this is where i leave you. jonathan tropper.

my friend nina loaned me her copy of this is where i leave you handful of years ago (i should really return it), but i didn't read it.  i bought it on amazon because it was a daily deal, but still did not read it. i considered reading it when my grandma passed away, but wasn't sure if i was ready for it.  but what finally got me to read it was the fact that adam driver was in the movie version of it, along with jason bateman and tina fey.  my love for all three, especially driver, i decided to read so i could watch the film.

before i go on, i have to say based on what i read, i am sure driver was an excellent philip.  as i read, i totally driver was philip in mind (thanks to "girls" it was quite easy to do), even down to the random singing that he did.  i actually saw the movie cast as the characters in the book, because i imbd-ed the cast to see if adam was philip.  i think bateman was the perfect choice for jude.  and though i love her, i did not see tina fey as wendy.  i hate to be mean because i was a nerd in high school but i can't imagine tina fey being the girl everyone fell for in high school.  i know its so mean to say, i still love her, but really?  also, i can't imagine her having a romance with a ex-bad boy like horry.  i am happy with timothy olyphant's casting, mostly so i can drool! overall, i am looking forward to watching the movie, primarily because i think driver is going to be amazing.  i love love love loved the book and normally i don't like watching movies based on books, i love, because movies normally ruin it.  however, i think bateman and fey will be hilarious and if all else fails i'll just drool over driver. oh and of ben schwartz too!  love him as jean-ralphio on "parks and rec" and excited to watch him on the big screen too!

the novel was not at all what i expected, but in a good way.  i thought it would be some deep, meaningful, reflection on life and family since the foxmans were sitting shiva for their father.  however, it turns out that they were not practicing jews, so the novel turned out to be a lot funnier than i had anticipated.  

jude, the central character, and the perspective that we read from, in addition to dealing with his father's death is going through a rough patch right now, actually a more accurate adjective would be shitty patch.  he and his wife, jen, his college sweetheart, are currently separated because he found her in bed fucking (for lack of a better word) his boss.  this scene was shared in the story and was just as dramatizing for the reader as jude, but also extremely hilarious.  i think the reason this book is so great is that every single thought that crosses jude's mind was shared, there was no filter, the-horrible-i-could- never-share-it-but-i-definitely-thought-it-thoughts were shared.  due to this jude, became your best friend, you got frustrated with his actions, sympathized with things went wrong, and overall wanted the best for him.  and in my opinion the best would be for him to leave his wife, even though she was pregnant with his child (seriously, i swear, talk about a shitty patch, oh he found this out later, initially they thought it was his boss' child).  i understand that the lost of jude and jen's first child, had some serious repercussions and as jen explained she felt that jude had moved on and didn't provide any comfort to jen.  and i can understand that jen felt alone and depressed about this situation, however, the solution is not to have sex with your husband's boss, go to therapy, maybe try communicating to your husband but not an affair!  and from the scene that jude shared with us, it wasn't just sex, it was some serious fucking with jen making some crazy sounds.  so yeah, i didn't like jen.  i hope that jude ends up with his high school crush, penny, with whom jude has one of those pacts to marry if they aren't married by a certain age.  penny, though she was a total tease in high school, but i can see a good relationship blossoming between the two of them.  penny and jude went on a couple of dates, okay more like made out a lot and had sex, but she is a better option then jen.

in addition to all of this, jude also has to deal with his family because they are sitting shiva for their father.  and the foxmans, like every family, are screwed up but hilarious and always ready with a smartass remark (very much like my own family if i do say so).  to start, their mother, who flaunted her fake  breast was a shrink and a celebrity expert of parenting, and it will later will be revealed is bisexual and is dating their neighbor who was like a second mom to them.  paul, the eldest, was in charge of the family business, and he has his wife are trying for kids.  his wife is so desperate that she pretty much rapes jude though the term rape does not come up.  wendy and her husband barry have three kids but barry was more dedicated to his work than his family.  and wendy ended up sleeping with horry, their neighbor/best friend and son of their mom's new girlfriend.  philip, the baby and their parents had him later in life.  philip was the official fuck-up of the family, ie he showed up late to their father's service.  and though he was an asshole, the things he said were normally true and needed to be said.  but as you can see a lot of family drama, but that is a given with families.

