the improbable theory of ana & zak. brian katcher. (306)

i decided to check out the improbable theory of ana & zak, after seeing it

posted on epic read's instagram

post of books for geminis.  i started following epic reads after i got a free tote from them at bookcon.  anyway, this was the post:  

i decided to read the improbable theory of ana & zak because i liked the title.  i had no idea what the book was about but the title sounded cute.  and i guess you can judge a book by its title because this book was cute.

the back cover broke down the story for me perfectly:

i figured this would be like a geeky nick and norah's infinite playlist, well sci-fi geeky, since nick and norah were music geeky.

as epic reads shared, this work would appeal to my dual nature and it did! the book flips back and forth between ana and zak's perspectives.  ana was this overachiever, do anything for college applications girl (totally me!), and zak was this slacker, sci-fi, convention-attending boy.  their paths crossed when zak, to make up for plagiarizing a report, joined the quiz bowl team that ana spearheaded, she was the unofficial captain of the team.  they get off to a rocky start when at the tournament, zak took ana's place for one round, this totally pissed her off.

the weekend of the tournament, sadly conflicted with washingcon, a convention that zak attended every year.  however, both are in seattle and miles apart. zak was disappointed but graduating was more important.  with the con being so close to the tournament, he did considered going.  however, he and ana end up at the convention when clayton, ana's little brother, took off to the convention after listening to zak's stories.

having never been to comic-con, but having attend hello kitty con and book con, i could imagine the chaos of washingcon. though reading this made me wish i had attended a comic-con.  

ana and zak went on a wild goose chase looking for clayton to avoid getting in trouble with ana's parents.  ana was super uptight and as it was revealed, because her parents kicked her older sister out because she got pregnant in high school.  this caused ana to stress about being perfect.  though she was annoyed with zak at first, she started to see that zak was a great and helpful guy.  

i totally would have had a crush on zak in real life, though the goatee would have to go! that goatee was the only thing that ruined my book crushing on him.  i hope ana got him to shave it.  zak was this sweet and easy going guy, friendly to all.  though his life wasn't perfect, it was revealed, his dad died of cancer, and he didn't get along with his stepdad.  however, his issues didn't effect how he treated ana, unlike how she treated him.  her meaness at the beginning is even more upsetting given how zak kept on getting beat up, thanks to ana.

since the setting is a con, a bunch of craziness happened, a vampire ball, a run-in with a strawberry shortcake cosplay player (is that right?), a battle, and like i mentioned, some fights. there was this weird twist, when zak found a bag of cocaine.  he was held hostage with a gun, this felt too extreme for me.  but the same thing happen on an episode of a different world, so i guess it could happen? i personally would have liked to have seen that part edited out because it felt too ridiculous to me.  it just seemed unrealistic, and excessive.

in the end, zak and ana of course, fell in love.  they found clayton, survived the drug dealer, and made it the tournament. i have to add i was anticipating that monte cristo question in the final round. the novel, being ya, cleaned up nicely, in the end, zak and his stepdad got along and ana finally stood up to her mom.

a cute book that i could totally see being turned into a movie.  however, i am too old to know who plays teens now, so can't give a dream cast. this was an enjoyable read and if teen me had read it, i would have totally gone to comic con because of it.  adult me might make it happen.

32 candles. ernessa t. carter. (302)

i decided to read 32 candles after reading about it on a book riot post.  the description shared that it was about girl who wanted a molly ringwald kind of life, after watching 16 candles.  any girl growing up in the 80s/90s wanted to be her, including me.  though after watching the breakfast club, i wanted to be ally sheedy.  but before the makeover, i hated that they changed her into that square looking girl!  but back to the novel, the mention of molly ringwald made this a to-be-read book for me.

i have to start by saying that though enjoyable, it was not what i expected.  in fact, i had anticipated a sort of #whitegirlsproblems, but davidia had some serious issues, plus she was black.    davidia grew up in an abusive home.  her mother was an alcoholic and a hoe (for lack of a better word), men came in and out of their home and sometimes paid her for sex.  as a child, davida found comfort in pretending she was tina turner, but when her mother caught her, she beat her, and davidia stopped talking.  some heavy stuff, i know.

