kiki's memoirs. alice prin. (153)

as i was reading the graphic novel, kiki de monteparnasse, i began to wonder where the stories told came from.  so i searched the library catalog and came across kiki's memoirs, written by kiki with an introduction by ernest hemingway!  

when i picked kiki's memoirs up, i was surprised by how thin it was, i wanted all the juicy details from her life and wasn't sure if the memoirs would give them all to me.

the first half of the memoirs are kiki or her actual name alice prin's actual memoirs .  she explained how her grandmother raised her along with her five other cousins, all who were bastards (for lack of a better word).   when she was 12, she moved to paris to be with her mother.  she worked odd jobs and longed for love.  then due to an argument with the baker she worked for kiki ended up with her first art job, posing for a sculptor.  she then began modeling for various artists and even painted her own art.  her biggest contribute to the art world was a result of her she meeting american surrealist man ray.  she became his muse and together they created beautiful art specifically photography.  here are some of my favorites and of course their most famous photograph:

kiki's memoirs were a bit confusing to read, it jumped around and she shared odd details but they were interesting since she was quite the character.  

one interesting story kiki discussed was the time that she was in jail for assaulting an officer but luckily man ray came to help her and she was released.

the later half of the memoirs is an interview from a paris newspaper.  i enjoyed this portion more because kiki was older, 50, and wiser.

there was one story, kiki shared about her grandmother that caused my admiration of  her grandmother for raising the grandchildren.  kiki shared how the neighbors told her to turn to public assistance for helping raising the kids to which she responded "i will raise my bastard, its nobody else's business.  it's the jerks their fathers who should be blamed."  everyone likes to blame the woman for bastard children but people forget that they have fathers too.

i loved how kiki was not ashamed of her bastard status.  she shared how she would run into her half sister and the sister would tell her, "i am going to tell my father" to which kiki responded "i don't give a damn, he's my father too."  

however, kiki's father was horrible, she shared a story of him trying to poison to kill her but her grandmother saved her. being abandoned by both parents caused much pain for kiki, as she sadly shared "no one knows what sorrow fills the heart of a child who doesn't have a father, whose mother is far away and whose only tenderness in life comes from a grandmother."

kiki's childhood was filled with sadness and misery.  she shared words of wisdom as she reflected on her sad memories.  she explained "when you meet an ugly and neglected little girl with her head shaved like an egg, don't laugh:  pitiful hair makes grown-ups loath but little ones cry."  from when her grandfather died, "death among poor people is not a catastrophe as it is among the rich, and when you have slaved all your life and barely succeeded in feeding yourself, the final departure is considered a deliverance."  kiki also shared about her mother's cold indifference towards her.  she discussed how she would become embarassed when other kids called their mothers, "mama dear."  she explained that she "would have let all [her] pain and [her] desire to be able say 'mama', since i was never permitted to say papa . . ."  how sad to feel unloved as a child.  however though her childhood was tragic, her life improved because of art.  it wasn't all glamour but when it was it was, it was glam!

the interview was not all sad stories.  kiki shared stories that demonstrated her colorful and vivacious spirit.  one of my favorite stories was how she took lace samples from a catalog and pinned them to her coat so that they looked like a beautiful blouse which people would compliment!  i also delighted in her stories about peré libion, who supported artists by feeding them at his restaurant.  i loved how at the one opening he brought champagne explaining he had provided everything else he might as well provide that (the artist had stolen place settings from his restaurant.  lol)

it was an interesting read and nice to see kiki discuss herself in her own words.  since it was brief, it left me wanting to know more which i will hopefully discover in the graphic novel.

ps i have to add kiki shared how her mother told her "country bumpkin you are and country bumpkin you shall be." i am country bumpkin that loves the city but feel that regardless of how far away i may move away, i am still a little bit country!

tell them anything you want: a portrait of maurice sendak by lance bangs and spike jonze.

on june 10th, google celebrated maurice sendak's birthday with this doodle:

adorable right? when i clicked on the doodle, it brought up a bunch of sendak info and i realized i never watched the documentary lance bangs and spike jonze made about him.  so of course i requested it from the library.

i didn't see "tell them" when it first came out because i didn't have hbo but i regret waiting this long to watch it. it was a beautiful yet sad documentary and my heart is now filled with even more love for maurice sendak.

as a kid i was always drawn to "where the wild things are" because of the illustrations but it wasn't until i was an adult that i became emotionally attached to the the book.  it wasn't until 2009, when i heard about spike jonze's film adaption of "where the wild things are", and i reread the book, did i finally identify with max.  i wrote a blog post about it, which your can read here: where the wild things are.

