brooklyn. colm tóibín. (320)

i picked up brooklyn because i had seen advertisements for the movie based on it all over goodreads. and given the title and my hipster tendencies, i decided to check it out.  it had to be about williamsburg, right?!?  lol. wrong.

brooklyn tells the story of a young irish girl, eilis that immigrated to america in the early 1950's.  unable to find work in ireland, eilis' sister arranged for her to move to brooklyn and live in a home for irish girls that had immigrated. eilis moved out on her own and dealt with the issues of adjusting to a new country and being on her own.

i really wanted to love this novel, given the setting and that it is historic fiction, but i didn't get completely lost in the story.  i admired eilis for her independence, especially considering it was the 1950s.  she moved to a country on her own, supported herself with a job in retail.  at her job, she did not discriminate against african-americans when the store she worked for being to sell stockings for them.  when she began dating, she dated outside of her ethnic group, dating an italian.  she also did not suppress her sexuality and had premarital sex.  as a feminist, i would name eilis as one of my book sheros, but i wasn't on board for her love story.

her love story goes that she fell in love with an italian boy named tony.  everything was going well when her sister suddenly died due to a heart condition.  upon her returning to ireland to visit her family, she and tony secretly married.  upon her return to ireland, since she had been to america, her status was different.  instead of being a social outcast, everyone was interested in her.  eilis then began to be courted by a man that had previously ignored her, jim.  eilis was then caught in a dilemma, she could stay in ireland, live a comfortable life with jim, and take care of her mother.  or she could return to tony.  in the end, she was confront by a woman she used to work for that was going to expose what she had done and so she returned to brooklyn and tony.

i have to admit i thought she should have stayed in ireland, but to each their own.  i guess she ultimately chose the life with the most freedom.  there is a parallel there.  anyway, though enjoyable the story didn't grip me.  i mean i am not sure why they turned it into a movie.  however, i will see it because nick hornby adapted the screenplay and i love

him!

lumberjanes: vol. 1. noelle stevenson, grace ellis, brooke a. allen. (295)

i read about lumberjanes on book riot.  a comic book for girls, how could the feminist in me resist?!?!

i wasn't sure what to expect, and i have to add that i was thrown off my the sci-fi element of it.  the girls fight off three-eyed foxes that warn them of a kitten holy.  i had anticipated a more realistic comic, but regardless this comic was great.

the comic was about five girls: jo, april, mal, molly, and ripley, they always find themselves in crazy situations at lumberjane camp.  the girls are a motley crew.  different but they get along and have their own special talent.  also two of them are lesbian (well it was hinted at) so nice to see some diversity.  oh i should add their camp director was named rosie and was very rosie the riveter-esque.

each chapter started off with a description of a lumberjane badge that relates to the adventure they find themselves in.  my favorite badge was the puncheon master badge which is given for great puns:  

cute, huh?

as i mentioned before, at camp the girls find themselves in crazy situations.  they have to fight off a river monster, crazy foxes, statues and brain-washed boy scouts (but not the official boy scouts.) they fought off everyone, because these girls got muscle! for example, april won a arm-wrestling match with a statute and then quoted kelis, when she was asked to show the girls how she did it:  

but these girls have brains too!! jo used the fibonacci sequence to help them get across a pit!  and april solved anagrams to get them out of the cave!  it was great to see them being super smart too!

since this was volume 1, i don't know how the story ends.  all i know so far is:

-they need to be aware of the kitten holy.

-they keep on being attacked by three-eyed creatures.

-they found a sacred bow and arrow.

-and the boy scouts are weird crazy cult.

i look forward to reading the next one to find out how all of this ends.

ms. marvel. wilson alphona. (274)

ms. mavel has been on my radar for a while.  i considered buying it, because i wasn't too sure if the library had it, but they did!  i have to admit that i know nothing about the marvel universe.  i haven't see any of the recent marvel movies (i am a movie snob and only watch things with actors or directors, i love or if like it did really well at sundance.)  so i am confused as to how another superhero shows up when i google ms. marvel.  can someone please explain this to me?

to start, i love love love the premise of ms. marvel.  the real identity of ms. marvel is kamala, a muslim teenager.  she has strict parents and doesn't always agree with some of the more sexist aspects of islam (also the bacon restriction) but her desire to do good, is fueled from the koran, which is nice to see.  and being a girl of color, i of course love seeing a girl of color as a superhero!

however, my love for her kind of stops there.  i didn't enjoy the stories in the comic as much as i thought i would.  i guess i had an issue with who is going to clean up all of the messes that she made?  like at school, who is going to pay for all of that?  and how is the bodega owner going to be cool with his store being damaged.

and i know that this is all kind of getting to know my super powers and stuff, but i didn't get what her power was.  morphing right?  i also kind of felt she shouldn't have rushed into the saving like she did, but glad that she did.  and i mean she is getting better, so hopefully the storylines will get better too.

all in all, i am happy that she is in the marvel universe, but hope she has more interesting stories.

also i think she would make a cute halloween costume!  i should make that happen! but it would be this first attempt at a costume with a fanny pack that i go for!

how to be a woman. caitlin moran. (251)

after reading moran's how to build a girl, i had to read how to be a woman.  and can i just say, i absolutely loved it and her.  if you are a woman, its a must read!

so this work is categorized as a memoir but i feel like it's more than that.  each chapter starts off with an event from moran's life but the lesson learned can be applied to all of us.

there is so much for me to write about, maybe i will go through chapter by chapter.  well maybe just favorite chapters.

"i become furry" in this chapter, moran discussed when her pubic hair began to grow and how she would shave it because she was scared of growing up and of course it.  this segues into a discussion on how we women work so hard to be hairless.  she shares how so much planning occurs when women go to a party via a conversation with a friend, which made me laugh cos it is so true.  her friend uncertain if she is going to sleep with this guy after a party, doesn't know if and when she should get waxed.  seriously it's such a bitch to have to deal with pubic hair.  you know my hurt hand?  it's from me trying to wax my upper life by myself before meeting up with a boy i thought i was in love with.  i mean i have given up on daily maintenance for my bush that only gets spruced up when i think someone is going to see it.  (if i was in a committed relationship, it would only get spruced up on special occasions, hence why i might still be single.) but i feel like i should have pubic hair, i'm an adult woman not a prepubescent child.  i refuse to be completely hairless down there, i mean i do clean it up when it needs to be but for the most part i let it be.  also nipple hair, i used to be so embarrassed by mine, but then now i just shave it when i need to.  i am a person, we have hair.  i mean the one on top of my head is quite lovely.  i think that should be the main focus.  and just like moran shared at the end, when she lost her virginity, the man did not care what the state of her pubic hair was.  its like my friend peter would always tells us in college, guys don't care if your underwear matches your bra, its just going to end up coming off anyway.