so davidia was an outsider, nicknamed midnight monkey because she was dark and ugly.  though her ugliness may have stemmed from people knowing what her mom did.  i kinda imagined her as precious, which was unfair because she wasn't that big.  due to her outsider status, she identified with molly ringwald and felt her life mirroed 16 candles, especially after she fell for the hot rich new guy, james farrell, who was her very own andrew mccarthy.  davidia stalked him which i thought was creepy and sad.  even though davidia didn't talk, she was very bright, she saw college as the means to get away from her mother and out of her hell of a life.  however, her intelligence made her target of prank after her crush's sister, veronica started to pick on her out of jealousy over test scores.  quick interjection, it seemed really sad that veronica decided to pick on davidia, i mean that girl is that insecurity that she picked on someone so low on the totem pole.  oh and i guess the fact that davidia's mom was sleeping with the farrell's dad added fuel to the fire.  anyway, everything comes to head when veronica invites davidia to party, in which davidia brought a prom dress, having never been to a party before and became the laughing stock of the school.  davidia then ran away that night.

she ended up in hollywood and surprisingly became a jazz singer!  she becomes a new person, davie jones.  only to meet up with her crush, james farrell again. only this time he wants to date her and has no recollection of her from his past.  so the whole time i was reading about james pursuing her, i was like why is girl holding on to high school like she was.  i mean it was a traumatizing experience, but she was a new person.  it seemed kinda sad that she was still so hung up on things that had happen in high school. however, as the reader discovered she is a little cray cray.

so davidia, that the reader had pitied the whole time, turned out to be bat shit crazy.  i won't reveal too much, mainly cos i don't want to type it all out.  but just know girl messed with people's life.  however, in the end, she gets her molly ringwalk ending, which i loved.

all in all, the book was okay.  i mean not something that i absolutely loved, but it was enjoyable.  i have to add that i loved that it took place in LA, so i knew what they were talking about.  i also have two places to go eat, that sushi place that was mentioned and house of pies.  i mean this is a good summer beach read, but i mean only pick it up if you have nothing else to read on the beach.

the misadventures of awkward black girl. issa rae. (267)

my best friend, tiffany, introduced me to the webseries, the misadventures of awkward black girl.  whenever i stayed at her apt, there was always a mini marathon until we finished this season.  since there was never a follow up to the second season, awkward black girl

feel off my radar until i saw that issa rae came out with a book.  and of course, i had to check it out from the library!!! (i am hoping to purchase a copy to get signed at the festival of books.)

about 8 pages in, i texted tiffany to tell her that if issa rae went to school with us, we would totally have been BFFs with her.  the first chapter, "a/s/l", took me back to our aol days.  tiffany was the first of our friends to have a computer and internet and so she introduced christy may and i to instant messenger.  i remember going over to her house after school and chatting with random people.  there was one program that allowed you to use avatar and i remember we spent one afternoon trying to convince people we were trapped in a penguin's body (we had chosen the penguin avatar.) and like issa rae, i would go out trolling for guys to talk to.  of course, i knew the dangers of online predators and when older guys would ask about my age, i would be honest and then tell them how inappropriate it was for them to talk to

me like how when i was born there in the 5th grade or that when they graduated from high school, i was still in elementary school.  but like rae, i also did my fair share of sexting though it was online and i never masturbated while i did it, just typed back inappropriate.  though i did never catfish (or as rae explained back then we just called it lying) but did fall in love with boy once only to discover that his photo was really damon albarn from blur! i was too young to notice how professional the photos were.  but yeah, i am sure most people our age have similar stories but totally bonded with rae over this chapter.

in "fat", i totally identified with rae's body issues.  i have the same problem with food though i was never vegetarian.  i am also tempted to do that beyoncé cleanse though i know it's not healthy!  

in "leading lady", i realized just how much better we had it i. the 90s.  rae explained how television was so much more diverse with shows like the fresh prince of bel-air, living single, all-american girl, moesha, and family matters (to name a few that she listed, also i wish that netflix will bring back all-american girl.) and how reality tv ruined it all.  and how it's important for everyone to have an authentic reflection of themselves in media.  she also shared this great junot diaz quote to demonstrate her points:

seriously, the realest shit ever.

