bad feminist. roxane gay. (234)

i, first came across roxane gay's collection of essays, bad feminist, via flavorpill.  i didn't give it much thought but after she was all over my instagram feed (i follow a lot of bookish accounts), i decided i needed to check it out.  and i am glad i did!  this is a must read for every woman  . . . and man too.

i consider myself a feminist, i believe that women are not the weaker sex and should be treated the same as men.  women should not be restricted by the boundaries that society had deemed appropriate and acceptable for them.  i took a women studies course at ucla and did very well in it (i should have minored in women studies.) i have made it a point to read more women authors this year.  it's not a title, most people associated me with, but feminist is one that i would proud about if labeled it.  (and this is prior to bey making it cool to be a feminist.)

however, i do realize that like gay, i am a bad feminist.  and like gay, i embrace that title.  as gay shared,

i embrace the label of bad feminist because i am human.  i'm messy.  i'm not trying to be an example.  i am not trying to be perfect.  i am not trying to say i have all the answers.  i am not trying to say i'm right.  i am just trying--trying to support what i believe in, trying to do some good in the world, trying to make some noise with my writing while being myself:  a woman who loves pink and likes to get freaky and sometimes dances her ass off to music, she "knows" is terrible for women and who sometimes plays dumb with repairmen because it's easier to let them feel macho than it is to stand on the moral high ground.

this felt spot on.  i do believe in equality between sexes but love it when men open doors for me and if on a date, i do expect them to pay for dinner.  if i am carrying something heavy and with a male, i expected him to carry it for me.  it doesn't make me less of a feminist, just human.

the term bad feminist allows for these inconsistencies not only with us as humans but also feminism as a movement.   feminism, like all movements, covers a variety of concerns and issues, gay's point is that in order to be a feminist you don't need to be true to everything, but simply believe in the progression of women's rights.  she does point out that feminism is flawed with its lack of concern for women of color and homosexuals.  however, though it is flawed, gay is hopefully that her voice along with others will help create room for everyone within feminism.

before i go, i must add that as i read the intro, i felt bad about my judging of beyonce.  my dislike of beyonce came with an anthem that i should have loved, "run the world (girls)."  i felt like she was stealing other artists' thunder, the cool funky part of this song was actually major lazer and then she performed that billboard awards she totally copied another artist.  all this left a bad taste in my mouth.  then, the whole feminist thing seemed more like a marketing ploy than anything else.  i mean it was great that she sampled chimamanda nogzi adichie, because the world needed to hear that ted talk and read her novels.  i read americanah because of "flawless". however, i felt like adichie's words were being bastardized by the context beyonce put them in.  how does "my man made me feel so god damn fine, i'm flawless!" align with the discussion women not fighting for or finding worth in the attention from men.  and as my cousin kristel pointed out, doesn't "bow down bitches" go against adichie's words that women should not be in competition with one a other.  for these reasons, my dislike began to grow.  also the music video for "pretty hurts" was so self-righteous, yes i am sure beyonce struggled with her body and it not finding into the model mold, but lets get serious, she now has designers creating for her, so can she not preach about the world putting pressure on women to be pretty in her couture.  the fashion industry she shows off via her dazzling outfits is the beast that feeds these high standards of beauty.  however, gay made me realize that i was being a bad feminist for critiquing bey like this.  it is ignorant of me to expect her to be perfect, so bey, i am sorry.  also, i should be grateful that she has made it so that girls and women today are not afraid to be labelled a feminist.

just like i don't always agree with beyonce, it was the same with gay.  for the most part, i agreed with points she made however, i did reach some points where i lost interest in what she had to say.  but regardless of how i felt, i was engaged, i loved her writing style and her witty little quips made me feel like we could be friends.

the essays are divided into the following sections:  [me], [gender & sexuality], [race & entertainment], [politics, gender & race].

