blankets. craig thompson. (253)

blankets has been on my to read list for a very long time.  however, when i saw it on time's 100 best young adult books, i decided to finally check it out.

i really wish that i had read this when it first came out in 2003.  i identified with craig and would have enjoyed reading this closer to when i went through a similar experience.  blanket is an semi-autobiographical graphic novel about thompson's experience growing up in a religious household and his first love.  what i identified with was craig's questioning of his faith and the church leaders insistence on following christian path.  my questioning of my religion, as i discussed before was due to the church views on homosexuality and how i thought it was unfair that families were separated unless they were sealed in the temple.  for craig it was contradiction in the bible and the realization that though the bible may be the word of god it had been filtered through men.  also reading his pastor advise him against going to art school due to the possibility of exposure to nude models and the risk of becoming a homosexual, reminded me of an conversation i had once with a girl i went to church with.  (i may have shared this before in another post, so i apologize for being redundant.  a girl i went to church camp asked me where i was going to school, and i told her ucla.  she then asked me what i was going to do.  i explained study history.  but she asked again, but you go to byu to get married, how are you going to get married.  i think i just smiled as a response.  though i will say that i am grateful for being raised mormon.  as child growing up, we did not fear god, but saw jesus as a loving savior, and were not made to be scared of hell as i saw with craig.

but college was an eye opening experience for me, like craig.  i wasn't born in a completely rural area like him, but being exposed to the big city of los angeles, allowed me to realize that there was more out in the world.

the story of his first love was sweet and like should happen with all first loves, he grew as a person.  he was able to see the world for as it was and not for what he was told it was.  i think the greatest thing was that he reconnected with his brother after seeing how close raina was with her siblings.  it was nice to see them become friends in the end.  (i should also note know it was really difficult to read about his brother's molestation as a child.  craig should have done something, but easier said then done because he was a child himself, but still sickening to read.)

i also found it disheartening to read about raina's adoptive siblings.  i think it was wonderful that her parents decided to adopt two children with disabilities, however, their reasoning behind it seemed unsound.  they adopted the ben and laura as a thank you to god for blessing them with two children.  a beautiful gesture, but neither one were equipped to take care of them.  and in the end, resulted in their divorce and the responsibility becoming that of raina.  i might sound insensitive, but you should adopt to truly help a child not to prove a point about how blessed you are. 

but a wonderful coming of age story and beautiful illustrations.  i also loved that the library was a tool in helping craig discover the world and who he was.  definitely a top young adult book!

  

palo alto. james franco. (127)

i read online that james franco was doing a fundraiser, kinda like kickstarter but not, to turn his collection of short stories, "palo alto" into a movie.  

before i go on, quick rant about celebrities doing kickstarters.  seriously?!?! doesn't the general public give you enough money by watching your movies and tv shows?  i mean don't you already get paid a ridiculous amount of money for acting yet you are begging common folk for money?  fund your own projects, you can afford it!

back to "palo alto", though i didn't agree with his fundraising, i was excited about reading his work.  i admire his acting and he seems to be pretty intelligent and cultured.  he did go to UCLA and he sat with marina abramovic during her piece "the artist is present" (he was featured in the doc).  so i had pretty high expectations for his writing, but his fundraiser should have been a red flag.

i mean it did seem odd that james franco would have to do a kickstarter with all of his hollywood success but this collection of stories was horrible.  so bad that its no wonder he couldn't find anyone in hollywood to back it, you would have to be an idiot to.  it was bad.  it was like a sad attempt to be "jesus' son" but whereas denis johnson has talent and a way with words, franco has nothing.

i mean i knew it was going to be horrible after reading the first line of the first story, "halloween":

ten years ago, my sophomore year in high school, i killed a woman on halloween.

i swear to god, i am not making this up.  that was the first line.  it reminded me of that "girls" episode when hannah goes to the reading for her old professor and she reads that poorly-written and forced story about her online boyfriend dying.  and her first line is about him dying and she doesn't get a reaction so she repeats the line about him dying assuming people didn't catch it the first time.  so embarrassing.  in my head, i imagined franco repeating "killed" for a reaction and for effect.  