another chapter i enjoyed was "when you can't dance", in which rae had bragged about how she could dance but actually couldn't.  she studied videos (sean paul was big at the time) and then got crazy freaky at the party which covered the fact that she couldn't dance! lol.  i have good rhythm but would crazy on the dance floor for a good laugh! 

race is the focus of a handful of chapters. the topics include: how to identify different types of blacks, how to connect with blacks, and one on how to deal with hair.  i also loved reading about her decision to go bad.

rae also discussed her family.  her dad not being open and forthcoming as she would like.  she also shared about her parents divorce, how initially she blamed her mother only to discover that her father had cheated.  this caused a rife between her and her father which she and he worked through.  she also discussed family trips back to senegal, which sounded like a blast!

there was also an interesting chapter on black women and asian men dating!!  which totally reminded me of my friend tiffy.

but what makes this book great are all the little funny side comments she adds as she writes.  the same said to self comments that made awkward black girl so funny to watch.  

this book was a hilarious read and i look forward to reading and watching more from issa rae.  she has an HBO show in the works!!

eleanor & park. rainbow rowell (169)

adorable cover, right?  it looks like some cute save-the-date for some portlandia hipsters.  it just so darn cute with its ampersand made with headphones.  with all of this cuteness, i had to pick up with this book.  i had seen it on amazon and it was even a daily deal but i forgot to buy it, so ended up checking it out from the library, which turned out to be the right choice. although i loved the cover, i didn't absolutely love the book.

though in eleanor & park's defense, since it is a young adult novel, 16 year old me would have been all about it.  i think i mean, a clockwork orange was my favorite book at the time, though the notebook left me in tears, so maybe i would have believed in eleanor and park's love.

but i will admit that both 30 year old me and 16 year old me had a total book crush on park.  through he was kind of right about people not finding asians sexy, i do like me the halfbreeds and so i would have definitely found park's half korean/half irishness sexy.  and i love boys in eyeliner so that was really hot.  but my book crush is not based on lust, how sweet he was!  how he let eleanor read his comics over his shoulder on the bus, or how he saved up all his batteries for her to use, even how he found eleanor sexy in her gym clothes (seriously who can pull off sexy in gym clothes?!?). and he made her mixed tapes!!!! especially the one with love will tear us apart on repeat!!! so sweet!!! and while i loved park, i was not so sure about eleanor.

i was just as judgemental about eleanor as park's mom, why was he with that "weird white girl"?!?!?! eleanor didn't make sense to me.  i mean i understand that she was a good kid in a bad situation.  but i just did not get the attraction.  i mean her outfits didn't even seem cute in that alt-80's kind of way, i mean the ties and ribbons yes but not the golf shoes!  eleanor should have been fashioned after molly ringwald in pretty in pink (she was poor too and dressed eccentric).  i also personally could not get passed her personal hygiene,  i mean didn't park notice that she didn't brush her teeth or that her hair smelled like flea and tick soap?!?!? i mean these are things one would notice right?  i was grossed out by eleanor and i am not even that high maintenance.  

random digression but as i was readig was wondering if the author was eleanor and this was like an exteme version ofna high school romance.  when i looked at her pic on the backflap, i could see the resemblence between she and eleanor:

but looks aside, she didn't seem to bring anything to the plate.  i mean park was so sweet and eleanor was always negative nancy.  and i know i know she had a tough life but in my eyes she was not a diamond in the rough, just rough.  i mean the only good about her was what park brought to her, but then i i guess that is true love.  it makes you a better person.

and onto their love, i hate to be negative as always but some of their convos were too much for me.  all of their talk was sweet and romantic but put in the context of high schoolers made me roll my eyes. though i am sure teenage me would have been lapping it up.  and one last grievance, if they were so in love why did it take eleanor forever to write back to park? i mean he saved her life, how could you not find the means to write back?  

all in all, a sweet read.  not a must read but more like i have the time, this cover is cute, let me check it out kind of read.

ghost world. daniel clowes. (103)

i watched "ghost world" the movie when i was a high schooler and wanted to be all indie movie cool (okay i still want to be indie movie cool). but i remember not getting it. i remember finding it odd that scarlett jo was in it cos she was that "horse whisperer" girl so didn't take her to seriously. lol. also i knew it was based on some book but that was about it.