[me] as expected discussed gay, her work and her hobby, competitive scrabble.  yes, competitive scrabble, that essay was a hoot and gay is good!

the first essay in this section discussed her work as a professor and what she encountered as an advisor for a black students association.  she also explained how a co-workers remark about affirmative action drove her to work hard, ultimately gaining her ph.d but still worried she isn't good enough.  

the second essay, "peculiar beliefs" made the interesting point of everyone neglecting to recognize their privilege and only wanting to focus on their oppression.  though i am a person of color, a female and came from a single parent home and lived in a rural area, i was aware that i was privileged growing up.  this knowledge came via kids pointing out the material goods (aka nike shoes and guess jeans) that i had in elementary school.  we weren't rich but i was privileged for the area.  i also had a family that was very involved and cared about my education.  now i am not saying that i life the high life, but just demonstrating the fact that i never saw myself as disadvantaged.  as gay called out her readers at the end, "if you are reading this essay, you have some kind of privilege . . . if you cannot recognize your privilege, you have a lot of work to do; get started."

[gender & sexuality] cover just that.  the first essay, "how to be friends with a another woman" is a definite must read!  i wanted to copy it and share it with all of my friends, primarily to thank them for being just great friends!  just great sound advice.  i even instagramed my favorite:

the second essay "girls, girls, girls", as i was anticipating, discussed hbo's "girls" and i understand all of gay's critiques, but still think "girls" is the best,  gay's brings up the color issue which i have discussed before, but just add some food for thought because gay also discussed how women need a television show that shows women with their act together.  to which i say but that is not the point of "girls".  dunham created the show to demonstrate what life is like for twentysomethings now and i think she is spot on.  i am a thirtysomething but see my past messy self in the girls of "girls".  secondly, it's unfortunate because the lack of diversity on show is not due to dunham's racism but probably from the lack of diversity in her action life.  and i don't hate her for it, it's just a reality of life.  i have always had very diverse group of friends, but not everyone is like that.  people tend to stick to their own race, it's unfortunate but it happens.  also growing up, i never new any jewish people so a depiction of my life would exclude jewish people but it shouldn't make that work anti-semitic, it is simply a reflection of the reality that i knew.  gay recognized that it is unfair to expect "girls" to be everything to everyone and that we have put an unjust demand for it to be inclusive.  and that the real issue is that programming as a whole needs to change.  i have to add that gay mentioned "girlfriends" in his article, and how it showed women of color being responsible and having jobs.  i really need to start watching it, i hope netflix or hulu pick it up to show.

in "i was once miss america", gay plays tribute to the girls of "sweet valley high". i read part of that series but was not into like gay was into it.  and though reading the novel as a haitian girl, she was able to identify with the twins of sweet valley.  as she explained, "some experiences are universal.  a girl is a girl whether she lives in omaha or sweet valley."

in "garnish, glorious spectacles", i recognized how bad my television guilty pleasures, bravo's housewives and all of the celebreality vh1 shows, truly were, not due to it being bad television, but the horrible, female stereotypes it upheld.  gay loved these shows too, so i don't feel as bad.  but it is horrible how we watch these shows to feel better about herself and be thankful that we aren't such train wrecks.  and in the end, gay points out that perhaps we watch it because its actual a reflection of ourselves.  

in "the careless language of sexual violence", i was appalled to learn about how the new york times framed the gang-raping of an 11 year old girl as the victim's fault and sympathized with the rapist.  i'm not always up to date on current events, so this was not on my radar when it happened.  however, i did google and read the article and other posts about it.  i still can not believe that the nyt allowed for this story to be ran.  i will add that i am thankful to life in an each in which i can google a story and also see all of the critiques of it as well in a search.

another thing that i did not agree with gay, her love of the hunger games trilogy.  though her love for these works, kind of makes me want to actual finish all three books.  i read the hunger games on the advice of friends before the movies and all the hoopla around it.  i, for one, did not enjoy it.  there was a lot of living going on for something that was suppose to be a fight to the death.  i mean i get it, its a young adult novel, but i was still disappointed that it turned into some kind of weird love story.  so i saw the first movie, and actually enjoyed it more.  then just stopped caring about the hunger games.  however, now i feel like i should read it, because katniss is a good role model for girls, as gay pointed out.  so i feel like i should read them in the name of girls that rock!

i am so thankful that gay wrote "dear young ladies who love chris brown so much that they would let him beat them".  i, for one, do not understand how chris brown is still famous and how women still love him.  this article addresses my confusion.

