god bless ozzy osbourne

i checked out god bless ozzy osbourne after darlene told me that she and her husband watched it one night. and she was right.  it is an excellent documentary and i learned a lot about the osbournes.

to start, i have to explain that ozzy is coherent in this documentary!  he talks and he makes sense!  i know it's shocking to hear, especially those who watched the mtv series the osbournes.  it turns out that what we saw on that show was not the effects of alcohol and drug abuse, but rather someone on drugs and alcohol.  i had no idea, here i thought ozzy was just getting old, but it turns out that ozzy was just fucked up.  it was great to see him functioning like a normal person in this documentary, so watch it just for that.

also aimee, the sibling that did not want her face to be shown on the tv series is gorgeous!  at first, it hought kelly had just lost some weight, i mean they look like twins.  but it turns out that was aimee.  she really is quite beautiful.  no offense, but kelly must have some secret hatred/jealousy of her sister based on her looks. 

also ozzy has two children from a previous marriage, i did not know that.

sharon also shared what happened with dove biting and the bat bitiing.  he thought the bat was fake, and it wasn't.  

all in all, it's a really great documentary, tommy lee shared some crazy story about ozzy osbourne which was gross and entertaining.

if you have showtime, you should definitely take the time to watch it.  it's great to see his life and to now see him sober.

also i have to add, ozzy was super hot when he was younger!  and boy did he have some amazing outfits.  i especially loved all the fringe that he wore.  as seen below: 

tell them anything you want: a portrait of maurice sendak by lance bangs and spike jonze.

on june 10th, google celebrated maurice sendak's birthday with this doodle:

adorable right? when i clicked on the doodle, it brought up a bunch of sendak info and i realized i never watched the documentary lance bangs and spike jonze made about him.  so of course i requested it from the library.

i didn't see "tell them" when it first came out because i didn't have hbo but i regret waiting this long to watch it. it was a beautiful yet sad documentary and my heart is now filled with even more love for maurice sendak.

as a kid i was always drawn to "where the wild things are" because of the illustrations but it wasn't until i was an adult that i became emotionally attached to the the book.  it wasn't until 2009, when i heard about spike jonze's film adaption of "where the wild things are", and i reread the book, did i finally identify with max.  i wrote a blog post about it, which your can read here: where the wild things are.

 

this emotional attachment to "where the wild things are" mixed with the honesty of sendak and then soundtracked by karen o (like the the movie) resulted in me crying throughout most of this documentary.  i just wanted to love sendak and make him feel loved, he has brought so much joy into the world with his stories yet he doesn't realize it (when jonze tells him this in the doc, he admits he spoiled).  maurice also suffered so much in life that the darkness of his books came to light.

i loved all of the stories maurice shared.  i will highlight some of my favorite parts but if you haven't seen the documentary, stop here.  go watch it and enjoy it and then come back to read my blog.  

(start here again)

 

here are my favorite stories:

the tale of his parents attempting to abort him and constantly telling him about it was sad but like he said it was different time.  they were not being cruel but honest.  children are a financial burden.  i always saw myself having at least four but now that i am older, it might be only one.  (i am also getting too old to have multiple kids)

when discussing his parents at a different time in the documentary, maurice made a very important point, "having children requires talent."  people have children but are not prepared to raise them. especially today, people are still children themselves and having kids.  as maurice said, raising kids is like an art.  i have always been extremely grateful that my grandmother raised me because she knew how to raise kids.  it was not simply because she had raised her own kids but grandma bea had also gone back to school to become a teacher when she was in her fifties.  my uncle boon always jokes that her kids got spanked but the grandkids didn't because grandma learned about child development.  i always tell people i had the best childhood and i know it's because of grandma bea's experience as a preschool teacher.  she provided a home in which we learned the importance of education in addition to feeling loved and valued.  i did well in school and was a well behaved child because of my grandma.  i consider myself a lucky one because not all parents know good parenting.  