"i don't know what to call my breast".  this of course discussed finally getting breast and how they are referred to as.  this lead into a discussion on what to call your vagina.  i for one use vagina.  as a child growing up, our family didn't give it a nickname it was just our private part.  but what caused my decision to use vagina as the term to refer to my vagina was that one time at my work, a little girl told one of my tutor's that her vagina hurt. the tutor was so surprised by her use of vagina, but i mean the girl was right that was what she had.  we told her mom, it turns out she had been having some urinary issues and the mom also explained that she didn't want her daughter to use some silly term for her vagina so had her call it that.  i decided to do the same.

"i am a feminist".  so i have been on a bit of feminist kick since last year, after reading bad feminist, i have always seen myself as a feminist, but i feel like i am truly embracing it and this book reminded me why we need to reclaim this title.  as i shared on my instagram page:

love her for this!! but seriously this book isn't some feminist agenda, well it kinda is, but it's really just some good ol' girl talk about women issues.  though i will say i didn't always agree with what moran wrote, but then again, i don't have to, part of this new feminism is allowing acceptance of all ideas as long as progress is being made for women.  but if you are a woman and you want to be treated as an equal, then guess what, you are a feminist!

"i am in love", caitlin shared her horrible boyfriend that she thought she could change and from which she took abuse because she thought it was love.  we all have had this type of situation.  i blame romantic comedies for making us think we can change men that really aren't good for us.

"i go lap-dancing".  i felt guilty when i read it, because i have always been a bit of a "cool" girl, a guy's i mean strip clubs are gross, its a place men go to have women dance for them.  

"i get into fashion" fashion is expensive and i like moran don't spend a lot on handbags.  she did once and it was stolen.  though i am glad she wrote about how horrible heels are.  i really wish i could walk in them.  i recently discovered that my arch doesn't rest completely on the arc of the shoe so this might be why i can't wear heels. or maybe i am flat foot, i don't know.  i need to go see someone to verify this.

"abortion" what i admired about this piece was that moran was completely honest about having an abortion.  she didn't have one because she was too young, or unwed, or even sick, but because she knew she could not handle having another child.  that sounds horrible and insensitive but its honest.  she discussed how there is a notion of "good aids" ie someone getting it via blood transfusion and "bad aids" someone that gets its via drug needles.  the same kind be said for abortion.  moran got what some would consider a "bad abortion."  it appears selfish, but not all women are mothers, trust me i have worked with kids my whole life and some people are truly unfit to be mothers.  why bring a child into the world if you can not care for it like a mother should?  i know it sounds insensitive because life is life, a baby didn't choose to be born, but at the same time there is so much suffering in the world, why add to it.  at the end of the day, it's the pregnant woman's choice, she is the only one that can make the right decision for herself.  it might not be something that everyone agrees with, but then again are only truly responsible for ourselves.  

moran discussed a handful of other topics as well, pornography, childbirth (her first birth really grossed me out, i couldn't read it), bras, role models, and plastic surgery.  oh and growing up in the nineties, she writes alot about the riot grrl movement, which i need to revisit.  my roommate samira introduced me to bikini kill and bratmobile, so i have a taste but i need to get some more!

i just realized that this blog is about how my life relates to what she wrote about versus analysis of what she wrote.  but you need to read it and enjoy it yourself!  and all in all though it does explain how to be a woman, in the end, we learn that moran just wants to be a human, just one of the "guys" (which i think discredits her notions of feminism, because it still holds up equality on male terms.  but hey you can't win them all.  and regardless, this was funny book to read, so i forgive her!

i am malala: the girl who stood up for education and was shot by the taliban. malala yousafzai. christina lamb. (239)

i am a horrible person and never really keep up with anything outside the realm of my little world.  i am  horrible about knowing what is going on in the world, current events and politics are sadly not concerns of mine.  i get most of my news scrolling through facebook, but never take the time to read an actual article, must headlines, nor do i take the time to research anything.

and to be perfectly honest, i knew of malala only because madonna had her name written on her back at the concert i went to at the staples center.  madonna, of course, also spoke about what happened to malala. but again to be horrible and honest, i don't remember much, i mean i was in the golden triangle for a madonna, my mind was freaking out over that fact.

i had seen post about i am malala, but when malala was awarded the nobel peace prize and became the youngest recipient of the award, i decided to put in my request for it at the library.

before i go on, i must share one critique, since this work was written with christina lamb, i couldn't help but be skeptical about what i was reading.  i know it doesn't really matter because at the end of the day, it's the message that is important versus how authentically this was malala.  but i couldn't help but wonder how much of what i read was framed by lamb.

in addition to this, i know that malala's cause is important, but the book did become redundant with malala really driving to home her point about education.  it was like okay, i get it.  at some points.  the book also seemed to be very aware of its audience and played it safe for the most point, it painted malala as this very pious and studious girl.  i mean i complained about anne frank being too #teenageproblems but it would have been nice to see malala the girl versus malala the advocate.  i hope when she is an older she will write another book on her own and be completely honest.

other than that this is amazing book because malala's story is truly amazing.

i am confused by the middle east, i don't whose side to be on or who to trust.  i don't know who should be allowed to rule over what area and who has actual claims to what lands.  this work demonstrated just how chaotic it really is.  everyone is confused.  malala lived in the swat valley of the pakistan.  the book discussed the history of swat valley. it went through and explained the confusing past of the militant leaders that plagued the area.  some of things mentioned reminded me of salman rushdie's midnight's children.  i can not give you a clear time line or explanation of leaders.  however, the real trouble of the area started with a radio personality, maulana fazlullah, leader of the taliban.  he began to call minor adherence to islamic law ie. destroying CDs and DVDs but soon it snowballed into bigger things like the restriction of women rights and girls' rights to education. it is scary to think how easy it is for someone like fazlullah to come into power and how willing people are to follow his lead though it destroys lives.