so that line set the tone for the rest of the stories and after that i couldn't take anything seriously.  everything felt forced.  i know what franco was trying to write, he wanted to create some great beat manifesto for generation y but sadly didn't come close.  i mean franco did capture the pretentious ignorance of gen y hipsters.  it was shocking yet lacked any real depth or edge.  it was all self-righteous intensity, kinda like hipsters.  franco's characters were soulless druggies yet would namecheck kerouac, faulkner, and hemingway.  it was as if the mention of their names would result in literary greatness, instead franco just came off like a wannabe beat.

his characters were  bad people, i was disgusted by everything i had read in  the story.  they were bad just for the shock value versus finding a deeper truth.  it was full of lines that i am sure franco wanted his readers' minds to explode as they read but everything was overdone and cliché.

franco's stories were filled with bad stereotypes as well.  the second story is the tale of girl who is . . . good at math!  what girls can't be good at math?!?!  or the slutty asian girl who will love you long time.  there was also a lot of half breeds and even a mormon.  but a mormon who knows nothing about scriptures (mormons, even the bad ones can discuss scriptures).  and just way too many bat shitty crazy boys with too much time and drugs on their hands.

and i mean i get wayward youth, i enjoyed "a clockwork orange" and "trainspotting".  i revered sal paradise.  but there was nothing enjoyable or enlightening about the reckless youth of "palo alto".  it was so bad that i now have a better appreciation for "jesus' son".

but i will add i did enjoy one thing.  i genuinely enjoyed franco's mention of the children books author bill peet.  i actually checked out a handful of his books because they are alluded to in a story.  though i did not believe anyone would let a druggie do service hours at a library.  

but in the end, i am glad i read "palo alto" because now i won't waste my money to help fund a film version or pay for a movie ticket to see it.

my brother's book. maurice sendak. (117)

after seeing maurice sendak discuss his love for his older brother jack and his  desire to create a simple but definitive book in the documentary, "tell them anything you want", i couldn't help but be emotional when i read this book.  i was just happy that sendak was able to create a book to honor his brother.

i have never read shakespeare's "winter's tale" so did get any of the allusions, but luckily the forward explained it to me.

the book is the story of two brothers who are separated when a star collides with earth.  one brother, jack (the name of maurice's brother) is sent to a world of ice and is frozen.  the other brother guy tumbles into the middle of the earth where he is captured by a bear.  he tells the bear a riddle which can not be solved and is released.  he then finds his brother, jack who has become a tree.  they embrace and are together again.  

the story is short and sweet but the true story behind it is which is what makes it great.  i do not believe in an afterlife but i do believe in it for my family.  i think heaven is too complicated to truly exist. i mean what age will you be? who will you be with? what will you do? and what about all the gray areas in life, i know religious people who don't deserve to be in heaven and sinners who do not deserve hell.  life is too complex for heaven to exist.  the only reason i would want an afterlife to exist was if i could be my family.  

i was raised mormon and one of their central beliefs is that families should be sealed in the temple so they can be together in heaven. growing up i never questioned this but as an adult, i saw how illogical it was.  we do not chose the family we are born into and they are the ones that install in us morals and help us become who we are.  due to this, i could not understand why god would separate families when we die.  it seems cruel, god sticks us with people on earth, we love them unconditionally and purposely separates us when we die unless we are sealed in a mormon temple.  i could and can not believe in a god that is so demanding and unreasonably cruel.  my loss of faith in this mormon doctrine came when my grandfather passed away.  my grandfather was muslim and very stubborn so though a baptism for the dead was probably performed for him, i doubt he would agree to convert in the spiritual world.  as a result i could not believe in a doctrine that would not allow me to be with my grandfather based on faith and not love.  i would rather be with my grandfather in heaven than with god.  at the risk of sounding blasphemous, i know what my grandfather did for me in my life versus what god theoretically did for me.  i know no one should be before god, but if i had to choose between a family member and god, i would go with the family member.  i would not follow the example of abraham and would have never put issac on the alter.  

due to this, i appreciate how it is guy's love for his brother that reunites them.  love can overcome all and like captain and tennille sang "will keep us together".

also the artwork is lovely:

are you there god? it's me, margaret. judy blume.

thanks to a flavorpill post, i learned that june 17 is blumesday, a day to honor author judy blume.  it's a play on june 16 which is bloomsday, a day to celebrate author james joyce; his work "ulysses" is set on june 16, 1904.  

since i loved reading judy blume books as a preteen (we didn't have the term "tween" back than), i decided to read "are you there god? it's me, margaret" to celebrate blumesday.  (and the copy in the photo is my original copy that i read when i was a preteen!)