maurice did not speak highly of his parents but it was sweet to hear him talk about his older siblings.  he truly loved them and they influenced all he accomplished in his life.  his brother jack was the one that taught him how to draw and they created these wonderful toys together.  when he talked about his brother, it brought me to tears.  i know i am not the perfect sibling but hope that i have been a good influence on my brother and sister.

though the story had happy memories, it was also filled with sad stories.  one story that made me sad was maurice's struggle with his homosexuality.  he did live in a different time but he spent most of his life wishing he wasn't gay.  jonze asked him when he stopped beating himself up about being gay and he said never.  when he made the point that he was worried about his career it made even more sense.  people would not be accepting of a gay children's book writer, but luckily his books were viewed on his skill versus his sexuality.  thought he felt like he missed out on a lot of fun, he did find love.  

another sad story was the one about the lindbergh baby.  the story in itself is devastating but the story of a young maurice seeing a photo of the mutilated baby's body in a newspaper was terrifying.  it was even more horrible considering that his family did not believe him and how it scarred him for life (he became obsessed with the case).  i haven't read "outside over there" (i have heard him allude to it in interviews) but saw it as a form of therapy for him to come to terms with the image that was etched into his mind.  and again he brings up another sad fact about childhood, how children probably see horrible images like this but never tell anyone.  it reminded me of how "world weekly news" traumatized me as a child. i mean why was that newspaper allowed near the grocery checkout stand within eyeview of kids shopping with their parents!  thanks to "world weekly news" i was scared that my mother was going to be kidnapped by the werewolf man and that if i swallowed a watermelon seed, a plant would grow in my belly (there was an edition that featured a kid with a vine coming through his belly button).  also bat boy was the most frightening picture ever.  i remember seeing these images on a family trip to san diego and though i was frightened, i never told anyone.  just like sendak shared, kids do experience scary things all the time but how many times do they share it with someone else? i mean i never discussed my "world weekly news" fear until now.  childhood can be scary.

when spike jonze's film adaptation of "where the wild things are" first came out i remember reading a critique calling it dark and scary.  jonze made the point that childhood is dark and scary but no one every really discusses it.  sendak's books show how childhood can be dark because he is all about honesty.  he makes the important point that he was often told he couldn't say this or that to kids but he believed that you can tell kids anything you want, as long as it is honest.  and this is why "where the wild things are" is so great.  it demonstrated how parents and children do act.  we fight and we argue and we have moments of anger but it's all temporary because at the end of all it, our love for each other is tolerant and forgiving.  it is important for kids to know that their parents love is boundless and that we are all human and will make mistakes but they can always count on their family love.

i have not read all of maurice sendak's catalogue but plan on reading them all. he mentioned specific books that i have yet to read and so i put in some requests. sendak was an amazing person and author and i am sure his books will teach me invaluable lessons about life.

i really loved this documentary. if you have not seen it please see it as soon as possible.  your heart will be happier after watching it.

shut up and play the hits.

dear james murphy,

james murphy, i love you but you're bringing me down. my heart is broken because lcd soundsystem no longer exist. i know that i will always have the music but with the ending of lcd, i realized i will never again be able to dance myself clean at an lcd soundsystem concert. and let's be honest, i would not have done those drugs at the hollywood bowl if i knew that was going to be my only lcd soundsystem concert. it was amazing and the drugs made it insanely amazing but i don't have any real memories of show, and i wish i did.

i remember where i was when i found out about your final show. i read it on laist's twitter at the chinatown gold line stop waiting for a friend. i freaked out about the news and was hopeful it was a rumor. but that was not the case. i was tempted to buy a ticket but with coachella in the same month, could not afford both (i was on unemployment at the time.) plus with all those damn scalpers i probably would have ended up ticketless. by the way, very cool how you guys did those terminal 5 shows to make up for those basterd scalpers.