my opportunity to read the graphic novel (comic book) based on it came via flavorpill's 30 list (sorry i'm turning 30 in 1 month and two weeks so get used to this). but this should be read before you are twenty because beyond that is kinda its whatever. i mean if high school me read it, i would have loved it. but late twentysomething only liked it.

like the critics say it is a honest protrayal of teens on the verge of adulthood. i mean i would have wanted to hang out with enid and rebecca but high school me was definitely not cool enough to hang out with them. i was too school
spirit and preppy to be their friend though i wanted to be alt and indie, i did shop at hot topic in attempt to be. lol.

the novel did have its moments. i liked how enid and rebecca read the personal ads. (i love reading craigslist misconnection.) i enjoyed when they went to cavetown usa, who doesn't love big dinosaurs? i also enjoyed how enid used her SAT words. and of course every girl knows how shitty it is to fight with your BFF.

it was also funny. here were some of my favorite scenes:

sadly, if you have big boobs, your only options is slut.

seeing ugly couples always give me
hope that i will find someone, cos if ugly people can find each other than i will find someone.

loved that cat mask. in the movie too!

i hate oprah.

so like i said i liked it. and now i am
inspired to rewatch the movie. and also
have to add, scarlett jo did well in her role, as i read i realized how brillant she was.

harold and maude.

"harold and maude" has been on my to watch list for at least 10 years. i first heard about it from my friend leslie, it is her favorite movie. so when bill had charlie watch it in "the perks of being a wallflower", i decided i should finally watch it.

"harold and maude" is a love story but what makes it unique is that harold is in his early twenties and maude is a seventy-nine year old woman. the idea of them together grossed me out but it's only because i think of the sex involved. oddly the priest in the film shared my opinion. though i hope to be in my seventies and still getting my kicks, the idea of being a twentysomething and sleeping with some that old is gross. but i mean people love this film so i needed to get my mind out of the gutter.

due to its status as a cult classic, i wasn't sure what to expect and then seeing the drawing of harold hanging himself on the cover, i was all sorts of confused.

quick endorsement for the criterion collection edition. it comes with a booklet with interviews and the illustrations for it and the disc menu are adorable.

so harold hanging himself is actually how the movie opens. turns out harold is obsessed with suicide. he fakes his own suicides throughout the film. i find most offbeat protagonist quirks attractive however did not find this endearing at all. it was just creepy especially since his mom turned a blind eye to it. it is eventually revealed why he does it and within that context it makes sense so
he becomes less weird. but initially i was like what is wrong with this kid?

and i guess that is why i didn't enjoy this film. i didn't get the appeal of the characters, i wasn't attracted to harold or maude. if a love story is good, you will fall in love with both characters: tom/summer, celeste/jess (though both of these couples do not end up together). think of "sleepless in seattle" you love both hank and ryan's characters so you want them to be together, you root for their love. sadly, this did not happen for me, i did not fall completely in love with harold or maude.

i did think harold was cute, especially in his little 70's outfits, though the suits he wore for dates were horrid. also i dug the sound of voice. i actually found the pranks he played on his dates funny and would not have ran out screaming like the girls did. however the dealbreakers were definitely his mommy issues and his immaturity. at the dinner table he seemed more like a 12 year old than a twentysomething. i often couldn't gage his age which made him unattractive because he seemed like jailbait.

maude was a delightful character. i read the first part of the essay written by film critic, matt zoller seitz in dvd booklet and i got what she was supposed to embody, the counterculture ideals of the sixties but within the older generation versus the youth. i found her interesting with her smell machine, vagina sculpture (that was a vagina he sticks his head in right?), desire to free trees and her lust for life. i also appreciated her philosophies in life, understanding that we are a special individual and not all the same flower or part of a larger group of flowers. however, i hated the fact that she stole cars and her reckless driving. there was nothing cute or spunky about those two things. i mean i'm all for damning the man but you should still have respect for private property. i was disgusted by how she just took cars and this kinda ruined her for me. i mean steal government cars as a form of protest but not your neighbors. also cars can kill people so did not like the reckless driving. i could see how harold would fall for her but she was not my cup of tea.

