then again, maybe i won't. judy blume. (289)

growing up, i loved judy blume.  my mom for some reason, maybe the cover with the boy with the binoculars made her suspicious, decided to read then again, maybe i won't.  when she was done, i was told i couldn't read it.  i assumed it had something to do with puberty or sex (though i had no idea what was truly involved with the later), but listened to my mom and never read it . . . until now!

then again, maybe i won't told the story of tony, a extremely sensitive little

boy, i mean he got stomach pains when he saw his friend do something morally wrong.  his dad striked it rich when he sold an electronic cartridge and tony and his family moved on up like the jeffersons.  however, tony learned the truth behind mo' money, mo' problems.

the person that makes it difficult was tony's mom.  by the way, reading all of these books, i wonder what kind of relationship blume and with her mother.  all of her mother's are overbearing and worry too much, especially about what others will think of them.  this was the case with tony's mom, she tried to hard to fit in and doesn't realize that just because you have money, it doesn't make your moral.  this was demonstrated by tony's neighbor, joel.  his mother, impressed by the joel's family, thinks joel is an angel, but that kid is a klepto and gets drunk!!  what a bad egg!

but what upset me the most was how her mom gave grandma the boot in the kitchen because of that maid! it broken my heart to see the mom have no backbone and for the grandma to lock herself in the room.  i wish that storyline had a happier ending but it never got resolved.

i have to add, i kept on waiting for the other shoe to drop.  tony's family was spending that dough but luckily it still continued to come in!

so what was my mom all stressed about me reading?  well, tony is going through puberty and so there is talk about masturbation and wet dreams.  however, i am pretty sure all of that would have gone over my head (see:  deenie).  tony is also a total perv and spies on joel's sister, lisa, while she undresses, which also never really got resolved either.  other than he realized he should stop doing it!

i have to add, there was a scene in which tony gets a hard-on while demonstrating a math problem at school and hides it with his book.  as i read that, it sounded familiar but it's kind of a common thing for boys to do.  i feel like the same thing may have happened to a friend in high school and he shared his story with me.

all in all, a good read for boys.  i told my mom maybe she should have my little brother read it.  she said she should read it to know what he is going through. lol

this one summer. jillian tamaki and mariko tamaki (229)

in my usual fashion now due to all of the book pages i follow on facebook, i do not remember where i first heard of this one summer. i do know that emma roberts instagramming it is what inspired me to put in my request.

in an ideal world, i would have enjoyed this book on a beach somewhere.  however, my sister bailed on the labor day plans so i read this at home on the couch.  though in all honesty, i am not a beach person and i would felt bad if i got sand on the cover.  (i would like to add that it would have made a good beach read cos i finished it in about hour.  which makes me worried, but i mean it is all dialogue and pictures.  i always feel like i read graphic novels too quickly but i guess that is their nature.)

before i go on, i want to add one last tidbit that this one summer is written by jillian and mariko tamaki, who are cousins! so sweet right!! thought that was cute little fact.

so first off the artwork is amazing in this graphic novel.  the pictures felt so realistic in the scene that often times i stopped because they felt like a photograph.  it's not that the drawing looked real but felt like a memory. 

this one summer is a coming-of-age story, rose learning that life isn't easy and nothing is as seems in one summer.  every year her family goes to awago beach.  it reminded me of my summers as a kid going to los osos with my uncle boon and his family.  though it wasn't the same because i was not exposed to any of the things that rose encounter.

rose's had a summer buddy, windy, that she hangs out with.  windy was younger than rose and hilarious.  she reminded me of jack black and even looked a little like him.  and just like jack black, windy was very entertaining but borderline annoying.  i did love her hip hop dancing and her adolescent obsession with growing boobs.  oh and windy also had the habit of saying kidding, which rose harps on her about, but i realized that i do the same thing.  

rose and windy's summer adventures include swimming of course and my favorite, one afternoon of playing mash!!!!  loved that.  i want to add that i kept on trying to place them in the 90's which is my childhood but justin bieber was listed for mash, which made this story like circa 2011.  oh well.  they also start watching scary movies like texas chainsaw massacre, jaws, and nightmare on elm street and scare the bejesus out of themselves.  