i was appalled and frighten by all that had occurred in swat, even more so because i had no idea how bad it truly was.  when i read about horrible things in history, ie the holocaust, i was always think to myself, how did the world allow this to happen?  why didn't anyone stop it?  pre-internet, the excuse that no one knew what was going on was acceptable.  but what about now?  i mean malala had a blog on the bbc website that explained how her daily life was in swat and yet i had no idea about it. furthermore, how did pakinstan not intervene with all of this?  or the us?  i mean we were all for stopping al-qaeda yet didn't help out against the taliban.  i have to add that i admired how malala did critique the us government.  our relationship with the middle east is always messy and at times we truly are the enemy, and this was demonstrated here.  the taliban is truly frightening.  i can not imagine living with all of that violence and having to see dead bodies everywhere.  its sad to think how destructive humans can be, have we not learned from the past?  but then again, i am part of the problem not knowing what is going on in the world.

majority of this work was the history of the swat valley and malala's background.   i had always assumed she was just a random girl that was shot but it turns out that there was more to it.  kinda like learning that rosa parks and the bus incident was staged.  her father was an owner of a school and spoke out against the taliban and another political leaders.  as malala grew older, she began to speak out as well ie the bbc blog (though it was anonymous).  there was discussion about how her father putting her up to everything, which she addressed.  malala did it for herself and i believer her.  but obviously if she did not have her father as her father, i doubt any of this would have happen.

the last handful of chapters are devoted to the actual shooting.  again, i had no idea what was going so was very confused when she mentioned that she was shot in the eye in the foreword.  i even looked at pictures to see if she had a glass eye (i told you i'm horrible).  she was on a bus and man came up on the bus and asked who is malala?  no one answered but the other girls looked to her and she was shot at three times.  she was taken to the hospital and started to be treated.  two visiting doctors from england were in pakistan and asked to check on her.  one of the doctors remarked that the hospital was unfit to care for her and sadly none of her suggestions were taken into account.  they then decided to take malala abroad to have her treated.  and here is what shocked me, how political issues were the main priority in her recovery versus where would malala be treated the best.  there was an offer from john hopkins in the states, but due to the recent killing of osama bin laden (which the us did without notifying the pakistani government) the pakistani government did not want to send malala here.  i am not saying that america is the best place to be treated (though it probably is, see recent ebola outbreak) but politics should not have been a factor in helping malala recover.  i was appalled by what i had read.  malala ended up going to england, where she was taken excellent care of. sadly, she went on her own with a doctor as her legal guardian.  there was an issue with her parents passports, having to do with the pakistani government  being worried that her family would seek asylum in the uk or something.  again, really? that poor child woke up in a foreign country, after being shot in the head and her parents have been stopped by their own government from being with her.

as we know, malala did recover.  i was shocked to read about how they removed part of her skull and put in her stomach! her brain was swelling and part had to be removed to allow it do so.  her skull become infected so they couldn't use it so they gave her a platinum skull piece.  she also had an issue with one of her nerves and couldn't smile.  this was big thing for her parents apparently, but i felt like it was played up a bit.  i mean if my kid got shot in the head, i would be happy s/he were alive and alert and not the least bit concerned with a smile.  but to each their own.

malala also mentioned the hollywood celebs that tweeted about her etc.  and madge was actually trumped by angelina jolie in her book, i mean jolie did make a donation to her organization.

but this was an excellent read and i highly recommend it.  especially to every girl and woman!  as i said before, malala's story is truly amazing, and this book is a must read.  i mean the girl is the youngest nobel prize winner and the un has given her her own day.  and everyone, especially girls should have the right to learn!

  

bad feminist. roxane gay. (234)

i, first came across roxane gay's collection of essays, bad feminist, via flavorpill.  i didn't give it much thought but after she was all over my instagram feed (i follow a lot of bookish accounts), i decided i needed to check it out.  and i am glad i did!  this is a must read for every woman  . . . and man too.

i consider myself a feminist, i believe that women are not the weaker sex and should be treated the same as men.  women should not be restricted by the boundaries that society had deemed appropriate and acceptable for them.  i took a women studies course at ucla and did very well in it (i should have minored in women studies.) i have made it a point to read more women authors this year.  it's not a title, most people associated me with, but feminist is one that i would proud about if labeled it.  (and this is prior to bey making it cool to be a feminist.)

however, i do realize that like gay, i am a bad feminist.  and like gay, i embrace that title.  as gay shared,

i embrace the label of bad feminist because i am human.  i'm messy.  i'm not trying to be an example.  i am not trying to be perfect.  i am not trying to say i have all the answers.  i am not trying to say i'm right.  i am just trying--trying to support what i believe in, trying to do some good in the world, trying to make some noise with my writing while being myself:  a woman who loves pink and likes to get freaky and sometimes dances her ass off to music, she "knows" is terrible for women and who sometimes plays dumb with repairmen because it's easier to let them feel macho than it is to stand on the moral high ground.

this felt spot on.  i do believe in equality between sexes but love it when men open doors for me and if on a date, i do expect them to pay for dinner.  if i am carrying something heavy and with a male, i expected him to carry it for me.  it doesn't make me less of a feminist, just human.

the term bad feminist allows for these inconsistencies not only with us as humans but also feminism as a movement.   feminism, like all movements, covers a variety of concerns and issues, gay's point is that in order to be a feminist you don't need to be true to everything, but simply believe in the progression of women's rights.  she does point out that feminism is flawed with its lack of concern for women of color and homosexuals.  however, though it is flawed, gay is hopefully that her voice along with others will help create room for everyone within feminism.

