can't we talk about something more pleasant?: a memoir. roz chast. (250)

i had seen roz chast's memoir, can we talk about something more pleasant? on a handful of must read list.  however, i didn't start paying attention until i saw it included on best of 2014 lists and since i realized i hadn't read many of the books listed on the best of 2014 lists (though i have read books that came out in 2014), i decided to check it out.

prior to this memoir, i was not familiar with chast work.  she is a cartoonist for the new yorker.  i also was not familiar with the premise for the book.  based on the title and the cover, i thought it was going to be a fun stories of how parents get senile as they grow older and the odd conversations we have with them.  however, it is actually about her dealing with her parents aging and their deaths.  whenever chast tried to have a conversation about death, "can we talk about something more pleasant?" would be her parents' response.  i have to admit that i was a little bit worried about reading this because it has been a year since my grandmother death.  i was worried about it bringing up painful memories or that i might just randomly burst into tears.  it didn't.  though it reminded me how grateful i was to be with my grandma in her final years of life.  i always claimed that it was good for me to be back home for her to keep an eye on me but in reality, it was better to have her taking care of me.

being a graphic memoir, i actually finished the book in a day, probably closer to an afternoon.  it was an enjoyable read though it did remind me that i have a rough time ahead of me as my mom starts to grow older.  in fact, my aunt tracey and my uncle bob too.  but i don't want to think about that now.

the memoir is completely honest.  it covers all of the anxiety and stress that comes with dealing with aging parents.  and chast is a little neurotic and i was often shocked by how she reacted to some events.  for example, when chast's mother had her fall and went to the er, chast did not go to the hospital until a couple of hours after she got the phone call.  i understand that each person deals with emergencies in their own way, but i don't know how she didn't immediately rush to the hospital.  another time i was shocked was when her mother was released and instead of spending the night with her parents, she went back home.  again some people are different.  and i hate to be judgy, because it is tough and i have no idea what i would do if i was in that situation, i mean she is an only child and when i go through this i will have my siblings as support.  i hate to be so mean, but it was still shocking to read. 

and i know that its easier to said then done, but i can honestly say that i have done.  i'm not saying that i am better than chast and i hate to seem so judgy. but i am extremely squeamish when it comes to hospitals, like i could never sit through the emergency scenes in "ER" or the surgery scenes of "nip/tuck", however, i was always fine with staying overnight in the hospital room with my grandma.  in fact, my sister and i stayed with her in icu, one of the nights we were warned could be one of her last (thankfully we had her for a couple more weeks).  

and please don't take the examples as what time person chast.  she was actually very dedicated to making sure her parents were taken care of and comforted.  those were just two incidents that stuck out to me as i read.  there is alot more beauty to this book.  there is of course some humor, and i plan on reading more of her works.  it s a beautiful work in which she pays tribute to her parents and gives a very honest view of how tough it is to deal with death.

mr. fox. helen oyeyemi. (249)

i decided to pick up helen oyeyemi's mr. fox after it was listed on a flavorpill post about the 50 best fabulist books everyone should read.  flavorpill described it as a "a wandering, meta fairy tale about creativity, inspiration, and the fact that when you chop somebody’s head off in real life, they don’t actually become a prince."  fairy tales and head choppings!  i'm in.

the premise for the book was intriguing, one day mr. fox, an author with a tendencies to kill the females in his works, is invited to play a literary game with his muse, mary.  mary, a voice he created during the war to keep his morale up has evolved into a person.  they take turns creating stories for each other, her goal to have mr. fox fall in love with her and vice versa.  everything is fun and games until mr. fox's real life wife, daphne begins to get involved.

it sounds like a fun read, but i felt lacked execution.  perhaps i focused too much on looking for mr. fox, mary, and daphne in the stories which resulted in my displeasure.  i just did not see any cohesion that constitute it as a novel.  instead,a i think mr. fox would have worked better as a collection of short stories in which the lead characters shared the same name.  there is no denying that oyeyemi is an amazing writer.  i absolutely loved the chapter, "my daughter the racist" which centered around a mother and daughter in a war-torn, taliban-terrorized village in the middle east befriend an american solider much to the outrage of the village.  it's a beautiful story about human connection and tolerance.  i have also i discovered upon googling (to find the actual setting of the book) that it won the BBC national short story award, which is great, but makes me wonder how it fits into the novel.  it really didn't, but it does not make it a bad story, just a bad novel.

the other chapter that i enjoyed was "the training at madame de silentio's" which was the story of two boys, charles wolf and charlie wulf.  they were too mischievous boys that were sent to an academy that which was like a finishing school, turning boys into world-class husbands for wealthy wives.   they were taught things such as: "strong handshakes, silence, rudimentary car mechanics, how to mow the lawn, explosive displays of authority, sports and nutrition against impotence"  i personally enjoy the role reversals here.  

the other chapters though entertaining and well-written did not come together for an outstanding overall novel.  there is no denying oyeyemi's talent, but mr. fox is not her best work.

how to build a girl. caitlin moran. (247)

i thought i picked up caitlin moran's how to build a girl based on flavorpill recommendation but i couldn't find the article.  even though i can't remember where i saw it, i am glad that i decided to check it out.  and i mean the lena dunham blurb on the cover is totally unnecessary, helpful but this book is amazing it can sell itself. 

i hate to be so late to the game on moran but i knew nothing about her before i read this novel.  apparently, moran is a famous british journalist and wrote this feminist book called how to be a woman back in 2012 (i have since put in a request for this book).  i hate to admit this but i remember her book being on sale on amazon but judged a book by a cover, and didn't give it a thought.  it was her skunk hair.  i didn't take her seriously but i really wish i did!!

how to build a girl is loosely based on moran's life.  at least that is what the disclaimer at the beginning said.  she was a music journalist, had a large family, and grew up in wolverhampton.  but the lead character, johanna is not moran.

when we first meet johanna, you can't help but feel bad for the poor girl.  she was fat, friendless, awkward, and a chronic masturbator.  she masturbated a lot!  and with her older brother in the room and her younger brother in the bed next to her.  when i read that i was certain that is why lena dunham has so much love for moran as her blurb claimed.  seriously, what is with people masturbating with siblings in their bed, in high school, i felt bad if anyone else was in the house at the same time that i did it!

johanna's family was also poor, due to her father's dreams of being a rock star which resulted in him really just being an alcoholic.  he also did have an accident but still he just drank and lived off of his benefits.  however, when johanna spills the beans about her father being on benefits to a neighbor, which would

result in them losing them; she decided to get a job to help out.

her first attempts to time a job, a paper route and a starring in a production of "annie" are unsuccessful.  however, when johanna's luck changed when she  won a poetry contest (though her luck didn't change completely because she embarassed herself on tv.  however, it did help johanna realize that she wanted to be a writer and that writing would be the key to her helping her family and getting out of wolverhampton.

since johanna did not know anything about indie rock, she had to start completely from scratch.  she listened to a lot of music, but nothing that would be considered "cool".  her rock education started via the radio and the library, where she checked our CDs.  since she was starting from scratch, johanna needed a rock persona which results in her building a girl.  johanna created dolly wilde, named after oscar wilde's alcoholic lesbian niece.  i loved the nod to oscar wilde and dolly was totally the best choice for johanna, but i loved the name laurel canyon.  i have always wanted an amazing band-aid name, like "almost famous", and was always sad that penny lane was used because it is perfect. and laurel canyon is so good! i wish i thought of it.  oh, well.