rose also developed a summer crush on the older boy that works the market where the girls rented videos.  windy dubbed him the dud.  the dud had some drama.  his girlfriend got pregnant and like an asshole, dud was in denial that it was.  rose, in love with him, believed that his girlfriend cheated on him and told windy that the girlfriend was a slut.  rose then goes on a rant about girls not being able to take care of themselves.  it was said to read rose being so naive but this is this one summer where she grows up.  windy, thankfully, had the good sense to call rose out on her sexism!  

in addition to dealing with hormones, rose was also dealing with her parents divorce.  her mother seemed to be suffering from depression and she and rose's father are constantly fighting.  rose, being young, does not understand why her mother was acting that way and sided with her father, treating her mother poorly.

in the end, after the dud's girlfriend was saved from drowning, by rose's mother.  it was discovered that her mother was depressed due to a miscarriage that had occurred in the lake.  after this discovery, i hoped that her mother would be honest with her family and hopefully things would get better.

the graphic novel ends with rose heading home, none of the story lines are truly resolved other than she and windy mend their friendship.  we don't know if dud and his girlfriend work things out or not.   however, that is how life is, sometimes things go unresolved and we take what lessons we can from it. we move on and it just becomes a memory or a story like "this one summer . . ."    

here is my favorite art and moments:

windy's boob talk.

the walk home when rose gets in trouble for using the word slut.  (note the slut steps.)

when the girls play mash.  i find it funny how we girls pass these games along.

their counting for mash!!!

windy's grandma was hilarious.  and they were virgin drinks!

after a fight with her mom, rose ran out this man told her she should go in due to the lighting.  she was rude to him.  this was his response but great advice for any girl.

peter pan. j.m. barrie. (124)

before i start, i have to say this is a horrible cover.  what was borders thinking?!?!?  i doubt this cover was cool back in 2003 when it was published.  i mean who were they targeting then?  tween nickelback or creed fans? i mean seriously?!? that hot topic tink shirt.  this cover was so horrible, i was embarrassed to check it out and looked for a better cover.  however, i checked out this one because it was the expanded version.

with the occurrence of my 30th birthday, i kept on alluding to my peter pan syndrome but having never read "peter pan", i decided that i should, to make my suffering legit.  so what the general public knows as "peter pan" (thanks to disney) is actually "peter and wendy".  i learned on wikipedia that the first appearance of peter pan was in barrie's work "the little white bird", the chapters devoted to peter were republished as "peter pan in kensington gardens".  from "the little white bird" came a play about "peter pan" and from that came "peter and wendy".  the extended version, i read had "peter and wendy", "peter pan in kensington gardens" and "the blot on peter pan". i couldn't find any information on the last one, so not sure where it came from.

random but before i go on, i have to say that thanks to the film "finding neverland", i saw the narrator as johnny depp playing j.m. barrie.  especially "the blot on peter pan" which read an autobiographical tale of barrie (i think it was).

i wish i had read "peter and wendy" as a child, well actually had it read to me.  the story is written as if the narrator is speaking directly to you.  he breaks the fourth wall and also the wall that prevents narrators from talking to characters.  my wish to have read it as a child is that as an adult i found the story quite sad.   there were clever little parts and the narrator made witty little epiphanies but even with all the tiny smiles it gave me, i was still sad.  if i was a child, i would have focused on all of the adventure and nonsense, a dog as a nanny, flying, the lost boys, the redskins and pirates, and of course i would have wanted to follow peter pan to neverland.  instead, i pitied him, how sad that he would be young and ignorant forever.