 jude gets along with his sister wendy and littler brother philip for the most part, but his relationship with his older brother paul was a little estranged   it was later shared that paul lost his promising baseball career after a freak accident in which a dog attacked him after he and jude went to beat up this guy that kneed jude.  jude thought that paul resented him for this, but in fact it was revealed that paul resented the fact that jude never visited him or cared about his recovery, which was true.  jude turned out to be the ass.  and isn't that how it is, we go around blaming our family for all the wrongs in our life, but what we need to do take responsibility for our own actions.  we shouldn't keep a list of who did what for who, because at the end of the day, it's your family, you should have wanted to help.  whenever my little sister and i would fight, my grandma would always remind us that we might think we hate each other and can do without the another but we were family and that in the end, we were all we had.  when my grandma was ill in the hospital, right before she passed, my family came together, and there was reassurance to her that we would all take care of each other.  we haven't encountered anything (thankfully) that has required us to work as a support unit for one another, but i can see that there is some division among my mom's brothers and sisters. i don't know what the solution is for my family to have the togetherness that my grandmother wanted, i almost wish we had sat shiva, so that my aunts and uncles could have worked out all of their issues.  but i do have faith, i know they will come together, when they need to. 

back to the novel.  as i said, i was surprised by how funny the novel was, given its serious premise.  tropper is a wonderful writer and made me laugh with the most random comments throughout his work.  here are some of clever parts i enjoyed:

his description of linda callen, their neighbor and mom's closest friend turned lover, "like a wise mother rate from a disney cartoon, the sort that will sit in a tiny rocking chair and wear little rat glasses and be voiced by judi dench or hellen mirren."  

the description of wendy's son, cole, "cole is in what wendy refers to as his e.t. stage, wherein he waddles around the house like e.t., exploring and trashing everything within reach, making strange little noises as he goes."

i also loved how he described cole's two-year-old speech as "his immigrant english."   lol what a perfect metaphor for kids learning english.

talking about falling in love, "and even if you didn't fall in love in the eighties, in your mind it will all feel like the eighties, all innocent and airbrushed, with bright colors and shoulder pads and pat benatar or the cure on soundtrack."

this simile, "flashing him a look sharp enough for a circumcision."

"jen starts to silently cry, like those statues of the virgin mary that are always turning up in south american villages."  what a beautiful yet funny description of silent cry!

as you can see tropper has a way with words and the novel was very entertaining.

oh but i have to admit i did have one complaint.  there was a lot of ass looking in this book.  and i get it, guys check out girls' asses, but it seemed like every women under 40 had a perfect ass and that just seemed impossible.  i'm going to give jude the benefit of the doubt and think he just saw every ass as perfect because he was so fucked up.

but all in all, a wonderful book that i very much enjoyed.  and i can't wait for the movie!!! oh and hopefully i marry a jew but if i don't, my family will totally sit shiva.  though at my rate, i might only have one kid.

the awakening. kate chopin.

i decided to reread kate chopin's the awakening for banned book week.  i came across it while sharing a link to the american library association list of banned/challenged classics.  i have a huge tbr pile right now and decided the awakening would be a fast read, so i decided to squeeze it for banned books week.

i read the awakening in college.  i think it was for a women's studies course.  however, i didn't remember much from it other than the protagonist drowned herself in the sea over a lover.

i hate to say this considering the awakening is an example of early feminist writing, but i did not enjoy the story.  the issue i had with edna, was the same issues that i had with anna karenina.  i just can not sympathize with women that abandon their duties as a mother.  i also can not tolerate women who abandon their duties as wife via infidelity.  in the awakening, edna abandoned her husband and children because she fell in love with another man, robert.  also, robert unleashed all of her inner desires which resulted in her having another affair with a different gentleman.  if edna was single, i would be in full support of her multiple lovers but the fact that she was a mother and a wife caused my dislike of her.

i am normally in support of women not being restricted by gender roles, however, when you decide to become a mother or a wife, there are basic duties that you agree to by assuming these roles.  so for the most part you must meet the most basic duties, care for your children and care for your husband.  there is flexibility within these roles ie women should not be restrict to the realm of the home, but if you can't handle that you shouldn't have assumed the role in the first place.  and i know that i am writing this as a 20th/21st century woman, and it is easy for me to critique because i have the freedom to choose when i want to be a mother or a wife, but i can not sympathize with women who abandon their families, past or present.   it is selfish versus feminist.  

before i go on, so i don't sound completely ignorant, i do realize that at the time chopin was writing, women had only one option in life, marriage.  most women married for financial stability versus actual love and most women did not have a choice when it came to marriage, so many women found themselves in the same situation as edna.  so for that reason i do admire this work for addressing an experience that women encountered but could not discuss.  and to be perfectly honest, if i was in her situation in that time and place, i am not sure what i would have done.  but suicide seems extreme, i mean both edna and anna karenina decided to kill themselves then lead a life without love, which sounds brave but is actually cowardly, especially considering that they had children.  i seen no romance in leaving your children motherless.  i guess chopin wanted to demonstrate how women in these situations have no real options, and rather then life a lie, some women wished for death.

