flimsy little plastic miracles. ron currie jr. (98)

"flimsy little plastic miracles" is another book i came across via emma robert's instagram. the cover definitely enticed me with its books in a bookshelf. it's actually quite clever because the titles used for the books on the cover are reference to events, people, and themes in the story. the author also used one book to namedrop his debut which was a nice spin on "author of". i also noticed there was a book on the bottom shelf that reminded me of "a million little pieces" which i think was a sly reference given the premise of the novel.

"flimsy little plastic miracles" is a novel within a novel. one needs to get into a charlie kaufman frame of mind for a reading. so the book is a book written by ron currie jr. (which is also the name of the author) and his supposed to be the truth about his faked suicide. confused? you should be. another similarity between the author and hid character is that both their father are dead.

so what happens is that the author in the story, ron currie jr., tried to commit suicide and survived but decided to fake his death. the book that he was working on was published and out of nowhere the book becomes a huge success (partially due to his suicide letter going viral). due to it's success, it was then turned into a movie. (btw: i would have never read that book, you know me and the media hype.) then of course it is discovered he is alive. so he writes the book that we are reading "flimsy little plastic miracles" to come clean.

(this is why i noticed the cover that looked like "a million little pieces" because the author of that book, james frey, turned out to be a liar. his book was supposed to be memoir but it was discovered that he made most of it up. and it was an oprah book so the alot of the public was tricked. i picked it up for $1 but then heard it was a lie so never read it. but imagine the backlash especially from mama oprah!)

so this whole book within a book got me googling but the real ron currie jr. never faked his death. so the book was not true in that sense. but it doesn't mean that it wasn't capital T truth in general. all novels has to have a bit of the author's real life in it and contain some capital T truth because if not people would not be able to relate to characters.

currie addresses this opposite the title page. he starred "true" in true story:

it is true though all novels are based on real events. inspiration has to come from somewhere.

he also has a clever blurb about epigraphs. i personally love them but they have become cliché. in high school, one of my favorite books "girl" by blake nelson quoted "breaking the girl" by the red hot chili peppers. once i read that i knew i would love it and i did. so i started trusting epigraphs. one of my recent favorites is the sandra cisneros quote that junot diaz used in "this is how you lose her". but yeah epigraphs are great if used correctly.

another thing that i loved about this book was the format. there were no chapters. instead each time a new idea or story was presented a new page was started. so some pages were only a paragraph.

the story bounces back and forth between four topics: currie's side of his story, the love of his life, emma (who is also the reason he got caught up in his mess), his dealings with his father's death and singularity (when machines take over because they are more perfect than us).

i don't want to give too much but will
say that ron currie jr. in the story was a coward when it came to love but once he was caught reacted with heart and did the right thing. there was one occurrence in the story that broke my heart. i had no idea that it was going to happen. it made me sad because it shouldn't have happened to that character.

i also have to add that i was weirded out by ron and emma's love. not the violent aspect of it but the fact that they first met when they were in jr. high. i am skeptical when people fall in love so young.

last but not least, singularity was a topic discussed. but it's a future i hope that is never achieved. who wants perfection? life is life because of its mistakes. perfection would mean boredom while our errors and imperfections is what gives life it's color. as we see in "flimsy little plastic miracles", it's the errors in life that helps is grow as a person.

cover girl.

in sandra cisneros' "caramelo", i learned that rita hayworth was mexican!?!?! thanks to madonna, all i knew of hayworth was that she "gave good face". so i wikipedia-ed it and sadly discovered she isn't mexican, her father was spanish and her mother was irish-english. the mexican rumors started because she worked in mexico, according to this website . so sad that her mexicanness was a bust, however, while reading her wikipedia article, discovered she starred in a number of movies with fred astaire and one with gene kelly. this inspired me to check out "you were never lovelier" and "cover girl" from the library.

growing up, i watched a lot of musicals with grandma bea, especially gene kelly and fred astaire movies, however i don't recall rita hayworth being in any of them. i know grandma bea had me watch "cover girl" when i was little but i didn't remember hayworth or even the movie. as i watched "cover girl", bits and pieces started to come back to me. i remembered gene kelly's "alter ego" dance (though it could have been featured in one of those "that's entertainment" specials). and as much as this makes me sound like a lush, i remember her drunken part . . . i also remembered the oysters tradition. but other than that it was a "new" movie to me.

rita hayworth was lovely and entertaining. i had no idea she could sing and dance! she also had the most amazing costume and outfits. that is one thing that i hate/love about old movies, the fashion! i love it all but am sad that i can't find it at the mall or in a boutique. though i will be on the lookout for a coat like this at my local goodwill:

it was also great to see how things have come back around. in the broadway number, cover girls are featured on different magazines and i was surprised there were so many flower headpieces that would have been right at home at coachella. there was also a huge brimmed hat (think samantha in "sex and the city: the movie") that i would give my left kidney for.

