sex and the city is very reminiscent of the group. unfortunately, with all the progress that women have made, we are still fighting the same battles as the generations before us. one likes to think that our mothers can not understand what we face today but in fact they faced the exact same issues (this was demonstrated in the novel with dottie and her mother.)
the group is set in the 30's and follows the lives of a group of women, kay, dottie, helena, norine, libby, priss, polly, pokey and lakey, who became friends while at vassar college. the novel spans 10 years of their lives, opening with their attendance of kay's wedding and sadly ending with her funeral. throughout the ten years, they encounter all sorts of issues related to love, family, career, and sex, and as mentioned before the issues are not outdated and are still relevant today.
before i go on, i want to clarify that the group is #richwhitepeopleproblems, which is it is clearly aware of. the characters are aware that they have money which results in very different experiences from most people. there is an attempt to have a poor character, polly, her being on scholarship was always mentioned, but her family used to be wealthy, so she doesn't really count. she did donate blood for money but the fact that she was able to get a line of credit, demonstrated that she wasn't that badly off. this critique can also be made of sex and the city and it was made about girls. however, as i have defended girls in the past, some female issues transcend class and i, as a women, have always been able to identify though i am a women of color and poor.
the first issue that made me laugh due to it's relevance to today was dick's talk with dottie about sex and love. dottie, a virgin, was warned by dick brown, the man who she lost her virginity to not fall in love with him, because women always do. it made me laugh to read it because times have not changed because this myth is still around today. i was virgin when i entered college and it seemed like every guy i ever hooked up and that i considered losing my virginity to, always seemed hesitant because they didn't want me to fall in love with them. looking back there are two of them i am glad i didn't lose my virginity to either one of them. one of those two i did eventually sleep with and for the record there was nothing he did that would result in my loving him forever. lol. and for the record, i did not fall in love with the man that i lose my virginity to. he is a swell guy (all of a sudden i'm from the 30's too) and interesting, and am glad i lost my virginity to him but i did not fall madly in love with him because of this act. so there goes that. we, women need to put an end to this myth! i mean in the end, dottie did reveal that she loved dick, but she wasn't in love with dick brown but the idea of dick brown and that is something i am guilty of doing. i spent the greater part of my twenties in love with someone but realizing now that i wasn't in love with the true him but this ideal him i had created in my head. women turning men into myth is not a myth but we, women, always falling in love with our virginity takers is a bunch of bs.
the other thing that i found interesting from dottie and dick's relationship was how birth control was capable of implying so much about a relationship. it was shocking to see how kay's husband, harald, explained how dick's requesting and keeping her diaphragm at his home could define their relationship status. it is ridiculous that dottie was fitted and everything yet she couldn't store her diaphragm in her own home for fear of it being found by a roommate. it was also crazy to consider how when people were infidel, their lover usually stored the diaphgram at his home. imagine having a man in control of something so personal. thank god today women can hold onto their own birth control, i can't imagine living in an era in which a man would be responsible for something that i use to regulate my body, oh wait, i take that back, because birth control is still an issue for women today. (see: hobby lobby) but it is nice that we can keep our birth control in our homes, bathrooms and purses. and it is progress that we women can hold condoms in our purse, no need relying on the man to ensure safe sex, we can do it ourselves!
another issue that the group covered was breastfeeding. when priss was in the hospital with her son, she had to deal with the her husband who wanted her to breastfeed and the hospital that wanted to give the baby formula. priss' husband, a pediatrician, explained the reasons for the baby being breastfeed and he was right, the baby was putting weight on at a good rate. also it would be good for his immune system. however, the hospital wanted to put the baby on formula because he wasn't sleeping through the night and waking up hungry and thus disrupting the maternity ward. poor, yet weak, priss feeling pressure from the doctor and nurses ended up giving her son formula. i found myself frustrated for priss not having a backbone, but i mean hospitals are intimidating. i'm always lost with hospital jargon and usually just go with what the doctor says because it's less confusing that way. so i can sympathize with priss there. however, i for one plan on breastfeeding my child, i don't know if its the generation i am apart of it but i can't imagine giving my child, formula. i don't have children so i'm not sure what the world's stance is on breastfeeding, i mean it should be widely accepted right? though formula companies are still in business. the current issue we have is people being upset about women breastfeeding in public. this is the current hot item when it comes to breastfeeding, but i think most people agree it should be done, just in private. i also want to add that i will allow my child to cry because as my grandma always told us, it's good for their lungs. grandma bea would have agreed with priss' husband on that one!
last but not least it was great to see a lesbian in the story and of all people, lakey! the most glamorous of them all. and kudos to her for finding herself a lover and staying abroad so that she could live the life that she wanted without judgement. i was not expecting her to be a lesbian but it was a nice surprise. it was also nice to see the group not being too judgmental and treating lakey and her partner like any other couple.
aside the women issues that were covered, it was a interesting read just in terms of drama. we, women, like to fill our life with drama, that is not a myth! though it isn't gender exclusive, my friend peter, is a shining example of a male that loves drama. lol (i doubt he reads my blog but if he does, sorry.) but there was drama in this book. i for one, could not stand nordine! i can not believe that she slept with kay's husband?!?!? and her justification for it was ridiculous! i also couldn't believe the psychiatrist's explanation that her husband's impotency was because he could only get it up for "fallen women". and as much as i was upset with nordine for sleeping with harald, i can't believe that helen didn't say anything. what a bad friend! if someone was cheating on me, i would want my friend to tell me!
also before i go on, i have to address the psychoanalysis mentioned in the novel. i am all for people seeing a psychologist because mental health is important. however, it was a different beast back then. it was disgusting to see how nordine used it to justify her affair. and polly's lover's estranged wife used it to manipulate him back into a relationship. also it was shocking to read how the girls stopped polly from marrying a boy because his family had a history of mental illness since her father was bipolar and they were worried due to that. i mean its nice that they were so considerate but it seems odd for that to be an issue. sex and the city did touch on this when carrie dated her high school sweetheart (played by david duchvony) while he was in a psych ward, but i feel back then you were considered ill for the lost ridiculous reasons (see: girl, interrupted.) though i will add i know someone that was dating someone who had an episode with mental illness and i advised against them dating unless he got help. so yeah i guess i don't know, maybe the girls were right.
back to the novel, the group is timeless and a must read for women of all ages, though probably best to be read in your twenties. however, it is filled with experience and lessons that are relevant at any age.
and as for filling my girls' void i couldn't imagine hannah in this world because she is too neruotic, maybe she would be nordine. lol but marnie and shosh would definitely be comfortable in this world. oh and jessa would definitely be lakey.
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