so dolly wilde wore all black and a top hat like slash.  and after johanna sent in reviews to the magazine, "D&ME", she became a music journalist.  she also quite school to have more time to write.  one of her first assignments was attending a smashing pumpkins show, which her dad took her too cos she is so young.  initially, she tries to take notes, but in the end, realized that she just needed to enjoy the moment instead of being an observer.  dolly, even managed to get backstage to talk to the band!  

after the pumpkins, she was sent to ireland to interview john kite.  he was described as a jeff buckley type, but due to his fur coat and dandyish ways, i thought of him as oscar wilde. i also expected him to turn out gay.  however, dolly and kite had a wonderful time together, (they sounded like soulmates to me.) and she fell in love with him.  

oh and my favorite quote from them hanging out was this:

"you gonna norwegian wood it, love?", he said as i crawled off to sleep in the bath." 

so freakin' cute and clever!!!

however, after she sent in her interview, the calls stopped coming, because the piece was too fan-ish.  and with this realization dolly wilde went wild.

first it started with booze, she started drinking to created this wild child persona. then, she started writing these cruel reviews with created this bitch persona.  and last, she started having sex which resulted in this sex adventurerer persona.  and though it was hilarious and fun to read all of this, it was not good for dolly.  she started sleeping with the wrong men and making a compete mess of her life.  (i could totally relate.) 

in the end, after throwing herself at john kite, she realized she needed to

stop being dolly wilde and start being johanna again.

as a result, chapter 24 is wonderful advice for any girl, particularly teenage girls, but any female trying to find herself. we all make mistakes but as moran advises via johanna:

you'll find the tiny, right piece of grit you can pearl around, until nature kicks in, and your shell will just quietly fill with magic? even while you're busy doing other things.  what your nurture began, nature will take over, and start completing, until you stop having to think about who you'll be entirely--as you're too busy doing, now.

what a great little pearl of wisdom!

in the end johanna, begins her journey towards her new self.  she decided to move to london and continue her writing but as a fan and as herself!

this book was great and i highly recommend it.  johanna is hilarious and i would totally be her friend if she was a real person.  

just look at this quote:

when bill murray says shit like this, people completely lost it.  i wish used bill murray.  i hope everything i've read about evolution is wrong, and i eventually evolve into him.

bloody brilliant!  this book is filled with gems like this.

if you are a girl, women, riot grrl and lived or loved the nineties you need to read this book.  so good and i look forward to reading moran's other works.

adverbs. daniel handler. (246)

i came across daniel handler's adverbs in a flavorpill post on 10 underrated books everyone should read.  since he is lemony snicket, and i loved the movie version of his series (i know i need to read it!) and the dark, i decided to give this novel a read.

and i hate to go against flavorpill, but this would go on my list of underrated books that are actually overrated.  there is a blurb on the back by dave eggers that likens handler to nabokov,  which is a huge compliment and yes his prose is quite clever but it wasn't that impressive.  and i have to admit, eggers in a bit overrated in my book as well.

adverbs is called a novel, but i would consider it a collection of short stories.  there are a series of elements that threads that the chapters together.  initially,  i felt that it was the name of the characters, but as the reader discovers on the front jacket, characters may have share the same name.  however, i did not believe handler, all of the characters were the same person except there may have been two keiths.  he does admit at the end of the chapter, "truly", that we can not follow the names through the book that there are other elements to trace throughout the book, birds, stranger you spot outside of your cab, cocktails, pop songs.  and i did admire him for these added elements that connect the stories to create a novel, magpies, cocktails with silly names like "morning sickness", pop song lyrics like "baby, baby, oh, baby", a snow queen and of course, cabs.  it was like being on a treasure hunt, every discovery of these elements felt like an inside joke or ah-ha moment and i have to give him credit there.

i must also admit that "truly" (all of the chapters were titled with adverbs) was my favorite chapter, because it felt true.  the novel made sense after reading it, it felt like the heart of the novel.  it told us point blank why handler was writing as opposed to all the word play and coyness of the other chapters.  i liked how straight forward he was in this chapter.

the overall theme of the novel was love, all sorts of love.  for example, the novel opened with  falling in love with a total stranger (there was even the added element of it being gay love, that sounds bad but you know what i mean.) but this is my favorite kind of love, a missed connection sort of love.  it reminded me of the yacht song "psychic city", "i used to live in a heartbreak city, i swear i'd fall in love every minute on the street".  there was unrequited teenage love, best friend love, love of money, and love for thy neighbor (literally).

and with it being about love there were some great quotes:

the opening lines set the bar for me, "love was in the air, so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner.  we breathed it in, particularly me' the air was full of smells and birds, but it was the love, i was sure, that was tumbling down to my lungs, the heart's neighbors and confidants."

(after reading that, i had high expectations, but the novel fell kind of short for me.)

"they say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay."

"you meet people who are in pain in life and love and you forgive them for behaving the way they do."

"love is like candy from a stranger, but its candy you've had before and it's probably won't kill you."

"it is not the diamonds or the birds, the people, or the potatoes; it is not any of the nouns. the miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done.  it is the way love gets done despite every catastrophe."

"and when love is over when the diner of love seems closed from the outside you want all those hours back along with anything you left at the lover's house and maybe a couple of things which aren't technically yours on the grounds that you wasted a portion of your life and those hours have all gone southside."

"they say when you're really in love, the word becomes gossamer and gorgeous, but in my experience the world gets grimy, and the love object is in stark relief from the surroundings.  this is love, a pretty thing on an ugly street."

"love is really liking someone a whole lot and not wanting to screw that up."

and of course i loved:

"they looked at each other like a pair of parentheses."  (i just love the idea of people as parentheses, it's that blow song!)

so i know all of these great quotes, so clever and sweet, so how did i not enjoy the novel?  because as i read i became confused by the need to make everything cohesive.  these quotes were like gems and hided under weird story plots.  i got caught up with the characters names, when maybe i should have focused on the elements and the love. i should give it another read, i guess.  i don't know.  i mean these quotes are great, maybe i just need to buy myself a copy and highlight the love quotes.  maybe i will love it more.

but for now, i think it is overrated, every though it has amazing quotes on love!

we were liars. e. lockhart (245)

i kept on seeing we were liars on must read lists over the summer, but didn't give much thought to it.  i mean everyone was writing about it, but it felt like something i had read before.  i think the title and cover reminded me of justin torres' we the animals.  however, after seeing it listed as one of the best ya novels of 2014, i decided to check it out.

though enjoyable, it was not my cup of tea.  i mean the twist ending though random and unexpected was not that incredible.  also after reading, belzhar, it felt unoriginal.  i guess if i would have read it when it first came out, it would have kind of blown my mind, but the surprise twist of belzhar kind of ruined it for me.

we were liars is the story of four teens, cadence (our main character and whose perspective we read from), her cousins, johnny, mirren, and the nephew of her aunt's boyfriend, gat.  they were called the liars because they hung out together every summer on their families private island.  they had what lykke li once sang about, "the rich kids' blues".  they were super rich, but that doesn't mean they didn't have any problems.  they actually did because though they didn't care about money, their mothers were worried about inheritance (they all had money issues, living off of trusts because they didn't have real jobs, which is a result from having money) so were constantly forcing them to appeal to their grandfather for their share of the inheritance.  they fought over who will inherit want, what homes they have, etc. the kids just wanted to get along.

there is also a love plot, cadence was in love with gat, but the family did not approve based on his race and lack of wealth.

however, cadence suffered an accident that caused the family to change.  her aunts and mother got a long, but the cousins were distant.  she was also kept from the island.  all she remembered is waking up on the beach, in her underwear, and alone.  she was kept away from the island but returned one summer.