but luckily for me, you made a documentary and concert dvd, which my middle-of-nowhere town had in their library system. so i checked it out (also thanks to my friend justin for posting about on fb which inspired me to look for it in the library's catalog). so not only did i get to try to come to terms (somewhat) with your decision, i was able to experience the concert even though i wasn't there. i also was able to buy some merch from the final show. i noticed your panda tote on your visit to keith and looked online and ordered one for myself!

so let's start with the documentary. first of all, kudos to dylan southen and will lovelace and probably the director of photography, reed morano, visually it was stunning. and wow what a clean apartment you have. and though i am not a pet person would consider getting a french bulldog cos yours is so cute!

i loved that chuck klosterman interviewed you. i love all of his books. but seriously man, reasons for the band ending are bullshit. because your getting old?!?! so your body is falling apart, that is not because of the touring, it's because that what happens with age. it sucks, i'm getting old too and it sad how quickly your body turns on you. i used to not be this fat but it doesn't mean i am going to stop living. and so a few gray hairs shouldn't stop you from being a band. also don't you realize that retirement is never healthy for older people? the healthiest old people are the ones that stay active via work.

and i get wanting to start a family but again no need to end the band. look at gwen stefani she had kids and toured. it is possible to have a family and make music. you can create music in a home studio which would allow you to still play dad. plus who says you have to constantly be on the road, you can find a nice balance between touring and home life. plus i just googled your wife a fashion designer? i've watched rachel zoe and her busy is just as chaotic? is she quitting too? it is possible to find a balance between life and work, people do it everyday, rockstarness is not different, in fact it's probably easier cos your night limited to the such a strict work schedule. i see the amount of leisure time industry people have in la, so your family reason is not legit enough.

i know you want to lead a normal life but you are no longer normal, sorry. and no offense but will lcd really ever reach that level where you will not be able to ride the subway? i'm sure you get recognized in brooklyn but let's be honest, your fans are way to hip to ever bother you. move to la, we ignore or celebrities because we see so many of them.

and just as the doc and klosterman framed it, you are jumping ship because you are afraid of failing. its like barry's sub question in "high fidelity": "is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?" actually it's not cos you are choosing to neither burn out or fade away, you are quitting. you think you're burnt out but you are just scared. and it's okay to be scared but don't be a coward. see what happens next instead of going out when you are on top. this might not even be your peak but we will never know. but just like you tried to avoid saying it in the documentary, it was already written in your face, this quitting will be your biggest failure. this will be what you are known for not the great dance music you created. and i mean this is the nicest way possible but i hope you hit rock bottom so i can attend your reunion set at coachella 2015.

i'll stop being so harsh but my final thought on your quitting is "you fucked up."

okay so now for some praise:

your extra features were great! i loved the story you shared about the reading festival. i love in la, so i know all about that type of horrible crowd but there are those among us who truly love the music so don't short change us. btw i've seen you listed at hard and s.s. coachella for dj sets, how is this different for touring as LCD soundsystem?

also your segment with keith was great! loved you two in the mower.

and the concert. amazing!!! wish i was there. i watched it with my little brother who is 9, and i made him have a dance party with me. i even busted out some light up toys. he had a lot of fun. and it's sad to think, i'll never be able to take him to one of your shows.

i am also going to try to get my friend danny to throw a dinner party/dance party featuring this DVD.

and i hate to be such a poser but only really know "this is happening" and off course "daft punk" and "tribulations". but that little robot rockopera song/set/experience was amazing. thank you. and if you are wondering "home" is my favorite.

so i guess thank you for allowing this moment in your history to be captured. it was nice to be apart of it somewhat. last but not least please reconsider this whole quitting business, you have to be bored by normal life by now. didn't all of those fans crying at the end get to you?!?!?

sincerely,
krisha mendoza

p.s. can you please let aziz ansari, i am a huge fan (read: what to make half indian babies with him)? he's funny, a foodie and has great taste in music!