"blurred lines, indeed" made me feel so bad.  i absolutely loved "blurred lines" when it came out.  it was my jam, i once had a dj play it for me twice in one night.  i loved the beat and it was catchy and the lyrics were funny.  however, i did not realize just how misogynistic it was, okay, maybe i did, but i still loved to dance to it.  i like the music but i i hate the message.  i know i can solve this problem by not listening to it, at the same time its just music.  though gay points out that this "lighten up" mentality does not alleviate these problems.  i guess i can just hope for a future in which misogynistic undertones in pop culture will go away because it has gone away in our culture.

gay discussed the 50 shades of gray trilogy, and all i can say, is how did women read that crap?  i mean i am glad that women were reading, but seriously there was nothing sexy about a controlling man.  controlling in the bedroom, if you are into bdsm life style yes.  but controlling as in buying the company you work for and wanting to know where you are all the time, is just frightening and women should not tolerate it just because the sex is good.  i have never read it, and now i never will.   i will add, this essay discussed how prince charming is just an illusion and that women need to understand that they can not change men and if a man is not treating you as he should be, you need to get out of that relationship.

on last note about this section, in it gay discussed in pieces, how she was a victim of sexual violence as a young girl.  at the risk of sounding insensitive or using the wrong words, just wanted to share that i appreciate her allowing the reader into such a private matter.  her writing on it felt therapeutic though i can't speak for her.  i will add that she did create an environment in which her readers that are victims of sexual violence can feel comfort in knowing that they are not alone. 

[race & entertainment], this collection of essays, is where i disagreed with gay the most.  primarily, because i see movies as entertainment and though it is insensitive of me, just felt like sometimes you have to take movies just as an escape then rather analyze everything.  and i know that movies influence how we frame the world and also reflect how we frame the world, but i felt she was being too critical in this section,

[politics, gender & race].  her article "when twitter does what journalism can't" gay demonstrated the power of twitter.  again i am bad with the current events, but so i learned about senator wendy davis' filibuster the next day.  however, gay learned of it via twitter thanks to one activist that live tweeted the filibuster.  gay also explained that the larger networks did not cover it, but there was a livefeed via youtube, where she was able to watch it.  it is shocking how much of our news gets shared via twitter and facebook.  i have mentioned before in post that i always get my celebrity death news via twitter.  oh and just wanted to add kudos to senator davis for being an amazing woman!!!

"the inalienable rights of women" is another must read for women.  it was one that got my blood boiling because of the little control, we women have over our bodies.  and i think what is even more frustrating that there is so much discussion about birth control, yet men can just walk down to the corner store and pick up condoms whenever they want.  where is the regulation of that?!?!?  it was so upsetting to read about some states requiring women to get ultrasounds before receiving an abortion.  virginia went so far as to require transvaginal ultrasounds.  i have discussed it before, i have never been in a position in which i needed to decide whether or not i wanted an abortion.  however, i can not imagine being in that position and not only having to struggle with my making the right decision for myself but then having the government add in their ignorant two cents.  at the end of the day, it is my body and i need to make the decision that is best for me.  women need to be allowed to chose for themselves without the government interfering.  furthermore, i do agree with gay that if the government does continue to limit women's right in regards to abortions, women will go underground to take care of the situation as they have throughout history.

these are just some highlights from the essays.  gay covered a variety of issues and gave me a lot of food for thought.  this was an excellent read not only for giving voice to issues that are often ignored but for simply encouraging the reader to question the world we live in.  this novel doesn't have all the answers or solve the problems we face as society, instead it adds dialogue to ongoing discussions of gender, race, sexuality, politics, in hopes that the world will improve.     

this one summer. jillian tamaki and mariko tamaki (229)

in my usual fashion now due to all of the book pages i follow on facebook, i do not remember where i first heard of this one summer. i do know that emma roberts instagramming it is what inspired me to put in my request.