when she returned there is a new central estate (the island had multiple houses) which is modern.  the liars all lived off in one of the empty houses and didn't engage with the family like before.  cadence decided to investigate what happen to her.

then it all comes flooding back to her, and it turns out . . . her cousins and gat were ghost!!!! they had died, the summer of her accident.  they had decided to burn down their grandfather's house. but cadence light the fire in her rooms to quickly and ended up trapping everyone in the house!!! talk about a crazy twist.  a surprise but also talk about extreme.

i also want to add that through the novel were fairy tales that she made up based upon her family, which i enjoyed.

i didn't enjoy this book, but i can imagine young adults enjoying it, so i think it deserves to be on the lists for the best of 2014.

belzhar. meg wolitzer. (241)

i came across meg wolitzer's belzhar in a huffington post post about fall books. i wasn't the biggest fan of the interestings but decided to check out belzhar because i loved the cover.  if it was an instagram post, i would have definitely like it, i have a thing for itemized photos like that.  and a joy division shirt and the bell jar are featured on the cover,  it had to be a good book.  and it was.

it was a good book, but not great. it is a young adult novel so i did not judge it too harshly.  not saying that ya novels can be poorly written but just that where i thought things were predictable and cleaned up too nicely, i could see it be shocking and satisfying to a younger reader.  i have to admit that the fantastical element and pretty much the most important part of the novel, the journals were disappointing.  i thought i was going to read about a girl working through her issues in real life not with the aid of a magical journal.  once they entered the plot, i started to lose interested.  it would have been nice to see jam healed through her own will power and therapy versus magic.

belzhar is the story of a teenage girl named jam. her real name was jamaica named after where she was conceived, no offense but wolitzer must have been stoned.  i mean i get the need for the jar of jam in the story but couldn't she have come up with a better way for her nickname to be jam?  that is some laziness.

jam was enrolled at a special school, wooden barn, because she was suffering depression after her boyfriend, a foreign exchange student, reeves, died.  initially, we do not get any details on how he died, just stories about how they met and the time they spent together. prior to her enrollment, jam stopped living, she couldn't focus in school or get out of bed.  jam's parents enrolled her to help her continue with schooling but also help her heal.

at wooden barn, jam was selected as one of five students to be enrolled in special topics in english.  it is an exclusive course taught by mrs. quenell.  from her roommate, dj, jam learns that past students say that it changed their life completely.  this special topics turned out to be an extra special course because it would be the last one taught.  in special topics, they read one author's work, and this time it was sylvia plath.  an odd choice considering the setting.  (i have to add that once plath was introduced, i decided to reread the bell jar because i didn't remember anything about it.). they would also write in journals during the course, not to be read and returned to mrs. quenell at the end of the course.

the students then discovered that their journals are magical.  when they wrote in their journals, they went into a trans and were sent to a special place they name belzhar, a play on bell jar.  belzhar was different for each student based on the trauma they had experienced in life, thought the setting was on the day of their traumatizing event.  for sienna, she was on a bus with her little brother on the day he disappeared.  for casey, a girl that was paralyzed in a car accident, she was fully able-bodied (is that the pc term?).  for marc, who discovered his father was having an affair, his family is whole.  for griffin, he was in his family's barn with all the goats.  and for jam, she was with reeves.  initally, belzhar brings them all comfort.  however, it was predictable that the students would move forth from their trauma because they would realize how holding onto it caused their life to be stifled.  as demonstrated with jam, belzhar's reeve never cared about her present life and she became bored by having to relive their past.

the students also discovered that they write in their journals for 5 pages each time they go to belzhar and started to stress about what will happen in the end.  in the meantime, they started to heal.  jam became interested in griffin and spent thanksgiving with his family after she got snowed in at wooden barn.  she also helped deliver a baby goat which though amazing but really some girl from jersey would do all of that?  but she starts to fall for griffin but feels guilty for betraying revees.

then, the end came.  casey and marc decided to finish their journals and discovered that they must live through everything that happen to them but this time they are conscious of everything.  of course this gave them the closure they needed to move on. griffin does too and makes peace with his family.  sierra decided to stay in belzhar and went into a coma.  jam was left to decide if she should stay in belzhar with revees or pick griffin.  sad to see it always come down to a boy.

however, here came the plot twist that i was definitely not expecting and actually have to give kudos to wolitzer on this one, but reeves never died.  in fact, jam and reeves never dated!! everything was a lie she told herself because she was obsessed with reeves.  they interacted as school but not on the level she had told us.  jam's true issue was that she had lied to herself that her boyfriend was dead to deal with rejection.  i hate to be mean but she really was crazy.  and well played by wolitzer, because jam also his the truth from her classmates and as a result the reader as well.

i have to say that i wish there was some guilt on jam's end.  i think she mentioned once about feeling bad about lying to her classmates but there was never an explanation from her.  and considering how honest they were with her, she should have come clean.  i mean they were the type to accept anything and just be happy that she found closure, but wolitzer needed to make that conversation happen.

jam got of clean because the reader and her classmates were distracted by the news that sierra's little brother was found but sadly she was now in a coma.  however, jam saved the day by having the brother shout at sierra to get out of belzhar and everyone lived happily ever after.

oh and it turns out mrs. quenell was in a mental hospital the same time as slyvia plath.  way to go wolitzer on having everything come full circle.  oh and mrs. q made some speech about the power of writing, which would have been way deeper if it truly was writing that helped them instead of a magical journal.

a good read for young adults, but if you are an adult, you might want to find something else to read.

i am malala: the girl who stood up for education and was shot by the taliban. malala yousafzai. christina lamb. (239)

i am a horrible person and never really keep up with anything outside the realm of my little world.  i am  horrible about knowing what is going on in the world, current events and politics are sadly not concerns of mine.  i get most of my news scrolling through facebook, but never take the time to read an actual article, must headlines, nor do i take the time to research anything.

and to be perfectly honest, i knew of malala only because madonna had her name written on her back at the concert i went to at the staples center.  madonna, of course, also spoke about what happened to malala. but again to be horrible and honest, i don't remember much, i mean i was in the golden triangle for a madonna, my mind was freaking out over that fact.

i had seen post about i am malala, but when malala was awarded the nobel peace prize and became the youngest recipient of the award, i decided to put in my request for it at the library.

before i go on, i must share one critique, since this work was written with christina lamb, i couldn't help but be skeptical about what i was reading.  i know it doesn't really matter because at the end of the day, it's the message that is important versus how authentically this was malala.  but i couldn't help but wonder how much of what i read was framed by lamb.

in addition to this, i know that malala's cause is important, but the book did become redundant with malala really driving to home her point about education.  it was like okay, i get it.  at some points.  the book also seemed to be very aware of its audience and played it safe for the most point, it painted malala as this very pious and studious girl.  i mean i complained about anne frank being too #teenageproblems but it would have been nice to see malala the girl versus malala the advocate.  i hope when she is an older she will write another book on her own and be completely honest.

other than that this is amazing book because malala's story is truly amazing.

i am confused by the middle east, i don't whose side to be on or who to trust.  i don't know who should be allowed to rule over what area and who has actual claims to what lands.  this work demonstrated just how chaotic it really is.  everyone is confused.  malala lived in the swat valley of the pakistan.  the book discussed the history of swat valley. it went through and explained the confusing past of the militant leaders that plagued the area.  some of things mentioned reminded me of salman rushdie's midnight's children.  i can not give you a clear time line or explanation of leaders.  however, the real trouble of the area started with a radio personality, maulana fazlullah, leader of the taliban.  he began to call minor adherence to islamic law ie. destroying CDs and DVDs but soon it snowballed into bigger things like the restriction of women rights and girls' rights to education. it is scary to think how easy it is for someone like fazlullah to come into power and how willing people are to follow his lead though it destroys lives.