but back to the movie. so a quick synopsis, hayworth played a dancer named rusty that worked a club owned by (she was also his girlfriend). she entered a magazine contest to be a cover girl and won because she looked like the long-lost lover of the magazine owner (turned out he was in love with rusty's grandmother). so after the contest, rusty gets bigger and better opportunity and sadly leaves gene kelly. i would tell you what happens but you should check it out for yourself. the ending is very cute.

i will say that i for one would never leave gene kelly. maybe it's because i have grown up watching him as a leading man but he is like the ideal man (he might be the reason why i have a thing for boys with brown hair over blondes). he can sing, he can dance, and when his character is in love, gets a look on his face like there is no other girl in the world for him but her! swoon!!! he is so dreamy and i fall in love with him every time i watch one of his movies. and of course the same goes for "cover girl", i would love to spend my nights with him, shucking oysters for pearls!

the whole time i was watching, i was bothered because rita hayworth reminded me of someone. in the end i decided it was geena davis in "a league of their own."

also the whole time i was watching i couldn't help thinking to myself how much phil silvers looked like
stephen colbert:

am i right or am i right?

but all in all, a very sweet film and if you have't seen it, you should!

ps this DVD was available thanks to measure b!

have you seen marie? sandra cisneros. (75)

i discovered that cisneros had written a new book at her talk but was waiting to finish "war & peace" before i put in a request. the other day while picking up tickets to see barry manilow at the rabobank arena. i convinced my mom, that we should check out the beale library. and since i stumbled upon "have you seen marie?", i decided to check it out.

i didn't know much about it. but it was not as i expected. it is short book and has illustrations. (i would find out later that cisneros intended on the book being an children's book for adults, which explains the illustrations). the book opened with marie running away. this scared me because i imagined marie as a young girl, but it turned out marie was a cat. if you know me and pets, i would not worry about a missing cat.

in fact, i didn't enjoy this book at all. it read like a bad parody of the p.d. eastman classic, "are you my mother?". i understood what cisneros was trying to do, her story was about loss and how everyone suffers from some sort of loss. the narrator's mother had just passed away and the story demonstrated how even though she is suffering from it, others are suffering too from loss of family members or sight or memories. however, the book did not remind me of the children books of my youth nor did it arouse in me a sentiment of love or sadness. it felt too forced, the book was trying too hard to be something it was not.

i wasn't a fan of the illustrations either, there were only two drawings i enjoyed.

in this part of the story, the river explained to the narrator how it would take her tears and carry them along all the rivers in the world and that everything mix together.

i also loved his drawing.

in this passage, her mother's spirit whispers to the narrator via the wind, the clouds and that stars her mother is with her.

these examples are the best part of the actual story. the heart and soul of this book and what makes it great is the afterword.

in the afterword, cisneros shares with the reader the backstory for this book and after reading that i had a deeper respect for the book. it should be a foreword instead of an afterward because it helps contextualize the story. the story, the reader discovers, is a true story. the cat did go missing and the story is about their search. the neighbors are really her neighbors, which i found cool, imagine being immortalized in a cisneros book. and knowing that it was based on life made the story more interesting.

in the afterward, the reader also learns that cisneros lost her mother and wrote this to deal with the grieving.

she wrote:

"in the spring after my mother died, a doctor wanted to prescribe pills for depression. "but if i don't feel," i said, "how will i be able to write?" i need to be able to feel things deeply, good or bad, and wade through an emotion to the other shore, toward my rebirth. i knew if i put off moving through the grief, the wandering between worlds would only take longer. even sadness has its place in the universe.

i wish someone has told me that death allows you the chance to experience the world soulfully, that the heart is open like the aperture of a camera, taking in everything, painful as well as joyous, sensitive as the skin of water.

[ . . . ]

i wish somebody had told me love does not die, that we can continue to receive and give love after death. this news is so astonishing to me even now, i wonder why it isn't flashed across the bottom of the television screen on CNN."

i appreciated how cisneros discussed how it is okay to be sad. i enjoy being sad because it makes me feel human. i think it's healthy to be sad, we should not feel this constant pressure to be happy. sadness is as valid an emotion as any of them.

i also loved the last paragraph i quoted. it is true, we do need to talk more about how love does not die and that it continues on. and it's true, when i talk about my grandma jimmy, my heart does fill with joy because his love still exist in the world even though he may not.

so how with that passage can i say that story was bad. because cisneros was unable to capture the beauty of her afterword in the story. i would almost recommend to those that pic up to not even bother with the story and just read the afterword. or make the afterword a foreword.