before i go, i must add that as i read the intro, i felt bad about my judging of beyonce.  my dislike of beyonce came with an anthem that i should have loved, "run the world (girls)."  i felt like she was stealing other artists' thunder, the cool funky part of this song was actually major lazer and then she performed that billboard awards she totally copied another artist.  all this left a bad taste in my mouth.  then, the whole feminist thing seemed more like a marketing ploy than anything else.  i mean it was great that she sampled chimamanda nogzi adichie, because the world needed to hear that ted talk and read her novels.  i read americanah because of "flawless". however, i felt like adichie's words were being bastardized by the context beyonce put them in.  how does "my man made me feel so god damn fine, i'm flawless!" align with the discussion women not fighting for or finding worth in the attention from men.  and as my cousin kristel pointed out, doesn't "bow down bitches" go against adichie's words that women should not be in competition with one a other.  for these reasons, my dislike began to grow.  also the music video for "pretty hurts" was so self-righteous, yes i am sure beyonce struggled with her body and it not finding into the model mold, but lets get serious, she now has designers creating for her, so can she not preach about the world putting pressure on women to be pretty in her couture.  the fashion industry she shows off via her dazzling outfits is the beast that feeds these high standards of beauty.  however, gay made me realize that i was being a bad feminist for critiquing bey like this.  it is ignorant of me to expect her to be perfect, so bey, i am sorry.  also, i should be grateful that she has made it so that girls and women today are not afraid to be labelled a feminist.

just like i don't always agree with beyonce, it was the same with gay.  for the most part, i agreed with points she made however, i did reach some points where i lost interest in what she had to say.  but regardless of how i felt, i was engaged, i loved her writing style and her witty little quips made me feel like we could be friends.

the essays are divided into the following sections:  [me], [gender & sexuality], [race & entertainment], [politics, gender & race].

[me] as expected discussed gay, her work and her hobby, competitive scrabble.  yes, competitive scrabble, that essay was a hoot and gay is good!

the first essay in this section discussed her work as a professor and what she encountered as an advisor for a black students association.  she also explained how a co-workers remark about affirmative action drove her to work hard, ultimately gaining her ph.d but still worried she isn't good enough.  

the second essay, "peculiar beliefs" made the interesting point of everyone neglecting to recognize their privilege and only wanting to focus on their oppression.  though i am a person of color, a female and came from a single parent home and lived in a rural area, i was aware that i was privileged growing up.  this knowledge came via kids pointing out the material goods (aka nike shoes and guess jeans) that i had in elementary school.  we weren't rich but i was privileged for the area.  i also had a family that was very involved and cared about my education.  now i am not saying that i life the high life, but just demonstrating the fact that i never saw myself as disadvantaged.  as gay called out her readers at the end, "if you are reading this essay, you have some kind of privilege . . . if you cannot recognize your privilege, you have a lot of work to do; get started."

[gender & sexuality] cover just that.  the first essay, "how to be friends with a another woman" is a definite must read!  i wanted to copy it and share it with all of my friends, primarily to thank them for being just great friends!  just great sound advice.  i even instagramed my favorite:

the second essay "girls, girls, girls", as i was anticipating, discussed hbo's "girls" and i understand all of gay's critiques, but still think "girls" is the best,  gay's brings up the color issue which i have discussed before, but just add some food for thought because gay also discussed how women need a television show that shows women with their act together.  to which i say but that is not the point of "girls".  dunham created the show to demonstrate what life is like for twentysomethings now and i think she is spot on.  i am a thirtysomething but see my past messy self in the girls of "girls".  secondly, it's unfortunate because the lack of diversity on show is not due to dunham's racism but probably from the lack of diversity in her action life.  and i don't hate her for it, it's just a reality of life.  i have always had very diverse group of friends, but not everyone is like that.  people tend to stick to their own race, it's unfortunate but it happens.  also growing up, i never new any jewish people so a depiction of my life would exclude jewish people but it shouldn't make that work anti-semitic, it is simply a reflection of the reality that i knew.  gay recognized that it is unfair to expect "girls" to be everything to everyone and that we have put an unjust demand for it to be inclusive.  and that the real issue is that programming as a whole needs to change.  i have to add that gay mentioned "girlfriends" in his article, and how it showed women of color being responsible and having jobs.  i really need to start watching it, i hope netflix or hulu pick it up to show.

in "i was once miss america", gay plays tribute to the girls of "sweet valley high". i read part of that series but was not into like gay was into it.  and though reading the novel as a haitian girl, she was able to identify with the twins of sweet valley.  as she explained, "some experiences are universal.  a girl is a girl whether she lives in omaha or sweet valley."

in "garnish, glorious spectacles", i recognized how bad my television guilty pleasures, bravo's housewives and all of the celebreality vh1 shows, truly were, not due to it being bad television, but the horrible, female stereotypes it upheld.  gay loved these shows too, so i don't feel as bad.  but it is horrible how we watch these shows to feel better about herself and be thankful that we aren't such train wrecks.  and in the end, gay points out that perhaps we watch it because its actual a reflection of ourselves.  

in "the careless language of sexual violence", i was appalled to learn about how the new york times framed the gang-raping of an 11 year old girl as the victim's fault and sympathized with the rapist.  i'm not always up to date on current events, so this was not on my radar when it happened.  however, i did google and read the article and other posts about it.  i still can not believe that the nyt allowed for this story to be ran.  i will add that i am thankful to life in an each in which i can google a story and also see all of the critiques of it as well in a search.

another thing that i did not agree with gay, her love of the hunger games trilogy.  though her love for these works, kind of makes me want to actual finish all three books.  i read the hunger games on the advice of friends before the movies and all the hoopla around it.  i, for one, did not enjoy it.  there was a lot of living going on for something that was suppose to be a fight to the death.  i mean i get it, its a young adult novel, but i was still disappointed that it turned into some kind of weird love story.  so i saw the first movie, and actually enjoyed it more.  then just stopped caring about the hunger games.  however, now i feel like i should read it, because katniss is a good role model for girls, as gay pointed out.  so i feel like i should read them in the name of girls that rock!

i am so thankful that gay wrote "dear young ladies who love chris brown so much that they would let him beat them".  i, for one, do not understand how chris brown is still famous and how women still love him.  this article addresses my confusion.

