taipei. tao lin. (192)

i forgot what inspired me to pick up taipei  but i did.  i have read other works by tao lin but wouldn't call myself a fan.  as i wrote in my post for his work richard yates, i am not sure how i feel about lin.  on one hand, i am never fully engaged in his work, i read it like i read things online, half-focused, but then he is pretty spot on when it comes to the hipster culture.

taipei, is another novel that is actually an autobiography that is framed as a novel (see: shelia heti's how a person should be?) which as i said before, thanks for the honesty but i can't help but feel cheated.  i mean why not just say it's a memoir?

in any case, in taipai, i discovered that tao lin did a shitload of drugs.  i mean a shitload.  and the sad part was that he did them because he felt like he functioned better in the world with them.  to quote the ever wise cher horowitz (which i think i have quoted before for this blog) "it is one thing to light up a doobie at a party, but it's quite another to be fried all day."  doing the occasional drug is kosher in my book but i can't imagine to the point of recklessness that lin did, having memory loss and vomiting all over union square from snorting too much heroin.  though in lin's defense he wasn't too fucked up because he did keep his google document of notes and of course all the videos which helped him create this work.  i am assuming all of the videos were real, i tried to look up the mcdonalds one but saw on his website the listing of the MDMA videos under his work.  i mean in the end he was able to do all of those drugs, not die, and still created a novel. so kudos to him.

but i mean reading about someone on drugs gets old quickly which resulted in my half-focus as a i read.    because in the end, regardless of how interesting these moments were to lin and his friends, they are all "you had to be there moments" for everyone else.  i have often thought that my life could be a tv series (after seeing mtv's "my life as liz") or a novel, well maybe more a collection of short stories, but i feel like i can never recreate the magic of what happen to me because for it to truly be great, you had to be there.  i could describe it but it was only truly worthwhile in that moment.  taipei was just one big, you had to be there story.  paul and erin's filming of tawian's first mcdonalds was great but i am sure it was 100% funnier if you were on drugs and there.  the same can be said for the #xmenlivetweet, i can imagine how incredible it all was for lin but to read it secondhand it wasn't all that amazing.  and i know because i have had ridiculous drunken (not drugged) incidents like lin, but i recognize that i am the only one that truly gets their magic.  like all the times i have snuck booze into the theater, for example my friend cody and i took in a bottle of rum when we went to see "pirates of caribbean" and i turned to him and in what i thought was a whisper asked for the rum, only for him to knock over the bottle and everyone heard the clank of the rum bottle.  or the time that my friends larry, peter and i went to see "jackass" and drank too much, and i had to pee so i decided to run out during an old person skit, and i ran straight into the mens room, apologized to a man peeing and bolted out the door while the concessions stand workers just stood their and laughed at my dumbass.  hilarious but would people want to read it?  my version of taipei would be called cahuenga and would be all about the drunken fun my friends and i had on cahuenga blvd circa 2008-2010.  but i mean other than my friends, who would anyone truly appreciate it or get it?  i mean lin has his celebrity clout to keep his readers reading but i am a nobody.

oh and before i drop all the drug talk (though it is like the defining theme of the novel), i did appreciate the irony of paul's disgust with erin taking prescription drugs.  erin started taking a pill as prescribed by her doctor and paul lectured her on not needing it and her becoming dependent on it.  this fight then escalated to the point in which paul left.  it was brilliant because the druggie recognizes the harms of prescription drugs.  society condones the recreational use of drugs yet drug companies are constantly trying to fix ailments that a) either don't exist or b) manageable without drugs.  i mean the number one side effect of most prescription drugs is death.  might as well take drugs for fun then.

though i have to add lin does not believe in drug problems as seen in this excerpt:

“They began talking about a Lil Wayne documentary that focused on Lil Wayne’s “drug problem,” which Lil Wayne denied. Paul felt it was bleak and depressing that the filmmakers superimposed their views onto Lil Wayne. Calvin seemed to agree with the documentary. Paul tried, with Erin, who agreed with him, he felt, to convey (mostly by slowly saying variations of “no” and “I can’t think right now”) that there was no such thing as a “drug problem” or even “drugs” – unless anything anyone ever did or thought or felt was considered both a drug and a problem – in that each thought or feeling or object, seen or touched or absorbed or remembered, at whatever coordinate of space-time, would have a unique effect, which each ever-changing person, at each moment of their life, could view as a problem, or not, for themselves.”

this is an interesting reasoning, everythinf outside of this notion of "self" is essentially a "drug" because it has some effect on us.  so i guess drugs really aren't a problem just another stimuli of life.

aside from drugs, there is also paul's relationship with erin, his wife.  i still don't know how that marriage happen though i will say i have, at least twice, tried to get two sets of my friends to marry when we were in vegas.  sadly it didn't happen both times.

