breaking down part 2. movie version.

WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!! (you have been warned so save your bitching.)

(yes, hell did freeze over and i saw a twilight movie at a movie theater!)

i debated about blogging about this movie but figured:

a) it is based on a book and i did blog about "the perks of being a wallflower"
b) with the movie versions of "life of pi", "les miserables", "anna karenina" and "on the road" coming out, i should start the trend of blogging about movies based on books
c) it was a PDC dance moms book club event (though we didn't read the book)

i have never been interested in the "twilight" series, books or movies. my grandma said it was a bunch of teenage fluff and no offense but not interested in reading about a love triangle consisting of a girl, a vampire and a werewolf and their teen angst and sexual frustration. so never read the books. i did see part of the first movie, but had no desire to watch the movies. the movie franchise got too out of control for me to get on the bandwagon. i can admit that robert pattinson is hot, pasty and tall, swoon. i think taylor looks prepubescent so feel like a pervert when i look at him. yes, abs are hot but not on a 12 year old. and seriously kristen stewart???! ever since i saw her first vmas appearance, i can not stomach her. she is not an actress, girl is not acting. she is that weird and awkward in real life and luckily finds roles in which she has to be the weird and awkward girl. (for the record, yes i am sad that she is "on the road".)

however, i decided to break my no-twilight-rule when the PDC dance moms book club decided to see "breaking drawn part 2". i could be a team player plus i owed robert pattinson one for drunkenly harassing him at an adele concert, for this photo:

as much as it pains me to admit this, it wasn't that bad. it was actually entertaining. i enjoyed how they gathered up the different vampires from all over the world. i found it interesting how some of the vampires had special powers, even the evil ones. and that british vampire was dreamy and eye candy always makes everything better.

but here is my laundry list of what i did not enjoy:

-the "war" being a premonition. what a cop out! i got caught up in the battle, i was sad when carlisle died, and cheered when the bad guys died (btw, loved dakota fanning as a villain). and instead of rejoicing when it turned out that it didn't happen, i was disappointed. it was like meyer didn't have the balls to have a real battle. in harry potter, we (yes, we, i loved this series) lost so many amazing people in the battle against evil: sirius, remus, tonks, dumbledore, dobby!!! because guess what, life is unpredictable and unfair and sometimes we lose the ones we love so that good can prevails over evil. furthermore, the kid seemed to be okay with dying. they should have given her up. i mean harry potter sacrificed himself and that aspect is what made that story so powerful. i think the just-kidding-it-was-all-a-dream-ending prevented "breaking dawn" from being great. it lost its heart. instead it was a lame hollywood ending where everyone lives happily ever after.

-in regards to this happily ever after ending, everything cleaned up waaaaay too nicely. seriously jacob and their kid ending up together?!?!? that was gross and the story should not have gone there. in what universe would this be okay?!?! what about an ending showing jacob okay with being single the rest of his life and hooking up with chicks for all of eternity? wouldn't that be more realistic for a werewolf in a vampire movie? lol

-the sex scene 30 minutes into he movie?!?!? i could have lived without watching them christian their house. and the talk about, "wow you were holding back" and "how will we stop ourselves from going at it all the time". seriously, spoken like someone who has been sexually repressed their entire life. (see: meyer is mormon. this sounds harsh but i was raised mormon, i know). people having sex when they want and for as long as they want?!?! these concepts are neither ground-breaking or revolutionary, in real life or the vampire genre. i think twilight's original message of abstinence is important for teens but it does send the wrong message that once married, the lead character turns into a sex fiend. bella was first the virgin temptress and then the horny sex addict. women should not be restricted to only two sexualities the virgin or the whore. we can have healthy sexual appetities without feigning innocent or craziness. we should try to break the virgin/slut whore versus reinforce it!

-instead of abstinence, safe sex needed to be discussed. if half-breeds could potentially pose danger to the world, shouldn't they have been more careful in terms of birth control?!?! edward should have wrapped it up or bella should have been on the pill. just because you are married doesn't mean you are ready to have kids or that you should have them, so you should still take precautions. again another indication of their sexual immaturity.

-lastly, how did the writers let that loch ness monster line remain in the movie?!?!??

so those are my complaints and oddly enough i might read the series but that is just so i can have proof for my avoidance of this series instead of just my snobbiness.

richard yates. tao lin. (55)

as mentioned in my previous post "richard yates" was my second attempt to get tao lin. [i hate to admit this but for the longest time i thought this was an allusion to yeats, though i physically saw yates, my mind processed it as yeats]. another disclaimer i have never read any of richard yates' work. "revolutionary road" has been sitting on my bookshelf for a couple of years now. i bought it after watching the film. tried to read it once but couldn't get into it. (ps found "revolutionary road" for $1 at the samo friends' of the library bookstore. so support that too.)

"richard yates" is about the relationship between a teenage girl, dakota fanning (but not the dakota fanning) and her twenty-two year old boyfriend haley joel osment (but not the haley joel osment). i am not fond of either of their acting but found their name usage clever. while reading my mind once again did as it pleased versus believing my eyes. instead of haley joel osment, who i could only visualize as an 8 year old that sees dead people, i visualized elijah wood but as his character in "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" kinda needy and creepy but sappily in love. which i feel made for a better read. i did see dakota fanning as dakota fanning but as a grown up version of herself from that doll photo she did as a kid:

so the novel is pretty much the story of their relationship. they met on the internet which kinda creeped me out but only cos dakota fanning is still in high school. i have always been grossed out by guys in their early twenties that date high school girls, even when i was a high school girl. their story is told through texts, gmail chat, and in person convos (it's a long distance relationship, she is in jersey and he in nyc). they also had to hide their relationship from her mother because of his age but her mom is eventually cool with it, which is odd.  (or maybe i just had strict parent/relatives).  they are both self-loathing and depressed. joel osment becomes abusive and controlling which leads to her lying and with an eating disorder.  i always find it so odd how men who date younger girls become controlling but then again they are dating young girls, not exactly the greatest self esteem to begin with. they also deal with being poor, dakota fanning eventually steals clothes from american apparel and sells them on ebay, clever, especially since american apparel is so overpriced yet kids somehow afford it. there was also a pregnancy scare in there somewhere and i was glad that child didn't happen. it all reads like some bad mtv soap opera, the east coast version of the hills. and though i have never read his works, i am assuming are an updated version of yates' works? his works were about relationships that become unhealthy? (see: revolutionary road, the movie version).

so in my google searching, i noticed that tao lin is always cited as being the voice of my generation. and at first i thought to myself "seriously? are we that whiny of a generation?" and after some more thought i realized yes. we are. throughout the novel, haley joel and dakota are constantly saying "i want to kill myself". which i found annoying. but after a glance at my twitter realized "hey, i am guilty of that shit too." i am constantly saying "omg, i am going to slit my wrist" and "fml" (which is like a motto of my generation.) so i guess tao lin is the voice of my generation. and maybe i couldn't see because his work is so accurate that i am in denial of my generation being that sad.

quotations:

"i think obese people are assholes, they take up more room." 

(if you think this quote is mean that you have never sat next to a fat person on a bus, a plane, a movie theater or at the hollywood bowl.  like seriously it is extremely unextremely unfair that your roll of fat crossed over to my seat.  get your fat in line!)