my only exposure to peter pan prior to this was the disney movie.  and i know that disney softens things up but i mean "peter and wendy" is pretty edgy for a children's story.  as child we are supposed to admire peter pan as this great adventurer but as an adult i thought he was, to borrow a direct quote from tink, a "silly ass"!  (yes tink really said that.  it was like her go-to expression).  but really peter pan was an ass, like the mean kid in school who is oddly popular.  even though i would classify peter as a jerk, the lost boys revered him.  peter was bossy, always forcing the lost boys to pretend according to his guidelines, and they just went along with what he said.  i found it quite unfair how often they would pretend to eat because he wanted to though often times they were actually hungry and needed a real meal.  i know this might make me sound like a horrible person (though i recognize he was a lowdown cheat) but i understood why captain hook hated peter because of cockiness.  i found the cockiness out of control.  peter made a handful of situations more difficult ie saving tiger lily because he let his ego get the best of him.  it was quite annoying to read.  i also could not forgive him for his absent-mindedness.  i get it, as someone who suffers from peter pan syndrome, i recognize that we are quite selfish and often only focus on ourselves but i am not as bad as peter. it was quite sad to read how he would forget about coming back for wendy for spring cleaning.  and i guess that is the point of peter pan (and also what i recognize is my flaw when it comes to relationships) peter is great for adventures but no one really wants to spend the rest of their life with him because his adventures make his life so reckless.  (seriously this just turned into a #thirtysomethingsinglegirlsproblem moment, don't worry i will save you from reading me working out my issues in this blog).

and just as i saw peter as an ass, i saw tink as a total mean girl.  she was so catty for being a fairy, i mean aren't they sweet by nature?  i remember tink being mean to wendy in the movie and perhaps i blocked out some of the things that were shown in the movie but she was horrible in the book.  for example, having the lost boys shoot her down like a bird (i think that happen in the movie), luckily that acorn saved wendy's life.  and i know that tink wasn't all that bad because she did save peter's life but she was more mischievous then she was helpful.

quicknote:  but when i saw gaga in concert, she did this whole tinkerbell thing where we had to cheer for her so she wouldn't die.  i didn't get it until i read about tinkerbell's death. i also enjoyed the audience interaction.  when i read "peter and wendy" to my future kids, i am going make them clap to save tink.

but even though i found the characters more negative than i anticipated, i felt bad for peter more than i hated him.  it made me sad to imagine the world moving on and peter staying the same.  and what makes it worse, is the fact that peter is complete ignorant that the world is progressing.  he takes wendy's daughter and granddaughter back to neverland for spring cleaning, three generations of women grow up and peter does not take any real notice of the change, just accepts the child.  it broke my heart how peter did not experience the joys and pain of growing up, he would never truly live.

but let me clarify, this was a sad read because i am now an adult.  if i read it as a child, i would have absolutely loved it.  and like i said before there were so many cute and clever parts.  for example, i loved the part when wendy tells peter that a thimble is a kiss and a kiss is a thimble.  adorable.

i also enjoyed "peter pan in the kensington gardens."  i loved how it was narrated, again like listening to a storyteller versus reading a book.  i loved finding out peter's back story.  it was quite tragic.  as a baby, peter decided to return to kensington gardens and lived with the birds and faires.  he had such a grand time that he stayed and sadly it was too long.  when peter, finally decided to return to his mother, she had given up hope and barred the window and had another son.  poor peter.  given this context you can forgive him up for his issues.

in "kensington gardens", you also get all the insider scoop.  the narrator give us a tour of the garden's highlights along with funny little anecdotes.  and the best story of the garden is that of maime, wendy's predessor, the original thimble kisser.  sorry wendy, but i loved maimie, she was more adventurous and more of wild and crazy side.  when her older brother chickened out she decided to hide and sleep in the gardens!  as a result, maime befriends the fairies and then becomes friends with peter.  she stays for a while but decided to go back home but she promised i visit peter and even gave him a goat! so peter could ride around and plan is flute.  just like his namesake, pan. 

i should add that pan was not the only allusion, for queen mab was the queen of the faires of kensington gardens.  

i really enjoyed "peter pan in the kensington gardens" but "the plot on peter" not so much.  it was a poorly written bio. it lacked all of the piazza of the first two pan stories.  barrie tried to hard to be colorful and it resulted in a pathetic narrative.

but all in all.  it was great to finally read "peter pan".  if you haven't read it, you should.  as i read, i realized that i am no longer suffering from the peter pan syndrome because i pitied peter instead of admired him.  i do want to grow up and live and not just be ignorant of the world moving on around me.  i want to grow up!