i was appalled and frighten by all that had occurred in swat, even more so because i had no idea how bad it truly was.  when i read about horrible things in history, ie the holocaust, i was always think to myself, how did the world allow this to happen?  why didn't anyone stop it?  pre-internet, the excuse that no one knew what was going on was acceptable.  but what about now?  i mean malala had a blog on the bbc website that explained how her daily life was in swat and yet i had no idea about it. furthermore, how did pakinstan not intervene with all of this?  or the us?  i mean we were all for stopping al-qaeda yet didn't help out against the taliban.  i have to add that i admired how malala did critique the us government.  our relationship with the middle east is always messy and at times we truly are the enemy, and this was demonstrated here.  the taliban is truly frightening.  i can not imagine living with all of that violence and having to see dead bodies everywhere.  its sad to think how destructive humans can be, have we not learned from the past?  but then again, i am part of the problem not knowing what is going on in the world.

majority of this work was the history of the swat valley and malala's background.   i had always assumed she was just a random girl that was shot but it turns out that there was more to it.  kinda like learning that rosa parks and the bus incident was staged.  her father was an owner of a school and spoke out against the taliban and another political leaders.  as malala grew older, she began to speak out as well ie the bbc blog (though it was anonymous).  there was discussion about how her father putting her up to everything, which she addressed.  malala did it for herself and i believer her.  but obviously if she did not have her father as her father, i doubt any of this would have happen.

the last handful of chapters are devoted to the actual shooting.  again, i had no idea what was going so was very confused when she mentioned that she was shot in the eye in the foreword.  i even looked at pictures to see if she had a glass eye (i told you i'm horrible).  she was on a bus and man came up on the bus and asked who is malala?  no one answered but the other girls looked to her and she was shot at three times.  she was taken to the hospital and started to be treated.  two visiting doctors from england were in pakistan and asked to check on her.  one of the doctors remarked that the hospital was unfit to care for her and sadly none of her suggestions were taken into account.  they then decided to take malala abroad to have her treated.  and here is what shocked me, how political issues were the main priority in her recovery versus where would malala be treated the best.  there was an offer from john hopkins in the states, but due to the recent killing of osama bin laden (which the us did without notifying the pakistani government) the pakistani government did not want to send malala here.  i am not saying that america is the best place to be treated (though it probably is, see recent ebola outbreak) but politics should not have been a factor in helping malala recover.  i was appalled by what i had read.  malala ended up going to england, where she was taken excellent care of. sadly, she went on her own with a doctor as her legal guardian.  there was an issue with her parents passports, having to do with the pakistani government  being worried that her family would seek asylum in the uk or something.  again, really? that poor child woke up in a foreign country, after being shot in the head and her parents have been stopped by their own government from being with her.

as we know, malala did recover.  i was shocked to read about how they removed part of her skull and put in her stomach! her brain was swelling and part had to be removed to allow it do so.  her skull become infected so they couldn't use it so they gave her a platinum skull piece.  she also had an issue with one of her nerves and couldn't smile.  this was big thing for her parents apparently, but i felt like it was played up a bit.  i mean if my kid got shot in the head, i would be happy s/he were alive and alert and not the least bit concerned with a smile.  but to each their own.

malala also mentioned the hollywood celebs that tweeted about her etc.  and madge was actually trumped by angelina jolie in her book, i mean jolie did make a donation to her organization.

but this was an excellent read and i highly recommend it.  especially to every girl and woman!  as i said before, malala's story is truly amazing, and this book is a must read.  i mean the girl is the youngest nobel prize winner and the un has given her her own day.  and everyone, especially girls should have the right to learn!

  

a wild sheep chase. haruki murakami. (238)

i have read a handful of murakami books but have fallen behind on his latest works.  i bought a beautiful paperback edition of 1Q84, but have yet to read it.  i am not opening my paperback, but plan on getting the ebook to read from the library.  also i have not read his most recent novel, though i see it everywhere.  however, i decided one day that i really needed to start from the beginning and so i checked out a wild sheep chase.

i was recently asked if murakami was a favorite author of mine, and i couldn't say yes or no.  i enjoy his books but am often confused by them or shocked to the point of uncomfortableness that is hard to call them favorites though i find his work very intriguing.  but after finishing, a wild sheep chase, i can call him one of my favorites.

a wild sheep chase is exactly that, a wild sheep chase.  our narrator, we never learn his name, recently divorced and just turned thirty received letters from a old friend called the rat.  the rat sent him a photo of a mountain scene with sheep, and asked him to share it.  the narrator then placed it in a life insurance company's pr bulletin, not due to the rat's instructions but because it was in his desk.  this appearance of the photo was the catalyst for the wild sheep chase.

the narrator had a meeting with a man, in this meeting it is revealed that there is a boss that quietly and secretly ruled all of japan.  the man was the secretary to the boss.  the boss had taken ill and was on his death bed.  he had a cyst in his brain which the man believed was link to his power and was also connected to a sheep that was in the photo.  the sheep had a star on its back.  the secretary wanted the narrator to find that sheep and if he didn't he would destroy his life.

the narrator initially decided not to do it, he figured it was pointless, but at the urging of his girlfriend he decided too.  his girlfriend had magical ears (seriously, murakami is brillant at times) that helped lead the narrator in the right direction, ie helping them discover the dolphin hotel.  in the dolphin hotel, they discovered the sheep professor and from him learn the most outrageous but true story.

it turns out that the sheep professor was invaded by the sheep with the star on its back.  it was a powerful creature and used the professor to come to japan.  from there the sheep must have invaded the boss' body which explained how he came into power.  with this new knowledge, the narrator goes to the sheep professors old ranch where he used to breed sheep for the government.  

while waiting for the rat to returned, the narrator encountered the sheep man, which was a man dressed up as a sheep and seemed to be two souls, a sheep and a man,  within one oddly dressed body.  

then as if another twist could not happen, it turns out that the rat possessed the sheep man and that the rat was in fact dead.  his ghost or whatever, he kept the lights off so we do know what form the rat was in, came to visit the narrator and explained what happen.  it turned out that the rat grew up on the professors old ranch.  he was at the dolphin hotel and saw the photo of the ranch and decided to come to the ranch.  he then became possessed by the star sheep and committed suicide to kill of the sheep.  (wow! i know, insane but amazing.)

the boss' secretary, it turned out knew all of this and met the narrator as he returned down the hill, he needed the narrator as bait to pull out the rat.  however, the rat was brilliant and bombed the ranch and the secretary and hopefully destroying everything.

but yes, a crazy, bizarre but extremely interesting tale.  i mean i had no idea how it was going to end but i loved every twist and turn and random character that showed up.  murakami is truly brillant, i mean so weird but so great.  i look forward to read dance, dance, dance which is supposed to be a follow up to this.  i also look forward to reading the rest of murakami's work and will hopefully get caught up with everything.

love me back. merritt tierce. (237)

i saw merritt tierce's love me back on a book riot post and due to its cover, i decided to check it out.  you have to admit that the cover is quite intriguing, the neon lights, the sad yet hopefully sentiment.  i must admit that i am pretty good about judging a book by its cover, because i enjoyed this work.

i had no idea what love me back was about, when i picked it up.  i must have read a blurb about it on book riot but it didn't stick with me.  upon skimming the inside sleeve, i discovered that it was about a single mother and her work at restaurants.  i also learned that tierce was a "5 under 35" honoree and since i enjoyed molly antopol's the unamericans, i had high expectations for this work.  unjustly so, i know, but i did.