"blurred lines, indeed" made me feel so bad.  i absolutely loved "blurred lines" when it came out.  it was my jam, i once had a dj play it for me twice in one night.  i loved the beat and it was catchy and the lyrics were funny.  however, i did not realize just how misogynistic it was, okay, maybe i did, but i still loved to dance to it.  i like the music but i i hate the message.  i know i can solve this problem by not listening to it, at the same time its just music.  though gay points out that this "lighten up" mentality does not alleviate these problems.  i guess i can just hope for a future in which misogynistic undertones in pop culture will go away because it has gone away in our culture.

gay discussed the 50 shades of gray trilogy, and all i can say, is how did women read that crap?  i mean i am glad that women were reading, but seriously there was nothing sexy about a controlling man.  controlling in the bedroom, if you are into bdsm life style yes.  but controlling as in buying the company you work for and wanting to know where you are all the time, is just frightening and women should not tolerate it just because the sex is good.  i have never read it, and now i never will.   i will add, this essay discussed how prince charming is just an illusion and that women need to understand that they can not change men and if a man is not treating you as he should be, you need to get out of that relationship.

on last note about this section, in it gay discussed in pieces, how she was a victim of sexual violence as a young girl.  at the risk of sounding insensitive or using the wrong words, just wanted to share that i appreciate her allowing the reader into such a private matter.  her writing on it felt therapeutic though i can't speak for her.  i will add that she did create an environment in which her readers that are victims of sexual violence can feel comfort in knowing that they are not alone. 

[race & entertainment], this collection of essays, is where i disagreed with gay the most.  primarily, because i see movies as entertainment and though it is insensitive of me, just felt like sometimes you have to take movies just as an escape then rather analyze everything.  and i know that movies influence how we frame the world and also reflect how we frame the world, but i felt she was being too critical in this section,

[politics, gender & race].  her article "when twitter does what journalism can't" gay demonstrated the power of twitter.  again i am bad with the current events, but so i learned about senator wendy davis' filibuster the next day.  however, gay learned of it via twitter thanks to one activist that live tweeted the filibuster.  gay also explained that the larger networks did not cover it, but there was a livefeed via youtube, where she was able to watch it.  it is shocking how much of our news gets shared via twitter and facebook.  i have mentioned before in post that i always get my celebrity death news via twitter.  oh and just wanted to add kudos to senator davis for being an amazing woman!!!

"the inalienable rights of women" is another must read for women.  it was one that got my blood boiling because of the little control, we women have over our bodies.  and i think what is even more frustrating that there is so much discussion about birth control, yet men can just walk down to the corner store and pick up condoms whenever they want.  where is the regulation of that?!?!?  it was so upsetting to read about some states requiring women to get ultrasounds before receiving an abortion.  virginia went so far as to require transvaginal ultrasounds.  i have discussed it before, i have never been in a position in which i needed to decide whether or not i wanted an abortion.  however, i can not imagine being in that position and not only having to struggle with my making the right decision for myself but then having the government add in their ignorant two cents.  at the end of the day, it is my body and i need to make the decision that is best for me.  women need to be allowed to chose for themselves without the government interfering.  furthermore, i do agree with gay that if the government does continue to limit women's right in regards to abortions, women will go underground to take care of the situation as they have throughout history.

these are just some highlights from the essays.  gay covered a variety of issues and gave me a lot of food for thought.  this was an excellent read not only for giving voice to issues that are often ignored but for simply encouraging the reader to question the world we live in.  this novel doesn't have all the answers or solve the problems we face as society, instead it adds dialogue to ongoing discussions of gender, race, sexuality, politics, in hopes that the world will improve.     

the awakening. kate chopin.

i decided to reread kate chopin's the awakening for banned book week.  i came across it while sharing a link to the american library association list of banned/challenged classics.  i have a huge tbr pile right now and decided the awakening would be a fast read, so i decided to squeeze it for banned books week.

i read the awakening in college.  i think it was for a women's studies course.  however, i didn't remember much from it other than the protagonist drowned herself in the sea over a lover.

i hate to say this considering the awakening is an example of early feminist writing, but i did not enjoy the story.  the issue i had with edna, was the same issues that i had with anna karenina.  i just can not sympathize with women that abandon their duties as a mother.  i also can not tolerate women who abandon their duties as wife via infidelity.  in the awakening, edna abandoned her husband and children because she fell in love with another man, robert.  also, robert unleashed all of her inner desires which resulted in her having another affair with a different gentleman.  if edna was single, i would be in full support of her multiple lovers but the fact that she was a mother and a wife caused my dislike of her.

i am normally in support of women not being restricted by gender roles, however, when you decide to become a mother or a wife, there are basic duties that you agree to by assuming these roles.  so for the most part you must meet the most basic duties, care for your children and care for your husband.  there is flexibility within these roles ie women should not be restrict to the realm of the home, but if you can't handle that you shouldn't have assumed the role in the first place.  and i know that i am writing this as a 20th/21st century woman, and it is easy for me to critique because i have the freedom to choose when i want to be a mother or a wife, but i can not sympathize with women who abandon their families, past or present.   it is selfish versus feminist.  

before i go on, so i don't sound completely ignorant, i do realize that at the time chopin was writing, women had only one option in life, marriage.  most women married for financial stability versus actual love and most women did not have a choice when it came to marriage, so many women found themselves in the same situation as edna.  so for that reason i do admire this work for addressing an experience that women encountered but could not discuss.  and to be perfectly honest, if i was in her situation in that time and place, i am not sure what i would have done.  but suicide seems extreme, i mean both edna and anna karenina decided to kill themselves then lead a life without love, which sounds brave but is actually cowardly, especially considering that they had children.  i seen no romance in leaving your children motherless.  i guess chopin wanted to demonstrate how women in these situations have no real options, and rather then life a lie, some women wished for death.

it all seems bleak but it is tough being a women, especially due to the expectations that society places on us.  and i guess i should be sympathetic toward edna because she wasn't the mothering type yet became a mother out of society's expectations.  and i can not hate her for that, some people just don't have a mothering instinct.  okay, maybe i was a little two harsh on edna earlier, but in my defense, it's difficult to seperate my modern mind from the historical context, especially considering how women issues are pretty much the same throughout all of history.

for me, personally, it comes down to the fact that i believe women should not be restricted by their gender, we should do what feels natural to us.  yet, at the same time, i am old-fashioned and conservative when it comes to marriage and motherhood.  to me, marriage vows should be upheld, one should keep the promises that they have made.  and i know that people fall out of love, and sometimes the person your married changes, or you change, life happens.  i am fine with divorce, but i think once you start to feel uncertain about your marriage, you should discuss it with your partner versus cheat.  i know edna didn't really have this option but i hope a modern day work like this would have the protagonist going that route.

