breaking down part 2. movie version.

WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!! (you have been warned so save your bitching.)

(yes, hell did freeze over and i saw a twilight movie at a movie theater!)

i debated about blogging about this movie but figured:

a) it is based on a book and i did blog about "the perks of being a wallflower"
b) with the movie versions of "life of pi", "les miserables", "anna karenina" and "on the road" coming out, i should start the trend of blogging about movies based on books
c) it was a PDC dance moms book club event (though we didn't read the book)

i have never been interested in the "twilight" series, books or movies. my grandma said it was a bunch of teenage fluff and no offense but not interested in reading about a love triangle consisting of a girl, a vampire and a werewolf and their teen angst and sexual frustration. so never read the books. i did see part of the first movie, but had no desire to watch the movies. the movie franchise got too out of control for me to get on the bandwagon. i can admit that robert pattinson is hot, pasty and tall, swoon. i think taylor looks prepubescent so feel like a pervert when i look at him. yes, abs are hot but not on a 12 year old. and seriously kristen stewart???! ever since i saw her first vmas appearance, i can not stomach her. she is not an actress, girl is not acting. she is that weird and awkward in real life and luckily finds roles in which she has to be the weird and awkward girl. (for the record, yes i am sad that she is "on the road".)

however, i decided to break my no-twilight-rule when the PDC dance moms book club decided to see "breaking drawn part 2". i could be a team player plus i owed robert pattinson one for drunkenly harassing him at an adele concert, for this photo:

as much as it pains me to admit this, it wasn't that bad. it was actually entertaining. i enjoyed how they gathered up the different vampires from all over the world. i found it interesting how some of the vampires had special powers, even the evil ones. and that british vampire was dreamy and eye candy always makes everything better.

but here is my laundry list of what i did not enjoy:

-the "war" being a premonition. what a cop out! i got caught up in the battle, i was sad when carlisle died, and cheered when the bad guys died (btw, loved dakota fanning as a villain). and instead of rejoicing when it turned out that it didn't happen, i was disappointed. it was like meyer didn't have the balls to have a real battle. in harry potter, we (yes, we, i loved this series) lost so many amazing people in the battle against evil: sirius, remus, tonks, dumbledore, dobby!!! because guess what, life is unpredictable and unfair and sometimes we lose the ones we love so that good can prevails over evil. furthermore, the kid seemed to be okay with dying. they should have given her up. i mean harry potter sacrificed himself and that aspect is what made that story so powerful. i think the just-kidding-it-was-all-a-dream-ending prevented "breaking dawn" from being great. it lost its heart. instead it was a lame hollywood ending where everyone lives happily ever after.

-in regards to this happily ever after ending, everything cleaned up waaaaay too nicely. seriously jacob and their kid ending up together?!?!? that was gross and the story should not have gone there. in what universe would this be okay?!?! what about an ending showing jacob okay with being single the rest of his life and hooking up with chicks for all of eternity? wouldn't that be more realistic for a werewolf in a vampire movie? lol

-the sex scene 30 minutes into he movie?!?!? i could have lived without watching them christian their house. and the talk about, "wow you were holding back" and "how will we stop ourselves from going at it all the time". seriously, spoken like someone who has been sexually repressed their entire life. (see: meyer is mormon. this sounds harsh but i was raised mormon, i know). people having sex when they want and for as long as they want?!?! these concepts are neither ground-breaking or revolutionary, in real life or the vampire genre. i think twilight's original message of abstinence is important for teens but it does send the wrong message that once married, the lead character turns into a sex fiend. bella was first the virgin temptress and then the horny sex addict. women should not be restricted to only two sexualities the virgin or the whore. we can have healthy sexual appetities without feigning innocent or craziness. we should try to break the virgin/slut whore versus reinforce it!

-instead of abstinence, safe sex needed to be discussed. if half-breeds could potentially pose danger to the world, shouldn't they have been more careful in terms of birth control?!?! edward should have wrapped it up or bella should have been on the pill. just because you are married doesn't mean you are ready to have kids or that you should have them, so you should still take precautions. again another indication of their sexual immaturity.

-lastly, how did the writers let that loch ness monster line remain in the movie?!?!??

so those are my complaints and oddly enough i might read the series but that is just so i can have proof for my avoidance of this series instead of just my snobbiness.

eat pray love. the movie version.

as part of our first official meeting of the "pdc dance moms book club", we decided to watch the film "eat pray love" becauser we read the book.  i don't know if it's hollywood or just the way life goes but most of my book club meetings are viewings of movie versions of the books we read.  so i checked it out from the library for us to watch.

if you read my post on the book, you know that i avoided the movie when it was in theaters because it knew it would give me the traveling bug.  i also avoided it because i absolutely love "dog days are over" by florence and the machine and was worried the movie would ruin my love for it because it was in the trailer.  (surprisingly it was not in the film.)

if you read, you would also know that i didn't care for the book.  and not surprisingly, i didn't really care for the movie.  i mean i will always love julia roberts (but i mean she was a little too old for this role, gilbert was supposed to be in her early thirties) and all the men in the movie were hot (more on this later), but it was still kinda whatever.  the only thing that i did enjoy was the forgiveness/wedding flashback scene with julia and billy crudup (by the way when did he get so gross?  he is not the golden god from "almost famous".)  i was worried that that scene was going to be melodramatic especially since there was that emotional but i saw as awkward scene about richard from texas' alcoholism.  i loved richard from texas in the book, and in the movie, but that scene was too much.  i mean they could have set up that scene using the book version (and thus real-life version) and it would have been fine.  but i thought it was very tender that they got their "real" first dance.  it was sweet and sentimental.  and not at all cheesy . . . in my opinion.

