's book, a book within a book that righted amy's wrong.  but no amy had another plan! 

sidenote:  why would amy being pregnant ruin his book? i am pretty sure people would still want to read it.  i mean wouldn't the pregnancy help?  it would be like why did he write that and yet have a child with her?!?!

and in the end, amy gets away with it all and i hate the book!!!! hate it!! seriously!?!?!?!? nick becomes complacent and they bring a child into the world???

all that love and interest, i had, straight out the window because i absolutely hated the ending.  i will always appreciate flynn for the verb giving tree, but will not read any of her books!  i am so bitter, i might not see the movie, partially because i don't like reese witherspoon as amy.  she is too wholesome (see:  "cruel intentions", "legally blonde", "sweet home alabama"). i think kate hudson would have been better, she is more city/cool girl (see:  "how to lose a guy in 10 days", "bride wars").  

but yes, hated this book.  damn that ending!!!