i have to say that love me back was beautifully written, i could not put it down, even though at times i was disgusted by what i read.  i guess that would be a testament to how well written it was. love me back is the story of marie, a young woman and her life working in restaurants.  marie, a single mother, though her daughter did not live with her, worked in a handful of restaurants, and spent her free time (the little time that she had, since she worked all the time) drinking, doing drugs, and sleeping with everyone she met at work.  marie's back story, which is revealed to us throughout the novel, and some details not until to the very end, was that marie's life was not so tragic, in fact, it was once filled with promise.  she was yale bound, but a church trip to mexico when she was seventeen, resulted in her being pregnant.  she ended up marrying the baby's father, and they lived together, but she ended up cheating on him, with everyone she worked with.  he learned of her cheating, after marie gave him chlamydia, which she contracted from one of the three men she was sleeping with at the time.  they separated, and he ended up with custody of the child.

throughout the novel, there are sections in which marie's stories are directed to her daughter, in which we learn of how her daughter came to be.  in her narrative, marie constantly spoke of wanting to do better for her daughter, or loving her daughter so much but it's just words.  in the end, one of marie's co-workers call her out on it, explaining that if they really wanted to be with their daughters, then they would be.  marie does love her daughter, but she does lie to herself about wanting to be there for her.  i am sure she loves her daughter, but as she admitted once she did not have that motherly instinct.

instead, the priorities in marie's life are drugs, alcohol, and sex.  i was disgusted and appalled by marie's actions.  i am all for one feeding their sexual appetite, but marie abused her body.  she was on self-destruction mode, she did drugs and had sex to distract herself from the pain she felt.  the pain that marie felt was never explicitly described, there didn't seem to be a specific source, other than life itself.  sure, her parents were overbearing, but they were initially helpful with the child, and she ran away from them.  her husband also seemed to be a good man, he was a responsible father and loved marie.  yet, it wasn't enough for marie.  i understand that yes, she lost her future, though never directly addressed, being unable to attend yale had to have had a negative effect on her.  however, instead of making her daughter the focus of her life, she instead sought ways to destroy herself.  and boy did she.  and i can understand the substance abuse to a certain extend, even the cutting and burning makes sense given her dealing with pain, however i could not believe what she allowed herself and others to do to her body sexually.  marie described situations in which she would do drugs and then let guys take turns with her in one night.  her last escapade before the novel closed, she had sex with brothers, in a moving truck?!?!?  it was disgusting to read about, and i couldn't imagine how someone can allow that to happen to themselves.  and i guess the frustrating part was that marie was better than that.  she was smart, but made bad decisions.   there was a handful of times in which she got herself clean, normally motivated by a man, but still she could clean.  she could have escaped the life she had but continue to life it. it was a very dark place that marie was in and i am grateful that i did not understand her.  

and in all honesty, i am not sure what to take away from this other then life is suffering.  and sometimes life deals you a shitty hand and instead of trying to make the best of it, you can just say fuck it and do what you want.  

regardless, of my approval of marie's life,  i do approve of tierce.  she is an amazing writer and i love forward to reading more from her.

oh and before i close i just have to add.  there was a part in which marie discussed how sometimes she will judge customers.  how they will come in, in jeans and order soft drinks and she thinks that there are going to waste her night and tip her poorly.  however, they end up asking for a bottle of champagne and wine and the next thing she knows they are leaving her a big tip.  this made me laugh because i feel like this happens to my friend larry and i when we go out to dinner.  he is a gm and is limited on his days off and sometimes we will go out to lunch or dinner and he will wear a sweatshirt and i look like i'm twelve.  and i'm pretty sure people are like why are these kids wasting my time.  and then we start ordering and it's majority of the menu and the servers realizes that we are going to get a good tip and that server's demeanor towards us totally changes.  lol

adam. ariel schrag. (236)

i requested adam after seeing it on flavorpill's must reads for june.  the premise sounded interesting, adam, a teen visiting his sister for the summer in new york became immersed in the lgbt community and mistaken for a trans person.  i imagined a book in which a sheltered young man learned an important life lesson of tolerance and acceptance.  this did occur but not in the way that i had expected it.

as i read and definitely once i was done, i wandered how the trans community felt about this work.  as an individual outside of the community, adam was very informative, i learned about how trans people identify themselves, the various procedures and methods they use tontransition and during transition and the political issues they support.  but at the same time, this teenager lied to an entire community and no one seemed to notice.  i mean that can speak to how truly accepting the community is that one can define themselves as they please and no one questions it.  however, it can also be framed as adam exploiting the community which is extremely intolerant.

i felt very uncomfortable reading about adam lying, to the point where i had to put the book down.  i know that in the end, gillian knew the truth all along, but that does not make adam's lying acceptable.  i was completely shocked that adam had sex with gillian without him telling gillian that he was not trans. i felt that adam violated gillian by not telling her the truth about his identity.  and i know people lie all the time about other factors ie wealth, relationship status, love, etc. to have sex with others, but i think one should be aware of their partner's gender prior to their having sex.  even though adam used a dildo, i still felt that he took advantage of gillian.  call me old-fashioned, but i do believe that you should be honest with the people you have sex with.

and i guess this is what schrag wanted to bring into question.  after i read adam. i googled to see how the trans community felt about this book and came across and article on book slut.  in it, the interviewer brought up the fact that he (i hope i am using the proper pronoun) does not feel the need to disclose that he was trans before having sex with someone, however, after reading adam, the interviewer needed to rethink this.  i personally believe that a trans person should reveal that they are trans.  i know that it's insensitive to request it since they are the gender that they identify with, but i think the other individual should know.  i know there is the risk of rejection due to this knowledge, but ideally we should have sex with people who accept us for who we are.  and i mean this for everyone, trans, cis, straight, gay, call me old-fashioned (again), but sex should be with people that appreciate you for being yourself.  (sorry that got really preachy).  i have never dated or had sex with a trans person so i can not say how i would react if i met a guy that i really liked, only to go home and found out he was born a girl.  if i really liked the guy, i would hope that i would be okay with it, but to be honest, i probably would be weirded out by it.  i don't know how i would react, but i would be glad that they were honest with me, instead of penetrating me with a dildo.  the dildo penetration, which i thought of as penis, i would view as a violation of my body.  i am not sure where it would fall on the spectrum of sexual violence, but to an extend, it would need to be frame so because i was consenting to having sex with a man and not a woman with a dildo.  i mean if it as a cis man that penetrated me with a dildo without my consent, i would definitely frame that as rape.  and this is essentially what adam did.  i don't know.  i hope i am not being insensitive, i just don't know what i would do if i was in gillian's position.  i guess to certain extent, your intuition would tell you, but still.  i know i would not be as cool about it as gillian.  i think i would be insulted more about being lied to then anything else in terms of identity.

and i have to add, adam was annoying at times.  i felt bad for the guy, i mean he was a teenager and they are that horrible, but sometimes i was like some trying so hard kid and be yourself.  in the end, he did learn to be himself.  i did think it was great that he became interested in gender identity.  all in all, an interesting read and a look into a subculture that the mainstream is not familiar with.  i also highly recommend reading the book slut interview after reading the book.

this is where i leave you. jonathan tropper.

my friend nina loaned me her copy of this is where i leave you handful of years ago (i should really return it), but i didn't read it.  i bought it on amazon because it was a daily deal, but still did not read it. i considered reading it when my grandma passed away, but wasn't sure if i was ready for it.  but what finally got me to read it was the fact that adam driver was in the movie version of it, along with jason bateman and tina fey.  my love for all three, especially driver, i decided to read so i could watch the film.