i also did not agree with some of the actors/actresses picked. i mean all of the men were hot and gorgeous.  james franco, swoon!  i would have been a basketcase in india for him!  and giovanni, double swoon!  and so enjoyed that.  but thought wayan was a little oldish and not as pretty as i imagined her in my head as i read.  also the swedish guy was not drool worthy enough, i mean swedes are hot!

all in all, the film was ho hum.  i mean the india part bored me, just like it did in the book.  she also annoyed me too, just like in the book.  i guess i kinda had high hopes, julia roberts!  plus ryan murphy directed and adapted the screenplay.  i mean everything he makes is amazing.  but his magic was missing from this, maybe it was because of elizabeth gilbert's lameness.  i'm not sure who to blame.  but all in all, if you haven't seen it, don't stress out about life, just wait til tbs starts airing it every weekend.

eat pray love. elizabeth gilbert.

i had no desire to read this book when it first came out. i also had no desire to see the movie. i knew that i wouldn't enjoy it because a) i would be jealous the whole time and b) i would be super sad that i was not traveling. but when two PDC dance moms (cassie and colleen) and i decided to start a dance moms book club, we copied colleen's friend's book club and started with "eat pray love." but i was right, i was jealous but was more inspired than sad when it came to the traveling.

i hate to admit this, especially since her book was inspiring travel-wide, i thought elizabeth gilbert was annoying and a horrible person. at the risk of sounding like a bitch, i understood why she had some many problems, she was neurotic. when i first started reading i couldn't take her seriously, with her bathroom crying and notebook writing to herself. maybe she it was all hyperbole for the book but it was a bit overdramatic. and i know she addressed this but i am always very skeptical of people who turned to god only in a time of need, i mean he is there when good things happen too. (and please know i am guilty of this too and always feel silly due to it.) and i get it, life is hard but deal with it, just don't throw yourself a pity party. i hate to be insensitive and i understand that depression is a disease but gilbert didn't appear to be pro-active about getting herself better but simply wanted to wallow in her self pity. and i know that this book was about her change, kudos to her. but it felt like her prior life was filled with #whitegirlproblems and #firstworldproblems. and again i know that not all people have grandiose and serious challenges in life and that a challenge is a challenge but her complaints of life were not equivalent to her actual challenges. i could not stomach her whining. okay you are getting a divorce, you don't want to have kids like you thought you did and you suffer from depression, these things are survivable. all gilbert was going through was her return of saturn, the point in everyone's life where they re-evaluate their lives and values, it is not the end of the world. in retrospect it had to be hammed up for the book, because anyone good friend would have given her a good swift kick in the ass and told her to get over herself.

i feel like a mean girl for being so judgmental but gilbert was extremely selfish, and the proof is all in the india portion. when she explained that the ashram had an application process my first thought was how the hell did they let you in. seriously thought how did she get in? with a history of mental illness and just going though a divorce? i knew she was going to be a negative energy and i was right. and i understand that the point of the ashram is to challenge yourself to center yourself but she didn't seem ready for that challenge. the girl was still mopping over david (don't get me started on that relationship) and had not come to terms with her divorce. and i understand about personal growth but i was scared that her negative energy would interfere with the growth of others. thought it seemed that her neediness presented opportunities for other to aid which helped with their personal growth but even then it felt like people were stating the obvious to her. i took a history of religion course in college so i was familiar with most of the concepts she explained. and so when richard (who i adored) explained things to her i thought to myself, seriously this is like hinduism 101 and how did they let you (gilbert) in?!?!?

i think the incident that epitomized her selfishness was the gurugita. i was appalled by her writings about it. she is in india and the whole point of her trip is personal growth and change and she is going to bitch about a prayer?!?!? being righteous in any religion is a challenge. god didn't make things easy for humans, he wants them to work for their salvation. his demands are simple which leads many to think they are easy but that is not the case. and her inability to see this still left me questioning how the hell do you get in?!?! again hope it was hyperbole for the book, she could not have been that clueless.

sorry that was a really a mean rant but but i could not handle her. but that aside, i did love reading about the people that she met on her journey. i sincerely enjoyed them and enjoyed her tales with them. she met some amazing people.

i was also seriously inspired to travel. ask my sister she received a number of texts asking her to go places. i want to go to italy and eat! and of course to rome to see the foundations. and my bucket list now includes getting pizza from that place in naples. i was also inspired to learn italian, so i requested a book from the library.

i also want to go to bail to have ketut liyer read my palm. (i googled it and you can get a session with him for $28!) this is a possibility because my family is looking to go to singapore next year and if it happens i am going to fly over to bali too. so in the end this book was inspiration and may ultimately lead me on a new path if i get my palm read. lol

and i will say that i did value this book for all of its theological thought. i was raised mormon but after taking that college course, i had a fondness of eastern religion due to the emphasis on balance versus goodness. and i have always had this theory that in christianity, god and satan are one, for if god is all knowing and all powerful that means he must also know all that in terms of "evil" which would therefore make him satan. god is like a beast with two heads. and so when ketut shared his beliefs of heaven and hell it made sense. and this made sound odd but i am not one for religion personally, however i have always had a deep appreciation of the rituals and theories of religions. i love learning about religions but from an anthropological or historical viewpoint. i am also tolerant of all religions (except for fundamentalists) and have take on a viewpoint from the novel "what dreams may come" by richard matheson which accepts all religions as true. in the novel, it is realized that your faith calls into existence the afterlife you end up with, so the christian gets heaven, the buddhist gets nirvana, even the viking get valhalla. at the end of the day, what's important in life is one's faith and not what is true. as seen in "eat pray love" it's about finding what works best for you personally so that you can be the best version of you.

so in the end, this book did inspire me so i guess i would recommend it. just don't hold it against me when elizabeth gilbert annoys you.