as hopefully you all know from your own reading, "are you there god? it's me, margaret" is about a girl in sixth grade, margaret, and her journey through the tougher parts of being a girl: shopping for a first bra, waiting to get a period because everyone else already has theirs, discovering how catty girlfriends can be, and realizing the cute guy in class is not necessarily the best guy.  though, margaret has one other issue which is where the title comes from, a lack of religious identity.  margaret's father is jewish and his mother is catholic since their parents did not approve of their marriage, they decided to raise margaret without a religion and let her chose when she is older.  regardless of the absence of religion growing up, margaret still turns to god to help cope with the stress of growing up.

i think i read this book when i was in sixth grade, which would be prefect because it was the same age as margaret.  i believe it was sixth because i didn't have my period yet (i started in 7th).  as a result, i had to asked my mom and aunt about the whole sanitary napkin belt that maraget discussed.  they told me about the belts they had to use but thankfully i didn't have to worry about all that because my sanitary napkins would come (and still do) with adhesive so they would stick to my undies.   i mean tampon commercials demonstrate all the things you can do thanks to tampons, imagine all the things you couldn't do thanks to that belt.

and i am glad i read this book pre-period because sixth grader me needed the life lessons blume gave in this book.  blume gives such a honest portrayal of growing up that this should be required preteen girl reading.  i must admit that i when i read this book as a preteen, i dwelled on the parts about making your boobs grow (my breast came in high school, i can admit that i did "i must, i must, i must, increase my bust" a handful of times) and periods but i got that the girls were being catty for no reason and that the hot boy was a jerk, but i didn't take those stories to heart like i should have.  but i mean i was still young, life would see to it that i learned those lessons.  and in retrospect, it's sad because as a preteen you learn these lessons, but people don't really change.  at thirty, i still see women being catty and in all my years of existence, i have only met one hot guy who was actually nice.  i take back my earlier statement about this being required preteen girl reading, it should be required female reading!

a big portion of the book that went over my head was the religious part.  i got why  margaret didn't have a religon but i didn't really get it.  for one thing, judaism was an abstract idea for me then, i didn't met a jewish person until i was in college. i knew catholics so knew how their church went but didn't really get all of the parts about margaret's temple experience.  i did understand the importance of marrying within one's religion, but have never felt the pressure to do so. my family members have married all religons and ethnicities so i never felt the need to marry a specific kind of person.  for example, my grandfather was chinese-arabian and a muslim (he was really strict about the pork eating) and my grandmother is mexian-filipino who was raised catholic but converted to mormonism.  our family is one big melting pot (which i love) so if i married a jew or a catholic, no one would have an issue.  as a result, i probably was able to understand what was going on in but didn't really identify with margaret.

as an adult, looking back i that blume presents important points about spirituality versus organized religions for preteens.  even though margaret does not have a religion, she still has a relationship with god.  this provides two importance lessons.  first that ones relationship with god can and should  be personal and defined by onself.  growing up mormon, i believed that there was only one correct way (as instructed by the church) to worship god but as i grew up i realized that what is important is one's faith in god versus the rituals of organized religion).  the second lesson is one of tolerance, every time margaret goes to experience a new religion she speaks to god as a being that watches over all things and not restricted to one religion.  margaret is right in addressing the same god each time because essentially the jewish, catholic and christian god are the same god.  this is an important point to make so kids will not be prejudices against others due to their religion because at the heart of it all, judeo-christian faiths believe in the same god.

i am glad that i reread "are you there god? it's me, margaret" because it reminded me of what a wonderful author judy blume is.  i will have to reread some of her other books i read as a kid.

spartacus.

as i was watching, i had planned on writing this cute little introduction about how surprised i am with myself for not seeing this sooner since it was referenced in my all time favorite movie "clueless". (chee and christian watched "spartacus" on their first date because christian had this thing for tony curtis. and yes, curtis was dreamt in this with those blue eyes! swoon).

i had also planned on writing how disappointed i was by how the film looked and felt very hollywood. and very un-kubrickesque. it looked more like "the ten commandments" and "ben-hur" than "a clockwork orange" and even "barry lyndon." as i was watching i was certain kubrick didn't direct it, it was so mainstream. (i just read on wikipedia that there was a previous director and kubrick did not have complete artistic control. so that explains that.)