before i go on, i have to say based on what i read, i am sure driver was an excellent philip.  as i read, i totally driver was philip in mind (thanks to "girls" it was quite easy to do), even down to the random singing that he did.  i actually saw the movie cast as the characters in the book, because i imbd-ed the cast to see if adam was philip.  i think bateman was the perfect choice for jude.  and though i love her, i did not see tina fey as wendy.  i hate to be mean because i was a nerd in high school but i can't imagine tina fey being the girl everyone fell for in high school.  i know its so mean to say, i still love her, but really?  also, i can't imagine her having a romance with a ex-bad boy like horry.  i am happy with timothy olyphant's casting, mostly so i can drool! overall, i am looking forward to watching the movie, primarily because i think driver is going to be amazing.  i love love love loved the book and normally i don't like watching movies based on books, i love, because movies normally ruin it.  however, i think bateman and fey will be hilarious and if all else fails i'll just drool over driver. oh and of ben schwartz too!  love him as jean-ralphio on "parks and rec" and excited to watch him on the big screen too!

the novel was not at all what i expected, but in a good way.  i thought it would be some deep, meaningful, reflection on life and family since the foxmans were sitting shiva for their father.  however, it turns out that they were not practicing jews, so the novel turned out to be a lot funnier than i had anticipated.  

jude, the central character, and the perspective that we read from, in addition to dealing with his father's death is going through a rough patch right now, actually a more accurate adjective would be shitty patch.  he and his wife, jen, his college sweetheart, are currently separated because he found her in bed fucking (for lack of a better word) his boss.  this scene was shared in the story and was just as dramatizing for the reader as jude, but also extremely hilarious.  i think the reason this book is so great is that every single thought that crosses jude's mind was shared, there was no filter, the-horrible-i-could- never-share-it-but-i-definitely-thought-it-thoughts were shared.  due to this jude, became your best friend, you got frustrated with his actions, sympathized with things went wrong, and overall wanted the best for him.  and in my opinion the best would be for him to leave his wife, even though she was pregnant with his child (seriously, i swear, talk about a shitty patch, oh he found this out later, initially they thought it was his boss' child).  i understand that the lost of jude and jen's first child, had some serious repercussions and as jen explained she felt that jude had moved on and didn't provide any comfort to jen.  and i can understand that jen felt alone and depressed about this situation, however, the solution is not to have sex with your husband's boss, go to therapy, maybe try communicating to your husband but not an affair!  and from the scene that jude shared with us, it wasn't just sex, it was some serious fucking with jen making some crazy sounds.  so yeah, i didn't like jen.  i hope that jude ends up with his high school crush, penny, with whom jude has one of those pacts to marry if they aren't married by a certain age.  penny, though she was a total tease in high school, but i can see a good relationship blossoming between the two of them.  penny and jude went on a couple of dates, okay more like made out a lot and had sex, but she is a better option then jen.

in addition to all of this, jude also has to deal with his family because they are sitting shiva for their father.  and the foxmans, like every family, are screwed up but hilarious and always ready with a smartass remark (very much like my own family if i do say so).  to start, their mother, who flaunted her fake  breast was a shrink and a celebrity expert of parenting, and it will later will be revealed is bisexual and is dating their neighbor who was like a second mom to them.  paul, the eldest, was in charge of the family business, and he has his wife are trying for kids.  his wife is so desperate that she pretty much rapes jude though the term rape does not come up.  wendy and her husband barry have three kids but barry was more dedicated to his work than his family.  and wendy ended up sleeping with horry, their neighbor/best friend and son of their mom's new girlfriend.  philip, the baby and their parents had him later in life.  philip was the official fuck-up of the family, ie he showed up late to their father's service.  and though he was an asshole, the things he said were normally true and needed to be said.  but as you can see a lot of family drama, but that is a given with families.

 jude gets along with his sister wendy and littler brother philip for the most part, but his relationship with his older brother paul was a little estranged   it was later shared that paul lost his promising baseball career after a freak accident in which a dog attacked him after he and jude went to beat up this guy that kneed jude.  jude thought that paul resented him for this, but in fact it was revealed that paul resented the fact that jude never visited him or cared about his recovery, which was true.  jude turned out to be the ass.  and isn't that how it is, we go around blaming our family for all the wrongs in our life, but what we need to do take responsibility for our own actions.  we shouldn't keep a list of who did what for who, because at the end of the day, it's your family, you should have wanted to help.  whenever my little sister and i would fight, my grandma would always remind us that we might think we hate each other and can do without the another but we were family and that in the end, we were all we had.  when my grandma was ill in the hospital, right before she passed, my family came together, and there was reassurance to her that we would all take care of each other.  we haven't encountered anything (thankfully) that has required us to work as a support unit for one another, but i can see that there is some division among my mom's brothers and sisters. i don't know what the solution is for my family to have the togetherness that my grandmother wanted, i almost wish we had sat shiva, so that my aunts and uncles could have worked out all of their issues.  but i do have faith, i know they will come together, when they need to. 

back to the novel.  as i said, i was surprised by how funny the novel was, given its serious premise.  tropper is a wonderful writer and made me laugh with the most random comments throughout his work.  here are some of clever parts i enjoyed:

his description of linda callen, their neighbor and mom's closest friend turned lover, "like a wise mother rate from a disney cartoon, the sort that will sit in a tiny rocking chair and wear little rat glasses and be voiced by judi dench or hellen mirren."  

the description of wendy's son, cole, "cole is in what wendy refers to as his e.t. stage, wherein he waddles around the house like e.t., exploring and trashing everything within reach, making strange little noises as he goes."

i also loved how he described cole's two-year-old speech as "his immigrant english."   lol what a perfect metaphor for kids learning english.

talking about falling in love, "and even if you didn't fall in love in the eighties, in your mind it will all feel like the eighties, all innocent and airbrushed, with bright colors and shoulder pads and pat benatar or the cure on soundtrack."

this simile, "flashing him a look sharp enough for a circumcision."

"jen starts to silently cry, like those statues of the virgin mary that are always turning up in south american villages."  what a beautiful yet funny description of silent cry!

as you can see tropper has a way with words and the novel was very entertaining.

oh but i have to admit i did have one complaint.  there was a lot of ass looking in this book.  and i get it, guys check out girls' asses, but it seemed like every women under 40 had a perfect ass and that just seemed impossible.  i'm going to give jude the benefit of the doubt and think he just saw every ass as perfect because he was so fucked up.

but all in all, a wonderful book that i very much enjoyed.  and i can't wait for the movie!!! oh and hopefully i marry a jew but if i don't, my family will totally sit shiva.  though at my rate, i might only have one kid.

