Showing posts with label on the road. Show all posts
Showing posts with label on the road. Show all posts

Thursday, March 27, 2014

lupita mañana. patricia beatty. (183)


after reading esperanza rising, i was inspired to read lupita mañana, the story of a girl who also immigrated illegally to the united states and works in the fields.  i read it in jr. high and figured, it would be a nice reread. i do have to admit that prior to my rereading, i did not recall any details from the story.  the only memory i had was how "lupita mañana" became a slang word for my high school friends and i, a new term we used instead of "wetbacks".  i know its so horribly racist but you have to give us credit for being so clever and for our literary slang.  and in our defense, i am sure the girls we called "lupita mañana" probably called us horrible names behind our backs as well, it was high school.

oh and before i go on, there was some debate as to when our teachers assigned this book.  i thought i had read it in jr. high, but when i posted it as a #literarythrowback on my instagram, some people said it was high school.  i am going to claim jr. high because from what i can recall, it was jr. high because we had to explain who lupita mañana was to our friend mona, who did not go to jr. high with us.  also i can't imagine being assigned lupita mañana and great expectations, in the same year, which would have happened if i did read it in high school.

but back to the story.  lupita mañana opened the same as esperanza rising, with the death of a father.  however, unlike esperanza, lupita's family was poor.  despite the class difference, both girls had hearts of gold, throughout the novel i was impressed by lupita's devotion to providing for her family.  i could not imagine myself being that selfless (probably because i am not).  since luptia's family was poor, the mother decided to send lupita and her older brother, salvador, to indio (all of my treks out to coachella helped me visualize the setting for the book.  also i must add my grandfather also worked in the fields in indio as well) to live with her rich sister in america.  due to their poverty, the family was unprepared to send lupita and salvador to america, they could not afford a coyote or the forged paper to help them across.  they didn't even have a car to drive them to tijuana (where they would cross the border into united states) instead they walked from ensenada (which after googling, i discovered is 89.3 miles!!!).  they travelled with only a few pesos, eggs, tortillas and bottles of water . . . and they actually made it to america.  i didn't think it would happen because it seemed impossible, especially since they were so young and inexperienced but they both were clever and by the grace of god (lupita did pray alot) they made it across the border.  it was even more of a miracle that they actually found their aunt.  today was are so reliant upon gps that i could not imagine just being pointed in a direction and told to find someone., it would be like finding a needle in a haystack, impossible, partially because it is.  

reading this as an adult, i had a lot more anxiety about lupita and salvador's traveling than i did when i was in jr. high.  the violence that did occur was appalling, the men trying to rob them in mexico, and the gringos shooting at them on their way to indio, but i was constantly worried something worse was going to happen.  even though this book is a children's book, i was scared of lupita and salvador becoming victims of sexual violence.  there were so many situations in which that could have occurred.  lupita mañana was written in 1981, when tj was still "safe" (i have family in chula vista and we would go all the time to tj when i was a kid), but today there are so many stories of violence in that city since it is a border town.  i saw every man lupita and salvador encountered as a predator.  if this book was rewritten for today, i am sure that this would have been an issue.  though i know it was not occured, i was worried lupita would be attacked at the park when she waited for salvador.  even when they arrived in colton and the man befriended them, i was sure it was to have them as part of a sex slave ring i know it could never occur in a kid's book, but still i worried.  

i even got a weird vibe from lucky.  i got the impression he wanted to be salvador's novio.  my gaydar went off with him but again that could never happen in a kid's book.

this is really horrible but i also worried about lupita falling victim to her aunt's husband.  with his alcoholism and resentment towards lupita as another person in the home, i was scared of him abusing her.  i kept on waiting for him to come into the room when she was sleeping and being inappropriate.  i know it sounds weird for me to be that paranoid but i am sure sexual abuse is an untold experience of immigration especially, illegal immigration to america.

back to the story.  i could not believe how salvador abandoned his sister and family like he did.  beatty did foreshadow his immaturity, incompetence, and disoloyalty but i hoped his behavior in mexico was to be a foil to how he rose to the occasion in america.  this did not happen.  though i guess salvador's irresponsibility acted as a foil lupita's hard work and dedication to her family.  i was impressed how she even supplemented salvador's contribution to her mother.  it was horrible how salvador wasted his money on his novia and clothes instead of helping out his family.  i know this may sound harsh but i was happy that salvador got caught by la migra and deported.  instant karma for his poor behavior.  (i must add this book also added la migra to my vocabulary.)  i also enjoyed lupita telling off lucky! 

i loved the ending, lupita understanding the importance of learning english despite the others telling her it was unnecessary.  it melted my heart that irela decided to teach her.  it was a very sweet ending to the book and demonstrated how lupita mañana's optimism helped her survive in america.  on the topic of optimism, i find it interesting how both girls esperanza and lupita mañana both had hopeful names.  esperanza meaning hope and mañana was lupita's nickname because she always believed that tomorrow, mañana, things would be better.  mañana also reminded me of the quote from on the road, 

sure baby, mañana.  it was always mañana.  for the next few weeks that was all i heard--mañana a lovely word and one that probably means heaven.