[quick random sidenote but wikipedia also told me the movie was based on a novel, which upholds kubrick's movies being based on literary works.]

i was also going to complain about how
long it was! 3 hours and 15 minutes! actually i will still complain about that. seriously 3 hours and 15 minutes?!?!

anyway, all on judge-iness went on the window with the last 45 minutes and that ending. my god! that ending!

how beautiful and tragic the last 15 minutes were! the irony of the fight between spartacus and antoninus. they actually fought due to their love for each other; spartacus wanted to save antoninus from a slow and painful death, and antoninus did not want the romans to crucify spartacus! but at least they were able to declare their love and appreciate for each other.

and then the ending!!! i was so unprepared. spartacus still partially alive and hanging on the cross, while varinia introduced him to his son. so compelling yet so weird. i mean i still cannot get my head around it. it was beautiful but spartacus was literally hanging on a cross with his newborn at his feet. though maybe my issue with the scene is due to the sacredness of the cross due to my christian upbringing. (mormons do not recognize the cross as a symbol of christ which makes it ultra taboo which might be why i was uneasy with the last scene. uneasy is the wrong word, just surprised. it did pull at my heartstrings.)

since we are on the topic of shocking scenes, i was surprised by the showing of the curfixiaions along the road. but then i guess i got my wish of the film being more kubrickesque. also the battle scenes with limbs being chopped off and sword fights. also those fights scenes were good considering how low tech they were. like how did they do the fire scenes unless they just fired up people? also all of those extras?!?! how did they do that.

and of course, one of the most memorable scenes, "i'm a spartacus". i first hear that phrase in "that thing you do!" (the drummer). and kinda wished i didn't cos it kinda killed the scene. but again so compelling, all of the slaves. standing by spartacus' side. and in a way, they were all him. and of course just single tear down douglas' face, so powerful!

seriously though i was not enjoying "spartacus" at all, but that last hour just reinforced how amazing of a director kubrick truly was.

and one last thought, how lovely was jean simmons? very.

ender's game. orson scott card. (101)

i have no idea how i was an adolescent who read and missed "ender's game" growing up. the cover looked familiar like i probably saw it at the library and book fairs however i still missed it. but thanks to flavorpill's 30 to read before 30, it finally came on my radar.

i was actually surprised by how much i enjoyed this book. the novel which is set in the future is the story of ender, a young boy who may be the world's savior. earth has engaged in previous wars with an alien species referred to as buggers and ender shows promise to be the commander that will stop the buggers from conquering earth.

at first, i was bit thrown off by the children in the book because they were evil. ender's older brother constantly threatened to kill ender (literally not figuratively) and ender's bullies at regular school wanted to cause physical harm to him (it became worse in battle school). but then i started to understand that though ender was 6, he was not a 6 year old of today but one of the future. and sadly these children do not have "normal" childhoods like we know today. the war against the buggers was so important that children are monitor via a monitor in their neck, to see if they show promise to be a commander. if they do they are shipped off to battle school to be trained. ender's sister valentine and his battle school friend dink, both tell ender about a time in the past where kids were allowed to play and went to school to learn instead of battling. they both look back at it as some golden past. ender leaves for battle school at age 6 and as i read i thought of the first graders that i sub for and majority do not show the maturity that ender demonstrated (but that could also be that he was the chosen one).

but this made me worry about now and the future. i don't see war being so important that childhoods are lost but i do see kids being exposed to adult things at too early of an age. i will probably shelter my kids and be this crazed tiger mom but i want my future kids to be kids. i am always shocked by children's use of profanity and knowledge of it. i once overheard 2nd graders singing the will.i.am and britney song and saying how they couldn't say the "b-word". it is good that a 7 year old knows bitch is a bad word but how is bitch even in their vocabulary. maybe my family is old fashion but no one cussed around me when i was a child. another thing that worries me is kids exposure to social media, if you are under the age of 14, you do not need a facebook page or instagram. go out and play outside, play with your dolls or action figures, read a book, interact with other kids in real life. you only get to be young once, enjoy it because being an adult means hard work, so be young while you can!

even though i felt bad that ender was never a carefree kid, the flip side is that this book reminds us of, like flavorpill stated, "the power of children". ender saved the world as a teen and he was able to do that because those around him took the time and effort to teach and train him. though the battle school tactics were sometime questionable, it did demonstrate how kids are intelligent and just need direction to become great. all kids are capable of success if they have the right support. the thing that people needs to realize is that the raising and teaching of kids is not the responsibly of the school but of the parents. it was an interesting transition for me to go from working in beverly hills where parents wanted their students to the brightest and best to coming back to delano where parents can't make sure that the students complete their homework. every child is capable of greatness they just need parents and teachers that are willing to help them achieve it.