and let me clairfy, i didn't support their love because of the age gap but rather because i didn't fall in love with them myself. in fact, i was disappointed with myself for being judgey earlier. people should be allowed to be with those that make them happy. it reminded me of the may-december romance in "dandelion wine" and how upset i was that others did not understand it, yet here i was being close-minded. and at the risk of like a lolita (cos that was not the case), i feel like i could have had my own "harold and maude" friendship with my high school english teacher, mr. brice. my senior year we bonded over mullets (i had an "i heart mullet" pin on my backpack and he used to have one, he showed me his id as proof), "a clockwork orange" (i tired to get him to have our class read it), and my civil disobedience (he gave me a pep talk about doing what you believe in, when i called into the office for trying to stage a student protest). he also wore vans. he was totally my maude down to the bohemian-counterculture-free spirit though i prolly wasn't his harold. lol

even with all this, i was not crazy about the film. maybe i need to give it another watch. i know it was a black comedy and i got the humor, but still no sparks. i do understand why bill had charlie watch it. maude does share some very valuable gems about life with harold:

"vice, virtue. it's best not to be too moral. you cheat yourself out of too much life. aim above morality. if you apply that to life, then you're bound to live life fully."

"harold, everyone has the right to make an ass out of themselves. you just can't let the world judge you too much."

"a lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. they're just backing away from life. reach out. take a chance. get hurt even. but play as well as you can. go team, go! give me an L. give me an I. give me a V. give me an E. L-I-V-E. LIVE! otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker room."

i think these are important life lessons for everyone. but i guess i watched this too late in life. these thoughts aren't new to me though they are important. i should have watched it my first year of college when leslie first mentioned it. i mean i understand why it is great and it is, and it deserve all the praise it received and more, it just didn't blow my mind.

ps also without giving any spoilers. i did love the ending in terms of maude. she did live life to the fullest!!!

pss oh and damn you at&t for ruining the cat steven's song that harold and maude sing in the movie! and way to go cat steven's on the soundtrack!

psss the night that i watched this totally dreamt that i was dating an old man, not just older but old. lol

the perks of being a wallflower. stephen chobsky. (81)

"the perks of being a wallflower" has been on my to reread list ever since i saw the movie. i have been hunting for my copy from high school (well not too seriously, i think it's in storage) so that i could read it for nostalgic reasons. however, i recommended allison (one of my adventure day kids, i take a couple of kids from the dance studio to the library on tuesdays) check it out. and since she is in a middle of a book, i borrowed it so i could reread it. right now i am in the middle of "les miserables" but took a break to read this. it took me 6 hours to read.

like i gushed in the blog post about the movie, i absolutely love love love love love this book. for proof check out that post.

even though i read it a handful of times in high school, i forgot a lot of things. i forgot about charlie's friend michael's suicide, sam's molestation as a child, his sister's pregnancy, and charlie and sam's talk on her last night. furthermore, i realized that the movie really did do the book justice. paul rudd made an excellent bill, i seriously have a huge book crush on bill. i also plan on reading the books and watching the movies bill gave charlie.* (maybe i should look for a nice high school english teacher to date?) i have to add that my rereading was greatly askew by the movie because i saw all the characters as their actor counterparts. sadly i can not remember how i imagined them before. however, all of the actors did fit, so it was fine. overall, i realized that i may have been a little harsh on the movie version, it was not as horrible or disappointing as i said. it was true to the essence of the book. however, i have to reiterate my disappointment in the christmas poem not being recited in the film.

my rereading not only made me realize how harsh i was on the film but also why i didn't love it like i loved the book. the reason being that as a reader you really get to know charlie, as a viewer your relationship is superficial. charlie is a great character and the best way to get to know him is through his letters. the ramblings in his letters paint a better picture of who charlie is versus the tales of his high school years. yes the stories were great but the true beauty is his musing and thoughts on life.

here are some examples:

his thoughts on old photos and how people happier people look in them:

"i just hope i remember to tell my kids TJs they are as happy as i look my old photographs. and i hope that they believe me."

when he discovered his grandfather once beat his mom when she was a child and received bad grades:

"i don't know if that's good or bad. i don't know if it's better to have your kids be happy and not go to college. i don't know if it's better to be close with your daughter or make sure that has a better life than you do."