and though i do not agree with the infidelity, i must praise chopin for writing about female sexuality.  though i wish edna's awakening came before marriage rather than after but it could have never really been the other way.  the sad truth is that women are expected to be the virgin bride, especially back then.  it is also unfortunate that edna's husband did not awaken her.  but this work is important for women to read (then and now), so that they can see that it is fine to be a sexual person, that you are not abnormal for desiring sex. 

i was raised mormon and though i planned on saving myself for marriage as the church instructed, i must admit that i saw nothing wrong with masturbating though i should have according to the church.  i have no idea where i got the notion that masturbation was okay, maybe it was from the novels (the perks of being a wallflower mentioned masturbation) and the teen magazines i read.  one of my friends and i openly discussed masturbation and i remember encouraging other friends to explore, not by in a "let's have a circle jerk" way,  but in a "hey, don't be ashamed to explore your body" way.  sorry, i just got really honest.  but i guess i am demonstrating how i could have been edna in this modern day.  i am not saying that the standards of the church are wrong, teens should not have sex lives, but their sexuality shouldn't be denied.  i mean i didn't grow up to be this sex-crazed slut because i masturbated in high school.  and even if i did, oh well, it is my body.

wow.  this post kind of went all over the place, but there is a lot of layers to the awakening.  it simply as a story was not for me, i did not sympathize with edna.  however, the issues of motherhood, gender roles, and sexuality that arose from it were important for me to contemplate.  i think the later reason is why this book was banned.  it awoken in people the idea that not all women fit into the mold deemed appropriate by society.  for this, and it's feminist significance, the awakening is a must read for every woman . . . and every man too!  

like no other. una lamarche. (225)

unfortunately, once again, i don't remember the website that recommended una lamarche's like no other but the premise, an hasidic girl falling in love with a west indian boy after a chance meeting sounded interesting.  just like i am racist reader in the sense that i like indian authors, i do the same thing with jewish characters, which is one of the reasons i decided to check out this ya novel.  i was intrigued, because i had no idea how the orthodox girl was going to make this relationship work!

the novel switches back and forth between narratives from the star-crossed lovers, devorah, a 16-year-old, goody two-shoes, hasidic girl and jax, a nerdy yet responsible, west indian boy.  they met one night when trapped in an elevator at a hospital.  devorah was at the hospital to help her older sister, rose, who was in labor.  jax was there because his friend was injured skateboarding.  however, the trouble with their relationship started right off the bat, with their chance meeting.  being trapped in an elevator with jax was a violation of devorah's religion, it was a violation of yichud.  females are not allowed to be alone with another male.  the law also restricts talking to males, so devorah tried to not talk to jax but being trapped in an elevator she decided to, to not be rude.  they actually had a great talk, devorah explained her religion and they even flirted a bit.  their meeting ended with them listening to the shirelles on jax's phone.  this was also a violation because devorah's parents did not allow her to have a phone, watch tv, or listen to music.  when the power came back on they went their separate ways not thinking anything more would happen between them.

however, they both can not stop thinking about each other.  devorah was actually the one that saw to their meeting again.  she stopped by jax's work while running an errand for her father.  this meeting was the beginning of their sneaking around to see each other.  devorah had to keep it a complete secret due to her religion.  jax lied because in order to see her he had to miss work, thus lying to his boss and mom about where he was.  it was difficult at first because they did not have any means of communication because of devorah's family's no technology rule.  however, she snuck onto facebook to message him and jax later gave her phone.  it was difficult but they managed as best they can. 

in the end, they are caught while trying to runaway for the weekend.  devorah's brother-in-law, jacob, who in my opinion was an asshole though i have to recognize that he was just following his religion so i can't hate him too much.  and this is no disrespect to hasidic judasim but his behavior seemed outrageous because i am an outsider.  i can't imagine my husband not being allowed to touch me after childbirth because my body has bleed, i get it for periods but not for childbirth.  and his racism though inexcusable was due to his culture.  however, his beating up jax and then lying about it was extremely uncalled for and i was shocked that jax's mother did not go after them.  

due to their discovery, devorah's family sent her away.  she believed that it was to rehabilitate her and make her more faithful but in fact, they had sent her to be matched for marriage.  jax then went off to try to save her.  in the end, devorah realized that though she loved jax, they could never be together due to her religions.  she could not give up her faith for him.  

i admired this ending, because it felt real.  as much as i wanted everything to work out for devorah and jax, it was impossible.  and though devorah cared for jax, she didn't want to sacrifice her religion and family for him and that is understandable.  she had to do what was best for her and she made the right decision.  i also admired how devorah and jax were very mature about their break up and left the relationship as better people.  i think that is an important lesson for young adults to learn.  not all relationships work out, but instead of being bitter and upset, one should recognize how that person helped you become a better version of you. (and if that relationship was toxic then how you are a better person for leaving it.)  

from devorah, jax gained the self-confidence to be honest about his feelings and also learned how to be a good boyfriend.  from jax, devorah learned that she was capable of more than what her religion alloted for her.  she could be more than a wife and a mother.  she could go to school and she could learn.  her education could be a goal for her instead of marriage.  i admired devorah for asking her family to allow her to continue to her studies.  and i think this ending was better than one that would have been about true love.  it's refreshing to see that the girl did not need the guy for a better life.  

like no other contains wonderful lessons not only demonstrating how we should be tolerant of other cultures and religions but that also girls do not need to be restricted by cultural and religious gender roles.  i hope that young adults pick up this novel, it's a wonderful story that will help them become more thoughtful adults. 

foxfire: confessions of a girl gang. joyce carol oates. (186)

i picked up foxfire after i discovered that joyce carol oates was giving a talk at the new york public library during my trip.  i decided to read it in preparation for her talk.  i chose this one out of her catalog because it was also listed on flavorpill's list of books to fill the girls void in your life.  they wrote:

This novel — the tale of a riotous 50′s girl gang in Upstate New York led by “Legs” Sadovsky – won’t exactly approximate the world of Girls, but if we know anything about Hannah, it probably reflects some corner of her secret fantasies (we know it reflects a few of ours). Not to mention the book’s portrayals of young female friendships and bonding — they may be outlaws, they may get in trouble, but these girls love each other.