before i go on, i have to add that learning english is very important for immigrants to the united states.  i don't understand why americans are viewed as racist for expecting immigrants to learn our language.  if i immigrated to paris, i would need to learn french, or japanese, if i moved to tokyo.  learning the language of my new home is not an intrusion upon my ethnic identity but a necessity so that i can function in my new country.  people should learn the language so that they may have the best quality of life, which is why i admired lupita for her desire to learn.  living in delano, i deal with people that make no attempt to learn english and then hold me in contempt for not understanding spanish.  last time i checked, i lived in america was english was the primary language.  majority of these times, these people that expect me to speak in spanish for them, speak english and/or at least understand it.  i understand that english is a difficult language to learn, i have worked with early readers, teaching them phonetic sounds and rules and grammar rules are confusing for so many, but there is not a single good excuse for not learning the language of the country you live in.  how do you speak to 911 when you have an emergency if you don't know the language?  how do you help your child's education if you don't understand the language they are being taught in?  working in the school system, i think this should be the number one reason that an immigrant learns a language.  before i go on, i have to clarify that i am am not advocating english as the only language.  i think children should learn english while maintaining their parents' language.  i hate how my family lost my grandfather's language and my grandma lost her parents' language.  however, i do think that if you are in america, you need to speak english, and i think we need to stop catering to the needs of those who can't.  it is one thing to help them with learning the language, its a completely different thing to have a society in which knowing the english language is not a requirement.  

like esperanza rising, this book is loosely based on real people.  beatty heard the story of the real lupita and salvador from their older brother, victorio and then wrote this story as to what could have happened to them.  in the author's note at the end, does explain the immigration situation to make it digestable for kids.  again i am torn on the issues that beatty addressed.  on the one hand, being the grandchild of an illegal immigrant, i see illegal immigration as a means for a better life.  i mean i would not be here today if my grandfather did not come to america.  however, i see in delano, how illegal immigrants abuse the welfare programs that are put into place to help citizens.  i hear stories of illegals using fake social security cards to collect welfare or to collect welfare using multiple names, or qualifying for food stamps for their kids.   in the novel, we see lupita's aunt worried about losing her welfare check and not being honest in her reporting so that she does not jeopardize her check.  my frustration with this abuse of welfare programs is that these people on these programs do not contribute to the pot from which they take.  most illegals are paid in cash since they are illegal which means their money does not get taxed like the rest of us, so they do not contribute to the programs that they benefit from.  it all may seem contradictory but my grandfather though illegal never went on welfare, he slaved away in the fields to provide for his family.    i know that this might sound contradictory, but i am okay with illegal immigrants who come and do the menial work that most americans would not do, but i do have issue with illegal immigrants who come to america and abuse the welfare programs that we have.  i understand there would be no america without immigration but everyone should contribute to the country versus taking away from it.  i am sorry if this little rant offended anyone and if i come across as a racist or an insensitive bigot, but i also come from a community where i see immigrants draining our society instead of helping to lift it up.

back to the novel, i am glad i reread lupita mañana, it was an interesting contrast to the experience i had read about in esperanza rising.  hopefully schools will have students read both books to allow for two different perspectives of the immigrant experience.

Monday, August 13, 2012

howl and other poems. allen ginsberg. (61)



the library of congress recently released a list of 88 books that shaped america. and "howl" was one listed on it and thus i was inspired to check it out.

after reading "on the road", i decided i would have been a beat in a previous life. though i would have to be a male in that previous life cos there really wasn't a place for women among the beats, they were either sex objects or beards, plus i wouldn't want to miss out on all of the gay sex that happen between the beats. the nomadic-ness, the drugs, the rejection of post ww II conservatism and social standards, sounds glamourous but there was a dark and dirty side too but was worth the suffering.

before i start, i am not one for poetry so did not have too deep of thoughts about this so this post is not an analytical one. i loved the imagery and realized that i need to study the beats more. i will admit i did consult wikipedia for a thorough reading because i did not get any of the references. and if you read it, i suggest you do too. (ps if you want to read it, www.poets.org has it listed.)

part 1 is a look at chaos that is the beats generation, a praise of the "angelheaded hipsters" that lived as they wanted regardless of the consequences suffered. it was dirty and dangerous but also exhilarating.

the poem reads as what i what i could imagine (or would have loved) my twenties would have been if i did more drugs. it is filled with random incidents of jazzing, sexing, wandering, protesting, questioning, experimenting and living.

my favorite incident/story from the poem was:

"who were expelled from the academies for crazy & publishing obscene odes on the windows of the skull"

which wikipedia explained to me as:

"Part of the reason Ginsberg was suspended in his sophomore year from Columbia University was because he wrote obscenities in his dirty dorm window. He suspected the cleaning woman of being an anti-Semite because she never cleaned his window, and he expressed this feeling in explicit terms on his window, by writing "Fuck the Jews", and drawing a swastika. He also wrote a phrase on the window implying that the president of the university had no testicles."

i love that story because it captured the great spirit of ginsberg.

part 2, i can admit was over my head.