on mixed tapes:

"i has an amazing feeling when i finally held the tape in my hand. i just thought to myself that in the palm of my hand, there was this one tape that had all these memories and feelings and great joy and sadness. right in the palm of my hand. and i thought about how many people loved those songs. and how many people got through a lot of bad times because of those songs. and how many odious enjoyed good times with those songs. and how much songs really mean. i junk it would be great to have written one of these songs. i bet if i wrote one of them, i would be very proud. i hope the people who wrote those songs are happy. i hope that they feel it's enough. i really do because they've made me happy. and i'm
only one person."

i just realized that i will end up quoting the whole book so will stop. but the point is that what makes charlie so great is his selflessness, his ability to think beyond himself. i try sometimes to think about the lives of strangers, wondering what they have experienced and when i do, it humanizes them and then it easier to understand and then eventually love thy neighbor. charlie was just as described, a wallflower and an observer but what made him different was his empathy. as i read about charlie, i thought of another boy who felt too much, douglas from "dandelion wine". i didn't discuss it in that blog but at the end of "dandelion wine" douglas became ill because he takes on the suffering and feelings of others. it's kinda jesus-y but not in a cheesy way. but both saw the world in a ego-less way which resulted in novels with great life lessons.

the ramblings of charlie get one thinking about their life and that is what make this book so great. charlie's inner thoughts were lost in the movie. it's probably because these thoughts would have been too random in the movie but make sense in the book. like when charlie's mother told his brother to watch his language in front of charlie. his brother used the words "faggot" and "high" and charlie realized that he is the only one in the car that has a gay friend or has done drugs. he also realized that maybe everyone is in family has been high and they just don't say anything. and he's so right. i bet a lot of people who know have toked up but we just don't realize it. its random thoughts like this that make you love charlie.

as i was reading, i wondered what it was that made the younger me fall in love with this book. i know for one it was the music. i actually made a mixed cd version of the tape charlie gave patrick as his secret santa gift (i listened to it as i wrote this blog). and to this day i am hopeful that a boy will gift me a copy of the beatles' "something" because it reminds him of me. i also love the idea that certain moments soundtracked with the right song can makenone feel infinite.

so quick digression. in the movie, the infinte song was "heroes" by bowie. but in the book it's simply a song about a boy. i thought maybe pearl jam's "jeremy" but that song came out in '92 and that moment took place in '91. i tried googling songs about a boy in 91 and no luck. even looked through list of top songs of 91 and found nothing. curious about others theories on what song it is. though i did discover that the love song they heard while searching for music that had the word "baby" had to be amy grant's "baby, baby" that came out in 91.

the poem that charlie gave patrick for christmas had a profound effect on the high school verison of me. i thought it was really deep. i had the same reaction as the rest of the group at the christmas party. i was in awe of it. now as an adult, the poem is sad but less profound, i guess the difference is that i have lost my naiveté about the world. when i read it as a teen, i was starting to question my world as i knew it. i was realizing that not everything is black and white and that though i may have strong morals, it doesn't mean the world does. i always mentioned my religious upbringing but i remember the priest part because i was starting to realize maybe religion wasn't capital t-truth. and that maybe things done in the name of god where not always the right thing. the ending of the poem never seemed a solution to any problems i had as a teen, it wasn't profound because i had thoughts of sucide. though it did make me sad for kids that did. i lived in a bubble, i never suffered any kind of abuse, and lead a straight-edge life. so did not connect with the story because it was a shared experience.

reading the perks was a voyeuristic experience for me. i never did drugs or had sex in high school, i was such a good mormon. so "the perks" was how my high school years could have been if i released my inner party-er at a teen. i would have done everything except the lsd. and no coincidence that one of the first things i did in college was attend a midnight "rocky horror" showing. i loved reading about their performances. (i always say myself playing columbia versus dammit janet. i would get down in those tap shoes!). so maybe i was charliesque in that sense, i didn't "participate" in that crazy lifestyle but enjoyed reading about it.

"the perks of being a wallflower" will always be one of my favorite books. these characters have always felt like my friends and even as i grow older, i won't lose my connection. they are like high school friends, you may outgrow each other but you will always be friends because of the experiences you had together.

last random note: the lowercase-ness of the title is why i stopped using capital letters.