the five obstructions.

in rosecrans baldwin's "you lost me there", sara, wife of the lead character victor, believed the short film "the perfect human" was the perfect movie. of course after reading this praise, i had to see it. i googled "the perfect human" and discovered it is a real film and the library had a copy of it, so i checked it out. actually, i checked out "the five obstruction" which is a documentary about jørgen leth that made the film "the perfect human". "the perfect human" was one of the special features on the DVD.

when i was done watching "the perfect human", i felt like baldwin's character, victor. it was too abstract or high brow for me and i didn't get it.

at first i thought it was discussion on how the perfect human is an oxymoron. a human can not be perfect because in order to be human one is innately flawed. thanks to eve and adam (she gets first billing here cos she is one that first bit the forbidden fruit) all humans bear the burden of the original sin, so perfection is unattainable. we see in the film that the perfect human is not perfect nor is he special. in fact, the perfect human is normal and does ordinary things. i then started to observe the film as if i was from another planet and observing human life as an outsider. i thought of how when we humans observe animals we label and characterize the mundane things they do. furthermore, we tend to label things extraordinary when they are not. and that is how i came to view the perfect human, he was not special on his own but special because we were observing him.

one scene i found interesting was when the perfect human in a room with no boundaries and with nothing, just danced. i enjoyed his dancing and dancing does make me happy, but still not sure what the complete point of that segment was.

the film closed with the perfect human saying "today, too, i experienced something i shall hope to understand in a few days' time". and perhaps this is what made him the perfect human, the fact that he understand that life is at times incomprehension and what may be confusing in the present will make sense in our future.

even after that all those thoughts, i still agreed with victor that "the perfect human" was silly. i decided to reread the section from "you lost me there" about the film. i no longer had the library copy but thanks to google books found the excerpt i needed. sara described the film as being anti-pretentious and that "the director was putting everything on the line . . .[and] he's saying there is no one you can pin down. even the perfect one's we can not know."

watching it a second time with sara's observation in mind, it did make sense. we see the perfect human doing things and things about him are explained but we still do not really know him.

oddly enough, this was also the conclusion of the documentary. or at least what i think the point of it was. it was bit over my head too.

the documentary involved the director, lars von trier challenging the director, jørgen leth to remake his short film "the perfect human" but with restrictions. i didn't realize it but von trier directed "dancer in the dark", the only film of his i have seen it. this film had the same graininess as that film but that could just be his thing.

von trier gave leth directions for his remakes like limiting scenes to 12 frames, setting it in cuba, setting it in the most miserable place in the world (both leth and i thought india), complete freedom and a cartoon. von trier wanted them to be crap but in fact he loved all of them. he also idolized leth so he was a bit biased. i for one did not care for any of the remakes. i will admit that i do not complete get the original so i may not be the best judge. but the remakes did not have the same spirit as the original. there is a simplicity to it that was lost in the obstructions. the only one i enjoyed was the cartoon one, which surprised both leth and von trier because they hate cartoons.

the fifth obstruction is directed by von trier and everything comes to light. in the end, it is discovered that von trier's goal in making this documentary was to help save leth. once he admitted this, i recalled how von trier always mentioned how happy leth looked or his depression (but unsure what was implied by that). but in the end, von trier discovered that he was projecting on leth and substituted leth as the perfect human. von trier thought he knew leth more than leth himself but turns out he did not know him at all. kinda like how sara viewed "the perfect human" in the novel.

in the end, i was just as confused as the beginning but i think that goes back to my not getting "the perfect human" in the first place. i did google to find out more but came up with no real analysis. i did come across talk about von trier doing another documentary with scorsese and de niro and remaking "taxi driver". this would be interesting and i look forward to that since i am actually familiar with the original.

the artist is present. marina abramović.