part 3 is about being institutionalized which sadly was the fate of many of the free-thinkers of the time. it's sad that your unconventionality or deviant sexual behavior could resulted in shock treatment. its also horrible to think how we treat and marginalized outsiders.

all in all, it did shape america and for someone not born of the generation also romanticized it. though i am unsure i have thick enough skin to be a beat.

other poems were also included with "howl". there was a great one about walt whitman being in a california supermarket. my favorite image was "wives in the avocados! babies in the tomatoes".

there was also one about greyhound. being a frequent rider of the greyhound this was a treat and a very accurate description of the greyhound. my favorite line was "an aluminum box of human blood for Stockton" because i have actually seen human blood be delivered via the greyhound. i was at the greyhound in bakersfield, when i saw a brown box labeled "human blood" be picked up by a houchin blood bank employee.

lastly i have to share my favorite quote which is from william carlos williams' introduction:

"hold back the edges of your gowns, ladies, we are going through hell."

Monday, November 28, 2011

on the road. jack kerouac. (7)



in college, as a pleasure read versus an academic one, i read john leland's "hip: a history", sadly i wasn't too familiar with majority of the social movements or time periods it discussed.  i remember reading about the beats but hadn't read "on the road", "howl" or "naked lunch" so the impact of their hipness didn't really reach me. since then "on the road" has kinda haunted me. whenever i went to a bookstore, the back of my mind told me to finally pick up "on the road" but i never did.

what forced me to finally pick it up was an ed rusha exhibit at the hammer museum. on display was ed rusha's book version of "on the road". (the plaque next to his piece also taught me that kerouac wrote it all on one scroll. i can't remember if that scroll was on display, hmm). i can sadly admit that there were a series of pieces that i loved in this exhibit that i thought were solely ed rusha but turned out to be "on the road" quotes when i finally read the book. (yeah i am quite the poser.)

after reading "on the road", i reached one conclusion about myself. i have always been labelled a "flower child" by my family and though i do have hippie tendencies, i think my nomadic life is more on par with the beats. there is a rawness and grittiness to their lifestyle that is more attractive to me than putting flowers in my hair in san francisco.

if i was a male during the 1950's, i would have been a beat. i would have hitchhiked across the country, got drunk, got high and slept with girls and boys. and at the risk of sounding sexist, i would have to be male, there really wasn't a place for females in this movement; unless you wanted to end up used or abuse (not like physically or sexually though this did happen but also as a source of income as seen in the book) or dead like williams s. burroughs' wife (as in real life). as a female, i am not offended, these men were jaded by the war. did anyone actually survive the weird tension in the us caused by the cold war? all the creative spirits we recognize now were all tormented by it but that led to their genius. as i explained recently to darlene, i have a greater tolerance for communists and socialists in that historical context because society was so static that you had to believe in the extremes to have any hope for change. so i don't hold anything against the beats. they did let their women drink, do drugs and have sex so in a way that is liberating. their women were equal in their access to life's vices.

"on the road" is on flavorpill's 30 before 30 and it will probably be on my list too. it would make my list due the great quotes in it. what i loved most about "on the road" was kerouac's poetic style. he had a chaotic and beautiful way of describing life (surprisingly at times, my life.)

my favorite quote of course was:

"the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everyone goes "awww!""

i also enjoyed:

"people change, they eat meals year after year and change with every meal."
(why i am a foodie)

"she threw down drinks when it seemed she was about to chuck up the last."
(how i drink)

"...and like the prophet who walked across the land to bring the dark word, and the only word i had was 'wow'!"
(how i feel at coachella)

one quote that stood out, was kerouac's nostradamus moment. he wrote:

"dean has a sweater wrapped around his ears to keep warm. he said we were a band of Arabs coming in to blow up new york."

random, right?!?! i googled to see if at then time of 9/11, anyone drew a parallel to this. they didn't. but i did find an article about a professor who noticed post-9/11 that his students normally wrote their class papers on that excerpt.

but what i loved more was his descriptions of the city i love the most, los angeles:

"LA. i love the way everyone says ‘LA’ on the Coast; it's their one and only golden town when all is said and done."

"on corners old women cut up the boiled heads of cows and wrapped morsels in tortillas and served them with hot sauce on newspaper napkins"

while in LA, sal eats at what i assumed was clifton's cafeteria downtown, so i emailed "ask chris" from los angeles magazine on the topic and he said possibly though there were multiple clifton's back than.

i love this book because of its carefree spirit. sal just went with the flow of life. and sometimes it worked for him and sometimes it didn't. sometimes he lived like a king and other times he had to scrape and scramble to get life together. the importance was the experience of life versus living by society standards.

i will admit that "on the road" made me romanticize a time period that was not as glamorous as it read on paper. it made me nostalgic for something that i never lived or could have ever live or even survive. i realized that today, i can not travel like sal paradise did, especially being a female. i can even admit that at the end i started to get a little bored and found the lifestyle tedious. being on the road would be exhausting however like the saying goes, it isn't the destination but the journey. and kerouac proves that to a t by making the destination obsolete. and i think this is why i would be a beat, it's about experiencing life instead of where you end up.

ps here is one of the pieces from the ed rusha's exhibit. it reminded me of delano, which is why i initially loved it.