ender's game. orson scott card. (101)

i have no idea how i was an adolescent who read and missed "ender's game" growing up. the cover looked familiar like i probably saw it at the library and book fairs however i still missed it. but thanks to flavorpill's 30 to read before 30, it finally came on my radar.

i was actually surprised by how much i enjoyed this book. the novel which is set in the future is the story of ender, a young boy who may be the world's savior. earth has engaged in previous wars with an alien species referred to as buggers and ender shows promise to be the commander that will stop the buggers from conquering earth.

at first, i was bit thrown off by the children in the book because they were evil. ender's older brother constantly threatened to kill ender (literally not figuratively) and ender's bullies at regular school wanted to cause physical harm to him (it became worse in battle school). but then i started to understand that though ender was 6, he was not a 6 year old of today but one of the future. and sadly these children do not have "normal" childhoods like we know today. the war against the buggers was so important that children are monitor via a monitor in their neck, to see if they show promise to be a commander. if they do they are shipped off to battle school to be trained. ender's sister valentine and his battle school friend dink, both tell ender about a time in the past where kids were allowed to play and went to school to learn instead of battling. they both look back at it as some golden past. ender leaves for battle school at age 6 and as i read i thought of the first graders that i sub for and majority do not show the maturity that ender demonstrated (but that could also be that he was the chosen one).

but this made me worry about now and the future. i don't see war being so important that childhoods are lost but i do see kids being exposed to adult things at too early of an age. i will probably shelter my kids and be this crazed tiger mom but i want my future kids to be kids. i am always shocked by children's use of profanity and knowledge of it. i once overheard 2nd graders singing the will.i.am and britney song and saying how they couldn't say the "b-word". it is good that a 7 year old knows bitch is a bad word but how is bitch even in their vocabulary. maybe my family is old fashion but no one cussed around me when i was a child. another thing that worries me is kids exposure to social media, if you are under the age of 14, you do not need a facebook page or instagram. go out and play outside, play with your dolls or action figures, read a book, interact with other kids in real life. you only get to be young once, enjoy it because being an adult means hard work, so be young while you can!

even though i felt bad that ender was never a carefree kid, the flip side is that this book reminds us of, like flavorpill stated, "the power of children". ender saved the world as a teen and he was able to do that because those around him took the time and effort to teach and train him. though the battle school tactics were sometime questionable, it did demonstrate how kids are intelligent and just need direction to become great. all kids are capable of success if they have the right support. the thing that people needs to realize is that the raising and teaching of kids is not the responsibly of the school but of the parents. it was an interesting transition for me to go from working in beverly hills where parents wanted their students to the brightest and best to coming back to delano where parents can't make sure that the students complete their homework. every child is capable of greatness they just need parents and teachers that are willing to help them achieve it.

yes, all of this from an young adult sci-fi novel. but back to the story. it truly is as flavorpill said one of the best science fictional novels of all time. once i was in, i couldn't put it down. ender is great protagonist and you want him to succeed but also worry about all the pressure that is put on him.

since the novel is sci-fi, i was impressed by the portrayal of the nets and politics in ender's world and how it is the same in our current world. ender's brother and sister used the nets to share their political thoughts with the world and become extremely famous though they are only kids (they have usernames to hide their identity). i thought it was interesting considering how today the internet and social media is utilized so anyone can share their political views. life imitating art!

i also appreciated that with all of the competition in battle school and war, in the end the lesson is one of tolerance ad learning about your enemy and discovering that no harm was meant initially.

but you should definitely read this if you never have and do it before the movie comes out!

one last analysis, the author orson scott card is mormon (found out in the introduction) and i couldn't help but draw parallels between ender's mission and LDS missions. the age students left for battle school was 8, which is the age the children are baptized in the church because they can distinguish between right and wrong. also kids in the church are trained throughout all of their sunday school lessons to become missionaries. and then they are set out into the world to save souls. it kinda works.

also last but not least there were a lot of mentions of farts in this book but i guess that is how kids talk!