erin and paul's relationship interested me because it reminded me of my best friend and i during my cahuenga years (maybe i should write this book).  we had alot of fun together but we also had these random fights.  my friend was also passive aggressive like paul, expecting someone to read his mind when he was upset instead of communicating or saying he wasn't upset when he was.  but part of the issue for us was just like erin and paul was that most of the fights happen when we were really drunk so that caused alot more drama than was necessary.  for me, it was interesting because i didn't know how authentic paul and erin's feelings truly were, everyone likes to believe there is more honesty when one is on drugs but at the same time your mind is so fucked that it might be true but it's definitely askewed. in the end, it just demonstrated how drugs can ruin relationships in addition to people.

as i mentioned earlier, lin is spot on when it comes to hipster culture.  i will admit that i loved the random asking of "do you like rilo kiley?" (for these that are curious, i do).  i also loved that marina abramović's "the artist is present" was mentioned because i sat with her for that piece.  goodreads was also namedropped though i don't think it's hipstery, i just use it.  but i guess everything felt very relevant but then again it was just his life.

i read it, not sure i would recommend it but at least i can say i read it.  which i guess is the point of reading tao lin.

a book vending machine and "my ideal bookshelf".

i have often debated about whether i should post links to book-related things that i find. i decided not to because most of the time i would be posting links to flavorpill. (if you aren't on their mailing list you should join, they are a great source for neat stuff if you love books, art, music and film.) but . . .

my friend joann emailed me a link to an NPR article about the monkey paw's book vending machine! and it has to be shared. how cool, right?!?! i am a sucker for $1 book bins. so this is right up my alley. i also love the randomness of the books. you never know what you are going to get it! and i do agree this would be great for kids because it's almost like they are getting a toy. my brother will carry around a 25¢ vending machine toy like its gold, so i am sure the same would happen with a book. i would love to see this in bookstores. hmmm they should get on kickstarter.

i also decided to post a link to a flavorpill article about the ideal bookshelves of famous readers. the article is about the book "my ideal bookshelf" by thesslay la force and features adorable drawings of bookshelves. in the flavorpill article, james franco is featured. seriously can the boy be even more dreamier? he sat with marina abramović and loves "one hundred years of solitude" i mean can we say ideal man?!?! i mean the acting thing doesn't make me swoon but ho's art realm persona does. but back to the book, what a great idea? i might draw my ideal bookshelf for myself!

the artist is present. marina abramović.

while searching the library catalogue online for art books, i discovered that there was not only one copy but two copies of marina abramović documentary, "the artist is present"! no offense but with its limited release, i figured "the artist is present" was not on the san joaquin valley librarians' radar. but i was wrong. so in hopes of doing my part to help the continuation of the library investing in future art documentaries, i checked it out, even though i saw it in theaters. (if you are reading this and saw it in theaters, check out the DVD, there were a handful of interesting segments that ended up on the editing floor.)

a bit of a backstory. so in 2010, i went to new york because my friend mona was doing a residency. my trip just so happened to coincide with the tim burton exhibit at the moma, and thanks to my amazing friend ivan and his membership card and it being a raining day (so the museum was extra packed), i was able to sneak in. i also have to give a quick shout out to juliana, she was in nyc at the time too and she was the reason i went that day. so yes tim button was amazing (though i would go on to see it about 4 more times when it came to the lacma.), but the absolute highlight for me was participating in marina abramović's "the artist is present."

prior to my visit, i had never heard of marina abramović. to be even more honest, i was so focused on getting into burton that i may have missed her piece on my way in. however, on our way, juliana and i came across abramović's atrium and her piece "the artist is present". the piece consisted of an area being marked off by tape on the ground and surrounded by lights. there were two chairs, one with marina in it and the other empty for museum visitors to sit in and a table. from what i read in the wall description of the piece and from what was going on in front of me, marina was to sit there during museum hours and not speak or eat or get up and people were invited to participate, by sitting across from her.

for those of you who know me, you know that for me life is about experiences and after discovering i could be apart of an art installation at the moma, i had to do it. (there is a special features called "the audience completes the work" and at the end a young boy expressed this sentiment of being a part of work of art, perfectly.)

so i got in line and waited for my turn. i was surprised because it actually took a while. i sat there for a couple of hours. there was no time restriction for an individual's sitting and some people would sit for hours. i found out from others that people sat for a couple of hours or tried to outlast her, which in my opinion is silly. marina is sitting for how many days, you won't win.

as i was sitting, i realized i was going to sit with her but i knew nothing about her. but, i was lucky and the woman behind me in line, held my place so i could walk through her retrospective. since i was unfamiliar with her and her work, i gave myself a quick tutorial and went through her life's work all in one walk through. and her life's work was amazing and what was even better was that there were reproductions of her pieces with actors (nude actors). one reproduction, "imponderabilia" consisted of two nude individuals in a doorway and you had to walk in a narrow space between them. i remember thinking to myself, which sex will i face, the male or female, i think i faced the male as i went through. another reproduction that i thought was beautiful was "relation in time" in which two individuals sat back to back with their hair tied together.