i believe that the way cisneros discusses death in the afterword is what makes a worthy book. it is sweet and thoughtful and i can imagine it providing comfort to anyone who has lost a parent or loved one.

caramelo. sandra cisneros.

since i planned on attending sandra cisneros' talk at csub, i figured i should read more than just one book so i picked up her second novel "caramelo" (and for a dollar!). though i did not finish it before her talk, it helped me understand her talk and life a little more.

to be perfectly honest, i didn't like "caramelo" at first. i kept thinking to myself, this is no "house on mango street" but i realized it shouldn't be. that is always the challenge with the sophomore novel (and also the sophomore album for bands). i once read an article about the yeah yeah yeah's sophomore album in rolling stone, which discussed the challenge of the sophomore album, especially when the first is a huge success. the audience wants the band to replicate their first work but then it can't sound completely the same or they will be upset by that as well. i think it's the same with books, the sophomore novel needs to replicate the first but not be the same. and to me it felt that cisneros at first was trying to replicate "the house on mango street" but then it transform into something completely different but still very cisneros.

i always think of "house on mango street" as a collection of poems however i would describe "caramelo" as an epic. this is cisneros' "one hundred years of solitude" (which i was reminded of as i read, in addition to being one of my favorite books of all time).  "caramelo" is the tale of three generations of the reyes family, grounded in cisneros' actual family history with a hint of mythical magic like garcia marquez' work.  as i discovered at her talk, cisneros' life served as the basis for this novel, she grew up in chicago, the youngest of seven brothers and her father was a upholsterer, just like celaya in the novel.  but like her wig analogy, the novel is real life stories mixed in with fiction so it is non-fictional fiction or fictional non-fiction.

i guess it is the historian in me but i love sagas.  i always have.  i hate to admit this but as a tween (though this term was not invented back then) my favorite sweet valley high books were the sagas because i loved discovering the family histories.  i loved seeing the sequence of events that caused life to follow a certain path; how moment a lead to moment b which explains how c ever came into occurrence.  and this is what i loved about "caramelo", reading how the stars aligned to form the life that celaya led.   for me, "carmaelo" did not become an interesting read until we traveled back into time to learn her families' history so we could understand celaya as a person.  and that was the lesson of the novel, to understand oneself the best and who one is, s/he need to understand her/his ancestors.

 cisneros' emphasis on the importance of knowing the past is not limited to personal histories but extended to capital h-history.  my favorite part of the book was the historical tidbits that cisneros included.  her characters randomly interacted with important cultural figures.  thanks to her i learned about josephine baker*, maria sabina , senor wences, tongolele, and cri cri.  i also learned that some famous hollywood starlets were mexican (see:  rita hayworth).  another fact that surprised me was the story of emperor maximiliano and empress carlota, i didn't know that they were puppet monarchs nor did i know that bette davis played her in the movie.  i also finally discovered the title of the song "cielito lindo".  as i read the lyrics to "cielito lindo", i oddly knew the melody from years of hearing it growing up though  i never knew it was called "cielito lindo".  the tidbits were great because aside from being an entertaining novel, it was also educational.

the novel was also filled with cultural observations.  for example, how taquerias smell like pine-sol.   or introducing the updated version of the aged old question, which came first real life or the telenovla?  there were also sad and harsh observations like how chicanos treat mexicans who claim their spanish roots.  another sad observation is how the INS treats veterans like illegal immigrants especially when those individuals gained their citizenships by serving in a war.  and lastly how mexican mothers can be overbearing and strict but that is really because they are lonely.  there was a handful of times i had ah-ha moments because cisneros shed light on mexican and mexican-american cultures or explanation to certain stereotypes.

in addition to sharing truths, "caramelo" was filled with cisneros' poetic flair, which i have come to love. my favorite were:

"a person of independence, who does not need nor want us, inspires our admiration, and admiration is love portion.  a person who needs us too much, who is weak with neediness, inspires pity.  and pity, the other side of admiration, is antidote to love."

" a dream is a poem the body writes.  even if we lie to ourselves in the day, the body is compelled to speak its truth at night."

"for a long time after, i'd just burst into tears, if anyone even touched me. [ . . .] anybody touched me, by accident or on purpose, i cried.  i was like a piece of bread sopped with gravy.  so when something squeezed me, i started to cry and couldn't stop.  have you ever been that sad?  like a donut dunked in coffee?  like a book left in the rain."

lastly, two of my favorite images included food; feet as tamales and mentions of clean towels that fresh tortillas are kept in.  both of which all made me extremely hungry every time i read about them.  also does anyone know where i can get a tamal sandwich?!?!?!