yes, all of this from an young adult sci-fi novel. but back to the story. it truly is as flavorpill said one of the best science fictional novels of all time. once i was in, i couldn't put it down. ender is great protagonist and you want him to succeed but also worry about all the pressure that is put on him.

since the novel is sci-fi, i was impressed by the portrayal of the nets and politics in ender's world and how it is the same in our current world. ender's brother and sister used the nets to share their political thoughts with the world and become extremely famous though they are only kids (they have usernames to hide their identity). i thought it was interesting considering how today the internet and social media is utilized so anyone can share their political views. life imitating art!

i also appreciated that with all of the competition in battle school and war, in the end the lesson is one of tolerance ad learning about your enemy and discovering that no harm was meant initially.

but you should definitely read this if you never have and do it before the movie comes out!

one last analysis, the author orson scott card is mormon (found out in the introduction) and i couldn't help but draw parallels between ender's mission and LDS missions. the age students left for battle school was 8, which is the age the children are baptized in the church because they can distinguish between right and wrong. also kids in the church are trained throughout all of their sunday school lessons to become missionaries. and then they are set out into the world to save souls. it kinda works.

also last but not least there were a lot of mentions of farts in this book but i guess that is how kids talk!

the perks of being a wallflower. stephen chobsky. (81)

"the perks of being a wallflower" has been on my to reread list ever since i saw the movie. i have been hunting for my copy from high school (well not too seriously, i think it's in storage) so that i could read it for nostalgic reasons. however, i recommended allison (one of my adventure day kids, i take a couple of kids from the dance studio to the library on tuesdays) check it out. and since she is in a middle of a book, i borrowed it so i could reread it. right now i am in the middle of "les miserables" but took a break to read this. it took me 6 hours to read.

like i gushed in the blog post about the movie, i absolutely love love love love love this book. for proof check out that post.

even though i read it a handful of times in high school, i forgot a lot of things. i forgot about charlie's friend michael's suicide, sam's molestation as a child, his sister's pregnancy, and charlie and sam's talk on her last night. furthermore, i realized that the movie really did do the book justice. paul rudd made an excellent bill, i seriously have a huge book crush on bill. i also plan on reading the books and watching the movies bill gave charlie.* (maybe i should look for a nice high school english teacher to date?) i have to add that my rereading was greatly askew by the movie because i saw all the characters as their actor counterparts. sadly i can not remember how i imagined them before. however, all of the actors did fit, so it was fine. overall, i realized that i may have been a little harsh on the movie version, it was not as horrible or disappointing as i said. it was true to the essence of the book. however, i have to reiterate my disappointment in the christmas poem not being recited in the film.

my rereading not only made me realize how harsh i was on the film but also why i didn't love it like i loved the book. the reason being that as a reader you really get to know charlie, as a viewer your relationship is superficial. charlie is a great character and the best way to get to know him is through his letters. the ramblings in his letters paint a better picture of who charlie is versus the tales of his high school years. yes the stories were great but the true beauty is his musing and thoughts on life.

here are some examples:

his thoughts on old photos and how people happier people look in them:

"i just hope i remember to tell my kids TJs they are as happy as i look my old photographs. and i hope that they believe me."

when he discovered his grandfather once beat his mom when she was a child and received bad grades:

"i don't know if that's good or bad. i don't know if it's better to have your kids be happy and not go to college. i don't know if it's better to be close with your daughter or make sure that has a better life than you do."

on mixed tapes:

"i has an amazing feeling when i finally held the tape in my hand. i just thought to myself that in the palm of my hand, there was this one tape that had all these memories and feelings and great joy and sadness. right in the palm of my hand. and i thought about how many people loved those songs. and how many people got through a lot of bad times because of those songs. and how many odious enjoyed good times with those songs. and how much songs really mean. i junk it would be great to have written one of these songs. i bet if i wrote one of them, i would be very proud. i hope the people who wrote those songs are happy. i hope that they feel it's enough. i really do because they've made me happy. and i'm
only one person."