there were so many pieces that amazed me. "rhythm 0" in which marina laid 72 objects on a table and allowed the audience to use her as they pleased. one item was a gun, and someone had her hold it and point it at herself but another spectator had her take it down. "rhythm 2" in which marina took medication that is used for treatment of acute catatonic and schizophrenia to see the effects. there was one with ulay in which he held one part a bow and she the string with the arrow pointed at her heart! i could go on and on, but you should watch the doc to learn more. i will add, i was also amazed just by her physical and mental strength to perform and complete her pieces.

after my quick tutorial, i got back in line. i remember being worried because the museum was closing soon and i would not get my turn. i discussed with the woman behind me that if i got in, i would only take 15 minutes so that she could get a turn as well. by the grace of the museum gods, within the last hour of the moma being opened, i got my turn.

i remember being very nervous as i went in. its is overwhelming at first because of the lights and you are aware that others are watching (you have just finished being a spectator). but i began to focus on marina's face and then had an internal dialogue with her. well she didn't speak in person or in my mind, but in my head i thanked her for everything. i thanked her for her art and for the opportunity to be apart of her piece. i also gushed about her art and shared with her what my favorite pieces were from her retrospective. it was odd too, because i forgot about everyone else in the room and sitting with her was like this spirit cleansing, she calmed and centered me. i was just overwhelmed with joy when i was done. i wanted to sit there longer but didn't want to be greedy so left for others to have a turn. (also the lady was even nicer and took pictures of me as i sat). (also james franco gives a great description of how it is to be aware of everything but connected in the doc.)

(sorry that was a long backstory). so when i heard a documentary was made about her piece i had to go. danny and i made a lovely evening of it and saw it at the nuart. it was amazing to learn more about marina as an artist and a person. in addition, it was great to get a behind the scenes look at the piece too. it was even more amazing because in a small way since i participated in it, i felt connected to it. on my first viewing, i remember being in awe of her youthfulness, she is a very young looking sixty something. and second, being surprised that she allowed her reunion with ulay to be recorded. they had a very intense relationship and to allow the cameras in on that segment was very brave. however, i do think it was easier for her than him, she had developed into this great woman and artist and perhaps she would have never reached this, if their relationship did not end. it is interesting to think of her restricted to the female realm; especially since now she is so strong and independent. to hear marina explain what she had to learn to do, when their relationship ended, demonstrated how much she was restricted by their relationship. so as much as their art together was great, to be who she is today, they had to end. i still can not get over the beauty of marina and ulay's last piece together; walking from the ends of the great wall of china and meeting in the middle only to depart forever. if i ever marry and then get divorce, i want to do the same thing.

[random pop culture tidbit: gaga being the great thief that she is, was supposed to walk from new york to nebraska ala marina and ulay, but she didn't. but that is why there is that random walking at the beginning of "yoü and i" music video.]

with checking it out from the library and viewing it again, i was able to get more insight. i was also able to share my experience with grandma bea.

the special features were great to watch. there were many great things that klaus biedenbach shared that completed the documentary for me. (the film as is is brilliant, but these additions are just as they are named "special features"). one thing they should have kept was his description of marina as an urban legend. this is very true, when i explain who she is to others, i always mention the great wall of china, the aborigines, and the sex and the city episode. he also discussed the original concept for her retrospective with seven platforms which would have gone through her works via props and she would walk down from each. just the scale of it would have been daring. i would have loved to have seen that but still believe the piece she did is far superior. lastly, it is interesting how they had thought that the chair would be empty most of the time, that the occasional person would sit versus a line. but what a line there was. i had gone in the earlier months so there was no running like in the doc.

i think the part that should have been kept in was marina's belgrade homecoming. i think it completed marina as a person and as an artist and gave new depth to her piece. in this doc, it is discussed via sound bites, how marina filled the void from her childhood with love from her audience. but in the interview with her aunt, this notion is more obvious. the stories from her childhood as told by her aunt demonstrates the absent of love better. biedenbach explained how marina is in love with the world, and how she made everyone in the atrium believe she was in love with them. and it's true, for that moment i felt that she loved me. i was also happy to give my love to her.

also there was a great story shared by her aunt about when marina was a child. marina's grandmother would leave marina sitting at the table with a glass of water while she went to get food. the grandmother would be gone for 2-3 hours and when she came back noted that marina had not moved! her sittings go back further than night sea crossing.

one last story of my experience. i was confused when they moved the table in the documentary because in my head there wasn't one. i felt so close to her that i didn't remember the table, but since i went in march, it had to be there. i had to reference pictures and as you can see, yes it was there. but that is how intense it was that i didn't remember it.

and to the guy in the doc that said what is going to happen next that someone will be shot in the face and it will be called art. well someone in fact has, google "chris burden, shot", though it was his arm.

*quick PSA on supporting your local library. this DVD had a sticker on it stating that it was "paid for by measure b". it is the second item i have checked out that was funded by that measure. so please continue to vote for measures like that because it does purchase great materials for libraries.

[a special treat for reading this entire entry: link to my portrait from
sitting with marina. my hair was frizzy cos it was raining. http://www.flickr.com/photos/themuseumofmodernart/4479857644/in/set-72157623741486824]