 

this emotional attachment to "where the wild things are" mixed with the honesty of sendak and then soundtracked by karen o (like the the movie) resulted in me crying throughout most of this documentary.  i just wanted to love sendak and make him feel loved, he has brought so much joy into the world with his stories yet he doesn't realize it (when jonze tells him this in the doc, he admits he spoiled).  maurice also suffered so much in life that the darkness of his books came to light.

i loved all of the stories maurice shared.  i will highlight some of my favorite parts but if you haven't seen the documentary, stop here.  go watch it and enjoy it and then come back to read my blog.  

(start here again)

 

here are my favorite stories:

the tale of his parents attempting to abort him and constantly telling him about it was sad but like he said it was different time.  they were not being cruel but honest.  children are a financial burden.  i always saw myself having at least four but now that i am older, it might be only one.  (i am also getting too old to have multiple kids)

when discussing his parents at a different time in the documentary, maurice made a very important point, "having children requires talent."  people have children but are not prepared to raise them. especially today, people are still children themselves and having kids.  as maurice said, raising kids is like an art.  i have always been extremely grateful that my grandmother raised me because she knew how to raise kids.  it was not simply because she had raised her own kids but grandma bea had also gone back to school to become a teacher when she was in her fifties.  my uncle boon always jokes that her kids got spanked but the grandkids didn't because grandma learned about child development.  i always tell people i had the best childhood and i know it's because of grandma bea's experience as a preschool teacher.  she provided a home in which we learned the importance of education in addition to feeling loved and valued.  i did well in school and was a well behaved child because of my grandma.  i consider myself a lucky one because not all parents know good parenting.  

maurice did not speak highly of his parents but it was sweet to hear him talk about his older siblings.  he truly loved them and they influenced all he accomplished in his life.  his brother jack was the one that taught him how to draw and they created these wonderful toys together.  when he talked about his brother, it brought me to tears.  i know i am not the perfect sibling but hope that i have been a good influence on my brother and sister.

though the story had happy memories, it was also filled with sad stories.  one story that made me sad was maurice's struggle with his homosexuality.  he did live in a different time but he spent most of his life wishing he wasn't gay.  jonze asked him when he stopped beating himself up about being gay and he said never.  when he made the point that he was worried about his career it made even more sense.  people would not be accepting of a gay children's book writer, but luckily his books were viewed on his skill versus his sexuality.  thought he felt like he missed out on a lot of fun, he did find love.  

another sad story was the one about the lindbergh baby.  the story in itself is devastating but the story of a young maurice seeing a photo of the mutilated baby's body in a newspaper was terrifying.  it was even more horrible considering that his family did not believe him and how it scarred him for life (he became obsessed with the case).  i haven't read "outside over there" (i have heard him allude to it in interviews) but saw it as a form of therapy for him to come to terms with the image that was etched into his mind.  and again he brings up another sad fact about childhood, how children probably see horrible images like this but never tell anyone.  it reminded me of how "world weekly news" traumatized me as a child. i mean why was that newspaper allowed near the grocery checkout stand within eyeview of kids shopping with their parents!  thanks to "world weekly news" i was scared that my mother was going to be kidnapped by the werewolf man and that if i swallowed a watermelon seed, a plant would grow in my belly (there was an edition that featured a kid with a vine coming through his belly button).  also bat boy was the most frightening picture ever.  i remember seeing these images on a family trip to san diego and though i was frightened, i never told anyone.  just like sendak shared, kids do experience scary things all the time but how many times do they share it with someone else? i mean i never discussed my "world weekly news" fear until now.  childhood can be scary.

when spike jonze's film adaptation of "where the wild things are" first came out i remember reading a critique calling it dark and scary.  jonze made the point that childhood is dark and scary but no one every really discusses it.  sendak's books show how childhood can be dark because he is all about honesty.  he makes the important point that he was often told he couldn't say this or that to kids but he believed that you can tell kids anything you want, as long as it is honest.  and this is why "where the wild things are" is so great.  it demonstrated how parents and children do act.  we fight and we argue and we have moments of anger but it's all temporary because at the end of all it, our love for each other is tolerant and forgiving.  it is important for kids to know that their parents love is boundless and that we are all human and will make mistakes but they can always count on their family love.