2 a.m. at the cat's pajamas. marie-helene bertino. (235)

i saw ads for 2 a.m. at the cat's pajamas on goodreads, but didn't give it much consideration. 

i also saw it on flavorpill's list of must-reads for august and still did not think of checking it out.  however, after reading mira jacob recommend 2 a.m. at the cat's pajamas on a book riot post on authors' summer readings (i loved her book), i decided to check it out.

oh and before i go on, i have to say that i impressed myself.  i had read 4 of the 5 authors (maggie shipstead, emma straub, kevin wilson, eleanor henderson) with blurbs on the back of novel.   (just wanted to brag about how well read i am.)

what a delightful book!!! (i should warn you now that this has spoilers, so go pick up the book first. also i have decided, i'm going to stop adding this into post, one should just know that there will always be spoilers.  you have been warned.)

the book takes place within a day (kind of like an season of  24), each chapter noted by the time, with the climax being at 2 a.m. at the cat's pajamas, a jazz club in philadelphia.  at the center of  2 a.m. at the cat's pajamas is madeline, a 9-year-old girl with the need/dream/goal to sing.  i fell in love with madeline, though she was not your typical 9-year-old, she was a diamond in the rough.  she smoked cigarettes, cursed like a sailor and didn't put up with any bullshit.  the reason for madeline's tough exterior was because she lost her mother and father.  her mother to cancer, her father to the inability to cope to his wife's death.  madeline's father was home but did not take care of madeline, instead he laid around the house in a drunken stupor, listening to jazz records.  with both parents absent, mrs. santiago, the owner of cafe near her home, was madeline's primary caretaker.  as madeline's story unfolded, we saw that friends and people that knew her mother, helped take care of her as well.

though madeline's mother was physically gone, her spirit wasn't, for she still gave her daughter advice via "how to" cards left in a recipe box.  i love the idea of these cards (maybe i will steal it for when i get married, have my guest write how to cards.)  the cards range in topics from "how to sew a button, to how to make wrapping ribbons into curlicues, how to check car oil, how to talk about a book you haven't read."  the one that madeline was looking for "how to get over poetic horrors", which  listed "ice cream, chocolate, whiskey, nina simone "live at the village gate" dance, national geographic, get your hair and nails done, sing."  cute idea, huh!  the last one sing, madeline could actually due.  in a sweet memory shared via her father, we learn that madeline could sing before she could talk, thus starting a life long love of jazz.  this love of jazz and need to sing resulted in madeline heading toward the cat's pajamas.

with madeline as lead, there is an assortment of characters as her supporting cast.  another central character was miss sarina greene, madeline's teacher.  sarina moved back to philadelphia when her mother became ill.  divorced, she was haunted by ben, a boy that broke her heart at prom, many years ago.  due to a chance encounter with a women she knew from high school, sarina and ben cross paths again.  their love story was great but i did become frustrated by it.  people just need to be honest, love would be so much easier, if everyone was truthful about their feelings.  i must add i did enjoy reading about sarina and ben's walking adventure around philadelphia, though i do not understand how they could stand jumping into fountains with it being so cold.

another important character was lorca, the owner of the cat's pajamas.  i must admit that i did become confused by all the characters that were introduced via him.  his subplots include the possible losing of the cat's pajamas due to too many violations and coming to terms with his son's talent as a jazz guitarist.  though lorca loved jazz, he did not want his son to lead the life of a jazz musician.

the thing that i enjoyed about this novel was that every character was given a background in which we were allowed to contextualize them.  even the minor players that seemed to hold no real significance.  i appreciated this because as humans we only see our story, and never really get to know all the random people that cross our path.  it was nice in this universe to know what everyone was dealing with and who they were, it made the world seem less big and scary.

so what exactly happened at 2 a.m. at the cat's pajamas?!?!!  magic.  madeline made it up on stage and changed people, freed them filled them with hope.  she didn't save the cat's pajamas, but she filled hope for whatever lays ahead.  as ben told the man while waiting for the train, "everything is going to be fine." even philadelphia with its "sorry shit" couldn't hold anyone down.

a truly delightful book, with memorable characters.  bertino is an excellent writer, very witty, and had a rhythm to her writing.  i also appreciated how there were so many mini cliffhangers in the book, having to quickly turn the page and start the next chapter to discover how the story would unfold.  a great read, it was definitely the cat's pajamas.

 

bad feminist. roxane gay. (234)

i, first came across roxane gay's collection of essays, bad feminist, via flavorpill.  i didn't give it much thought but after she was all over my instagram feed (i follow a lot of bookish accounts), i decided i needed to check it out.  and i am glad i did!  this is a must read for every woman  . . . and man too.

i consider myself a feminist, i believe that women are not the weaker sex and should be treated the same as men.  women should not be restricted by the boundaries that society had deemed appropriate and acceptable for them.  i took a women studies course at ucla and did very well in it (i should have minored in women studies.) i have made it a point to read more women authors this year.  it's not a title, most people associated me with, but feminist is one that i would proud about if labeled it.  (and this is prior to bey making it cool to be a feminist.)

however, i do realize that like gay, i am a bad feminist.  and like gay, i embrace that title.  as gay shared,

i embrace the label of bad feminist because i am human.  i'm messy.  i'm not trying to be an example.  i am not trying to be perfect.  i am not trying to say i have all the answers.  i am not trying to say i'm right.  i am just trying--trying to support what i believe in, trying to do some good in the world, trying to make some noise with my writing while being myself:  a woman who loves pink and likes to get freaky and sometimes dances her ass off to music, she "knows" is terrible for women and who sometimes plays dumb with repairmen because it's easier to let them feel macho than it is to stand on the moral high ground.

this felt spot on.  i do believe in equality between sexes but love it when men open doors for me and if on a date, i do expect them to pay for dinner.  if i am carrying something heavy and with a male, i expected him to carry it for me.  it doesn't make me less of a feminist, just human.

the term bad feminist allows for these inconsistencies not only with us as humans but also feminism as a movement.   feminism, like all movements, covers a variety of concerns and issues, gay's point is that in order to be a feminist you don't need to be true to everything, but simply believe in the progression of women's rights.  she does point out that feminism is flawed with its lack of concern for women of color and homosexuals.  however, though it is flawed, gay is hopefully that her voice along with others will help create room for everyone within feminism.

before i go, i must add that as i read the intro, i felt bad about my judging of beyonce.  my dislike of beyonce came with an anthem that i should have loved, "run the world (girls)."  i felt like she was stealing other artists' thunder, the cool funky part of this song was actually major lazer and then she performed that billboard awards she totally copied another artist.  all this left a bad taste in my mouth.  then, the whole feminist thing seemed more like a marketing ploy than anything else.  i mean it was great that she sampled chimamanda nogzi adichie, because the world needed to hear that ted talk and read her novels.  i read americanah because of "flawless". however, i felt like adichie's words were being bastardized by the context beyonce put them in.  how does "my man made me feel so god damn fine, i'm flawless!" align with the discussion women not fighting for or finding worth in the attention from men.  and as my cousin kristel pointed out, doesn't "bow down bitches" go against adichie's words that women should not be in competition with one a other.  for these reasons, my dislike began to grow.  also the music video for "pretty hurts" was so self-righteous, yes i am sure beyonce struggled with her body and it not finding into the model mold, but lets get serious, she now has designers creating for her, so can she not preach about the world putting pressure on women to be pretty in her couture.  the fashion industry she shows off via her dazzling outfits is the beast that feeds these high standards of beauty.  however, gay made me realize that i was being a bad feminist for critiquing bey like this.  it is ignorant of me to expect her to be perfect, so bey, i am sorry.  also, i should be grateful that she has made it so that girls and women today are not afraid to be labelled a feminist.

just like i don't always agree with beyonce, it was the same with gay.  for the most part, i agreed with points she made however, i did reach some points where i lost interest in what she had to say.  but regardless of how i felt, i was engaged, i loved her writing style and her witty little quips made me feel like we could be friends.

the essays are divided into the following sections:  [me], [gender & sexuality], [race & entertainment], [politics, gender & race].