it all seems bleak but it is tough being a women, especially due to the expectations that society places on us.  and i guess i should be sympathetic toward edna because she wasn't the mothering type yet became a mother out of society's expectations.  and i can not hate her for that, some people just don't have a mothering instinct.  okay, maybe i was a little two harsh on edna earlier, but in my defense, it's difficult to seperate my modern mind from the historical context, especially considering how women issues are pretty much the same throughout all of history.

for me, personally, it comes down to the fact that i believe women should not be restricted by their gender, we should do what feels natural to us.  yet, at the same time, i am old-fashioned and conservative when it comes to marriage and motherhood.  to me, marriage vows should be upheld, one should keep the promises that they have made.  and i know that people fall out of love, and sometimes the person your married changes, or you change, life happens.  i am fine with divorce, but i think once you start to feel uncertain about your marriage, you should discuss it with your partner versus cheat.  i know edna didn't really have this option but i hope a modern day work like this would have the protagonist going that route.

and though i do not agree with the infidelity, i must praise chopin for writing about female sexuality.  though i wish edna's awakening came before marriage rather than after but it could have never really been the other way.  the sad truth is that women are expected to be the virgin bride, especially back then.  it is also unfortunate that edna's husband did not awaken her.  but this work is important for women to read (then and now), so that they can see that it is fine to be a sexual person, that you are not abnormal for desiring sex. 

i was raised mormon and though i planned on saving myself for marriage as the church instructed, i must admit that i saw nothing wrong with masturbating though i should have according to the church.  i have no idea where i got the notion that masturbation was okay, maybe it was from the novels (the perks of being a wallflower mentioned masturbation) and the teen magazines i read.  one of my friends and i openly discussed masturbation and i remember encouraging other friends to explore, not by in a "let's have a circle jerk" way,  but in a "hey, don't be ashamed to explore your body" way.  sorry, i just got really honest.  but i guess i am demonstrating how i could have been edna in this modern day.  i am not saying that the standards of the church are wrong, teens should not have sex lives, but their sexuality shouldn't be denied.  i mean i didn't grow up to be this sex-crazed slut because i masturbated in high school.  and even if i did, oh well, it is my body.

wow.  this post kind of went all over the place, but there is a lot of layers to the awakening.  it simply as a story was not for me, i did not sympathize with edna.  however, the issues of motherhood, gender roles, and sexuality that arose from it were important for me to contemplate.  i think the later reason is why this book was banned.  it awoken in people the idea that not all women fit into the mold deemed appropriate by society.  for this, and it's feminist significance, the awakening is a must read for every woman . . . and every man too!  

the vacationers. emma straub (233).

i had originally checked out the vacationers back in july because it was on everyone's summer reads list, however, i decided to wait until my vacation to hawaii to read it.  i figured it would be the perfect setting for it.  since the wait list was long for the book, i decided to check out the ebook but i received it before my trip.  i ended up canceling that and requesting it again.  luckily, my turn occurred just in time for my trip.  seriously, though with a cover like that i couldn't sit on my couch and read it at home.

the vacationers is the story of the post family's summer trip to mallorca.  the vacation was off to a rocky start before a single plane even took off due to all the extra baggage everyone brought along with them.  franny and jim post are on the verge of seperation due to jim sleeping with an intern from his work and consequently his resignation from work.  ironically, the trip was suppose to be celebrating their anniversary. their daughter, slyvia, was dealing with her own drama, losing the boy she liked to a friend and having embarassed herself at a party, was happy to leave on this trip and had a goal of losing her virginity.  their son, bobby, unaware of father's infidelity, brought along his much older girlfriend, carmen (which the family did not approve of) , and his financial troubles from miami (which the family was unaware of.) and rounding out the group, was sylvia's best friend, charlie and his husband, lawrence (who was oddly jealous of their relationship).  charles and lawrence's extra baggage was they are in the midst of adopting a baby, though charles still seemed on the fence about the idea of being a father.

of course, with all of this drama, chaos does ensue, but it is hard to pity any of them because they are on a luxurious vacation. lives were falling apart but at least there was beaches, a pool, and a mansion to distract them. furthermore, it's a family trip, of course there is going to be chaos.  and in the end, everything worked out for everyone and for those of you who are curious, sylvia lost her viriginity!

to be perfectly honest, i am not sure why this was on everyone's must read list for summer.  i have definitely read more entertaining and delightful books this summer.  i mean it was a perfect beach read since it was light and all the drama was kept me reading, but for the most part i think it was chosen due to its cover.  that cover is adorable and screams summer.  it is definitely a book i would have picked up on cover alone.  but would have been disappointed with myself for choosing a book by its covef,especially  since i am normally so good at it!