i have not read all of maurice sendak's catalogue but plan on reading them all. he mentioned specific books that i have yet to read and so i put in some requests. sendak was an amazing person and author and i am sure his books will teach me invaluable lessons about life.

i really loved this documentary. if you have not seen it please see it as soon as possible.  your heart will be happier after watching it.

ender's game. orson scott card. (101)

i have no idea how i was an adolescent who read and missed "ender's game" growing up. the cover looked familiar like i probably saw it at the library and book fairs however i still missed it. but thanks to flavorpill's 30 to read before 30, it finally came on my radar.

i was actually surprised by how much i enjoyed this book. the novel which is set in the future is the story of ender, a young boy who may be the world's savior. earth has engaged in previous wars with an alien species referred to as buggers and ender shows promise to be the commander that will stop the buggers from conquering earth.

at first, i was bit thrown off by the children in the book because they were evil. ender's older brother constantly threatened to kill ender (literally not figuratively) and ender's bullies at regular school wanted to cause physical harm to him (it became worse in battle school). but then i started to understand that though ender was 6, he was not a 6 year old of today but one of the future. and sadly these children do not have "normal" childhoods like we know today. the war against the buggers was so important that children are monitor via a monitor in their neck, to see if they show promise to be a commander. if they do they are shipped off to battle school to be trained. ender's sister valentine and his battle school friend dink, both tell ender about a time in the past where kids were allowed to play and went to school to learn instead of battling. they both look back at it as some golden past. ender leaves for battle school at age 6 and as i read i thought of the first graders that i sub for and majority do not show the maturity that ender demonstrated (but that could also be that he was the chosen one).

but this made me worry about now and the future. i don't see war being so important that childhoods are lost but i do see kids being exposed to adult things at too early of an age. i will probably shelter my kids and be this crazed tiger mom but i want my future kids to be kids. i am always shocked by children's use of profanity and knowledge of it. i once overheard 2nd graders singing the will.i.am and britney song and saying how they couldn't say the "b-word". it is good that a 7 year old knows bitch is a bad word but how is bitch even in their vocabulary. maybe my family is old fashion but no one cussed around me when i was a child. another thing that worries me is kids exposure to social media, if you are under the age of 14, you do not need a facebook page or instagram. go out and play outside, play with your dolls or action figures, read a book, interact with other kids in real life. you only get to be young once, enjoy it because being an adult means hard work, so be young while you can!

even though i felt bad that ender was never a carefree kid, the flip side is that this book reminds us of, like flavorpill stated, "the power of children". ender saved the world as a teen and he was able to do that because those around him took the time and effort to teach and train him. though the battle school tactics were sometime questionable, it did demonstrate how kids are intelligent and just need direction to become great. all kids are capable of success if they have the right support. the thing that people needs to realize is that the raising and teaching of kids is not the responsibly of the school but of the parents. it was an interesting transition for me to go from working in beverly hills where parents wanted their students to the brightest and best to coming back to delano where parents can't make sure that the students complete their homework. every child is capable of greatness they just need parents and teachers that are willing to help them achieve it.

yes, all of this from an young adult sci-fi novel. but back to the story. it truly is as flavorpill said one of the best science fictional novels of all time. once i was in, i couldn't put it down. ender is great protagonist and you want him to succeed but also worry about all the pressure that is put on him.

since the novel is sci-fi, i was impressed by the portrayal of the nets and politics in ender's world and how it is the same in our current world. ender's brother and sister used the nets to share their political thoughts with the world and become extremely famous though they are only kids (they have usernames to hide their identity). i thought it was interesting considering how today the internet and social media is utilized so anyone can share their political views. life imitating art!

i also appreciated that with all of the competition in battle school and war, in the end the lesson is one of tolerance ad learning about your enemy and discovering that no harm was meant initially.

but you should definitely read this if you never have and do it before the movie comes out!

one last analysis, the author orson scott card is mormon (found out in the introduction) and i couldn't help but draw parallels between ender's mission and LDS missions. the age students left for battle school was 8, which is the age the children are baptized in the church because they can distinguish between right and wrong. also kids in the church are trained throughout all of their sunday school lessons to become missionaries. and then they are set out into the world to save souls. it kinda works.

also last but not least there were a lot of mentions of farts in this book but i guess that is how kids talk!