i just realized that i will end up quoting the whole book so will stop. but the point is that what makes charlie so great is his selflessness, his ability to think beyond himself. i try sometimes to think about the lives of strangers, wondering what they have experienced and when i do, it humanizes them and then it easier to understand and then eventually love thy neighbor. charlie was just as described, a wallflower and an observer but what made him different was his empathy. as i read about charlie, i thought of another boy who felt too much, douglas from "dandelion wine". i didn't discuss it in that blog but at the end of "dandelion wine" douglas became ill because he takes on the suffering and feelings of others. it's kinda jesus-y but not in a cheesy way. but both saw the world in a ego-less way which resulted in novels with great life lessons.

the ramblings of charlie get one thinking about their life and that is what make this book so great. charlie's inner thoughts were lost in the movie. it's probably because these thoughts would have been too random in the movie but make sense in the book. like when charlie's mother told his brother to watch his language in front of charlie. his brother used the words "faggot" and "high" and charlie realized that he is the only one in the car that has a gay friend or has done drugs. he also realized that maybe everyone is in family has been high and they just don't say anything. and he's so right. i bet a lot of people who know have toked up but we just don't realize it. its random thoughts like this that make you love charlie.

as i was reading, i wondered what it was that made the younger me fall in love with this book. i know for one it was the music. i actually made a mixed cd version of the tape charlie gave patrick as his secret santa gift (i listened to it as i wrote this blog). and to this day i am hopeful that a boy will gift me a copy of the beatles' "something" because it reminds him of me. i also love the idea that certain moments soundtracked with the right song can makenone feel infinite.

so quick digression. in the movie, the infinte song was "heroes" by bowie. but in the book it's simply a song about a boy. i thought maybe pearl jam's "jeremy" but that song came out in '92 and that moment took place in '91. i tried googling songs about a boy in 91 and no luck. even looked through list of top songs of 91 and found nothing. curious about others theories on what song it is. though i did discover that the love song they heard while searching for music that had the word "baby" had to be amy grant's "baby, baby" that came out in 91.

the poem that charlie gave patrick for christmas had a profound effect on the high school verison of me. i thought it was really deep. i had the same reaction as the rest of the group at the christmas party. i was in awe of it. now as an adult, the poem is sad but less profound, i guess the difference is that i have lost my naiveté about the world. when i read it as a teen, i was starting to question my world as i knew it. i was realizing that not everything is black and white and that though i may have strong morals, it doesn't mean the world does. i always mentioned my religious upbringing but i remember the priest part because i was starting to realize maybe religion wasn't capital t-truth. and that maybe things done in the name of god where not always the right thing. the ending of the poem never seemed a solution to any problems i had as a teen, it wasn't profound because i had thoughts of sucide. though it did make me sad for kids that did. i lived in a bubble, i never suffered any kind of abuse, and lead a straight-edge life. so did not connect with the story because it was a shared experience.

reading the perks was a voyeuristic experience for me. i never did drugs or had sex in high school, i was such a good mormon. so "the perks" was how my high school years could have been if i released my inner party-er at a teen. i would have done everything except the lsd. and no coincidence that one of the first things i did in college was attend a midnight "rocky horror" showing. i loved reading about their performances. (i always say myself playing columbia versus dammit janet. i would get down in those tap shoes!). so maybe i was charliesque in that sense, i didn't "participate" in that crazy lifestyle but enjoyed reading about it.

"the perks of being a wallflower" will always be one of my favorite books. these characters have always felt like my friends and even as i grow older, i won't lose my connection. they are like high school friends, you may outgrow each other but you will always be friends because of the experiences you had together.

last random note: the lowercase-ness of the title is why i stopped using capital letters.

*charlie's reading and watching list:
to kill a mockingbird
this side of paradise
peter pan
the great gatsby
a separate piece
catcher in the rye
walden
on the road
naked lunch
the stranger
halmet
the fountainhead

the graduate
harold and maude
my life as a dog
dead poets' society
the unbelievable truth

breaking down part 2. movie version.

WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!! (you have been warned so save your bitching.)