[me] as expected discussed gay, her work and her hobby, competitive scrabble.  yes, competitive scrabble, that essay was a hoot and gay is good!

the first essay in this section discussed her work as a professor and what she encountered as an advisor for a black students association.  she also explained how a co-workers remark about affirmative action drove her to work hard, ultimately gaining her ph.d but still worried she isn't good enough.  

the second essay, "peculiar beliefs" made the interesting point of everyone neglecting to recognize their privilege and only wanting to focus on their oppression.  though i am a person of color, a female and came from a single parent home and lived in a rural area, i was aware that i was privileged growing up.  this knowledge came via kids pointing out the material goods (aka nike shoes and guess jeans) that i had in elementary school.  we weren't rich but i was privileged for the area.  i also had a family that was very involved and cared about my education.  now i am not saying that i life the high life, but just demonstrating the fact that i never saw myself as disadvantaged.  as gay called out her readers at the end, "if you are reading this essay, you have some kind of privilege . . . if you cannot recognize your privilege, you have a lot of work to do; get started."

[gender & sexuality] cover just that.  the first essay, "how to be friends with a another woman" is a definite must read!  i wanted to copy it and share it with all of my friends, primarily to thank them for being just great friends!  just great sound advice.  i even instagramed my favorite:

the second essay "girls, girls, girls", as i was anticipating, discussed hbo's "girls" and i understand all of gay's critiques, but still think "girls" is the best,  gay's brings up the color issue which i have discussed before, but just add some food for thought because gay also discussed how women need a television show that shows women with their act together.  to which i say but that is not the point of "girls".  dunham created the show to demonstrate what life is like for twentysomethings now and i think she is spot on.  i am a thirtysomething but see my past messy self in the girls of "girls".  secondly, it's unfortunate because the lack of diversity on show is not due to dunham's racism but probably from the lack of diversity in her action life.  and i don't hate her for it, it's just a reality of life.  i have always had very diverse group of friends, but not everyone is like that.  people tend to stick to their own race, it's unfortunate but it happens.  also growing up, i never new any jewish people so a depiction of my life would exclude jewish people but it shouldn't make that work anti-semitic, it is simply a reflection of the reality that i knew.  gay recognized that it is unfair to expect "girls" to be everything to everyone and that we have put an unjust demand for it to be inclusive.  and that the real issue is that programming as a whole needs to change.  i have to add that gay mentioned "girlfriends" in his article, and how it showed women of color being responsible and having jobs.  i really need to start watching it, i hope netflix or hulu pick it up to show.

in "i was once miss america", gay plays tribute to the girls of "sweet valley high". i read part of that series but was not into like gay was into it.  and though reading the novel as a haitian girl, she was able to identify with the twins of sweet valley.  as she explained, "some experiences are universal.  a girl is a girl whether she lives in omaha or sweet valley."

in "garnish, glorious spectacles", i recognized how bad my television guilty pleasures, bravo's housewives and all of the celebreality vh1 shows, truly were, not due to it being bad television, but the horrible, female stereotypes it upheld.  gay loved these shows too, so i don't feel as bad.  but it is horrible how we watch these shows to feel better about herself and be thankful that we aren't such train wrecks.  and in the end, gay points out that perhaps we watch it because its actual a reflection of ourselves.  

in "the careless language of sexual violence", i was appalled to learn about how the new york times framed the gang-raping of an 11 year old girl as the victim's fault and sympathized with the rapist.  i'm not always up to date on current events, so this was not on my radar when it happened.  however, i did google and read the article and other posts about it.  i still can not believe that the nyt allowed for this story to be ran.  i will add that i am thankful to life in an each in which i can google a story and also see all of the critiques of it as well in a search.

another thing that i did not agree with gay, her love of the hunger games trilogy.  though her love for these works, kind of makes me want to actual finish all three books.  i read the hunger games on the advice of friends before the movies and all the hoopla around it.  i, for one, did not enjoy it.  there was a lot of living going on for something that was suppose to be a fight to the death.  i mean i get it, its a young adult novel, but i was still disappointed that it turned into some kind of weird love story.  so i saw the first movie, and actually enjoyed it more.  then just stopped caring about the hunger games.  however, now i feel like i should read it, because katniss is a good role model for girls, as gay pointed out.  so i feel like i should read them in the name of girls that rock!

i am so thankful that gay wrote "dear young ladies who love chris brown so much that they would let him beat them".  i, for one, do not understand how chris brown is still famous and how women still love him.  this article addresses my confusion.

"blurred lines, indeed" made me feel so bad.  i absolutely loved "blurred lines" when it came out.  it was my jam, i once had a dj play it for me twice in one night.  i loved the beat and it was catchy and the lyrics were funny.  however, i did not realize just how misogynistic it was, okay, maybe i did, but i still loved to dance to it.  i like the music but i i hate the message.  i know i can solve this problem by not listening to it, at the same time its just music.  though gay points out that this "lighten up" mentality does not alleviate these problems.  i guess i can just hope for a future in which misogynistic undertones in pop culture will go away because it has gone away in our culture.

gay discussed the 50 shades of gray trilogy, and all i can say, is how did women read that crap?  i mean i am glad that women were reading, but seriously there was nothing sexy about a controlling man.  controlling in the bedroom, if you are into bdsm life style yes.  but controlling as in buying the company you work for and wanting to know where you are all the time, is just frightening and women should not tolerate it just because the sex is good.  i have never read it, and now i never will.   i will add, this essay discussed how prince charming is just an illusion and that women need to understand that they can not change men and if a man is not treating you as he should be, you need to get out of that relationship.

on last note about this section, in it gay discussed in pieces, how she was a victim of sexual violence as a young girl.  at the risk of sounding insensitive or using the wrong words, just wanted to share that i appreciate her allowing the reader into such a private matter.  her writing on it felt therapeutic though i can't speak for her.  i will add that she did create an environment in which her readers that are victims of sexual violence can feel comfort in knowing that they are not alone. 

[race & entertainment], this collection of essays, is where i disagreed with gay the most.  primarily, because i see movies as entertainment and though it is insensitive of me, just felt like sometimes you have to take movies just as an escape then rather analyze everything.  and i know that movies influence how we frame the world and also reflect how we frame the world, but i felt she was being too critical in this section,

[politics, gender & race].  her article "when twitter does what journalism can't" gay demonstrated the power of twitter.  again i am bad with the current events, but so i learned about senator wendy davis' filibuster the next day.  however, gay learned of it via twitter thanks to one activist that live tweeted the filibuster.  gay also explained that the larger networks did not cover it, but there was a livefeed via youtube, where she was able to watch it.  it is shocking how much of our news gets shared via twitter and facebook.  i have mentioned before in post that i always get my celebrity death news via twitter.  oh and just wanted to add kudos to senator davis for being an amazing woman!!!

"the inalienable rights of women" is another must read for women.  it was one that got my blood boiling because of the little control, we women have over our bodies.  and i think what is even more frustrating that there is so much discussion about birth control, yet men can just walk down to the corner store and pick up condoms whenever they want.  where is the regulation of that?!?!?  it was so upsetting to read about some states requiring women to get ultrasounds before receiving an abortion.  virginia went so far as to require transvaginal ultrasounds.  i have discussed it before, i have never been in a position in which i needed to decide whether or not i wanted an abortion.  however, i can not imagine being in that position and not only having to struggle with my making the right decision for myself but then having the government add in their ignorant two cents.  at the end of the day, it is my body and i need to make the decision that is best for me.  women need to be allowed to chose for themselves without the government interfering.  furthermore, i do agree with gay that if the government does continue to limit women's right in regards to abortions, women will go underground to take care of the situation as they have throughout history.

these are just some highlights from the essays.  gay covered a variety of issues and gave me a lot of food for thought.  this was an excellent read not only for giving voice to issues that are often ignored but for simply encouraging the reader to question the world we live in.  this novel doesn't have all the answers or solve the problems we face as society, instead it adds dialogue to ongoing discussions of gender, race, sexuality, politics, in hopes that the world will improve.