as seen in the above description foxfire is about a girl gang set in the 50's and i have to admit that due to the time period i difficulty visualizing the setting for the book.  my mind kept on visualizing the time period as the 70's.  i think of the 50's as such a wholesome era even though it probably wasn't, certainly not in this book.  i then started to visualize the setting of girl, interrupted once legs went into red bank correctional facility for girls.  i then also started to see angelina jolie as lisa from girl, interrupted as legs.  you have to agree with me that jolie would have been perfect as her for if there was a movie adaption of foxfire. (omg!!!! i just googled and discovered on the foxfire wikipedia page that a movie was made in 1996 and guess who played legs?!?!?!? angelina jolie!!!!!!!  lol, i swear to god i had no idea that this movie existed when i read this book and made the above comment!)  (also i just looked and the trailer for the jolie film set place in the 90s, but there was another film that i just saw the trailer for that was made in 2012 that looks like a better adaption of the book.)

back to the novel, so living in a gang-infested community, resulted in my disapproval of foxfire.  i understand how gangs are created by individuals from broken homes in attempt to have a family.  gangs are where they find the love they lack, but the violence and crime that are a result of gangs is inexcusable.  

i was quite frightened of foxfire toward the end.  the petty crimes that foxfire started off with, painting that pervert teacher's car and protesting the animal store were invigorating to read about especially since they were girls with limited rights and voices, yet here they were standing up against injustice.  oates created such great imagery for their antics.  i imaged the girls in cat and dog masks ala breakfast at tiffany's protesting outside of the pet store.  i also enjoyed the scene at the train tracks with the painted car.  i have admit that based on these acts, teenage me would have wanted to join foxfire but everything beyond that was too extreme for me. 

i, like maddy, would have bailed.  the turning point for me was when they attacked maddy's uncle, yes he deserved it, but the wildness that occurred as they beat him was frightening.  up until then everything seemed like a fair punishment but their beating of him went too far.  i mean he did deserve it, trying to molest his niece, but i think the lost of self and mob mentality is what scared me. all the other crimes that followed pushed me into the adult category of the book, i started to view foxfire as hoodlums.

before i go on, i have to add that oates created some serious twist and turns in this book.  there were times that i was reading and was like omg!  i can't believe this is going on or what the f***!?!?!  the story was definitely entertaining and intriguing though i wasn't 100% on foxfire's side.

though i must admit that hoodlum an extreme term for legs.  she was definitely a diamond in the rough.  she was a good kid born into a poor situation, as demonstrated in father's story of her birth.  legs was truly unwanted, which given this background sheds light on her wanting to create the foxfire commune and care for her half-sister.  this side of legs makes it difficult to paint her as a harden criminal.  she was very generous as giving what money (regardless of where it came from) to others.  she was compassionate, not being racist towards blacks and befriending the ex-priest.  her heart was in the right place, but due to her lack of proper upbringing she went about things the wrong way.

for example, the hooking, though in a certain light a great means of exploiting men who exploit women, however, it was extremely dangerous.  the girls were lucky that majority of their hooking did not end up like maddie's.  as a female, it was great to see the girls turning the tables on the men that they hooked but being a watcher of "law and order: svu", i only thought of how those hooking attempts could have gone wrong.  even the idea of the foxfire homestead ,which can be seen as the girls finally creating the type of home they never had, is an example of legs' good intentions that were not execute according to plan.  (which is something we will see again and on a larger scale.) as a youth, its a great dream to live with your best friends, i mean college was a blast for me,  however, all i could think as i read that legs was going to turn into charles manson, which she kind of did.  my hippie tendencies causes me to think communes can be lovely places, however, logic tells me that it is one step away from helter skelter.

in the end, legs turned into a crazed cult leader, overwhelmed by a desire for money and to an extend power, she ended up making a stupid (for lack of a better adjective) plan.  in an attempt to get money, legs decided to kidnap and hold for ransom the rich father of her friend, a good christian girl that she met through a program at the correction facility.  they kidnap him and hold him for ransom but due to his faith in god (believe it or not) he does not succumb to fear and thus the girls do not get their money. in the end, a reckless error made by a young girl (in the end they are all just children) shot him, foiling their ransom plan.  due to this, legs becoming a fugitive, some believed she survived though she is claimed to be dead.

foxfire was a very entertaining read, but not necessarily my cup of tea.  maybe it's because i am just too much of a goodie too shoes because unlike flavorpill, i was more appalled than secretly wishing i could be apart of foxfire.  it was sad to see legs end up the way she did.  i did admire her free-spirit and grab life by the balls mentality, but in the end, she turned into a monster.  as a female, i was disappointed to see legs go out like that.  shouldn't we, girls, be allowed to be as reckless as the boys yet still have a place for us in society? though i must admit that legs ending had to be just as mysterious as she was, i mean, i can't imagine her in some 9 to 5 functioning like a proper societal women.  in my eyes, she was in that photo for cuba.  i mean that ending makes the most sense.  legs still inspiring hope for the girls of foxfire.

ps for those of you who are wondering, i did not see joyce carol oates when i was in nyc.  i decided to try to win lotto tickets for kinky boots instead, which i did win!

americanah. chimamanda ngozi adichie. (166)

i know its only 13 days into the new year but this might be my favorite read of 2014!

so i came across chimamanda ngozi adichie's americanah on flavorwire's list of best books of 2013

i am not a fan of beyoncé but decided to check it out.  i mean it is interesting that an author was sampled even if the artist sampling was beyoncé.  plus i like to be informed on pop culture matters though i may not always be a fan of who is making the news.   

i have to add i hadn't seen adichie's TED talk prior to reading the novel (i actually just watched it right now in the middle of writing this post.  it is amazing, and you should watch it too.  well after you finish reading my post, i will add a link at the end.)

so i can not stop singing the praises of this book!!!  since i have finished it, i have told at least 5 people to read americanah.  heck 40 pages into it, i was trying to convince people to

pick it up!   and its a pretty thick book, 477 but i fell easily into it and the story moves quickly.  

i enjoyed this book immensely because it worked on so many levels.  on the surface, it is a love story.  ifemelu and obinze fell in love as teens at school.  ifemelu moved to america for school, had a dramatizing incident and stopped all contact with obinze.  meanwhile, obinze moved to england to start his own life.  in the end, they both end up back in lagos, but you have to read to find out what happens.