*charlie's reading and watching list:
to kill a mockingbird
this side of paradise
peter pan
the great gatsby
a separate piece
catcher in the rye
walden
on the road
naked lunch
the stranger
halmet
the fountainhead

the graduate
harold and maude
my life as a dog
dead poets' society
the unbelievable truth

the perks of being a wallflower. stephen chbosky. movie version.

before i start, i haven't blogged in a while because i haven't read anything new. "war and peace" is taking forever to read and i have been working a lot so lo siento but will be better in the future.

second, this isn't a movie i checked out but saw in theaters and it isn't based on a book i checked out, but it is a book that i absolutely loved in high school. and so i decided to blog because it is one of my all-time favorite books (and sadly not one of my all-time favorite movie.)

i remember finding in at the bookstore and since it was an MTV book, decided to give it a go. plus the title sounded interested. i read it my sophomore or junior year, my friend stephen warren ruined my copy by highlighting a line about masturbation in it, and i think that happen in our sophomore english class. but regardless i love it, i love it so much that at the mention of it, my heart gushes with love for it.

it was my favorite book in high school. i read it a handful of times throughout high school. i made a mixed cd of the mixed tape that charlie gave patrick for secret santa and listened to it constantly. i also recited the poem that he wrote for a 4H speech competition. (it was pretty heavy but i won a medal). and i started picking up pennies and sharing the luck just like stoner bob said, i would also tell people "stoner bob says . . .". i was kinda obsessed with it.

so when i first saw a trailer for the film i was not excited but scared. i was scared that they would a) ruin something near and dear to me and b) take something that i felt like was my own little secret book and turn into this huge public fad. (the book deserves success but not the trendy let's read it cos emma watson is in it but more of the word of mouth (which trust me in high school i tried to get everyone to read it). so i was not planning on seeing it. but then i talked to people about it and discovered that chbosky wrote (well, adapted his own novel, that sounds very charlie kaufmanesque) and directed it, so decided it would be true to the book and decide to watch it.

i was expecting to be in tears over it. but i wasn't. i was kinda disappointed and the only reason i can think of is that my love for the book is so great that any movie would have failed. i mean the author made the freakin movie, it was his vision i initially loved and eventually saw. but i wasn't filled with warm fuzzies like i expected. and i'm not sure why. i mean the casting was great, everyone seemed like their character, i mean patrick was amazing and charlie was charlie. and who
doesn't love emma watson and "anne"?!? also i love the actress that plays his aunt though i don't know her name. and i wanted to hug paul rudd as his english teacher. i loved that the tunnel song was bowie's "heroes". the rocky horror scenes were great. but i still didn't connect like i thought i would. i got tear-eyed during some moments but no crying. and oddly one of the most emotional scenes for me was the dance with the "living room" routine because it was straight up my best friend miguel and i at our 8th grade graduation dance.

i will add that i was disappointed that chbosky edited out the poem that charlie gives to all of them at christmas. its sad but one of my favorite things about the book. i also did not like how he tried to tie in "something" to the aunt verses it being sam's favorite song.** i would have also like to have seen stoner bob share his penny wisdom.

and i'm not saying its a bad film. it's a great film and if you are reading this, go see it! i might go again. everyone did a great job. it just wasn't for me. but it did inspire me to dig up my old copy and re-read. i last read it probably my senior year though it did travel with me to college. but didn't re-read it recently because i figured that the story not so fresh in my head would be better for movie watching. but not the case.

i would also like to add that the douchebag sitting behind me, annoyed the hell out of me which could have caused my un-enjoyment of the film. he was not the brightest bulb in the pack and kept on asking his girlfriend questions. he also ruined a scene between patrick and charlie because of his homophobia to which i gave him a dirty look in the dark and debated lecturing him out of the film. also his girlfriend laughed inappropriately during a scene with charlie and sam. i hate how immature/ignorant people can be. it was at the landmark, i expect more from their audience.

but go see it and fall in love with the movie and then read the book and fall into deeper love with it.

**blogger note: i just finished rereading "the perks" and realized that i was wrong about this. in my head, sam had played "something" for him as her friend song. but not the case. sorry. (12.12.12)