in an ideal world, i would have enjoyed this book on a beach somewhere.  however, my sister bailed on the labor day plans so i read this at home on the couch.  though in all honesty, i am not a beach person and i would felt bad if i got sand on the cover.  (i would like to add that it would have made a good beach read cos i finished it in about hour.  which makes me worried, but i mean it is all dialogue and pictures.  i always feel like i read graphic novels too quickly but i guess that is their nature.)

before i go on, i want to add one last tidbit that this one summer is written by jillian and mariko tamaki, who are cousins! so sweet right!! thought that was cute little fact.

so first off the artwork is amazing in this graphic novel.  the pictures felt so realistic in the scene that often times i stopped because they felt like a photograph.  it's not that the drawing looked real but felt like a memory. 

this one summer is a coming-of-age story, rose learning that life isn't easy and nothing is as seems in one summer.  every year her family goes to awago beach.  it reminded me of my summers as a kid going to los osos with my uncle boon and his family.  though it wasn't the same because i was not exposed to any of the things that rose encounter.

rose's had a summer buddy, windy, that she hangs out with.  windy was younger than rose and hilarious.  she reminded me of jack black and even looked a little like him.  and just like jack black, windy was very entertaining but borderline annoying.  i did love her hip hop dancing and her adolescent obsession with growing boobs.  oh and windy also had the habit of saying kidding, which rose harps on her about, but i realized that i do the same thing.  

rose and windy's summer adventures include swimming of course and my favorite, one afternoon of playing mash!!!!  loved that.  i want to add that i kept on trying to place them in the 90's which is my childhood but justin bieber was listed for mash, which made this story like circa 2011.  oh well.  they also start watching scary movies like texas chainsaw massacre, jaws, and nightmare on elm street and scare the bejesus out of themselves.  

rose also developed a summer crush on the older boy that works the market where the girls rented videos.  windy dubbed him the dud.  the dud had some drama.  his girlfriend got pregnant and like an asshole, dud was in denial that it was.  rose, in love with him, believed that his girlfriend cheated on him and told windy that the girlfriend was a slut.  rose then goes on a rant about girls not being able to take care of themselves.  it was said to read rose being so naive but this is this one summer where she grows up.  windy, thankfully, had the good sense to call rose out on her sexism!  

in addition to dealing with hormones, rose was also dealing with her parents divorce.  her mother seemed to be suffering from depression and she and rose's father are constantly fighting.  rose, being young, does not understand why her mother was acting that way and sided with her father, treating her mother poorly.

in the end, after the dud's girlfriend was saved from drowning, by rose's mother.  it was discovered that her mother was depressed due to a miscarriage that had occurred in the lake.  after this discovery, i hoped that her mother would be honest with her family and hopefully things would get better.

the graphic novel ends with rose heading home, none of the story lines are truly resolved other than she and windy mend their friendship.  we don't know if dud and his girlfriend work things out or not.   however, that is how life is, sometimes things go unresolved and we take what lessons we can from it. we move on and it just becomes a memory or a story like "this one summer . . ."    

here is my favorite art and moments:

windy's boob talk.

the walk home when rose gets in trouble for using the word slut.  (note the slut steps.)

when the girls play mash.  i find it funny how we girls pass these games along.

their counting for mash!!!

windy's grandma was hilarious.  and they were virgin drinks!

after a fight with her mom, rose ran out this man told her she should go in due to the lighting.  she was rude to him.  this was his response but great advice for any girl.

of mice and men. john steinbeck.

i read "of mice and men" in high school but all i really remember was lenny and his rabbits.  and the dopey voice in which i read lenny's dialogue.

but when "grapes of wrath" jumped to the top of my "to-read" list because of the penguin book truck stopping in bakersfield for a retracing of the route from "the grapes of wrath", i decided to reread "of mice of men".  okay more like actually read, i may not have read all of it in high school.  also figured it would be a nice note to end banned books week on.