imagery aside, the most important aspect of "caramelo" is that it shares an experience that is not always told. during my last year at ucla, i took a seminar about the american immigrant experience and we read autobiographies. the class focused on autobiographies not only as a counter to the dominant history (or white male american history) but stories that need to be integrated into the dominant history so that it can be complete. america is not america without the immigrant experience. furthermore, since so much land of present america was once a part of mexico and with mexicans going back and forth across the border; the american experience would be incomplete without the mexican/mexican-american experience being told. and though things can be labelled as a specific racial, cultural or religious experience, at the heart of it all, it is simply a human experience. this is true of "caramelo", it can not be reduce to just mexican lit, chicano it or womens lit because it holds a valuable lesson for everyone regardless of how one labels oneself. that lesson being the importance of everyone knowing their family history and roots. though "caramelo" was filled with a very specific cultural experience, it still possessed universal truths.

like cisneros i will add una pilón.

i loved this part because it reminded me of my grandmother, not so much because we have had the same conversation.  but because my grandma bea, like ceyala's little grandmother, keeps it real.

when discussing her running away with ernesto, ceyala explained:

"-but i saw god when we made love."

to which the little grandmother responded:

"-of course you did.  you think that's a miracle?  smell a flower and you'll see god too.  god's everywhere. and yes, he's in the act of love too.  and so?  that boy's not the only one who can love you like that.  there'll be others, there ought to others, you must have others."

*josephine baker is amazing.  i googled her and read her wikipedia entry (click and read it!).  and she is simply amazing.  she started off dancing on the streets then became this international sensation.  then became an international spy during world war II!!!! and was the first angelina jolie and adopted 12 children from different racial/national background.  amazing right?!?!?

the house on mango street. sandra cisneros.

the kern county library has a program called one book in which i am assuming the community reads one book and there are a bunch of related events. in celebration of national hispanic month, sandra cisneros' "the house on mango street" was chosen as the one book for september-november. and even more exciting cisneros is giving a talk for the program! when i found out about the talk i decided to reread "the house on mango street" in preparation if i attend the talk.

i think i read "the house on mango street" in high school. it was assigned and i actually read it. (it is short). but i bought a copy after i read in then. i actually read my own og one versus checking it out, though i did notice that the library had new copies due to the one book program. (random: i recently came across another copy with a different cover at a $1 bookstore and purchased that one because i sadly do judge books by their covers.)

i remember loving this book in high school. the part that stuck with me all these years is when the discussion of her name "esperanza". i loved the metaphor of her name as silver chewing gum wrapper because its hard to pronounce. the actual line goes:

"at school they say my name funny as if the syllables were made out of tin and hurt the roof of your mouth."

i remember being so impressed with her imagery. i have difficulty pronouncing spanish names and words and it does feel like chewing tin. since i have a name that is always mispronounced, this part left such an impression on me.

this line also exemplifies what i love about cisneros, her poetic flair. cisneros really is a poet. each chapter reads like a poem instead of a short story. her book is filled with clever and beautiful imagery:

"our laughter for example. not the shy ice cream bells' giggle of rachel and lucy's family, but all of a sudden and surprised like a stack of dishes breaking."

"in english my name means hope. in spanish it means too many letters. it means sadness, it means waiting. it is like the number nine. a muddy color. it is the mexican records my father plays on sunday mornings when he is shaving, songs like sobbing

"you can fall asleep and wake up drunk on sky, and sky can keep you safe when you are sad."

her words really are lovely.

i also connected with this work, culturally. thanks to grandma bea i am 1/8 mexican but a very americanized one. a coconut. however thanks to growing up in delano, i am mexican culturally. people are always shocked that i can cumbia, know about the cucuy and eat elote. growing up in delano, you are inevitably mexican. and though i didn't grow up in the slums of delano, i understood how esperanza felt growing up. the insecurity of not having the right shoes at a family party, understanding the power of rubbing a egg when you have a fever and feeling safe in the dingy part of town. and though there were some things i do not know first hand, i can empathize because i know someone who has. (well maybe not the sexual abuse part.)

the part that had a bigger impact on me now than in high school was the chapter "papa who wakes up tired in the dark". the reason for the change is that my grandpa jimmy passed away in the time between my two readings. in this chapter, her papa told her that her grandfather passed away and she saw for the first time her father vulnerable and sad. this reminded me of how at my grandpa's funeral i was struck by the thought that though this was difficult for me, i could not imagine how my mom and aunts and uncles felt because that was their dad. and that it is sad to lose a grandparent, losing a father is greater lost. cisneros described it as:

"and i think if my own papa died what would i do. i think if my own papa died what would i do."

and i guess this is what i loved, is that she captured life. there is an openness and honesty in her work. it felt very autobiographical (all fiction is in some way or another). but she wrote about life and how it is not alway ideal but the human spirit perseveres.

(if you are in delano or bakersfield, pick up a copy. it's a short read. and check out her talk this thursday, 11.8.12 at csub.)