while searching the library catalogue online for art books, i discovered that there was not only one copy but two copies of marina abramović documentary, "the artist is present"! no offense but with its limited release, i figured "the artist is present" was not on the san joaquin valley librarians' radar. but i was wrong. so in hopes of doing my part to help the continuation of the library investing in future art documentaries, i checked it out, even though i saw it in theaters. (if you are reading this and saw it in theaters, check out the DVD, there were a handful of interesting segments that ended up on the editing floor.)

a bit of a backstory. so in 2010, i went to new york because my friend mona was doing a residency. my trip just so happened to coincide with the tim burton exhibit at the moma, and thanks to my amazing friend ivan and his membership card and it being a raining day (so the museum was extra packed), i was able to sneak in. i also have to give a quick shout out to juliana, she was in nyc at the time too and she was the reason i went that day. so yes tim button was amazing (though i would go on to see it about 4 more times when it came to the lacma.), but the absolute highlight for me was participating in marina abramović's "the artist is present."

prior to my visit, i had never heard of marina abramović. to be even more honest, i was so focused on getting into burton that i may have missed her piece on my way in. however, on our way, juliana and i came across abramović's atrium and her piece "the artist is present". the piece consisted of an area being marked off by tape on the ground and surrounded by lights. there were two chairs, one with marina in it and the other empty for museum visitors to sit in and a table. from what i read in the wall description of the piece and from what was going on in front of me, marina was to sit there during museum hours and not speak or eat or get up and people were invited to participate, by sitting across from her.

for those of you who know me, you know that for me life is about experiences and after discovering i could be apart of an art installation at the moma, i had to do it. (there is a special features called "the audience completes the work" and at the end a young boy expressed this sentiment of being a part of work of art, perfectly.)

so i got in line and waited for my turn. i was surprised because it actually took a while. i sat there for a couple of hours. there was no time restriction for an individual's sitting and some people would sit for hours. i found out from others that people sat for a couple of hours or tried to outlast her, which in my opinion is silly. marina is sitting for how many days, you won't win.

as i was sitting, i realized i was going to sit with her but i knew nothing about her. but, i was lucky and the woman behind me in line, held my place so i could walk through her retrospective. since i was unfamiliar with her and her work, i gave myself a quick tutorial and went through her life's work all in one walk through. and her life's work was amazing and what was even better was that there were reproductions of her pieces with actors (nude actors). one reproduction, "imponderabilia" consisted of two nude individuals in a doorway and you had to walk in a narrow space between them. i remember thinking to myself, which sex will i face, the male or female, i think i faced the male as i went through. another reproduction that i thought was beautiful was "relation in time" in which two individuals sat back to back with their hair tied together.

there were so many pieces that amazed me. "rhythm 0" in which marina laid 72 objects on a table and allowed the audience to use her as they pleased. one item was a gun, and someone had her hold it and point it at herself but another spectator had her take it down. "rhythm 2" in which marina took medication that is used for treatment of acute catatonic and schizophrenia to see the effects. there was one with ulay in which he held one part a bow and she the string with the arrow pointed at her heart! i could go on and on, but you should watch the doc to learn more. i will add, i was also amazed just by her physical and mental strength to perform and complete her pieces.

after my quick tutorial, i got back in line. i remember being worried because the museum was closing soon and i would not get my turn. i discussed with the woman behind me that if i got in, i would only take 15 minutes so that she could get a turn as well. by the grace of the museum gods, within the last hour of the moma being opened, i got my turn.

i remember being very nervous as i went in. its is overwhelming at first because of the lights and you are aware that others are watching (you have just finished being a spectator). but i began to focus on marina's face and then had an internal dialogue with her. well she didn't speak in person or in my mind, but in my head i thanked her for everything. i thanked her for her art and for the opportunity to be apart of her piece. i also gushed about her art and shared with her what my favorite pieces were from her retrospective. it was odd too, because i forgot about everyone else in the room and sitting with her was like this spirit cleansing, she calmed and centered me. i was just overwhelmed with joy when i was done. i wanted to sit there longer but didn't want to be greedy so left for others to have a turn. (also the lady was even nicer and took pictures of me as i sat). (also james franco gives a great description of how it is to be aware of everything but connected in the doc.)