(yes, hell did freeze over and i saw a twilight movie at a movie theater!)

i debated about blogging about this movie but figured:

a) it is based on a book and i did blog about "the perks of being a wallflower"
b) with the movie versions of "life of pi", "les miserables", "anna karenina" and "on the road" coming out, i should start the trend of blogging about movies based on books
c) it was a PDC dance moms book club event (though we didn't read the book)

i have never been interested in the "twilight" series, books or movies. my grandma said it was a bunch of teenage fluff and no offense but not interested in reading about a love triangle consisting of a girl, a vampire and a werewolf and their teen angst and sexual frustration. so never read the books. i did see part of the first movie, but had no desire to watch the movies. the movie franchise got too out of control for me to get on the bandwagon. i can admit that robert pattinson is hot, pasty and tall, swoon. i think taylor looks prepubescent so feel like a pervert when i look at him. yes, abs are hot but not on a 12 year old. and seriously kristen stewart???! ever since i saw her first vmas appearance, i can not stomach her. she is not an actress, girl is not acting. she is that weird and awkward in real life and luckily finds roles in which she has to be the weird and awkward girl. (for the record, yes i am sad that she is "on the road".)

however, i decided to break my no-twilight-rule when the PDC dance moms book club decided to see "breaking drawn part 2". i could be a team player plus i owed robert pattinson one for drunkenly harassing him at an adele concert, for this photo:

as much as it pains me to admit this, it wasn't that bad. it was actually entertaining. i enjoyed how they gathered up the different vampires from all over the world. i found it interesting how some of the vampires had special powers, even the evil ones. and that british vampire was dreamy and eye candy always makes everything better.

but here is my laundry list of what i did not enjoy:

-the "war" being a premonition. what a cop out! i got caught up in the battle, i was sad when carlisle died, and cheered when the bad guys died (btw, loved dakota fanning as a villain). and instead of rejoicing when it turned out that it didn't happen, i was disappointed. it was like meyer didn't have the balls to have a real battle. in harry potter, we (yes, we, i loved this series) lost so many amazing people in the battle against evil: sirius, remus, tonks, dumbledore, dobby!!! because guess what, life is unpredictable and unfair and sometimes we lose the ones we love so that good can prevails over evil. furthermore, the kid seemed to be okay with dying. they should have given her up. i mean harry potter sacrificed himself and that aspect is what made that story so powerful. i think the just-kidding-it-was-all-a-dream-ending prevented "breaking dawn" from being great. it lost its heart. instead it was a lame hollywood ending where everyone lives happily ever after.

-in regards to this happily ever after ending, everything cleaned up waaaaay too nicely. seriously jacob and their kid ending up together?!?!? that was gross and the story should not have gone there. in what universe would this be okay?!?! what about an ending showing jacob okay with being single the rest of his life and hooking up with chicks for all of eternity? wouldn't that be more realistic for a werewolf in a vampire movie? lol

-the sex scene 30 minutes into he movie?!?!? i could have lived without watching them christian their house. and the talk about, "wow you were holding back" and "how will we stop ourselves from going at it all the time". seriously, spoken like someone who has been sexually repressed their entire life. (see: meyer is mormon. this sounds harsh but i was raised mormon, i know). people having sex when they want and for as long as they want?!?! these concepts are neither ground-breaking or revolutionary, in real life or the vampire genre. i think twilight's original message of abstinence is important for teens but it does send the wrong message that once married, the lead character turns into a sex fiend. bella was first the virgin temptress and then the horny sex addict. women should not be restricted to only two sexualities the virgin or the whore. we can have healthy sexual appetities without feigning innocent or craziness. we should try to break the virgin/slut whore versus reinforce it!

-instead of abstinence, safe sex needed to be discussed. if half-breeds could potentially pose danger to the world, shouldn't they have been more careful in terms of birth control?!?! edward should have wrapped it up or bella should have been on the pill. just because you are married doesn't mean you are ready to have kids or that you should have them, so you should still take precautions. again another indication of their sexual immaturity.

-lastly, how did the writers let that loch ness monster line remain in the movie?!?!??

so those are my complaints and oddly enough i might read the series but that is just so i can have proof for my avoidance of this series instead of just my snobbiness.

the scarlet letter. nathaniel hawthrone (1)

i decided to start off my classics reading with this book for two reasons.  one being the movie “easy A” and the second being that one of the TAs at the dance studio read it for school and i realized i don’t remember anything from it and i "read" (or cliff noted) it in high school.  so before i discuss the book, i just wanted to give an endorsement for “easy A”, most people have seen it by now, but what a cute movie!  i'm a bit of a movie snob and had no plans to watch it but rented the dvd, and i was pleasantly surprised.  first of all, how cute is emma stone, totally had/have a girl crush on her.  also loved her family in the movie, i hope one day to be a cool parent.  and lastly loved the 80s movies references at the end, why can’t i get a boy to do that for me?  (answer; i’m not a funny yet sexy ginger.)

so the book.  here is all that i remember from my high school reading:

-“scarlet letter” was a slang word that we started to use to describe slutty girls (yeah i was a geek in high school).  there was one girl in particular that was “scarlet r” for reasons that i can’t remember now.