if you haven't read this yet, i would wait until next summer because it would less disappointing if read on a beach somewhere.  

one more thing. b.j. novak.

if you are a frequenter of this blog, you know that i am a tad obsessed with mindy kaling.  and of course, one can not be obsessed with mindy kaling without being obsessed with b.j. novak.  (quick random share, if you haven't read this buzzfeed article about their friendship, you should.  get ready to fall in love with the both of them!)  though i have to admit that novak first (or rather finally) caught my eye when ryan started wearing those glasses on the office and i rediscovered him via my love for mindy.  any hoot, regardless, i am a fan of novak and was super excited for his collection of short stories!

so excited that i preordered a hardcover and a digital copy!  i spent the weeks leading up to its release (which was last tuesday) googling to see if novak planned on a book tour.  i don't know if a full tour is planned but discovered he is stopping in LA!  and yes i got tickets!!!  i preordered the book to guarantee tickets but sadly since the bookstore is in pasadena and i had no way of getting the book before his talk, i decided to order it for my kindle so i could be prepared for the talk.  and what was even more amazing was the fact that being on the west coast, i got it at 10 pm, monday night! woo woo!

and with all this effort and excitement over this book, i hate to admit this but it was not worth all of my hoopla.  

i think initially i wanted one more thing to be is everyone hanging out without me? or bossypants, so  i had to remind myself that it was a collection of short stories.  and secondly, novak's book had a bad spot on my reading list.  january unofficially became the month of short stories, and every collection i read was amazing so i mean novak had some tough acts to follow.

i mean all of one more thing's stories weren't bad, it was just that ones that were made me wonder why were they included.  i think the problem with this collection is lack of editing.  too many bad stories were included that should have been cut out. 

also the opening story about the tortoise and the hare definitely did not have any wow power and the only tone it set was a disappointing one.  i have to admit that i was even disappointed by the kellogg story which people kept on mentioning in reviews.  there was an interesting twist in that stoey but nothing incredible that deserved a mentioning.

the stories i wish were edited out were:

"the rematch", "dark matter", "the ambulance driver", "walking on eggshells (or: when i loved tony robbins)", "they kept driving faster and outran the rain", "closure", and "kate moss".  the absence of those stories would have made for a better book.  

i know this sounds like a harsh review but i expected more from novak. also i have to say not every story was bad, there were a handful of gems.

my favorite was "sophia" . it is also the story from which the book gets its title.  sophia is about a sex robot that falls in love with a human.  of course, i thought of spike jonze's her and just like her, through something absurd we discover truths about relationship and human behavior.  i love how sophia explained to the narrator how everything feels infinite but it is finite and we do not commit because we assume there is one more thing out there that is better but there really isn't, it's just that love ironically gives us that feeling.  very deep for a sex robot.

i also enjoyed the nelson mandela roast. when i first read the title, i was like ekkk.  since he past away last year, i wondered if there was a debate about whether or not to include it,  but i am glad they did.  it was very well-written and read just like an actual roast!

i of course loved the missed connection stories because i of course enjoy missed connections.

i also thought the wikipedia brown story was adorable.  i didn't grow up reading encyclopedia brown as a kid.  my friend danny is a fan so it has to be a good series.  i loved how sally was always trying to stop wikipedia brown from distracting them because i always lose hours of my life randomly "researching" on wikipedia.

i also enjoyed "no one goes to heaven to see sam fogelberg" because i love the idea of heaven being non stop concerts!  i can't wait to die if that is the case!!

"chris hansen at the justin bieber concert" was very clever too because people would be suspicious of they saw hansen (from to catch a predator) at a justin bieber concert!

i also enjoyed the "shorter" stories:

(even though i love carrot cake!)

(seriously best love advice.)

(muahahahahahah)

i also enjoyed the new hitler because we do need a new positive one! and that "constructive criticism" kid was a great architect!  

i also enjoyed how punny (funny via puns) novak was in stories like "the market was down", "monster:  the roller coaster", and "the best thing in the world awards".

actually i enjoyed most of the stories but the bad ones just left the bigger impression on me.  and even though one more thing didn't completely knock my socks off, i am still recommending it.  i have to admit that i was disappointed with myself for not finding in funnier.  i mean if mindy and i should bffs, shouldn't i find b.j. hilarious?!?!?  but i mean they aren't always in sync.  oh and i have to admit that this dedication is enough reason to check out the book:

(seriously could they be any cuter?!?!?!?)

but a decent first book.  a nice try but really novak should look into a better editor for his next book.