but on another level is a discussion on race in america.  and flavorpill was on pointe when it explained how race and politics are addressed "without feeling too weighty."  race is addressed via ifemelu's blog called Raceteenth or Various Observations About American Blacks (Those Formerly Known as Negroes) by a Non-American Black.  in her blog ifemelu discussed things she encountered in life while exposing the existence of race and discrimination in america that believes it is colorblind and equal.  her posted discussed topics like natural hair, having a white partner, and classism being a cover for actual racism. the book also addressed obama and his run for presidency, ifemelu not only volunteers to help his campaign but also blogs about the obamas, michelle being a role model for dark-skinned black women and barack's mixed ethnicity. 

through her characters, adichie exposed the gray matter that dwells within all of us when it comes to race.  for example, i don't know how it happen, maybe it's because i am a mutt but i forget that i am not a white american.  there is a quiz that ifemelu posted on her blog that identified

me as a privilege white but i am not.  i recognize that my family is very americanized and maybe that is the cause for my lack of cultural identity.  my grandparents and parents grew up in the era which immigrants wanted to assimilated. they denied their heritage in an attempt to be accepted by american society.  this denial is exemplified by the fact that my mom, aunts and uncles speak only english.  and though i did grow up during the push for multiculturalism, i think it more of an learning of different cultures versus being empowered by your own.  though i can not pinpoint how exactly it has come to be but i do identify more with the white american experience than with that of filipinos or mexicans.

in addition to this, though i may be accepting of all races and cultures, i am still racism.  i do stereotypes individuals based on their race and make racist comments as jokes.  my racism may not be overt but it does exist.  

i don't have the answer to the race problem in america.  i am not sure if anyone does but it is important to at least talk about race.  and that is what i enjoyed most about americanah, adichie wrote a beautiful love story between two individuals while adding a discussion of races that was thought-provoking without being too preachy.

anyway, pick up this book!  seriously a great read!!!  oh and check out adichie's

TED talk too!

ps i have to add i did not like beyoncé's sampling of adichie's talk.  i mean it seemed like a cool concept but then i heard "flawless" and was like really b?  you took adichie's beautiful talk about being a feminist and empowering you girls and juxtaposition with lyrics that contradict what was being said.  the talk addresses the fact that women should not be in competition yet the following part is all about about her posting aroubd being flawless.  also the bow down bitches part seemed too aggressive?  i mean it seemed to reinforce this idea of the angry and aggressive feminist which the talk was trying to dispel as a myth.  i don't know it seemed like a misusing of the talk to me. 

adé: a love story. rebecca walker. (152)

i discovered "adé: a love story" via madonna's instagram:

and in the grand tradition of reading books endorsed on the instagrams of celebrities, i decided to check it out.  i mean it is madge, her recommendations have to be stellar.  or maybe not . . .

i love madonna but i didn't love this book. "adé: a love story" was beautifully written but being my usual the-grinch-that-stole-love self, i didn't believe in farida and adé's love.  their love felt too rushed.  walker tried to set up the idea of their love being desting by farida discussing the cosmic pull to adé before the reader meets him and adé saying it but i was buying it.

first, farida was too young.  she was 19 years old and just out of college.  she didn't have enough life experience to know what true love was.  and i know romeo and juliet were young but juliet wasn't a rich ivy leaguer and romeo from a third world country.  i hate to be classist but it just did not make sense.  as i read i couldn't not phantom how farida was fine with such drastic of a life change even if "love" was the reason.  she went from being in the lap of luxury in america to having to use a hole as a bathroom in africa.  and i am not saying that all americans are princess that can not survive third world conditions but farida came from money, she could afford to travel to africa (her father gave her a credit card, he also got her a seat on a plane out of a no-fly zone), she was privileged yet she quickly adjusted to adé's life.  it is one thing to manage because you are on vacation it is quite another to have it be your new life.  regardless of how open minded one is, there needs to be come inital culture shock and i know farida had difficulty adjusting but it still seemed a little too seamless of a transition.  

farida's conversion to islam and adopting of her new name, farida, was also done too quickly.  one thing was that farida was a feminist and i am not saying that there is no room for feminism in islam but  farida quickly became submissive in her relationship with adé.  i mean he renamed her.  i found nothing romantic about her renaming.  i saw it as a display of his power and dominance. i was disappointed that she gave in so quickly. feminism to me means not following gender roles and gender stereotypes and being an equal within relationships.  adé was the dominant partner, he defined how their relationship would work and she went along with it.  and though farida was not good at it, she quickly gave into the gender roles of adé's culture.  i understand that there was a reversal of gender roles in which adé ran the household but there was no reversal on with farida because she did not contributing outside of the home either.  she went from being an individual attempting to broaden her horizons by seeing the world to submissive housewife.

furthermore, i found it unbelievable how prudish (for lack of a better word) she was in the initial stages of relationship with adé.  i mean the beginning of the book is dripping with sex (so much that i almost considered not reading it.) the story opened with her discussing miriam, her quasi-lesbian lover.  then, there was the threesome.  fast forward to meeting adé and she is okay with their g-rated dates around his village?  really? she went from initiating sex with people still in the room at a party to secret handholding. i didn't buy it.

i understand that love makes you do crazy things and also changes people but it should not force you to be a completely different person.  i didn't believe in adé and farida's love because i felt like farida gave up too much of herself for their love.  and maybe it's just me, maybe i am too stubborn but i could have never done all she did for adé yet alone love.  and i get that farida was in a time of a self discovery but she wasn't really redefining herself but allowing adé too.

i believe her farida was a lost person looking for a home and she did all she could to try to find it in africa.  she justify her completely abandonment of her identity and culture by calling it love.  she realized the error of her ways and explained "i had done what i swore i would not do:  i had romanticized africa.  i had accepted adé's life before i realized what it might mean for my own."  so there was no love.  

in the end, farida's love is of a gratitude for adé's devotion yet it was not capital t true love.  in that sense, the subtitle of a love story is not a misnomer because there are so many definitions of love.  furthermore, i guess this is not a story of true love but rather more a of true story of love.  it's story of delusional love in which we see what want versus what is there.

impunity jane. rumer godden. (106)

"impunity jane" is another book i discovered via flavorpill's celebrities factories article for international children's book day. "impunity jane" was the favorite of kathy bates (and yes they used a "misery" pic for bates). in the post