-pearl was referenced as the pearl of great price.  i remember this fact from my days as a mormon.  there is a book of scripture known as the pearl of great price.  i never really read my scriptures like i should have, but i think the pearl of great price offered life advice but in the form of actual advice not like analogies or parables.  i think the whole no caffeine thing is in that book.

here is what i got out of it as an adult:

first of all, i didn't understand why hester and dimmesdale didn't think up the whole plot to run away together earlier in the story.  america wasn't even america yet, it would have been easy for them to start a new life with new identities when they first discovered that she was with child. then "the scarlet letter" would have been their tale of embarking on a new world as parents, which sadly is the premise for "teen mom" . . . nevermind.  but the runaway scenario could never an option because then hawthorne's characters would be cowards and would not uphold the moral of this novel: take responsibility of your actions and suffer whatever consequences may result from them.  one needs to own up to what he/she has done, lie in the bed they made, handle their sh*t.  hester didn't try to deny her actions or escape her punishment. she didn't downplay her scarlet letter but "fantastically embroidered [it] with gold thread" nor did she try to hide her bastard child but pretty much put pearl on display by putting her in "fanciful" attire.  hester embraced her punishment, she didn't try to deny her sin and was a better person for it.  she lived as madonna sought at the end of "human nature" with "absolutely no regrets."  so i guess in this sense, i will have to add hester prynne to my amazing fictional women canon.  i don't know why i never gave her this label in high school, it could be because i didn't realize how much strength it takes to survive being ostracize by society and then having the man you are in love with deny the fact that he impregnated you and then having to raise your nymph-like bastard child on your own and on top of that your creepy husband coming back to haunt you.  i blame cliffnotes, they didn't give me all of this insight.

as an adult, "the scarlet letter" also gave me insight by contextualizing one critique i had of my mormon faith. i was raised mormon but as i learned in history 4, a history of religion course i took at UCLA, the problem i had/have with mormonism (LDS-ism) can be found in all judeo-christian religions, so i am not attacking the mormon faith just relaying my experience. (there are two reasons why i lost faith as a mormon or any other religion for that matter. but it will not be discuss in this post. ps the following critique is not one of those two reasons).

the issue was the utilization of peer pressure to ensure my faithfulness as a member of the church.* i now recognize the pressure that was applied to me by fellow members to live a certain life. there was always a push towards being upright and if you sin, in theory god is forgiving but you should never get to that point. and maybe i was just extremely naive (this might just be the case) but i really believed everyone around me was spotless just like god or jesus because this is what was projected to me. i felt like everyone was doing everything right and that i needed to get my act together to be like them. and i realize that no one meant any harm by trying to get me into heaven. its actually is quite nice of them. but at some point this whole notion of being your brother's keeper can be dangerous. when you begin to feel responsible for someone else's salvation as a means to save yourself, this is when problems start. this is when religion gets scary; when we want others to live according to what we perceive as right.

and who is to say that those with authority know what is going on? and that is what dimmesdale proved. here is a man of god who sins and does not take the very advice that he gave each week from his pulpit. dimmesdale demonstrates that religion should not be treated as an absolute. those with authority in the church are not innately divined but are human and capable of sin and errors like the rest of us. furthermore hester gives light to this discrepancy because the one that was labelled as the sinner by the church and society ultimately was the most christ-like.

also this is not an anti-religion rant, just some thoughts. like i addressed early the above was my personal experience, i know plenty of happy mormons so i am prolly the exception versus the rule.

so you may be wondering, should i reread this? if you have the time yes. but if not there are better classics. i mean hester prynne is a great character but her story isn't too much of a page turner.

also would like to explain a feature of all of my entries which will be my favorite quotes from the works.

favorite quotes:

"my heart was a habitation large enough for many guests, but lonely and chill, and without a household fire."


*sidenote: all judeo-christian faiths are guilty of this because they are community forming religions. and as a result of being a community, the members inadvertently become responsible for the salvation of each other. this is what prof bartchy taught me in history 4.