(sorry that was a long backstory). so when i heard a documentary was made about her piece i had to go. danny and i made a lovely evening of it and saw it at the nuart. it was amazing to learn more about marina as an artist and a person. in addition, it was great to get a behind the scenes look at the piece too. it was even more amazing because in a small way since i participated in it, i felt connected to it. on my first viewing, i remember being in awe of her youthfulness, she is a very young looking sixty something. and second, being surprised that she allowed her reunion with ulay to be recorded. they had a very intense relationship and to allow the cameras in on that segment was very brave. however, i do think it was easier for her than him, she had developed into this great woman and artist and perhaps she would have never reached this, if their relationship did not end. it is interesting to think of her restricted to the female realm; especially since now she is so strong and independent. to hear marina explain what she had to learn to do, when their relationship ended, demonstrated how much she was restricted by their relationship. so as much as their art together was great, to be who she is today, they had to end. i still can not get over the beauty of marina and ulay's last piece together; walking from the ends of the great wall of china and meeting in the middle only to depart forever. if i ever marry and then get divorce, i want to do the same thing.

[random pop culture tidbit: gaga being the great thief that she is, was supposed to walk from new york to nebraska ala marina and ulay, but she didn't. but that is why there is that random walking at the beginning of "yoü and i" music video.]

with checking it out from the library and viewing it again, i was able to get more insight. i was also able to share my experience with grandma bea.

the special features were great to watch. there were many great things that klaus biedenbach shared that completed the documentary for me. (the film as is is brilliant, but these additions are just as they are named "special features"). one thing they should have kept was his description of marina as an urban legend. this is very true, when i explain who she is to others, i always mention the great wall of china, the aborigines, and the sex and the city episode. he also discussed the original concept for her retrospective with seven platforms which would have gone through her works via props and she would walk down from each. just the scale of it would have been daring. i would have loved to have seen that but still believe the piece she did is far superior. lastly, it is interesting how they had thought that the chair would be empty most of the time, that the occasional person would sit versus a line. but what a line there was. i had gone in the earlier months so there was no running like in the doc.

i think the part that should have been kept in was marina's belgrade homecoming. i think it completed marina as a person and as an artist and gave new depth to her piece. in this doc, it is discussed via sound bites, how marina filled the void from her childhood with love from her audience. but in the interview with her aunt, this notion is more obvious. the stories from her childhood as told by her aunt demonstrates the absent of love better. biedenbach explained how marina is in love with the world, and how she made everyone in the atrium believe she was in love with them. and it's true, for that moment i felt that she loved me. i was also happy to give my love to her.

also there was a great story shared by her aunt about when marina was a child. marina's grandmother would leave marina sitting at the table with a glass of water while she went to get food. the grandmother would be gone for 2-3 hours and when she came back noted that marina had not moved! her sittings go back further than night sea crossing.

one last story of my experience. i was confused when they moved the table in the documentary because in my head there wasn't one. i felt so close to her that i didn't remember the table, but since i went in march, it had to be there. i had to reference pictures and as you can see, yes it was there. but that is how intense it was that i didn't remember it.

and to the guy in the doc that said what is going to happen next that someone will be shot in the face and it will be called art. well someone in fact has, google "chris burden, shot", though it was his arm.

*quick PSA on supporting your local library. this DVD had a sticker on it stating that it was "paid for by measure b". it is the second item i have checked out that was funded by that measure. so please continue to vote for measures like that because it does purchase great materials for libraries.

[a special treat for reading this entire entry: link to my portrait from
sitting with marina. my hair was frizzy cos it was raining. http://www.flickr.com/photos/themuseumofmodernart/4479857644/in/set-72157623741486824]