i was surprised that "of mice and men" was so well written.  since steinbeck's characters are okies, i always imagine him as one.  silly, i know especially since i just learned via wikipedia that he went to stanford.  also, i am not saying okies aren't educated or intelligent people, but a stereotypical okie is a hick and i always imaged steinbeck as coming from that culture.

one thing that struck me on this rereading, was the foreshadowing of lenny's fate by old candy's dog.  as soon as the reader meets lenny, one knows he is marked for doom, kind of like piggy from "lord of the flies."  you just know they are going to die in the end.  this doom then becomes cemented with story of old candy's dog.  old candy has a dog that according to the others is worthless and a nuisance, but old candy loves him and his companionship. however, the other men decide that the dog must go and another man goes out and shoots him.

the shooting of old candy's dog frames george shooting lenny in the end.  taken out of context, it sounds horrible, man shoots best friend, however, it was not that simple.  george had to be the one that shot lenny because he loved him the most.  it was a mercy kill and could only be one if performed by george.  if curly shot him, it would not have been the same, as demonstrated with old candy's dog  it was a bittersweet ending for lenny, but better he died at the hands of a friend than an enemy. it was a difficult act but was assuaged by george's telling of their dream farm, at least lenny passed on with peaceful thoughts and images in his mind.

i don't recall the moral that we learned from "of mice of men" while in high school.  as i mentioned before all i remember was lenny and his rabbits and his inability to pet things gently.

i watch and love a youtube called "thug notes" in which a thug breaks down beloved classics into thug terms.  (if you haven't seen or heard of it, go watch an episode) and they have a great analysis of the novel.  "of mice of men" is a demonstration of how there really is no "american dream" and though motivational, it ultimately sets individuals up for failure.   for as thug notes explained that in a culture of exploitation, in which individuals lose their basic rights, dreams are unachievable.  

furthermore, these dreams result in  abuse and discrimination among the lower classes due to disenfranchisement.  in a college course, i remember discussing this in terms of the dust bowl. disenfranchized farmers, who had lost their farms to the banks, as a means to exert their power, became racist and sexist towards blacks and women.  this is demonstrated with curley's wife.  though it appears at first that curley's wife is a bit of a floozy but after hearing her backstory it is demonstrated that she is part of this cycle of abuse.  (for you "how i met your mother" fans, kind of like the cycle of yelling).  curley, who had a napolean complex in addition to being powerless by the farming system, exerts his power and his abusive towards his wife.  curley's wife, who is jaded by dreams of being pictures and thinks she deserved better in life, takes the abusive from curley but then exerts her power over crooks.   crooks though intelligent and a hardworker suffers because during that time, blacks were the lowest rung in society.  it's sad because here is a group of people that should have worked together to better their life situation but instead abused each other in order to feel powerful.  (sorry i might sound like a communist but i didn't say ban together to overthrow the government but ban together to ensure their basic rights.)

i must add that i also agree with the judeochristian undetones "of mice and men" that thug notes discussed.  though i disagree with their analysis about it being a theme of man's reason (geroge) conquering (shooting) animal instinct (lenny). i saw the shooting more as an demonstration of innocence and selfless needing to be destroyed in order to succed in a capitalistic economy.  greed is the driving force of capitalism (see: monopoly), and lenny did not have this, so he would have never achieved his dream.  furthermore, lenny was the ideal worker, he worked hard and didn't question anything, just did his work, and yet he was still crushed by the world, demonstrating that the labor force though key to the economy will ultimately be destroyed.  (wow, okay, i might be a communists).

but politics aside, at its very core, "of mice and men" is beautiful tale of friendship.  though at times george was a bit harsh with lenny, in the end, he loved him and vice versa.  it was beautiful to see to which lengths a friend will go to protect their friend.  

this book really has so many layers and it is quite short, which is prove how great of a writer steinbeck is.  this book is also a banned book.  based on my googling, it was banned for his profanity, use of the n-word, lack of traditional values, and i am going to assume the whorehouses.  but lets be honest, it is probably due to is critique of the american dream and capitalism, and of course probably having communist undertones.